- Mar 20, 2003
If he shoved you now when he's trying to win you back, what will he do if thinks he *has* you back? Please update us and tell us you've moved out for good!
Izzy03|1306124826|2928137 said:......we had plans to go out with friends later in the evening.........
Izzy03|1306124826|2928137 said:Tacori~ I was under the impression that he was keeping some meds on hand in case his knee pain began flaring up again, I vividly remember him telling me that. After work, I went back to our home because we had plans to go out with friends later in the evening. He told me that his knee had been very painful all day, so I asked him if he had needed to take a painkiller. I do not feel I was provoking him because I am okay with him taking something on the occasional "bad knee" day. I never thought it would trigger a reaction like that. We had talked about trying to work things out so I did not feel out of line asking him about it. He crossed the line for sure this time. I truly do not think he has been abusing meds, but I could be wrong. Our main issue has been his rage and I don't see it getting better for more than a few months at a time. Its a deal breaker.
Also, I really don't have the guts to call the cops on this. I do have a bruise and scrape on my knee from where I fell on the carpet. I will take a photo, but I can't see myself reporting the abuse. I don't need any leverage in a divorce, our finances are not combined and I declined being put on the mortgage for his home after we were married.
Izzy03|1306124826|2928137 said:Its a deal breaker.
movie zombie|1306165230|2928298 said:Izzy03|1306124826|2928137 said:......we had plans to go out with friends later in the evening.........
really?! "we"?! why were you still doing things with him?! you say each and every time he's crossed a line.......
remember i said i reached a point where i was tired of listening to myself so i realized that my friends must have reached that stage prior? you've been given all kinds of advise. its up to you whether you follow any of it or not. are you hurting enough to start to admit that you need to make changes?
this is no longer about him. its about you. you've sent him mixed messages. you say one thing but you do another. either you're done.....really done means that you don't make plans to go out with friends later in the evening together. or you're not done and you'll experience a further escalation of abuse in the relationship.....you have to look at your part in this game and accept that you have responsibility as well. he escalated with the shove because he can. he's been empowered to do so. he's learned that despite saying you're done, you're not. was it right to shove you? of course not! did you deserve it? of course not! but you taught him he can escalate his behavior in the game and that you'll tolerate it.....so he has. stick around and it will just get worse. but we've been telling you this for some time now..........
again, i'm sorry that you're going through this but until you take control of your life, well, i will admit i'm sounding like a broken record, too.