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On 5/20/2003 10:14:47 AM thrive wrote:
My girlfriend and I looked at some rings this weekend for an engagement. She didn't like anything larger than .55 carats, because she has such small hands. I can easily afford more, so my first thought was to get a higher quality diamond at this size. She wants a solitaire by the way.
Now a friend who used to deal in diamonds says her friends will think I'm cheap because I didn't get her a larger stone, and she'll eventually realize she would have liked something bigger.
Any advice?----------------
I've commented in previous threads that I think the ring should be about what both parties want, as Mara has said.
However, I don't quite see this as being the same thing. Thrive doesn't seem to mind the .55 size; his initial idea was to simply get a high quality stone in that size. The foremost reason he's concerned about size isn't because he doesn't care for the smaller size....it's the thought that her friends will think he's cheap. He also mentioned that she may change her mind down the line and want a larger stone.
Frankly, any of her "friends" that really know her will know of her desire for a smaller stone. For those who are unenlightened, the simple reply could be "This is what she wanted, what she selected." It really doesn't matter what her friends think, it matters if you and she are happy. I know some people find this hard to believe, but NOT everyone wants a humongous diamond.
It sounds as though she hasn't selected that size arbitrarily...you've said you went out and looked at rings, and she doesn't want anything that will look awkward on her hand. If you override that, you may find she wears it less on a day-to-day basis down the line, and that defeats the purpose.
Thrive, since this isn't a total surprise, I'd talk with your GF and tell her that you want to be sure she only wants a .55 diamond. Tell her what you've heard about "shrinkage" and ask if she's considered that. You should also discuss how you both feel about "upgrades" down the line....if both of you aren't horribly sentimental about the actual stone, you could always trade up. If you are sentimental about the stone, it could always be set into a pendant if she decides on a larger stone later on for her ring.
Above all.....make your decisions based on what's important to you and to her. A ring is a personal choice, and it shouldn't matter what everyone else thinks.