Sleep talking

[elrohwen]

Does anyone here talk in their sleep? Anyone with SOs who do? I want to hear funny stories!



DH has started doing it more and more lately and it''s so funny. He gets so frustrated trying to make a point, but nothing he says makes any sense and he clearly isn''t going to remember it in the morning, but he always acts like he''s awake. Here''s one conversation:

me: I can''t sleep so I''m going to read for a little bit.
DH: One goes into four!!
me: What are you talking about?
DH: *sigh* One piller goes into four.
me: You''re not making sense.
DH: (yelling) Use your food!!

LOL He was mortified the next day when I said he had yelled at me, since he never ever yells when he''s awake. I get frustrated that he won''t make sense, but it''s also pretty hilarious.

 

[somethingshiny]

I am a big sleep talker. DH says it''s just comical off-the-wall phrases, kind of like Dory on Finding Nemo.

My dad is such a sleep talker that he tells whole stories!! He used to have an excavating business and in his sleep he''d give orders. When he was done, still dead asleep, he''s slap his hands together in that "I''m done" way.

Once, my dad was just barely awake and yelling at my mom that he wanted "sixes and threes" and she "said she''d make them!!" We were all cracking up and my mom was trying to figure out what the heck sixes and threes were. Turns out, he wanted hamburgers and fries.

 

[Kelli]

Great thread Mine does the same thing!

One night my fiance was very angry with me in his sleep for "piling dogs and dishes on his legs." He also got very upset one time because "the waiter won''t bring me ranch dressing" and he always spits out these crazy equations from his engineering job.

 

[elrohwen]

Haha, great stories! My favorite was the dogs and dishes on his legs. Lol

What is it with people being so angry in their sleep? An additional part of the story that I told was that DH was really angry at me for wanting to wake up and read for a bit. We were in Europe and I hadn't adjusted, so I just couldn't sleep. We had twin beds for whatever reason, so my light was far away from where he was sleeping, but he got really mad about it. He now remembers that he was really hot for some reason and was frustrated about that, and for some reason became mad at me for turning on the light next to the bed to read. That's when he started with the whole "use your food" thing. Weirdo. He's sometimes able to sit up and even walk around while he's doing this, so you think he's awake until he starts with the nonsense.

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

I dated a guy once who talked in his sleep ALL THE TIME. One time he just yelled out "TOP OF THE MORNIN'' TO YA" in an Irish accent. That''s one I''ll never forget. He also would talk about poker a lot. "No way. My flush beats your pair" or more commonly, "all-in."

I was once told I yelled "stop feeding nuts to the squirrels!" Definitely sounds like something I''d say.

 

[iheartscience]

Ha, my husband is also a mean sleep talker who is extremely nice in real life! He's a total bed hog so sometimes when I make him move he wakes up a little and says crazy stuff.

I can't remember any of the total nonsense off the top of my head but my personal favorite is when I told him to move over one night and he said "Do you want me to sleep on the radiator?!" in a mean voice!

He didn't remember at all and of course felt guilty for being mean but I just thought it was funny!

 

[kama_s]

Mr. Kama is a huge sleep talker! He always gets frustrated that I'm not understanding him, and then even more so when I laugh my head off at his silly ramblings! I try and recount the conversations to him the next morning if I remember, but boy is it entertaining! Usually it's something very technical mixed added onto something he saw on TV that night or something we talked/read about. For instance: 'Those ip addresses need to be banned from the pasta' (?!?!)


ETA: I just remembered somethign else. When I was younger, my little brother was goig through his ridiculously annoying stage when he'd do the most horrible things like pull my hair or repeat everything I said. One night I was so frustrated I yelled out 'STOP IT *insert Kama's brother's name here*' STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT' reaaallly loud. My parents had a talk with my brother the next day because obviously it was beginning to affect me quite a bit.

 

[LGK]

I sleep talk a *lot*. DH says he can rarely understand what I'm saying though, it's usually just mumbling. Or, he'll have long conversations with me where he thinks I'm awake because I'm mostly coherent, but later he realizes I was sound asleep. He says the funniest thing I do in my sleep is stick my arms straight up in the air, quite inexplicably. Sometimes for hours. He sometimes takes pity on me and pulls my arms down so I don't totally lose circulation in them

. I can always tell when I'm doing the weird arm thing when I wake up and my whole arm is asleep. Ugh.

As for him? He sleeps so quietly he's like the dead. Just curls up and never snores or moves. I am the restless blanket-stealer, he just lets me.

Oh and I did do the angry sleep yelling thing the other night. He asked me a simple question- I think it was if I wanted another pillow or something- and I got really angry (in my sleep) and yelled "NO! If I wanted one I'd ask for it." And he thought I was awake and angry since it kind of made sense. Of course who knows what I really thought he was offering me another of.

 

[KimberlyH]

I''m the sleep talker in our house. Apperantly I always used to say "Pichu", whatever that means, but it''s dropped off as of late. So he''d ask me a question thinking I was awake and I would respond "Pichu." I don''t recall any other things he''s told me I''ve said but I do know I get mean, too.

 

[packrat]

bahahaha these are funny!

My mom does it a lot-or used to anyway, when I still lived at home.

My dad once, after they''d just gotten married, sat up in the middle of the night and started hollering "BOOM! BOOM!" and making all these gun noises and saying things, so mom thought oh lordy, he''s having Vietnam flashbacks! Turns out he was duck hunting and thought mom was his friend Phil.

Once, I was writing a letter and my mind just blanked on how to spell attorney, so I woke mom up to ask her, or thought she was awake anyway..she got all disgusted with me and said "Missi, you know I don''t know how to speak Spanish!"

I had a strange conversation with her once that she swears up and down I made up b/c it was so outlandish, and I''m like seriously mom, who could make that crap up??? I was positive she was awake-she got up to use the bathroom and she was sitting up, smoking a cigarette!

 

[MagsyMay]

These are too funny! I''m a BIG sleeptalker myself, always have been. I speak very clearly, practically over-enunciating, so my FI says. I also occasionally scream at the top of my lungs like, panic scream-being chased-think I''m about to die. That is always interesting. Especially when I was in college and slept in a sorority "cold dorm" as we called them (i.e. huge cold room with about 50+ girls sleeping in bunks). Oops!

Also, when I took the IL bar exam 3 years ago, I would regularly quote entire rules of law that I had memorized. Good to know I was retaining that info somewhere!

FI sleep talks occasionally and it always cracks me up. I can''t think of anything specific he has said, but he does have bouts of yelling/shaking, apparently when he''s having Afghanistan or Iraq deployment flashbacks. Once he practically attacked me, or so he says, "shielded me from the IED" in his dream, ha. It scared the living beezeezus out of me!

 

[yssie]

Date: 1/3/2010 4:54:47 PM
Author:elrohwen
Does anyone here talk in their sleep? Anyone with SOs who do? I want to hear funny stories!



DH has started doing it more and more lately and it's so funny. He gets so frustrated trying to make a point, but nothing he says makes any sense and he clearly isn't going to remember it in the morning, but he always acts like he's awake. Here's one conversation:

me: I can't sleep so I'm going to read for a little bit.
DH: One goes into four!!
me: What are you talking about?
DH: *sigh* One piller goes into four.
me: You're not making sense.
DH: (yelling) Use your food!!

LOL He was mortified the next day when I said he had yelled at me, since he never ever yells when he's awake. I get frustrated that he won't make sense, but it's also pretty hilarious.

That's hilarious

I'm a big talker in my sleep, FI likes to tease me about it.. and I like to talk about food, though I apparently once asked him where the restroom was because I needed one urgently, and then I didn't move or wake up, and he got worried

He sleeps like a corpse - either on his front with his arms to the side or on his back with his arms crossed, no sound, no motion.

 

[monarch64]

When I worked as a cashier in a supermarket in high school, I guess I was really, really into my job. Every night I would sleep talk. I had an alarm clock with red digital numbers and I used to "wake up" and think the alarm clock was the cash register, and that whatever time it said was the change I owed the customer. I would then dig around in my bed trying to find bills and coins to give them their change. It was ridiculous. No one else ever saw me do it, but it happened to me all the time for an entire year that I worked there and it was awful. Looking back on it now I can laugh, though.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

My DH talks sooo much in his sleep. Most of the time, he yells at me and says really mean things.

When we first got married it freaked me out cuz I thought he was actually yelling at me.

Now I know it means nothing because he wakes up and hes like waht are you talking about...

Whats funnier is he is a worse sleep eater!

He will wake up in the middle of the night and eat almost everything that is ready made in the fridge, cookies out of the pantry, pop tarts, candy, you name it.

I have many times woken up to wrappers galore, toaster out on the counter, and empty boxes of treats.

There is this one time that is the most memorable.

You know how HUGE the things are at costco... We had just bought a pumpkn pie from there.

The next morning, my DH wakes me up and is yelling about how I had left a mess in the kitchen before I went to sleep. (DH usually goes to sleep before me)

I go into the kitchen and the pumpkin pie had just bought is all but eaten except for one piece, sitting on the counter...

A new gallon of milk, now room temperature, is also out of the fridge, next to a empty unused cup.

And then there is a bowl of Raisin Bran Crunch poured into a bowl with no milk but with a spoon in it.


I KNOW I didn't do this, so I tell DH it was probably you during the night!

And he says nooooo I HATE rasin bran crunch, we buy that cereal for you! So it must have been you!

So this goes on with me saying it was him and him saying it was me... until a month or so later, when we are at my in laws and his mom and I are talking about this incident.

She goes on to tell me that he's always been a sleep walker and one night, when he was around 7, he got up, got on his bicycle and rode out into the middle of the night onto the main street! She told me its a good thing his older brother shared a room with him because he got up and followed him out and guided him back home.

I'm afraid one of these days, hes gonna open the front door while he is sleeping and my dogs are gonna get out!

I still think its cute tho

ETA: I also forgot to add that he karate chops A LOT during his sleep! hahahaha

 

[Kaleigh]

Hubby does some times, not often. I try to chat with him during these spells, but he just gets annoyed like no you don''t get it?? Haha.

DS talks in his sleep. We cracked up at this when he was little. We said well he''s got soooo much to say he can never shut up, sleeping or not!!!!

And that''s true to this day...

 

[wsu12]

Date: 1/3/2010 4:54:47 PM
Author:elrohwen
Does anyone here talk in their sleep? Anyone with SOs who do? I want to hear funny stories!




DH has started doing it more and more lately and it''s so funny. He gets so frustrated trying to make a point, but nothing he says makes any sense and he clearly isn''t going to remember it in the morning, but he always acts like he''s awake. Here''s one conversation:


me: I can''t sleep so I''m going to read for a little bit.

DH: One goes into four!!

me: What are you talking about?

DH: *sigh* One piller goes into four.

me: You''re not making sense.

DH: (yelling) Use your food!!


LOL He was mortified the next day when I said he had yelled at me, since he never ever yells when he''s awake. I get frustrated that he won''t make sense, but it''s also pretty hilarious.

Hahahah!
I''ll see you and raise you:
DH: (feeling his legs) Where are my shorts?
ME: Huh? What shorts?
DH: My bullet proof shorts!
ME: (laughing) What are bullet proof shorts?
DH: Duh, shorts that repel bullets.
ME: Laughing...almost falling out of the bed.
DH: Am I saying funny things again?

 

[Lilac]

My husband does this a lot! Just last night I woke up to my pillow literally being yanked out from under my head. I looked up at him, kind of annoyed, and said:

Me: Why are you pulling my pillow away??
DH: I have to find it.
Me: Have to find what?
DH: I can''t find it anywhere! I lost it!
Me: WHAT did you lose??
DH: The iPod... I lost it. (and he keeps yanking the pillows away from me and practically pushes me off the bed trying to search through the sheets)
Me: What are you talking about your iPod isn''t here!!
DH: Oh. Wait, what''s going on? I''m confused.

And about a week ago he was very emphatically telling me I needed to go do something but he couldn''t quite specify what. Then he rolled over and went back to sleep.

About a month after we got married, I woke up from him talking in his sleep.
DH: Go hide it! It''s in the drawer! Go hide it!
Me: Hide what?
DH: I have to hide it. I have to get rid of it so he doesn''t find it.
Me: What do you need to hide???
DH: The credit cards!
Me: Why?
DH: My boss is trying to steal my credit card information!!!

It''s always an adventure trying to figure out what he''s talking about in his sleep.

 

[Sabine]

One of my college roommates did and we used to mock her mercilessly, but I don''t remember any specifics!

DH grinds his teeth in his sleep...would almost rather hear talking!

 

[xapora]

DH and I both talk in our sleep. I tend to yell about birds and spiders chasing me whereas DH will talk nonsense. My favorite was:

DH: Hey, where are you?
Me: I''m right here.
DH: UGH...not YOU, the other girl!

He couldn''t understand why I was so mad at him the next morning.

 

[IdLikeToBuyAVal]

I have this really random sleep-amnesia or something. I can carry on whole conversations (talk on the phone, talk to FI, everything) and when I wake up I have no idea that any of it took place. FI has a really difficult time telling if I''m awake or not when he gets ready for work because he''ll ask me if I''m ready to get up and I''ll tell him something semi-coherent that kind of makes sense and he''ll go on getting ready, then come back and ask me if I want to get up NOW and I''ll tell him something else. I can also turn off the alarm in my sleep (so now I set the alarm plus the alarm on my phone). It''s very disconcerting sometimes!

FI rarely talks in his sleep but when he does it''s hilarious. I''ve woken him up laughing at his stories. He''ll sometimes tell me nonsense very emphatically and I''ll ask questions to try to understand but he gets frustrated and tells me "nevermind!".

 

[MissMina]

I scream in my sleep. I take a medication that gives me vivid dreams and I wake up the whole house. Once I am awake I can''t remember anything of what I dreamed or explain what I was yelling about.

My dad talked in his sleep and would answer questions.
As kids we found this fascinating.

 

[Lynnie]

Haha... these are funny.
DH talks in his sleep ALL the time. I swear one day I''m gonna video-tape it.

DH: Starts laughing in hysterics out of nowhere.
Me: What''s so funny?
Him: Kelly''s on Pop-Pop''s roof!!! (Kelly''s his sister)
Me: What''s so funny about that?
Him: How the F@%K did she get her car up there?!?!? HAHAHAHAHAH She can''t get it down! AHAHAHA

He curses a lot in his sleep, too. I wonder too about the whole anger thing... strange.

DH: Starts grumbling
Me: What''s the matter?
Him: The B!tch at CVS stole my pen!!!
Me: Here - I''ve got a pen for ya. Don''t worry about that B!tch.
Him: AW, thanks honey (big smile).
Me: You''re welcome. Now you can draw me a picture.
Him: What should I draw?
Me: I dunno,.. How about a heart?
Him: AWWWW A heart!!! (super big little kid type smile)

I like to mess with him and insert myself into the dream... sometimes he doesn''t like it though. I''ve gotten a few "STOP messin with me" remarks.

My mom talks in her sleep, too. Almost always about random kitchen things, like "Get me a paper towel" or something.

 

[MonkeyPie]

LOL I love this thread.

My DH doesn''t talk too much, but he laughs in his sleep a LOT. He''s a pretty happy guy when awake, so it makes sense that he would be happy in his sleep, too. Just yesterday he fell asleep while I was on the computer, sitting near his head, and after about an hour he started squirming around like he was really uncomfortable. I asked what was the matter, he got really still, passed gas, and then laughed in a really embarrassed way. Gah, I had to leave the room I was laughing so hard - he never woke up!

 

[sba771]

My FI says I sleep talk in Hebrew. I wish he understood it so he could tell me what the heck I am saying while I am dead asleep.

 

[Lynnie]

lol I just thought of another funny story.

This happened while I was living at my mom''s.

She has a habit of falling asleep on the couch with the TV on. So one night we''re watching some cop show - maybe Law & Order, or something akin to it. So on the show, the cops are doing a bust. They get to the guy''s house, and start banging on the door... "OPEN UP. it''s the POLICE!!!".
Outta nowhere, my mom jumps up out of her sleep, FLIES to the door, screaming "OMG, what''s going on???!??" with this wild look in her eyes. She OPENS the door, totally confused... and she gets more confused when the cops aren''t there. "What are you doing just SITTING there?!?! We have to EVACUATE!!!!", she yells at me.
I couldn''t stop laughing. She finally realized it was a dream... I told her to stop falling asleep in front of the tube!

 

[MissMina]

That really did make me laugh out loud.
Too bad no one had a camera handy.

 

[radiantquest]

You guys have me laughing out loud at my desk. My DH sleep talks. It is so funny. For some reason he is always talking about "everybody". Like once he was talking about something with "everybody" involved and I asked him what he was talking about, and reminded him that it was just me and him in bed. He got frustrated and said "yeah, me, you and those guys pissing in the corner." Whenever he starts his sleep talking I try to get him to talk more and he gets so frustrated that I don''t get it. Usually I will continue to ask him questions about what he just said and than he wakes up realizing that none of it made any sense.

He has been angry with me a couple times. One time I asked him to roll over because he was snoring and he said "I have really had it with your sh!t!"

Another time he fell alseep on the couch and I was trying to wake up to go to the bedroom and he was so mad he told me to get the F out!

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 1/3/2010 8:39:05 PM
Author: Sabine
One of my college roommates did and we used to mock her mercilessly, but I don''t remember any specifics!

DH grinds his teeth in his sleep...would almost rather hear talking!

I grind my teeth very loudly, but at least I can wear a mouth guard! There''s no shutting DH up in his sleep

 

[elrohwen]

Ok, this isn''t sleep talking, but I thought I''d add it anyway because it''s pretty funny. Once in college I lived in a four bedroom apartment with 3 male roommmates. One night I went to sleep and apparently woke up to go to the bathroom, but ended up in my roommate''s bed instead of mine. He was mortified and didn''t know what to do. Lol. He was just trying to figure out how he would get out of the bed without waking me up (beause he was against the wall) to go sleep on the couch when I got up on my own and went back to my own bed. Haha. We still joke about that. And I was touched that he would let me sleep there and go sleep on the couch. Such a nice roommate

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I sleep walk and sleep talk Here''s a few of my gems lol

*note: I don''t use pot nor did my friend, but this is what I said after I crashed on his couch after a party back in college

"I''m sorry m, I ate your entire bag of weed"

yeah, i don''t know what that was about lol

About 8 months ago I slept walked out into the living room and said to dh "There''s a dead body next to me in the bed" and he was like what?!?! Then he said "you''re sleepwalking, go back to bed" me-"okkkkkk"

Also if I work over 40 hours, without a doubt I will have lucid dreaming and sit up in bed and start doing my job, typing on the keyboard, answering the phone, whatever