Should I downgrade?

[liaerfbv]

I have a 8.2mm OEC in a halo setting which I adore. However, my ring is fairly large for my area and I find myself leaving it at home quite frequently, or turning it around on my finger when I go out. I have been contemplating selling my ring and starting over - either with a blingy band or maybe a cluster ring? DH loves my ring and doesn't want me to make any changes, but is fine with whatever I decide to do. When I reset last year, I thought I was done forever. I love the hand presence, and I love having a large diamond, but I'm not sure it fits in with my life. I do know I would not get a smaller solitaire or center stone but would either get some kind of 5 stone band, large eternity, cluster ring, etc. Has anyone downgraded and regretted it? Been pleased? Please weigh in!

 

[junebug17]

Lia, when I saw the title of your thread I yelled "NO!!!" Your ring looks so gorgeous on your hand - but as I read your post, it does seem like you are self-conscious to the point of not enjoying it - not wearing it, turning it around etc. If you are feeling that uncomfortable with it, maybe it does make sense to switch to something you want to wear and will enjoy more. You originally had your stone set in a solitaire - would you be more comfortable returning to that style? A halo does add a lot of hand presence and attracts attention.A blingy eternity band sounds like a good alternative too. (although, keep in mind, anything big and blingy is going to get noticed!)

There have been several people on PS that have downgraded, so you are certainly not alone. Comfort level is an important factor in deciding on what works for us. As much as I love your ring and wish you were happy with it, it's how you feel that matters the most!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I downgraded. I sold my 1.66ct modern RB back in 2011 when the prices sky rocketed and recouped what I spent. Then I looked for something more modestly priced -- I was looking to downgrade price not size specifically. I don't regret selling that diamond because it was not my ideal stone/setting combination. But... within two years I had bought an even bigger diamond solitaire Does that tell you anything? I tried many many things in between -- bling band, three stone, smaller solitaires. Nothing scratched my itch for a large solitaire.

So I do not recommend downgrading!

Now that I have my big solitaire, though, I recently bought a vintage five stone ring and adore that AS WELL. I can wear it when I want a more low key look.

So rather than downgrading I suggest you buy a five stone in addition to your current ring. Your tastes about size and your feelings of social comparison will change as you age, most likely. So don't sell now only to regret it and have to buy a larger diamond later when prices are higher.

 

[kenny]

I can relate.
I wore a 2.26 ct rock for years, but now feel my 1.5 ct is just right.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I just looked up your ring. It is an heirloom quality masterpiece and an exceptionally rare old cut in terms of the proportions and optics, which are really ideal. I think it would be a huge mistake to sell that piece!

 

[baby monster]

Your ring is so gorgeous but I understand how you can feel uncomfortable wearing it out. Halos add a lot of attention grabbing power. Would you reset back into solitaire setting to keep the stone or would that be just not enough?

If you want to switch completely, my preference is for blingy eternity because my rings spin a lot so 5 stone would always be upside down.

FWIW, I'm thinking through an upgrade from 8.5mm to 9-9.2mm stone so this thread is very interesting to me.

 

[momhappy]

I just looked up your ring. It is an heirloom quality masterpiece and an exceptionally rare old cut in terms of the proportions and optics, which are really ideal. I think it would be a huge mistake to sell that piece!

It's not a mistake to sell something that you're not comfortable wearing. Yes, its a gorgeous ring, but that doesn't mean that its a good fit for OP.
Shop around, sleep on it for a while, and then decide, OP. Best of luck

 

[rainydaze]

I wouldn't say I downgraded per se, but I went through a process that involved setting my 1ct princess into a heavy, elaborate, hand-engraved halo setting. Like you, I found myself not always wanting to wear it, or turning it around. It was gorgeous and it got a fair amount of notice and compliments. But something about it inhibited me. I stuck with it for a year and still felt uncomfortable.

So, I switched to a 1.3ct higher color OEC in a unique but simpler setting. Although the diamond itself is an upgrade, the whole package has less presence. It has garnered a couple of compliments, but not like the other ring. However, I am much happier wearing this one as it is both physically and mentally more comfortable to me.

All that said, I looked up your ring and dang! It's a beauty! My princess center stone was not well cut which made it easy to give up. Your center and setting are both just beautiful! While I can relate to your discomfort, I do find myself hoping Dreamer's advice (about feelings changing as you age) would come true. I think it's a really good suggestion to go for a sparkly band *in addition* to your ring so you can switch it up according to your mood. If you do that, and find your halo sits unworn for a couple of years, you can always sell it then.

 

[liaerfbv]

Thanks for all of the kind words and thoughts! I have contemplated getting an alternate e-ring, but I'm not sure if DH would go for that. It's also hard to think about using the bling fund for another piece for my left hand when there are so many other body parts to decorate! I've finally accepted that I do not wear RHRs, so if I did buy another ring it would solely be an alternate e-ring.

I am struggling with this because I do realize my ring is a very special piece. The stone is perfect, the setting is perfect, it looks perfect on my hand with all of my bands - there really is no downside for me other than the fact that I leave it at home at least 3-5 days a week. I work in a large corporate office and am surrounded by women wearing .5-1.0ct rings, so my ring is enormous by comparison, and is actually larger than most of the rings of the people I work for, which makes me uncomfortable. I wish I didn't care.

I am worried that I would regret selling it because I know there's no way I will ever find a stone like this again, but then I think what's the point of owning perfection if it lives in my jewelry box? Maybe I will "age into" the size of my ring. I appreciate all of the insight and food for thought you all have given me! I'm definitely not going to make a decision anytime soon because I want to be 100% no matter what I do!

 

[angeline]

I downgraded from a 2.2ct E VS2 to a three stone of 1.2ct with .5ct sides, partly because of what you are struggling with, partly because my dh had always wanted me to have a three stone, and partly because I could put a chunk o' change back in the bank.

Now I regret it, almost daily, because I will never be able to replace that with the way prices are. Sounds like your diamond is even MORE irreplaceable because of age, rarity of cut etc. Mine was just an ole MRB.

So I vote don't do it. Save for the blingy eternity. Wear a band when you're not comfortable wearing the rock. Try to wear it more. A couple of years down the track and now I feel completely comfortable wearing what I want. Sigh... I miss that perfect rock..

But of course you may not miss it. People vary as kenny always says. So this is just what happened in my situation. So that's not really a lot of help is it.. Good luck with the decision!

 

[distracts]

If you're not wearing your ring 3-5 days a week, that means you ARE wearing it 2-4 days a week. I mean, I love my ring and have never thought about changing it, but I probably wear it less than that. (Of course, I am NOT a "one ring to rule them all" type, so maybe it's different? I just wear whatever I think about jamming on my finger before I leave the house. Sometimes it's my wedding set... sometimes it's something different... sometimes it's nothing at all.)

but then I think what's the point of owning perfection if it lives in my jewelry box?

Uh, the point is that you can take out the perfection and admire it up close whenever you want!

 

[Bonfire]

I just looked up your ring, and it is spectacular! You also said in your post, how every time you look at it, it makes you happy.
The feelings you are having may be fleeting. Our moods change all the time, but I don't think you should do anything drastic.
Maybe put it away for awhile and wear one of your simpler bands. Give yourself some time with a decision like this, as you may regret it down the road. My best piece of advice is, don't compare yourself to others or allow yourself to feel self conscious or judged by others because of your ring.
If it brings joy to you and your DH, rock that bling!

 

[starryeyed]

I am struggling with this because I do realize my ring is a very special piece. The stone is perfect, the setting is perfect, it looks perfect on my hand with all of my bands - there really is no downside for me other than the fact that I leave it at home at least 3-5 days a week. I work in a large corporate office and am surrounded by women wearing .5-1.0ct rings, so my ring is enormous by comparison, and is actually larger than most of the rings of the people I work for, which makes me uncomfortable. I wish I didn't care.

I can understand your discomfort, but just leave the ring at home when you go to work. I'm not sure why that's a big deal? Put it in a home safe, have good insurance.

You are smart to not wear it to work. Some people may be jealous. Maybe a boss might think you really don't need that raise. I don't know your situation, but maybe too big a stone sends the message that if you get pregnant, you'll be gone because your DH can afford it. All unnecessary drama. That said, you don't have to conform so much that you give up a ring you love. Jobs come and go. If you downsize a ring to "fit in", and then get another job or even relocate, then what? Seems short-sighted.

Now if you don't love your ring anymore, that's a different story.

Bonfire has given you GREAT advice. Very well-said.

 

[lorrissey]

...

Now that I have my big solitaire, though, I recently bought a vintage five stone ring and adore that AS WELL. I can wear it when I want a more low key look.

So rather than downgrading I suggest you buy a five stone in addition to your current ring. Your tastes about size and your feelings of social comparison will change as you age, most likely. So don't sell now only to regret it and have to buy a larger diamond later when prices are higher.

I totally agree... you can find some modestly priced 5-stones both modern and antique. I would get one in addition to, but not as a replacement.

 

[arkieb1]

I love my jewellery but the reality is I wear it about as frequently as you do, because I garden, have lots of dogs and smack my hands around a lot and it is impractical to wear it for most of the things a do with my hands....... I still really like it having said that. If you love it I'd keep it, buy some sort of band or antique band or cluster ring that you also love and wear it on the days when you don't want to wear the larger diamond.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I also do not like to wear rings on my right hand, and because I prefer my gems in rings I can see, it means that if I get more than one ring it is an alternative e-ring!

I does feel "wasteful" in a way. I have waxed poetic on that topic many times here on PS. But I just got a five stone and it will be an alternative e-ring and that is a-ok with me! Even if you only pull out the lovely halo on special occasions and date nights and other times, that does not make it any less wonderful to own and love and enjoy. I think distracts hit the nail on the head there -- 2-4 days a week of wear is pretty good. And maybe you would not feel bad about that if the times it is OFF you have another different but equally loved piece ON

 

[Bailey_Lou]

Your ring is gorgeous as you know, but more importantly you love it. It's too bad that you can't wear it because you feel uncomfortable at this point. But maybe with some time you'll get used to the bling and people that stare. By the way, I feel that it is a bit crass when people stare or make judgments of others because of your jewelry especially at work (shouldn't you be working and not judging others?) Sometimes I feel guilty because I'll see a woman with an exceptional piece like yours and I want to look closer but just because it's so pretty. I think you should do what makes you happy but perhaps give it a little time so you can mull over what the best options are before making any changes. It's so darn pretty- the setting is perfect and your diamond is TDF. Rock it girl.

 

[junebug17]

This thread made me realize I don't wear my ring all the time either! I like the idea of an alternate cluster ering or band. There are still times you can wear and enjoy your ring - weekends, going out to dinner and other non-work occasions. It would be a shame for you to sell your beautiful ring that you love so much, especially since I think as time goes by you'll "grow" into it and wear it more often than you do now.

 

[Laila619]

I did this. I sold or got rid of everything except my diamond band. I lurve it and have no regrets! It's sparkly, blingy, and easy to wear. And it's cheap enough that I don't need to insure it so I love saving money by not having a pricey jewelry premium. At one point, I was paying over $200 a year. However, I have two kids, and soon will have four under age 4, so large diamonds and pave settings aren't right for my lifestyle and I don't regret my decision. Will you really miss your ring if you got rid of it?

 

[distracts]

I did this. I sold or got rid of everything except my diamond band. I lurve it and have no regrets! It's sparkly, blingy, and easy to wear. And it's cheap enough that I don't need to insure it so I love saving money by not having a pricey jewelry premium. At one point, I was paying over $200 a year. However, I have two kids, and soon will have four under age 4, so large diamonds and pave settings aren't right for my lifestyle and I don't regret my decision. Will you really miss your ring if you got rid of it?

When did you sell the Blue Nile rings??

 

[LaraOnline]

I would buy a long chain, say 24 inch, and wear the ring as a pendant.

 

[marcy]

That's a tough call. You love your ring but if you don't feel comfortable wearing it maybe you can find something you both love and will wear everyday. What would be ideal is getting an additional ring and keeping your current ring. Good luck figuring out what you want to do.

 

[TC1987]

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/long-overdue-erd-reset.194337/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/long-overdue-erd-reset.194337/[/URL]
^That ring? No, I do not recommend selling it. It's gorgeous. It's not overly large, by my standards, LOL. Your life can change, your location may change. I'd keep the ring for "later."

I live in a small town. Nobody here has big rings except for a few notable exceptions. White metals just hit the local scene about 4 years ago, seriously. It's not a jewelry town. Halos are not seen much, and I never have seen more than 2 stunning large diamonds in the past 7 years here. I have a couple of big diamonds, and they are too much for this town, so I get what your issue is. Here is what I did: Went to a local store that buys/sells used and estate jewelry, and I picked out a .8ct J VS-something that is old, not ideal cut, but still pretty, is 6mm diameter so it's still "big" but not so large that it's out of place in a small town. That .8 in a solitaire setting is my daily wear ring, and I wear the larger rings occasionally. Or wear them around the house. I paid less than $1100 for that .8ct in the mounting, and even though it has no report, I think that was a decent deal considering that it's not a tiny diamond. Performance is good enough, and the diamond has a lot of brilliance in office lighting even if it lacks the fire of the modern H&A. That "silvery" anti-fire cutting style must have been popular after the OEC went out of style. The make changed to large table, low crown, spready buy shallow diamond, not much fire, almost like the opposite of the OEC/OMC personalities.

 

[nala]

I haven't downgraded but I wanted to chime in that I work in a similar environment as you and that I wouldn't dream of downgrading. I loooovee my ring and most importantly, there are not a lot of diamond connoisseurs out there who realize what I am wearing. Sometimes in PS, we assume that everyone knows as much as we do about diamonds, or that they care. But that is not the case. I happily wear my Rolex and diamond ring and diamond pendant and I can honestly say that I doubt anyone realizes how valuable these are. Before PS, I assumed everyone paid a couple of thousand for their e-rings. I used to focus on the settings and had no clue that a diamond was sold loose and mounted on designer settings! Seriously! I knew so little about diamonds bc I didn't care for them. So that is why I would never downgrade, even though I think we are in similar situations.

 

[LLJsmom]

I downgraded. I sold my 1.66ct modern RB back in 2011 when the prices sky rocketed and recouped what I spent. Then I looked for something more modestly priced -- I was looking to downgrade price not size specifically. I don't regret selling that diamond because it was not my ideal stone/setting combination. But... within two years I had bought an even bigger diamond solitaire Does that tell you anything? I tried many many things in between -- bling band, three stone, smaller solitaires. Nothing scratched my itch for a large solitaire.

So I do not recommend downgrading!

Now that I have my big solitaire, though, I recently bought a vintage five stone ring and adore that AS WELL. I can wear it when I want a more low key look.

So rather than downgrading I suggest you buy a five stone in addition to your current ring. Your tastes about size and your feelings of social comparison will change as you age, most likely. So don't sell now only to regret it and have to buy a larger diamond later when prices are higher.

THIS!!

 

[lknvrb4]

I know exactly what you mean. I live in an area where most have under a carat for engagement rings and now that I reset my diamond in my halo, it gets noticed almost all the time. I have that insecure feeling for a moment when people ask to see my hand but then I feel proud because I do have a beautiful ring and that is nothing to be ashamed or insecure about. I would keep your beautiful ring and wear it on the weekends if it makes you more comfortable. You can easily get a really nice five stone on ebay for not much to wear to work for a more toned down look.

 

[liaerfbv]

I'm really surprised by the amount of people who don't wear their rings everyday! Everyone I know wears their rings everyday no matter what. I've actually had to lecture a few people about damaging jewelry during various activities.

I'm hearing a lot of votes for an alternate e-ring, and I may discuss this with DH. I definitely still love my ring and would be very sad to not own it anymore - but I've been feeling guilty about it living inside. Maybe I should try to let that go! I also am definitely sure I don't want to regret selling it, because I know it's irreplaceable.

This community is so great for working out jewelry woes (first world problems, right!).

 

[mandasand]

I would not downgrade - wear it and enjoy it! I would not stack it though, like you showed in your SMTB thread - just wear it alone or with a 1.5 mm band.

I wear my antique ring every time I leave the house but take it off when I'm at home. I sort of consider myself lucky I have this ring so I enjoy wearing it. My ring is very delicate and my jeweler said I can probably get 10 years out of it before major repairs have to be made again (it's from the 1920-30s). My goal would be to have the setting recreated and get a larger OEC in 10 years.

 

[OoohShiny]

I am with what appears to be the majority - don't sell it, keep it, and if you only wear it round the house or for special occasions, so be it!

If it makes you smile inside every time you wear it and look down at it, I would not let that feeling go. We shouldn't let others' judgements of us dictate how we live and what we do, but we as human beings do seem to pander to others' demands so that we are accepted by the wider group - human nature, I guess!

I would keep it safe at home and buy a smaller, c.1ct stone in a simple setting for work - depending on your budget you could either buy 'cheap' and go pre-loved, or you could splash out a bit and go for a super-ideal cut that still looked the best it could. If / when you move jobs / get promoted / move away to somewhere less judgemental, you can wear the big ring everyday and just buy another, matching stone to go with the smaller one and create a lovely set of studs!

 

[swingirl]

Just to chine in about everyday jewelry. I don't wear my ring everyday. I never wear it to work. I wear it more like a cocktail ring—out to dinner, family functions, dress-up events. I wore my original ering non-stop when I was first married. I wore it until I bent it so badly the stone was ready to fall out. Now my upgrade stays safe in my jewelry box and comes out for special occasions. But I LOVE wearing it on those special occasions!!!!