Should kids get R&R days?

[D&T]

not for my kids, when they start school, they have enough R&R when they get home

but I would definitely pull them out for family vacation and trips though.

 

[D&T]

Date: 5/13/2009 4:27:35 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Not a chance. School is a child''s job, and unless they are sick they need to be present every day. Sometimes, when I hear things like this, I think we''re devolving as a society. We all need time to work and time to play, it''s pretty simple, for kids work is school M-F and homework, play time is the weekend and when after school when homework is done. Kids need structure, love, and discipline far more than they need time to ''rejuvinate.''

An aside, that pertains to why I feel so strongly about this: I teach students that struggle and my students had a large report due to their teachers yesterday; one of my kids actually looked me in the eye and said he didn''t complete the report (that he had been recieving extra help on in school for three weeks) because he went to Disneyland on Monday, instead of school, and didn''t have time to finish it. I am devestated that his parents felt a trip to Disneyland was more important than him finishing the largest classroom assignment of the year.

I would have my kids finish their assignment or help them complete it before we left.

 

[VegasAngel]

Kids definitely do get more time off school than they would get if they were working. I don''t think a child in elementary or middle school needs a free day but a high school kid yes, maybe.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/13/2009 4:27:35 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Not a chance. School is a child''s job, and unless they are sick they need to be present every day. Sometimes, when I hear things like this, I think we''re devolving as a society. We all need time to work and time to play, it''s pretty simple, for kids work is school M-F and homework, play time is the weekend and when after school when homework is done. Kids need structure, love, and discipline far more than they need time to ''rejuvinate.''

An aside, that pertains to why I feel so strongly about this: I teach students that struggle and my students had a large report due to their teachers yesterday; one of my kids actually looked me in the eye and said he didn''t complete the report (that he had been recieving extra help on in school for three weeks) because he went to Disneyland on Monday, instead of school, and didn''t have time to finish it. I am devestated that his parents felt a trip to Disneyland was more important than him finishing the largest classroom assignment of the year.

I hope you flunked him.

Aned you''re right Kimberly...this is why we are devolving as a society and turning out whiny spoiled brats with no grounding in reality.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/13/2009 4:31:11 PM
Author: D&T

Date: 5/13/2009 4:27:35 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Not a chance. School is a child''s job, and unless they are sick they need to be present every day. Sometimes, when I hear things like this, I think we''re devolving as a society. We all need time to work and time to play, it''s pretty simple, for kids work is school M-F and homework, play time is the weekend and when after school when homework is done. Kids need structure, love, and discipline far more than they need time to ''rejuvinate.''

An aside, that pertains to why I feel so strongly about this: I teach students that struggle and my students had a large report due to their teachers yesterday; one of my kids actually looked me in the eye and said he didn''t complete the report (that he had been recieving extra help on in school for three weeks) because he went to Disneyland on Monday, instead of school, and didn''t have time to finish it. I am devestated that his parents felt a trip to Disneyland was more important than him finishing the largest classroom assignment of the year.

I would have my kids finish their assignment or help them complete it before we left.

D&T, Disneyland is 1.5 hours away from us, on a bad day, they should have gone on the weekend, or when school gets out in less than a month. As a teacher I feel very strongly that children need to be in school every day unless they are sick or there is a major family emergency. There is plenty of time off between summer vacation, winter break, the week off in Feb., and spring break, and the many three day weekends given to travel an d spend time as a family.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/13/2009 4:34:04 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/13/2009 4:27:35 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Not a chance. School is a child''s job, and unless they are sick they need to be present every day. Sometimes, when I hear things like this, I think we''re devolving as a society. We all need time to work and time to play, it''s pretty simple, for kids work is school M-F and homework, play time is the weekend and when after school when homework is done. Kids need structure, love, and discipline far more than they need time to ''rejuvinate.''

An aside, that pertains to why I feel so strongly about this: I teach students that struggle and my students had a large report due to their teachers yesterday; one of my kids actually looked me in the eye and said he didn''t complete the report (that he had been recieving extra help on in school for three weeks) because he went to Disneyland on Monday, instead of school, and didn''t have time to finish it. I am devestated that his parents felt a trip to Disneyland was more important than him finishing the largest classroom assignment of the year.

I hope you flunked him.

Aned you''re right Kimberly...this is why we are devolving as a society and turning out whiny spoiled brats with no grounding in reality.

Unfortunately I am not the one who grades their writing work; my job is to help the writing kids who struggle, but the final product is given to their teacher. I would have started docking 10% off the top of the grade every day until the assignment was complete.

You would have been amazed, 9 students out of 95 walked into school without a finished project. I was stunned.

 

[TravelingGal]

Kimberly, it amazes me that things still amaze me. I shouldn''t be surprised.

 

[zoebartlett]

I think that letting them do that sends the wrong message. We JUST returned from spring break at my school, and we're already having several parents write to us and let us know that they're going away for a few days. WHAT?! Seriously?! That drives me nuts. It basically shows kids that it's okay to skip school, and I don't think that's the best idea. It's really bad when you have a kid who can't afford to miss school academically, yet they're pulled out for a week to go to Disney World.

ETA: I talk to my kids (students) about school and I tell them that it's their job to learn and do the best they can. That can't happen if they're pulled out for no reason.

MC -- I'm sure your kids can get plenty of alone time with you and/or your husband without missing school. Weekends, holidays, vacation days, after school, after dinner...

 

[iluvcarats]

Maybe I am on the stricter side, but when my kids complain about school, I say "I am sure Daddy didn''t want to get up at 5am, but it his his job and responsibility, and going to school is yours"

The real world isn''t about R&R, and I remind my kids that there are children all over the world who wish that they could go to school but aren''t lucky enough to.

This is not directed at the op, but I think in general it is a HUGE parenting mistake to want to be your child''s friend. They need parents who set rules and limits and who have expectations of them.

 

[D&T]

Kimberly, I don''t disagree from your Educator standpoint, I mean a family vacation for us, is where we would have to drive for over 7 hours to get to our destination or 12 depending on where we end up living when my kids are in school. I only missed 5 days of elementary school and never did my parents dragged me out for family vacations (although I wished they had at times) I see other kids that do equally well and been taken out missed a few days here and there, but a mere miss days here and there just to stay home is something I disagree with. Yes, if you live that close to disneyland, then why not go on the weekends- agreed.

 

[bee*]

There is no way I would let my child have R&R days. As others have said, school is a child''s job as it were, and they should be there M-F. If they want to spend time with me by themselves, I would have the other child go out with dad for the day or go to a friend''s house.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

My son hasn''t asked for R&R days! lol I''m just asking about the concept. Like I said, he''s only missed two days the entire year and both were sometime after Jan.

Camille - I have to say that I pay for my son''s full-day kindergarten. Even though he''s in public school, I paid $3,000 for him to be in full-day instead of part-day! I know that the district has cut funding and all that, however, I did shell out a portion of extra money beyond tax dollars. . Since it''s so close to the end of the year, the "fun day" thought crossed my mind. lol

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/13/2009 2:24:55 PM
Author: TravelingGal

I''m still laughing over all this. ''Rejuvenate?'' Like that kid is going to tell you at the end of the day ''ah...thanks for that, I feel so refreshed to have this alone time?'' He''s just going to be happy he didn''t have to go to school and learn.

lol Maybe I''m projecting *my* need to rejuvenate onto him!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/13/2009 2:52:32 PM
Author: lucyandroger

Date: 5/13/2009 2:42:38 PM
Author: iluvcarats

Date: 5/13/2009 2:39:21 PM
Author: lucyandroger
Well, I''m going to jump in here and say that it depends on the child. My SO and I are both ivy league educated attorneys - so we made it through the school thing just fine and each of us were allowed R&R days (a couple a year - after a big paper was due or to recover from jet lag). I do not think it teaches a child to be lazy. Afterall, don''t most jobs allow a few personal days a year?


That being said, you have to know the reason behind wanting the day off. Honesty is key because you don''t want the child purposely trying to skip a test or if something is wrong at school, you want to know. Our moms much preferred us saying ''hey, can I have the day off today because I''m just mentally exhausted'' rather than **cough, cough** ''I''m sick.''


However, there are definitely children for whom this would be a BAD idea. You have to know your child.

I think there is a big difference between high school and elementary school. I think it is a very bad habit to establish this in elementary school. High school is different.

That''s true. Elementary is different from high school.

I have to say that I would still hear my child out and see if they had a valid reason for wanting to stay home. Although my guess is that if they''re asking for R&R from elementary school, there is something wrong (bullying, teacher issues, etc.) that needs to be addressed.

There''s nothing that needs to be "addressed." His teacher is wonderful and he loves her. He''s not being bullied. I was the one who thought the idea up!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/13/2009 5:26:03 PM
Author: MC
My son hasn''t asked for R&R days! lol I''m just asking about the concept. Like I said, he''s only missed two days the entire year and both were sometime after Jan.

Camille - I have to say that I pay for my son''s full-day kindergarten. Even though he''s in public school, I paid $3,000 for him to be in full-day instead of part-day! I know that the district has cut funding and all that, however, I did shell out a portion of extra money beyond tax dollars. . Since it''s so close to the end of the year, the ''fun day'' thought crossed my mind. lol

MC, if your son isn''t asking for them, then do yourself a favor and don''t offer! Because apparently he is doing just fine and is having his "fun day" at SCHOOL.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Fiery - they don''t complain, but they bicker so I can tell they''re getting on each other''s nerves. They each have their own rooms but always follow each other around the house so they don''t get alone time as much as I would think they should get. And, they would NOT play video games. We don''t even own a playstation, Wii, or any of those things. The only games are on the computer and they''re only allowed to play on Fri & Sat night and on holidays. We''re very strict about that!

Kimberly - I agree that a child should NOT go to Disneyland when they should be finishing up the largest assignment of the year, however, most adults who work do take vacations from work now and then. If a child is to look at school as "a job," shouldn''t that grant them the occasional day off? FWIW, quite a few families we know take week long vacations from school and I would NEVER do that. I''m not advocating a child go to Florida and lay out in the sun for a week rather than go to school.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/13/2009 5:28:06 PM
Author: TravelingGal
MC, if your son isn''t asking for them, then do yourself a favor and don''t offer! Because apparently he is doing just fine and is having his ''fun day'' at SCHOOL.

Okay! I was gone for a few hours here and didn''t expect to find so many responses when I got back! lol

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/13/2009 5:33:46 PM
Author: MC
Fiery - they don''t complain, but they bicker so I can tell they''re getting on each other''s nerves. They each have their own rooms but always follow each other around the house so they don''t get alone time as much as I would think they should get. And, they would NOT play video games. We don''t even own a playstation, Wii, or any of those things. The only games are on the computer and they''re only allowed to play on Fri & Sat night and on holidays. We''re very strict about that!

Kimberly - I agree that a child should NOT go to Disneyland when they should be finishing up the largest assignment of the year, however, most adults who work do take vacations from work now and then. If a child is to look at school as ''a job,'' shouldn''t that grant them the occasional day off? FWIW, quite a few families we know take week long vacations from school and I would NEVER do that. I''m not advocating a child go to Florida and lay out in the sun for a week rather than go to school.

LOL, consider yourself lucky! When my brother and I got in each other nerves, we''d throw things at each other. OK, *I''d* throw things at HIM, but I''ve since gotten my temper under control.

Lucky for both of us, I was a terrible shot.

 

[Shoopy]

If they''re following each other around, chances are they enjoy each other''s company even if they rather eat worms or whatever it is that boys do before admitting it

 

[basil]

I wouldn''t. I think that kids whose parents allow them to take "R&R" days turn into adults who feel entitled to these days as well.

My parents never let us do this. But ironically, they did arrange some vacations for us during school time. Once, in 4th grade, they found a very cheap plane fare and sent me off to my grandparents'' house in Florida for a week. Another time, in 8th grade, my dad had a conference in Colorado and the two of us went skiing for a week. My brother missed a similar amount of school for vacations with my dad or grandparents without me.

Honestly, the vacations without the rest of the family were pretty cool, and I have a lot of good memories of my one-on-one time with my grandparents (who are now gone). Which I wouldn''t have had if I had stayed in 4th grade, and only seen them when the other 8 grandchildren were around. Similar experience with the ski trip.

I guess I do believe that you''re only a kid once, so you should help your kid take advantage of that. I don''t think that R&R days are a good use of that, cause it implies that they are just going to sit home and veg. But if there is something that you think will be more memorable or educational or historic than a day of multiplication tables, I would pull my kid out of school for that.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I was on the phone with a friend of mine who has 3 boys who are all school age. FWIW, she lives in an affluent area and her children attend one of the best school districts in IL. I mentioned the topic of this thread, and she told me that in the beginning of the school year her childrens elementary school actually sent home a note asking (in a telling tone

) that children not be pulled from school for reasons other than being ill.

 

[TravelingGal]

Seriously, isn''t 2.5 months in the summer and 2 weeks in winter enough to schedule something? I am not surprised this is something that happens in more affluent areas though....

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/13/2009 6:51:12 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 5/13/2009 6:42:09 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Seriously, isn''t 2.5 months in the summer and 2 weeks in winter enough to schedule something? I am not surprised this is something that happens in more affluent areas though....

Our kids here are out the beginning of June, begin school again in August.. have 2 weeks at Christmas, 2 weeks in spring and my step daughter gets a week in the early part of the year about a month after Christmas holiday break with a week off at Thanksgiving.. its insane. I dont ever remember having so much time off for holidays or breaks!!!

REALLY???? 2 weeks for spring too?

And people are pulling their kids out of school for vacation? Wow.

 

[Haven]

I don''t really know what to think about this question, but I have enjoyed reading this thread.

In general, I think stress is a bad thing and we should try to live our lives in a way that reduces stress as much as possible. (And, of course, maximizes good things like joy and whatnot.)

All I can say is that if I had a child who needed R&R, my first concern would be his health. Then, my next concern would be to take a good look at whether our lifestyle was in sync with our priorities, and to make adjustments accordingly.

That being said, I have yet to meet a high school student who is in danger of needing some serious R&R. And I know a lot of high school students.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/13/2009 5:33:46 PM
Author: MC

Kimberly - I agree that a child should NOT go to Disneyland when they should be finishing up the largest assignment of the year, however, most adults who work do take vacations from work now and then. If a child is to look at school as ''a job,'' shouldn''t that grant them the occasional day off? FWIW, quite a few families we know take week long vacations from school and I would NEVER do that. I''m not advocating a child go to Florida and lay out in the sun for a week rather than go to school.

Those occasional days off are already built into their schedule, they would be teacher inservice days, winter break, spring break, the week many students get off in February, and summer. Employees typically get 2-3 weeks paid vacation a year plus some sick time (as a teacher I am far more than lucky for the number of days I have off, and I teach summer school), it is the time built into their schedules to do what they want/need to.

TGal, here is a list of no student days in my district this year (school started August 19th and ends June 11th):

Sept. 1 (Labor Day)
Sept. 29 (Pro Growth)
Oct. 30 - 31 (Conferences)
Nov. 11 (Veterans Day)
Nov. 24 - 28 (Thanksgiving Break)
Dec. 22 - Jan. 2 (Winter Break)
Jan. 20 - 21 (Semester Break)
Feb. 16 - 20 (President''s Day/District Break)
Mar. 31 (Cesar Chavez Day)
Apr. 6 -10 (Spring Holiday)
May 25 (Memorial Day)

So during the 10 month school year our students have 34 days off and then a 10 week summer break. Schools must be in session 180 days a year according to CA state law.

 

[basil]

Would people feel as strongly if someone pulled their kid out of school for another reason?

- to go to a historic event (inauguration, famous speaker, etc.)
- to experience a work environment ("take your daughter to work" day, to shadow a professional that the child wanted to be)
- to get one-on-one time with a family member which would otherwise be difficult/impossible during scheduled vacations or weekends
- to go to a place/vacation one otherwise couldn''t go on

I''m not a parent, but I feel like I wouldn''t want to teach my kid that skipping stuff because you feel like it is ok. But I would want to balance that with the best possible life experience for my kid. And I can''t say that I believe that is always in school, every day. My first reaction when I read the OP was "heck no" but the more I think about it, the more I think that I could''ve missed a few more days of school and been just fine...

 

[icekid]

Date: 5/13/2009 5:43:15 PM
Author: fieryred33143
If they''re following each other around, chances are they enjoy each other''s company even if they rather eat worms or whatever it is that boys do before admitting it

This is what I am thinking too, fiery. Sounds like the boys don''t need a break from each other. And if they do, why not on a weekend?

Skipping school for kicks in 1st grade just does not make any sense to me. I would not condone it!

 

[E B]

Date: 5/13/2009 7:39:04 PM
Author: KimberlyH

TGal, here is a list of no student days in my district this year (school started August 19th and ends June 11th):

Wow! Not a single month without at least one day off.

Date: 5/13/2009 7:59:22 PM
Author: icekid

Skipping school for kicks in 1st grade just does not make any sense to me. I would not condone it!

I agree. I can see a high school student needing a few days of R&R during stressful periods (I know I did!), but a six-year-old?

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/13/2009 7:54:28 PM
Author: basil
Would people feel as strongly if someone pulled their kid out of school for another reason?

- to go to a historic event (inauguration, famous speaker, etc.)
- to experience a work environment (''take your daughter to work'' day, to shadow a professional that the child wanted to be)
- to get one-on-one time with a family member which would otherwise be difficult/impossible during scheduled vacations or weekends
- to go to a place/vacation one otherwise couldn''t go on

I''m not a parent, but I feel like I wouldn''t want to teach my kid that skipping stuff because you feel like it is ok. But I would want to balance that with the best possible life experience for my kid. And I can''t say that I believe that is always in school, every day. My first reaction when I read the OP was ''heck no'' but the more I think about it, the more I think that I could''ve missed a few more days of school and been just fine...

Basil,

I take no issue with the first two as they are educational.

The others are not valid reasons to take days off, in my opinion, especially not a young child. There is no one I can think of that a child couldn''t spend one-on-one time with during the time they are not in school and vacation is not a valid reason to skip school when vacations are already scheduled throughout the year. There is enough time off throughout the year that families can use to schedule vacations and such.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 5/13/2009 7:39:04 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Those occasional days off are already built into their schedule, they would be teacher inservice days, winter break, spring break, the week many students get off in February, and summer. Employees typically get 2-3 weeks paid vacation a year plus some sick time (as a teacher I am far more than lucky for the number of days I have off, and I teach summer school), it is the time built into their schedules to do what they want/need to.

TGal, here is a list of no student days in my district this year (school started August 19th and ends June 11th):

Sept. 1 (Labor Day)
Sept. 29 (Pro Growth)
Oct. 30 - 31 (Conferences)
Nov. 11 (Veterans Day)
Nov. 24 - 28 (Thanksgiving Break)
Dec. 22 - Jan. 2 (Winter Break)
Jan. 20 - 21 (Semester Break)
Feb. 16 - 20 (President''s Day/District Break)
Mar. 31 (Cesar Chavez Day)
Apr. 6 -10 (Spring Holiday)
May 25 (Memorial Day)

So during the 10 month school year our students have 34 days off and then a 10 week summer break. Schools must be in session 180 days a year according to CA state law.

Yep, that''s the way I remember it. It felt like every single month I was putting my son back in day care because school was "out" for something or another and I worked.