Should little kids be banned from some restaurants?

[kenny]

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2011/07/11/pa.ban.noisy.kids.restaurant.wtae?&hpt=hp_c2

We've discussed this before but I was surprised to see a restaurant in the news for banning kids under 6.
This sounds like a risky business strategy.
Not loving children is taboo and people usually keep such feelings to themselves.
Clearly we're not talking about McDonald's and Chucky Cheese, who'd go broke banning kids.

We all know some kids, but certainly not all, can be spoiled brats that the parent's can't or won't control.
Then there are the babies, who are not misbehaving.
They are just being babies, which means they cry sometimes.

I've seen kids run around table to table and be noisy at nice restaurants and it certainly is unpleasant.
I'm more annoyed with the parents than at the kid.
Some of the parents think the kid is just being outgoing and charming, and I'm a jerk because I don't go all gah gah over their DNA unit, who is the most precious wonderful gift to the world.

The mother interviewed says the ban was ignorant, but the owner says parents are selfish.

Do you support such a ban?

 

[MsP]

Kids don't even have to be acting out.

I was at a fairly exclusive restaurant that takes months to get reservations for, costs about $300/pp, seats only a handful of people a night....and at the table across the way there is a ~4 year old quietly playing with action figures the whole time. Was he well behaved, sure. Was it a huge distraction, yes. Kind of amusing too though. hahaha

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I see no issue with a restaurant banning kids. In my opinion, it's no different than a couples-only resort. If a restaurant is trying to cater to an adult-only crowd, I think it's smart to market itself as a kid-free oasis.

 

[Aoife]

I don't think it's really possible to make a hard and fast rule on this one. Some kids can be extraordinarily well-behaved, and I personally don't have a problem with sitting at a neighboring table in a very, very nice/high end restaurant as long as the child is acting appropriately. I'm more annoyed by adults who talk loudly on cell phones than by a child, because the adult ought to know better and have more consideration. When our girls were that young we took them with us every once in a while for a special treat. However, both of them knew from a very early age that there was literally no restaurant, no show, no celebration that we were not willing to get up and walk out of if either of them misbehaved.

 

[princesss]

I see no issue with a restaurant banning kids. In my opinion, it's no different than a couples-only resort. If a restaurant is trying to cater to an adult-only crowd, I think it's smart to market itself as a kid-free oasis.

I totally agree. People are free to either patronize the restaurant or not.

Personally, I've never had an issue with a restaurant that had a bunch of screaming kids (that wasn't advertised as a family-friendly place, that is), so it's not something I care much about either way, but I can see the appeal.

 

[TravelingGal]

As a parent, I fully support a place where I can tell my kid, sorry, you'll have to stay at the door!

 

[TooPatient]

Yes. Their business. Their choice. If I don't like their policies, I won't eat there.

I actually think it is a pretty smart idea for certain places to put such a policy in place (either full time or even just certain days of the week). They'll probably upset a lot fewer people just having a blanket "no kids under X age" policy than just allowing kids and then having to confront the parents if an issue comes up.

Personally, if I were going to spend $$$$$ on dinner I'd like to be confident that I'm not going to be there on the same day as a child who can't behave (or even just a normal kid who is teething or coming down with a cold or tired --- like normal kids do!). (don't get me wrong -- I like kids, it is just that if we're at a $$$$$$$ sort of place it is because we're celebrating some super special event and want a quiet/peaceful/romantic dinner)

 

[MonkeyPie]

I've never had to deal with annoying kids like this, but I think it IS nice to be able to have a night "off" for parents to go someplace nice. I do find it interesting that someone voted no in the poll but isn't posting about it

 

[NewEnglandLady]

As a parent, I fully support a place where I can tell my kid, sorry, you'll have to stay at the door!

You know, a child-free restaurant may be more popular among parents than the child-free-by-choice crowd. I can imagine that when I'm tired and am looking for a couple of hours of peace and quiet with my husband, a nice, child-free restaurant would be perfect.

ETA: should have just dittoed you MP, but didn't see your post.

 

[AmeliaG]

This restaurant doesn't seem like it caters to an adult-only clientele though. I agree the age 6 and under restriction is rather arbitrary. What if an over 6 kid starts misbehaving?

 

[mrscushion]

I see no issue with a restaurant banning kids. In my opinion, it's no different than a couples-only resort. If a restaurant is trying to cater to an adult-only crowd, I think it's smart to market itself as a kid-free oasis.

Exactly. It's a matter of segmenting potential audiences and picking the one you'll address -- adults without (or on a break from their) children.

(Edited for grammar.)

 

[movie zombie]

their business, their rules.

i fully support the idea.

 

[manderz]

I think it's a great idea. I don't want to run the risk of ruining say, a romantic anniversary dinner because a bad parent brought their child to run a muck. I would be greatly comforted knowing that no, a child has not licked the tops of the salt and pepper shakers repeatedly while mom and dad weren't looking (yes, I've seen this more than once!). It's not like all restaurants need to have this policy, but I have no problem with some setting rules like that. It's their business, I have no place in telling someone else how to run it.

 

[mary poppins]

Some of the parents think the kid is just being outgoing and charming, and I'm a jerk because I don't go all gah gah over their DNA unit, who is the most precious wonderful gift to the world.

Just wanted to post a reply to say I like the bolded phrase.

While I'm here, I might as well answer the question. I support the policy.

 

[kenny]

Some of the parents think the kid is just being outgoing and charming, and I'm a jerk because I don't go all gah gah over their DNA unit, who is the most precious wonderful gift to the world.

Just wanted to post a reply to say I like the bolded phrase.

I really do think DNA can blind parents from seeing their own children objectively.
I've heard that humans are just disposable tools that DNA uses to make more DNA.

 

[ksinger]

Some of the parents think the kid is just being outgoing and charming, and I'm a jerk because I don't go all gah gah over their DNA unit, who is the most precious wonderful gift to the world.

Just wanted to post a reply to say I like the bolded phrase.

I really do think DNA can blind parents from seeing their own children objectively.
I've heard that humans are just disposable tools that DNA uses to make more DNA.

Timing is everything. I'm wondering if you read this before you posted Kenny. It's from July 5th. As usual, the issue is not usually with the children - a distinction that many indignant parents either miss or wilfully ignore when they accuse outsiders of hating children - but with the lack of PARENTING of said kids, and the sense of entitlement of the parents.

http://articles.cnn.com/2011-07-05/opinion/granderson.bratty.kids_1_airtran-flight-kid-free-tantrum?_s=PM:OPINION

excerpt:


If you're the kind of parent who allows your 5-year-old to run rampant in public places like restaurants, I have what could be some rather disturbing news for you.

I do not love your child.

The rest of the country does not love your child either.

And the reason why we're staring at you every other bite is not because we're acknowledging some sort of mutual understanding that kids will be kids but rather we want to kill you for letting your brat ruin our dinner.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Children shouldnt be banned from resturants. I think parents should use common sense when taking their kids out to eat. I also think those who want a quiet evening out should pick a place that children are less likely to be brought.

Dh and i love a mexican resturant which is known for being extremely loud. So loud, in fact, that dh and i often have to raise our voices to talk. Great place for kids. There was a couple there who kept giving us dirty looks...um, that is THEIR problem for picking that particular resturant. The clinking dishes were 10x louder.

 

[ksinger]

Children shouldnt be banned from resturants. I think parents should use common sense when taking their kids out to eat. I also think those who want a quiet evening out should pick a place that children are less likely to be brought.

Dh and i love a mexican resturant which is known for being extremely loud. So loud, in fact, that dh and i often have to raise our voices to talk. Great place for kids. There was a couple there who kept giving us dirty looks...um, that is THEIR problem for picking that particular resturant. The clinking dishes were 10x louder.

And it's precisely because society is now heavy on parents who are incapable of, or (oftimes belligerently) refuse to do this very thing, that restaurants are having to even consider this move. There was a time when this would not have even been an issue.

 

[Lauren8211]

Sure, why not? While I have the common sense not to take my baby to an adult type restaurant, a lot of people don't. Even though I'm about to be a parent, when I'm paying for a nice dinner, I don't want to hear your kid. Or mine! I think the people who get most up in arms about this type of rule are those who have the most annoying kids - JMHO!

 

[MonkeyPie]

Children shouldnt be banned from resturants. I think parents should use common sense when taking their kids out to eat. I also think those who want a quiet evening out should pick a place that children are less likely to be brought.

Dh and i love a mexican resturant which is known for being extremely loud. So loud, in fact, that dh and i often have to raise our voices to talk. Great place for kids. There was a couple there who kept giving us dirty looks...um, that is THEIR problem for picking that particular resturant. The clinking dishes were 10x louder.

The problem here is that not everyone considers certain places to be kid-friendly or not. Notice above that someone took their (thankfully quiet) child to a $300 a plate location and thought this was fine. So rules being put in place limits that sort of confusion.

 

[kenny]

I think more parents today than ever before feel that the best way to raise children is to impose as few restrictions on them as possible.
I once saw a parent in a supermarket reasoning with his 3 year old about their candy buying compromise.
Do they even bother correcting spelling and grammar any more, or would that hurt little Jonny's self esteem?
They see the mentality that "children should be seen but not heard" as an archaic 1950s thing.

These parents resent others interfering in their right to parent their kids as they see fit.

AFAIC that's groovy except then their DNA units are out in public.

EDIT: I'm also surprised at the near 90% response rate.
PS must have an unusual mix.
If the public was 90% yes, CNN would not have considered this controversial enough to publish.

 

[Maria D]

I don't want to deal with kids doing anything other than sitting at a table and eating/acting appropriately at any restaurant at any time. Some of the stuff I've seen clueless parents allow at kid-friendly restaurants is appalling. Just because you're at Chili's doesn't mean it's OK to walk your toddler up and down letting him point to things on others' tables. I get that he's young and restless. Eat at home. I once saw a coffee-pot toting waitress nearly trip over a kid that was running around the restaurant. It was a Friendly's (burgers and ice-cream joint) which is the perfect place to take your whole family -- but it doesn't mean you stop parenting.

I did not read the article but I would imagine they chose to restrict to six years and up because they figure that even the best behaved smaller children are going to get bored and restless at a formal restaurant. They probably figure that parents of kids older than that would know their own kids and act accordingly (ha, this could be wishful thinking!). I don't have any problem with it. In my experience, the pricier the restaurant the less likely people are to bring restless kids/fussy babies in the first place. It seems to be the kid-friendly places where some think it's OK to let their kids go wild.

 

[TravelingGal]

I don't want to deal with kids doing anything other than sitting at a table and eating/acting appropriately at any restaurant at any time. Some of the stuff I've seen clueless parents allow at kid-friendly restaurants is appalling. Just because you're at Chili's doesn't mean it's OK to walk your toddler up and down letting him point to things on others' tables. I get that he's young and restless. Eat at home. I once saw a coffee-pot toting waitress nearly trip over a kid that was running around the restaurant. It was a Friendly's (burgers and ice-cream joint) which is the perfect place to take your whole family -- but it doesn't mean you stop parenting.

I did not read the article but I would imagine they chose to restrict to six years and up because they figure that even the best behaved smaller children are going to get bored and restless at a formal restaurant. They probably figure that parents of kids older than that would know their own kids and act accordingly (ha, this could be wishful thinking!). I don't have any problem with it. In my experience, the pricier the restaurant the less likely people are to bring restless kids/fussy babies in the first place. It seems to be the kid-friendly places where some think it's OK to let their kids go wild.

Ditto! Amen! Hallelujah!

To me, kid friendly means they have a meal my kid will easily eat, and maybe if I'm lucky a few crayons and a coloring mat. It means it's a place where I can feel comfortable with my kid and teach her to sit down and properly EAT at a restaurant! I hate it when my friends and I go to a kid friendly restaurant, because they run around (mine now wonders why she's stuck sitting there), stand up and BOUNCE in booth chairs (disturbing the patrons behind us) and make a complete disaster of all condiments on the table.

We also don't let her stare at cartoons on our smartphones, but instead try to chat with her. Imagine, the horror. Don't get me wrong, I GET why parents do that...might be their one night out and they just need to have some nice adult conversation and want to occupy the kid. But I see this SO often that I figure that can't always be the case. However, it certainly keeps them quiet and sitting still in restaurants!

 

[Lanie]

I didn't vote yet, but I'd like to see what those 4 that say No would say.

Looking at the video, the restaurant is by a golf course, which means that he most likely has more clientele in the 50+ demographic, and I can see where they'd be annoyed with kids running around. The woman in that video is put off bc she has been going there for years, and that is a shame for her.

I agree with the previous poster who said "their restaurant, their rules". If I happened to stop at that restaurant, not knowing that kids were banned, and they told me at the door that I couldn't come in with my 6 month old, I'd be a little put off. I'm not going to lie. But I wouldn't raise a stink about it. That restaurant is in a mostly adult setting, so I'm sure the owner considered that the customers he might lose over this are very few.

Parents, in general, need to be more vigilent of their childrens' behavior in public. I'm too shy to call a parent out on their child's behavior if it directly annoys me (peeking under the clothing room/bathroom stalls, bumping in to me, running around and I have to dodge them, a baby crying in church but the parent doesn't remove them, etc).

 

[galeteia]

And the reason why we're staring at you every other bite is not because we're acknowledging some sort of mutual understanding that kids will be kids but rather we want to kill you for letting your brat ruin our dinner.

Well said! It never occurred to me that parents might think my glances are a sympathizing 'kids will be kids' sentiment ... instead of 'I wish you had wrapped it up instead!'

 

[PinkTower]

I agree with you. I am also surprised at the parents who allow their child to make a huge mess of the table and floor. Someone has to clean this up, and the tip probably doesn't reflect that.

 

[ksinger]

I don't want to deal with kids doing anything other than sitting at a table and eating/acting appropriately at any restaurant at any time. Some of the stuff I've seen clueless parents allow at kid-friendly restaurants is appalling. Just because you're at Chili's doesn't mean it's OK to walk your toddler up and down letting him point to things on others' tables. I get that he's young and restless. Eat at home. I once saw a coffee-pot toting waitress nearly trip over a kid that was running around the restaurant. It was a Friendly's (burgers and ice-cream joint) which is the perfect place to take your whole family -- but it doesn't mean you stop parenting.

I did not read the article but I would imagine they chose to restrict to six years and up because they figure that even the best behaved smaller children are going to get bored and restless at a formal restaurant. They probably figure that parents of kids older than that would know their own kids and act accordingly (ha, this could be wishful thinking!). I don't have any problem with it. In my experience, the pricier the restaurant the less likely people are to bring restless kids/fussy babies in the first place. It seems to be the kid-friendly places where some think it's OK to let their kids go wild.

Yes, when did "kid friendly" become synonymous with "screaming, jumping and out of control" and/or "whoopee! I am absolved of my parental duty to raise a self-controlled person rather than an animal!!" If you don't allow your children to do that at home then why on earth would you ever allow it in public? Oh...wait....

 

[Rockdiamond]

By all means a restaurant should be able to exclude young kids if that's their "niche"

Funny story- My wife, my (at the time) 1 1/2yr old and I were out with a couple who has not kids- they picked the restaurant.
If there was ever a place that should ban kids, this was it.
Incredible atmosphere- soft lighting.
As I was standing by the door, holding my little guy, thinking, man this is NOT a place for kids, I accidentally leaned on a light switch and turned on the main overhead lights. Went from soft smooth lighting to BRIGHT
You never heard such a loud room go completely silent in an instant- and of course it seemed every eye in the place was on me and my kid.
We ended up ordering a $500 meal for four, to go........

 

[AmeliaG]

Times have changed. As a child, I never set foot in a restaurant that my father didn't want me to be at and when we had a family celebration at one, it was such a special treat, I knew I had to behave. I may have gone to a restaurant before I was six but my parents went out a lot of times without us when they wanted to be alone.

Now, I'm hearing from every young parent my age, you can't get babysitters for love or money. Babysitters are what my parents had so they only took us out when they wanted to take us. When they wanted to go out alone, they left us with a babysitter and willingly paid the extra cost.

Yeah, as a single woman, it pisses me off when a parent can't or won't control a child. We just pick a time or restaurant when kids are not likely to be there.

I don't think setting an arbitrary age limit is going to going to make a restaurant misbehavior-proof unless its really an adult age limit (and even then maybe not).

 

[Amber St. Clare]

We would probably frequent that restaurant MORE because of this policy. As it is, when we are being seated I always ask to be seated as far away from small children as possible. That comes from years of working with grammar school students who DID NOT want reading assistance. Our local diner's hostesses automatically seat us as far away from young'uns as possible and don't seat kids near us. {We are very good 20+ year customers}

As for "The Look"--my son is 25 and has told me that it still works. Thank God I don't have to use to too often, he's gotten very selective about what he tells me.