shape
carat
color
clarity

Seeking Advice on Choosing a Graff Engagement Ring

Please all remember that face up a better cut can make a big difference.
And D-F - I can not tell face up in a clean ring a 1ct, I can in some 2cts and mostly in 3cts (always looking from the side, and never can tell face on in a well cut stone).
Also FYI - some of these high end companies go up to medium fluorescence and as long as they screened the stones (not all do) you will get a whiter and BRIGHTER diamond.
I hope some of you in this thread read my chapter in my book about fluorescence?

Thank you for sharing! I want to make sure I understand your point on florescence. I know that it is generally advised to avoid fluoresce. Are you saying that high end companies will sometimes offer stones with florescence because this enhances the whiteness? If so, do you recommend to avoid such stones?

Thanks again!
 
After watching countless videos of myself trying on rings, I noticed that I love the crispness and brightness of a D color diamond—it really stands out to me. That said, I’m aware I might be biased because I know which ones were D color and which weren’t. Maybe I’m imagining it… but I can’t unsee it now!

A sad excerpt from my book:
1736376606440.png
1736376629435.png
 
PS sory for the threadJack
 
Thank you for sharing! I want to make sure I understand your point on florescence. I know that it is generally advised to avoid fluoresce. Are you saying that high end companies will sometimes offer stones with florescence because this enhances the whiteness? If so, do you recommend to avoid such stones?

Thanks again!
For $10 you might want to download the book. It explains why fluorescence became a bad guy in 1993 on a completely non diamond appearance matter (fluorescent diamonds were being over graded in South Korea).
This image is a bit technical, but it shows that blue fluorescent diamonds are actually whiter today than their GIA color grade and because of the additional blue light they emit, they are actually BRIGHTER.
1736377259546.png
 
I may have missed it, but what’s your finger size?
 
Also FYI - some of these high end companies go up to medium fluorescence and as long as they screened the stones (not all do) you will get a whiter and BRIGHTER diamond.
I hope some of you in this thread read my chapter in my book about fluorescence?
Chapter 10 is the best Garry !!!
it's true about outdoors shade UV enhancement... D w/ SB goes super crisp bright white if you step outside in the shade... :)
 
Sure, answering your questions below. Thank you for taking the time to ask!

Buying stones: I don’t have any personal experience. Some of my married friends have limited experience (primarily with engagement rings).

Wearing diamonds: I wear branded jewelry with smaller diamonds, though not every day. My usual everyday jewelry is also branded but typically without diamonds. This isn’t intentional—I don’t mind diamonds for everyday wear. My engagement ring will definitely be the largest diamond I’ll own.

Size, color, and clarity of diamonds worn by friends and family: I’m not sure about their color or clarity. Sizes seem to range from 1 to 4 carats.

Cultural considerations: There’s nothing specific about my culture that influences my choice. I value items I love to look at and wear often. I only experience buyer’s remorse for things I rarely wear.

Importance of size: Getting the size just right is very important to me. I don’t like the look of a massive stone. Ideally, the diamond will be sizeable enough to stand out (to me) while still being appropriate for everyday wear. I know this is very subjective, but from my brief exploration, my ideal size seems to fall between 1.5 and 3 carats. I’m leaning toward the smaller end but giving myself some wiggle room just in case of "diamond shrinkage." Basically, I want to look down at my finger and be mesmerized every time!

After watching countless videos of myself trying on rings, I noticed that I love the crispness and brightness of a D color diamond—it really stands out to me. That said, I’m aware I might be biased because I know which ones were D color and which weren’t. Maybe I’m imagining it… but I can’t unsee it now!

Given all of this I would personally suggest going for FG color in the 2-2.5ct range. Unless you compare side-by-side, FG is going to look blazing white to your eyes. I just don't see the point of a D color diamond unless you just like it lol. In which case, go for it I guess? But for practical purposes, I personally think F-G is very very white and "reads" as white in all but the most punishing circumstances. If you were buying from an online vendor or similar I would even say go for H color, but I suspect the bulk of the mark up for this ring is coming from the brand and color may not have as much play on that (and budget clearly isn't your number one factor), so that's why I landed at FG. Safe, white, mind clean.

For clarity I suggest simply going eye clean and otherwise not worrying too much about it. I suspect Graff has limits there too but if you can find an eye clean SI1 go for it!

Fluor is neither here nor there. Yes it has a bad rap and generally brings price down all else being equal, but that's a tempest in a tea pot and I think its kind of a non-issue. Color and size are going to the most important factors for what you will perceive day to day with your ring.

But the most important thing is Cut quality. These luxury houses typically screen for cut to some extent. But even then there is variation within the Ex cut grade for example. I would personally want to have choice about that. I would like to see the grading reports for the available diamonds and select from there some finalists and then I would choose with my eyes.
 
It's about 5.75, sometimes 5.5 or 6 depending on the brand

Yeah 2-2.5 will look huge and stave if DSS but it won’t feel too big either.

Some people order CZ cheapies off Amazon to try different size diamonds. You might do that.
 
Yeah 2-2.5 will look huge and stave if DSS but it won’t feel too big either.

Some people order CZ cheapies off Amazon to try different size diamonds. You might do that.

Thank you for the advice! I ordered a "2 CT" solitaire from Amazon, it's in Tiffany-like setting, hopefully wearing it at home will help my decision regarding the size.
 
I think someone already mentioned comparing the diameter of stones rather than carat weight--something else to keep in mind trying to just avoid the 'magic' sizes where prices can make a significant change, i.e. .99 vs 1 or 1.01; 1.99 or even 1.95 vs 2.00 ct--this is not only where prices change (get more expensive per ct wt) but also where you need to review diameter. Some 1.9 c wt stones actually have a larger diameter than a 2.01 stone (weight might be 'hidden' in the depth).
 
This is a 8.5mm on a size 5.75. This website is great for visuals.

IMG_1853.png
 
As I continue exploring different options for shapes and stones, I’ve noticed something interesting about pear-shaped diamonds. They seem to appear more transparent and brighter—almost whiter—compared to round cuts of a similar color grade.

Am I imagining this, or has anyone else observed the same? If so, what could be the reason? Is it something inherent to the pear shape, or could it just be a coincidence with the stones I’ve seen so far? Would love to hear your thoughts!
 
As I continue exploring different options for shapes and stones, I’ve noticed something interesting about pear-shaped diamonds. They seem to appear more transparent and brighter—almost whiter—compared to round cuts of a similar color grade.

Am I imagining this, or has anyone else observed the same? If so, what could be the reason? Is it something inherent to the pear shape, or could it just be a coincidence with the stones I’ve seen so far? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Are you making this observation based on looking at stones in jewellery store lighting? Because that could be the culprit.
 
mishmish, maybe make a separate post for your more diamond-specific questions. You may be missing feedback from those who aren't checking the Graff post anymore. Your questions have become more broader (or more specific, depending on how you look at it!) :)
 
Are you making this observation based on looking at stones in jewellery store lighting? Because that could be the culprit.

Yes, in store lighting indeed. But it was the same lighting for both, pears and rounds.
 
Yes, in store lighting indeed. But it was the same lighting for both, pears and rounds.

The way that rounds are cut they tend to go dark in spotlighting. It has to do with how they handle light in spot lighting that emphasizes fire. The way pears and ovals are cut emphasizes white light return, and so in environments that would otherwise create fire like jewellery store lighting, just stay white. That’s probably why you thought pears look, whiter than rounds. It’s a function of the cut styles and the way that they balance white light return versus coloured light return.
 
The way that rounds are cut they tend to go dark in spotlighting. It has to do with how they handle light in spot lighting that emphasizes fire. The way pears and ovals are cut emphasizes white light return, and so in environments that would otherwise create fire like jewellery store lighting, just stay white. That’s probably why you thought pears look, whiter than rounds. It’s a function of the cut styles and the way that they balance white light return versus coloured light return.

This is an excellent explanation. In general in good diffuse lighting, which is best for color assesment, a well cut pear shape H will face up as I-J in the crushed ice regions of the stone. A round well cut H will usually face up as F-G.
The grading system is flawed.
 
The way that rounds are cut they tend to go dark in spotlighting. It has to do with how they handle light in spot lighting that emphasizes fire. The way pears and ovals are cut emphasizes white light return, and so in environments that would otherwise create fire like jewellery store lighting, just stay white. That’s probably why you thought pears look, whiter than rounds. It’s a function of the cut styles and the way that they balance white light return versus coloured light return.

Thanks a lot, great explanation! I love this learning process.
 
Thanks a lot, great explanation! I love this learning process.
Here is another explanation using sunlight to highlight Dreamers point about going dark
 
My ring size is 4.5 and I have a 2.5 ct D VS1 super ideal cut (a CBI which isn't made anymore).

Everyone's ability to see nuances in color and cut and peoples' preferences are different. For me, I absolutely can tell a D from and F, G, H, etc. In modern cuts, I strongly prefer the crispiness of a D or E for a ring set in platinum or white gold. (In antique cuts I prefer warmer stones).

Also, for me, in my geography and social circle, my 2.5 ct seems like a "medium" size. It does NOT seem large at all. Some days it even seems small-ish. Diamond shrinkage syndrome is real. I wish I had gone larger.

Upthread, @Tonks made some excellent points. The only person who can decide what color, size and clarity is right for you is YOU. The best way to figure out what you are able to see and what you prefer, is to go and look at lots of stones/rings in different lighting, on different days, and see what makes your heart flutter. And test some CZs in those little gem/ring holders you can wear around the house to get a sense of size. Any carat size will seem large at first. But I can tell you, that my 2.5 ct diamond on a size 4.5 finger does not seem large after wearing it a few years.

Please don't let any random people tell you "oh yes, an XYZ color, clarity and carat size is just what you need." They just like to hear themselves talk and the advice is worth about as much as a fart in the wind. Go look at lots of stones and let your inner voice guide you. Trust yourself, your own eyes and your heart. (And factor in that your diamond may seem to shrink as the years go by.)
 
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Here is another explanation using sunlight to highlight Dreamers point about going dark

Garry, I think that link confuses "dilate" with "contract." Our pupils CONTRACT to protect our eyes from sunlight. The post says they dilate.
 
I love Graff and I'm also having a hard time wrapping my head around setting a price-point of up to $80K and then trying to walk back how suboptimal color or other parameters I am willing to accept in the process (!). That's putting the cart before the horse, imo. Using the Porsche analogy: I don't care a ton how well it runs; I just must have one in my garage.

I get falling in love with a brand name like Hemmerle, where no one else does what they do. I can not tell even the best goldsmith that I want a massive brass shank (that will patina with time) lined with 18K YG and with a weathered-copper bezel for my giant colored stone. No one else will do it. And I get falling in love with real Deco-era Tiffany and a few others. But I don't get falling so in love with a brand name for something as commoditized as colorless, conventional-cut diamonds in a well-crafted but conventional mounting unless it is to be able to name-check for people who otherwise would not know.

Maybe the Graff family personally picks all their diamonds. So what? A half-dozen folks on here could easily help you find their equal at a fraction of the price. And if price does not matter, then don't ask us and buy whatever they tell you and assume that the "value" is comparable across their entire spectrum (e.g., 4X mark-up vs. others).

I might pay an extra $10K for an extraordinary make in a mounting but not an extra $50K. The things I have considered buying in your price range have been one-of-a-kind untreated colored gems in (generally) simple antique or vintage mountings; they were "now-or-never" events (and usually nevers :cool2:). Graff will have an endless supply of fine diamonds in fine mountings.

Graff is funny. One son and I were at their Geneva location a couple months ago fresh off a red-eye while we were waiting for my wife to fly in. We stashed our wheelie-bags at the train station and showed up unshaven in T-shirts and jeans. We had to wait in the air-lock-like vestibule for a good 30 seconds ("for de-lousing," my son said) before their time lock would let us in the interior door. But once inside, I was treated like royalty and shown their only colored stones -- in the mid-six- and low-seven-figure range.

You asked the forum for help with securing a discount and I did not ask this in Graff because I made clear that what they showed me was miles outside my target, but a simple "Are you able to work with me on pricing?" goes a long way. Not the first words out of your mouth but after they have invested a couple minutes in the conversation, and you have shown that you know what you are talking about and are there for a reason and are not just ducking out of the sun or rain, and you have seemingly identified something that genuinely intrigues you. Every now and then you will get an "Oh, heavens no, you filthy heathen!" but more typically the response is along the lines of "Well, uh, um, we like to ensure that our customers feel they are getting a good value...what exactly were you thinking...?" If you are too indirect and just hem and haw that that's more than you'd like to spend, they just bring out the tinier ring, also for full list price.

I agree with others to not come in and blurt out a price-point. It's just like a used car lot. They are not gonna show the "$8,000 guy" the $10,000 - $12,000 cars in the hopes that he can successfully talk them down.

Also, if you are shopping with your partner, you need to treat it like car shopping and you'll want to show genuine interest but also play it somewhat cool. You must be prepared to walk away and think about it. You are in trouble if you lead off with, "OMG, Honey this is the one!!!" Once my wife and I played it so cool that it was only back in the car that we learned that the other thought something we were shown was amazing. (It sold right after we left -- lesson learned(ish)!) (In contrast, for vendors whom I know and trust, they lead off with their best price and I respond with a candid assessment of my interest level so the dance is a brief one.)
 
As I continue exploring different options for shapes and stones, I’ve noticed something interesting about pear-shaped diamonds. They seem to appear more transparent and brighter—almost whiter—compared to round cuts of a similar color grade.

Am I imagining this, or has anyone else observed the same? If so, what could be the reason? Is it something inherent to the pear shape, or could it just be a coincidence with the stones I’ve seen so far? Would love to hear your thoughts!

I will say that rounds are MUCH more forgiving in color vs. Pears. I am obsessed with Pear cuts, and it's what I plan to get for my next upgrade- with that said, Pears hold color like no other- they def show up warmer than their Round counterparts, simply because the color is distributed differently, In a Pear, you will see some warmth at the tip vs. the round "belly." I probably have more color tolerance than many here, and I don't want to go below a G in a Pear, but could probably go up to an I/J in a round depending on the cut. There are times I also think I may consider a round simply because of the color distribution.

I am excited to see what you end up with! Thank you for taking us along on your journey!
 
I will say that rounds are MUCH more forgiving in color vs. Pears. I am obsessed with Pear cuts, and it's what I plan to get for my next upgrade- with that said, Pears hold color like no other- they def show up warmer than their Round counterparts, simply because the color is distributed differently, In a Pear, you will see some warmth at the tip vs. the round "belly." I probably have more color tolerance than many here, and I don't want to go below a G in a Pear, but could probably go up to an I/J in a round depending on the cut. There are times I also think I may consider a round simply because of the color distribution.

I am excited to see what you end up with! Thank you for taking us along on your journey!

Seconding this - I feel like a pear appears about one colour grade darker than an equivalent round of a similar size. I saw a 1.5ct J round and a 1.5ct I pear side by side and they looked about the same colour (and if anything, the pear looked a tad yellower). I love the shape of a pear, and the spread, but they seem yellower to me than even the equivalent colour grade ovals do.
 
I love Graff and I'm also having a hard time wrapping my head around setting a price-point of up to $80K and then trying to walk back how suboptimal color or other parameters I am willing to accept in the process (!). That's putting the cart before the horse, imo. Using the Porsche analogy: I don't care a ton how well it runs; I just must have one in my garage.

I get falling in love with a brand name like Hemmerle, where no one else does what they do. I can not tell even the best goldsmith that I want a massive brass shank (that will patina with time) lined with 18K YG and with a weathered-copper bezel for my giant colored stone. No one else will do it. And I get falling in love with real Deco-era Tiffany and a few others. But I don't get falling so in love with a brand name for something as commoditized as colorless, conventional-cut diamonds in a well-crafted but conventional mounting unless it is to be able to name-check for people who otherwise would not know.

Maybe the Graff family personally picks all their diamonds. So what? A half-dozen folks on here could easily help you find their equal at a fraction of the price. And if price does not matter, then don't ask us and buy whatever they tell you and assume that the "value" is comparable across their entire spectrum (e.g., 4X mark-up vs. others).

I might pay an extra $10K for an extraordinary make in a mounting but not an extra $50K. The things I have considered buying in your price range have been one-of-a-kind untreated colored gems in (generally) simple antique or vintage mountings; they were "now-or-never" events (and usually nevers :cool2:). Graff will have an endless supply of fine diamonds in fine mountings.

Graff is funny. One son and I were at their Geneva location a couple months ago fresh off a red-eye while we were waiting for my wife to fly in. We stashed our wheelie-bags at the train station and showed up unshaven in T-shirts and jeans. We had to wait in the air-lock-like vestibule for a good 30 seconds ("for de-lousing," my son said) before their time lock would let us in the interior door. But once inside, I was treated like royalty and shown their only colored stones -- in the mid-six- and low-seven-figure range.

You asked the forum for help with securing a discount and I did not ask this in Graff because I made clear that what they showed me was miles outside my target, but a simple "Are you able to work with me on pricing?" goes a long way. Not the first words out of your mouth but after they have invested a couple minutes in the conversation, and you have shown that you know what you are talking about and are there for a reason and are not just ducking out of the sun or rain, and you have seemingly identified something that genuinely intrigues you. Every now and then you will get an "Oh, heavens no, you filthy heathen!" but more typically the response is along the lines of "Well, uh, um, we like to ensure that our customers feel they are getting a good value...what exactly were you thinking...?" If you are too indirect and just hem and haw that that's more than you'd like to spend, they just bring out the tinier ring, also for full list price.

I agree with others to not come in and blurt out a price-point. It's just like a used car lot. They are not gonna show the "$8,000 guy" the $10,000 - $12,000 cars in the hopes that he can successfully talk them down.

Also, if you are shopping with your partner, you need to treat it like car shopping and you'll want to show genuine interest but also play it somewhat cool. You must be prepared to walk away and think about it. You are in trouble if you lead off with, "OMG, Honey this is the one!!!" Once my wife and I played it so cool that it was only back in the car that we learned that the other thought something we were shown was amazing. (It sold right after we left -- lesson learned(ish)!) (In contrast, for vendors whom I know and trust, they lead off with their best price and I respond with a candid assessment of my interest level so the dance is a brief one.)

You have a wonderful way with words! I LOL at delousing.....
 
Garry, I think that link confuses "dilate" with "contract." Our pupils CONTRACT to protect our eyes from sunlight. The post says they dilate.

You are correct Glitterata!
I should stick to small words like "get smaller"
 
@mishmish33 were you able to see anymore rings in person?
 
Garry, I think that link confuses "dilate" with "contract." Our pupils CONTRACT to protect our eyes from sunlight. The post says they dilate.

Thanks Glitter.
Problem fixed :P2
 
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