Silly/bad//cheesy jokes?

[princesss]

So I''m in a terrible mood today, and so I''m hoping you all have some really silly jokes to cheer me up!

I''ll start:

How is an elephant like a grape?

They''re both purple. Except the elephant.

 

[Skippy123]

Oh Princesss, I am sorry, hugs.

Here is one.

There are 10 cats in a basket and one cat jumps out. How many are left?

None. They are all copycats!

 

[Skippy123]

Another cute one.

A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you''re stupid, please stand up."

Right away, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Why do you think you''re stupid, Little Johnny?"

"I don’t, ma''am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

 

[princesss]

Haha, Skippy, I love the cat one! too cute!

And thanks for the hug, I really need those today.

 

[Elmorton]

My favorite:

What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall?

Dam.

 

[joflier]

Knock Knock

Who''s There?

Centipede

Centipede who?

Centipede on the christmas tree!

 

[princesss]

Date: 12/17/2008 9:05:10 PM
Author: joflier
Knock Knock


Who''s There?


Centipede


Centipede who?


Centipede on the christmas tree!

Oh.

My.

Goodness.


I really just laughed until it hurt. Thank you.

 

[oobiecoo]

Well, I don''t really have any cheesy jokes but I do have a joke gone wrong...

Me: Knock Knock, Who''s there?
DH: Umm... I''m.not.sure.... I can''t participate in this joke.
Me: Huh?... ohhhhhh

Maybe you had to be there though... lol

 

[iheartscience]

What did the one cannibal say to the other cannibal while eating a clown?












Does this taste funny to you?

 

[Skippy123]

What do you call 10 rabbits walking backwards?

... A receding hair line.




What is the STRONGEST letter in the alphabet?

P… Even Superman Can’t Hold It!!

 

[redfaerythinker]

Where does the king keep his armies?...


In his sleevies!!!!

lol, I know that''s terrible, but I crack up every time.

 

[joflier]

What did the orange say to the banana?



I find you quite apeeling!

 

[princesss]

Date: 12/17/2008 10:13:55 PM
Author: redfaerythinker
Where does the king keep his armies?...



In his sleevies!!!!


lol, I know that''s terrible, but I crack up every time.

Hahaa, it''s okay, I was cracking up, too!

Oh man, these are great. Keep ''em coming!

 

[ladypirate]

Why do the French only eat one egg at breakfast?








Because in France, one egg is "un oeuf" [pronounced enough]!

 

[ladypirate]

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?










Because if they had four, they''d be chicken sedans!

 

[somethingshiny]

Why was the letter wet?

because there was postage dew


What do you get when you cross a mouth and a twig?

lipstick



Two muffins are sitting in the oven and the one turns to the other and says "dang, it''s hot in here!" The second muffin says "Whoa! A talking muffin!"



Why do elephants paint their tonails red?
so they can hide in cherry trees

Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
works, doesn''t it

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 12/17/2008 11:27:32 PM
Author: ladypirate
Why do chicken coops only have two doors?










Because if they had four, they'd be chicken sedans!

LOL, that one is really cute LP!!!


LOL to the lipstick SS!

 

[somethingshiny]

I forgot to put on one of my favorites. Apparently some people think it's a bad joke...

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?


A stick!

cracks me up every time!!



and another one, my mom's favorites

what does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog do on three legs?


shake hands


What's a four letter word for intercourse ending in 'k'?

talk

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Why does a milk stool only have three legs?



Because the cow has the udder.


Warning.. This one might offend some of you..

Guess who is still together after all of the crap they''ve been through?




Your butt cheeks.

 

[mayachel]

I heart cheesy jokes.

What do you call an 8 sided cat?


An OCTOPUS!

 

[Lorelei]

Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed.....




* slinks off...*

 

[AdiS]

What do you get when you cross a canary and a tiger?

I''m not sure, but you''d better listen when it sings for you!

 

[strmrdr]

"Easy Money" by Robyn Banks
"Embarrassing Missing Items" by Bikin E. Bottoms
"Errors and Accidents" by Miss Takes and Miss Haps

 

[GoingCrazy29]

How do you make a kleenex dance?
- Put a little boogie in it!!


What did the policeman say to his shirt?
- You''re under a vest (get it, like you''re under arrest but with an accent?!)

 

[musey]

Date: 12/17/2008 9:05:10 PM
Author: joflier
Knock Knock

Who's There?

Centipede

Centipede who?

Centipede on the christmas tree!

Oh man, I think this one wins!!!!!!

 

[musey]

Date: 12/18/2008 8:36:05 AM
Author: Lorelei
Why was the sand wet?


Because the sea weed.....





* slinks off...*

No, this is my favorite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Erin]

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn''t it?"

Second one says, "No, it''s Thursday!"

Third one says, "So am I. Let''s go get a beer."

 

[Erin]

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It
cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It''s perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty."

 

[joflier]

How was the Roman empire cut in half?









With a pair of Ceasars!

 

[princesss]

Date: 12/18/2008 12:15:54 PM
Author: joflier
How was the Roman empire cut in half?









With a pair of Ceasars!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I love it.