secret stash pt-2...do you think your SO...

[partgypsy]

No but I wish!, like some secret checking account with 10 grand he could buy me baubles with (I can dream, right?). I think it is impossible for this man to lie, which makes him terrible at keeping secrets but good at being a husband.
Same for myself, unless you count a spare 20 lying about.

 

[Mara]

Date: 11/19/2009 4:57:04 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
Yes and yes..

I know he puts a few dollars each pay period in a bank account I'm not on (which is how he surprised me with my diamond studs the other year, he saved his lunch money for a whole year to purchase them!). And, I put pocket change away for a rainy day (ok.. for a 'day', since I live in SoCa, rainy just doesn't happen

). There are times I would like to have a few dollars to surprise him with a little 'something' but he can see everything I buy from our bank account so the suprise factor wouldn't be there.

SDL to me this isn't a 'secret stash'... because you know about it, even if you don't know details.

The *original* SS thread was about hiding money from your spouse 'just in case' and it wasn't a GOOD just in case either...and he wouldn't know about it. and vice versa. aka he would have secret accounts in the Caymans.

We have some joint accounts and some separate accounts, but access to each other's finances.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 11/19/2009 5:08:29 PM
Author: sctsbride09
Absolutely not, either of us. In our relationship, there are NO secrets, so that would be a huge lie.

No secrets? None at all?

I have tons. . .like how I spend 10 hours a day on PS. Hmmm. . .that I snuck to the mall four times this week. What else? Oh, that I bribe the kids with treats IF I want to go to the mall on a day they don''t have school on a day.

That I feed the kids uncooked top ramen because I spent all our food money on clothes and our water was shut off along with the power. Ooops, he''ll probably find that one out.

People are funny. No secrets. I think you''re hiding some truth from someone.

 

[Callisto]

Bahaha no. We can''t keep secrets from each other. There''s no way he could hide a stash of money, or want to.

 

[partgypsy]

When my mom and dad got divorced my mom kept claiming my Dad had secret bank accounts, money stashed away, but I don''t think that was the case. On the other hand my mother had around 25K she inherited she always kept seperate so she was able to pay the lawyers, etc (actually she says it''s 25 but at this point she''s spent that "25K" about 3 different times so it must have been more). If anyone had money squirreled away it was my mom because she is secretive with money issues.

 

[Mara]

Date: 11/19/2009 5:18:56 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 11/19/2009 5:11:29 PM
Author: Mara

Date: 11/19/2009 4:57:04 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
Yes and yes..

I know he puts a few dollars each pay period in a bank account I'm not on (which is how he surprised me with my diamond studs the other year, he saved his lunch money for a whole year to purchase them!). And, I put pocket change away for a rainy day (ok.. for a 'day', since I live in SoCa, rainy just doesn't happen

). There are times I would like to have a few dollars to surprise him with a little 'something' but he can see everything I buy from our bank account so the suprise factor wouldn't be there.

SDL to me this isn't a 'secret stash'... because you know about it, even if you don't know details.

The *original* SS thread was about hiding money from your spouse 'just in case' and it wasn't a GOOD just in case either...and he wouldn't know about it. and vice versa. aka he would have secret accounts in the Caymans.

We have some joint accounts and some separate accounts, but access to each other's finances.

Well.. I never know how much he's got.. and vice verse.. but not for leaving purposes!!!

I missed the original thread.. oh my stars, no way. I'd considered it once, but it was a fleeting thought! I've already done one divorce, God knows I dont want to do that again, he's pretty stuck with me I'd say. lol

RIGHT?? I have someone close who is going through a divorce after 25 years and all the secrets and lies about money and hidden accounts and this and that...oh it's just nasty to watch it all unravel. Esp since the lawyers find it all anyway...then you just look silly.

I came home and told Greg he is stuck with me til DEATH DO US PART.

 

[KimberlyH]

No secret stash on my end. My husband runs his own businness and makes the majority of money in our household, there are lots of intricacies involved so I''m sure I''m not aware of every penny, but I imagine he''s not hiding money from me either (I could go dig through his disaster of an office if I really wanted to know); as someone else said if he was I wouldn''t know about it, but I know for sure that right now there is no money to hide!

MC, the idea that one doesn''t have secrets from their spouse isn''t that far-fetched. I certainly don''t give an exact accounting of my day or spending (he just has to look at the bank account to see that, though) but I can''t think of a single thing I have intentionally kept from my husband.

 

[sctsbride09]

MC- None, really. I understand that other couples may hide things from each other, but we do not. If I did not feel we could be truthful about everything, I would not have married him. Of course I have secrets, just not from my husband.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 11/19/2009 5:25:56 PM
Author: KimberlyH
No secret stash on my end. My husband runs his own businness and makes the majority of money in our household, there are lots of intricacies involved so I'm sure I'm not aware of every penny, but I imagine he's not hiding money from me either (I could go dig through his disaster of an office if I really wanted to know); as someone else said if he was I wouldn't know about it, but I know for sure that right now there is no money to hide!

MC, the idea that one doesn't have secrets from their spouse isn't that far-fetched. I certainly don't give an exact accounting of my day or spending (he just has to look at the bank account to see that, though) but I can't think of a single thing I have intentionally kept from my husband.

I'm not saying anyone keeps numerous secrets from their spouse and I can't think of anything that would be harmful to my relationship with my husband. . .but keep in mind, I'm almost (not quite) 37 and met my dh when I was 17, so surely along the way SOMETHING was kept from him. I'm not going to state I'm perfect when I know at least one thing probably was kept from him. I'm human and admit to not being perfect

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Yes, I did. When I planned my DH''s birthday, I saved and saved and it was a secret.

 

[Kay]

No to both. We keep separate accounts and do not usually keep track of each other''s finances very closely, but that is due to laziness, not secrecy. Now that we are trying to save for a down payment on a new house, I ask him for regular updates on his account balances.

 

[MonkeyPants]

ha! if Fi had a stash of money somewhere i would feel relieved! But sadly i''m pretty sure that''s not the case. I don''t keep money from him either, though we do have separate checking accounts (as well as as joint)

 

[LGK]

Date: 11/19/2009 5:05:08 PM
Author: MC

Date: 11/19/2009 4:52:53 PM
Author: somethingshiny
No and no. I think you must need a lot of money to be able to hide some. Those of us who live on a tighter budget know where every dime is at all times.

One doesn't necessarily need a lot of money to hide some. Everyone has a different idea of what 'a stash' is. For me, it would be $500. Any more than that I would consider improper hiding from my DH. Basically, when I do have that sort of stash fund, it's kept for when there is a sale at Norstrom and I want to stock up on some favorites (like I only buy a pair of designer jeans every 4-6 months, so I will use part of that for a pair). My $500 is probably pocket change for others on here.

I have no idea of what DF's concept of a stash is. If it's something like $10K, then there is NO way I could hide that. Even though I pay all the bills and my husband doesn't want to have anything to do with that part of our fiances, DH always asks me what happened to all the money. (lol)

Um. one-day Macy's sale. . .

Oh cool, another woman who does the finances! Yeah, a few hundreds are definitely good to keep around. I usually keep a few hundred around in case my debit card magically finds its way into my husband's pocket

And I do have to say "full disclosure on everything" to your spouse? I absolutely agree it's not always brilliant. When I met my husband at 19, I definitely told him some things I'd done that I *know* he'd rather not have known. I've definitely learned over the years that some things are better not shared- like, does he really want to know his cousin hit on me at their grandmother's funeral? Probably not!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 11/19/2009 4:54:05 PM
Author: monarch64
My dad has all sorts of money he doesn''t tell my mother about. She went to all the banks in town one year when I was in high school and accounted for some of it, but I''d guess that''s the tip of the iceberg. She''s a spender, he''s a saver. By no means do I think it''s right for people to withhold that sort of financial information from their spouse, but I''m sure he has his reasons.

smart dude.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 11/19/2009 5:25:38 PM
Author: Mara

Date: 11/19/2009 5:18:56 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

Date: 11/19/2009 5:11:29 PM
Author: Mara

Date: 11/19/2009 4:57:04 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
Yes and yes..

I know he puts a few dollars each pay period in a bank account I''m not on (which is how he surprised me with my diamond studs the other year, he saved his lunch money for a whole year to purchase them!). And, I put pocket change away for a rainy day (ok.. for a ''day'', since I live in SoCa, rainy just doesn''t happen

). There are times I would like to have a few dollars to surprise him with a little ''something'' but he can see everything I buy from our bank account so the suprise factor wouldn''t be there.

SDL to me this isn''t a ''secret stash''... because you know about it, even if you don''t know details.

The *original* SS thread was about hiding money from your spouse ''just in case'' and it wasn''t a GOOD just in case either...and he wouldn''t know about it. and vice versa. aka he would have secret accounts in the Caymans.

We have some joint accounts and some separate accounts, but access to each other''s finances.

Well.. I never know how much he''s got.. and vice verse.. but not for leaving purposes!!!

I missed the original thread.. oh my stars, no way. I''d considered it once, but it was a fleeting thought! I''ve already done one divorce, God knows I dont want to do that again, he''s pretty stuck with me I''d say. lol

RIGHT?? I have someone close who is going through a divorce after 25 years and all the secrets and lies about money and hidden accounts and this and that...oh it''s just nasty to watch it all unravel. Esp since the lawyers find it all anyway...then you just look silly.

I came home and told Greg he is stuck with me til DEATH DO US PART.

That''s terrible Mara, I feel so badly for your friend.
Hubby is in the money management business . He couldn''t hide anything because of his business. I am 100% honest with him as to what I have and he manages a good deal of it. I do have another account for my eyes only. He knows about it, and knows what''s in there... It''s not a secret, it''s just my business.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 11/19/2009 5:08:29 PM
Author: sctsbride09
Absolutely not, either of us. In our relationship, there are NO secrets, so that would be a huge lie.

since when is hiding money = lying?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 11/19/2009 4:59:54 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell
Um, if it''s a secret stash, then I wouldn''t know about it, would I?

I don''t know anything about his finances really, nor he about mine. We''ve always had it that way.

Mrs M

i love your style.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 11/19/2009 5:15:03 PM
Author: MC

Date: 11/19/2009 5:08:29 PM
Author: sctsbride09
Absolutely not, either of us. In our relationship, there are NO secrets, so that would be a huge lie.

No secrets? None at all?

I have tons. . .like how I spend 10 hours a day on PS. Hmmm. . .that I snuck to the mall four times this week. What else? Oh, that I bribe the kids with treats IF I want to go to the mall on a day they don't have school on a day.

That I feed the kids uncooked top ramen because I spent all our food money on clothes and our water was shut off along with the power. Ooops, he'll probably find that one out.

People are funny. No secrets. I think you're hiding some truth from someone.

My husband and I have no secrets. Zero. Nada. Not even things like my weight! To be honest, if my husband kept the things you mentioned above hidden from me, I would've left him in a jiffy. That said, if he spent all our money on a boat with only ramen to feed our kids, I wouldn't let him see my face another day.

As for us, we still have our own accounts but the money is never a secret. He also has a lot of different investment accounts, so I don't know exactly how much is in each account, but I do know the ball point figure. I don't secret stash for gifts either, because we both have our own banks and credit cards.

 

[qtiekiki]

DH stash money (as in cash) in case of emergency or not wanting to go to the bank. I frequently take money from that secret stash. LOL.

But NO, we don''t hide money from each other.

 

[steph72276]

Nope, not at all. I manage all the finances, but we both have access to it. I account for every single penny, so both of us can go right into the program and look and see what the $$ was spent on. Neither of us carries cash unless we need it for parking or something that doesn''t take cards. And I too would be one that would say I don''t have secrets from my husband (except for things like gifts we are giving to each other)...he is my best friend and we talk about everything....I would feel very hurt if I found out he was keeping a "secret stash" unless it was for a gift b/c really, what would he be doing with this money that he couldn''t tell me about?

 

[musey]

Date: 11/19/2009 2:18:52 PM
Author: ladypirate
No to both (unless you count the $40 I found in his pants pocket when I did the laundry the other day...

)

LOL... I''m with this

I''ve been withdrawing cash from our acct. and slowly stockpiling so that I can buy his Christmas present without him seeing it on the credit card statement

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 11/19/2009 6:43:44 PM
Author: steph72276
Nope, not at all. I manage all the finances, but we both have access to it. I account for every single penny, so both of us can go right into the program and look and see what the $$ was spent on. Neither of us carries cash unless we need it for parking or something that doesn''t take cards. And I too would be one that would say I don''t have secrets from my husband (except for things like gifts we are giving to each other)...he is my best friend and we talk about everything....I would feel very hurt if I found out he was keeping a ''secret stash'' unless it was for a gift b/c really, what would he be doing with this money that he couldn''t tell me about?

if he was Chinese,then the answer would be....supporting his mistress.

 

[steph72276]

Date: 11/19/2009 7:00:05 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 11/19/2009 6:43:44 PM

Author: steph72276

Nope, not at all. I manage all the finances, but we both have access to it. I account for every single penny, so both of us can go right into the program and look and see what the $$ was spent on. Neither of us carries cash unless we need it for parking or something that doesn''t take cards. And I too would be one that would say I don''t have secrets from my husband (except for things like gifts we are giving to each other)...he is my best friend and we talk about everything....I would feel very hurt if I found out he was keeping a ''secret stash'' unless it was for a gift b/c really, what would he be doing with this money that he couldn''t tell me about?

if he was Chinese,then the answer would be....supporting his mistress.

Well, I guess it would be hard to hide that type of thing when the wife is in charge of the finances!

 

[vespergirl]

Yes, be both have money stashed away from each other. We each know of the existence of the other accounts, but don''t know the amounts. I''m fine with it.

 

[Haven]

Date: 11/19/2009 5:22:17 PM
Author: part gypsy
When my mom and dad got divorced my mom kept claiming my Dad had secret bank accounts, money stashed away, but I don''t think that was the case. On the other hand my mother had around 25K she inherited she always kept seperate so she was able to pay the lawyers, etc (actually she says it''s 25 but at this point she''s spent that ''25K'' about 3 different times so it must have been more). If anyone had money squirreled away it was my mom because she is secretive with money issues.

Are you sure we aren''t sisters?

Anyway . . .

No and no.

We stash money when we''re saving for something big, but we do that together. For example, we plan on giving my sister and her fiance $1,000 as a belated engagement gift (to use for their wedding) when my sister comes home from the Middle East at the end of the year. (They aren''t marrying for two years.) Whenever we have extra cash in our wallets at the end of the week we throw it into the L&A wedding fund. I prefer this method because the money adds up pretty quickly and we never miss the money when we stash it away bit by bit.

 

[sctsbride09]

DancingFire- To me, hiding money is lying because you are HIDING something from your spouse. I do not HIDE or LIE to my husband.

 

[merrijoy]

Date: 11/19/2009 6:38:18 PM
Author: kama_s

Date: 11/19/2009 5:15:03 PM
Author: MC

Date: 11/19/2009 5:08:29 PM
Author: sctsbride09
Absolutely not, either of us. In our relationship, there are NO secrets, so that would be a huge lie.

No secrets? None at all?

I have tons. . .like how I spend 10 hours a day on PS. Hmmm. . .that I snuck to the mall four times this week. What else? Oh, that I bribe the kids with treats IF I want to go to the mall on a day they don''t have school on a day.

That I feed the kids uncooked top ramen because I spent all our food money on clothes and our water was shut off along with the power. Ooops, he''ll probably find that one out.

People are funny. No secrets. I think you''re hiding some truth from someone.

My husband and I have no secrets. Zero. Nada. Not even things like my weight! To be honest, if my husband kept the things you mentioned above hidden from me, I would''ve left him in a jiffy. That said, if he spent all our money on a boat with only ramen to feed our kids, I wouldn''t let him see my face another day.

As for us, we still have our own accounts but the money is never a secret. He also has a lot of different investment accounts, so I don''t know exactly how much is in each account, but I do know the ball point figure. I don''t secret stash for gifts either, because we both have our own banks and credit cards.

I completely agree with this. MC - are you being serious? I really hope you are not here. 10 hours a day on PS? and spending food, and the electric bill money on clothes.......Seriously, I would be gone before I could hear the door shut.

DH is the person I tell everything to. I could not imagine living with a person that I lie to (ok, maybe not lie, but lie by omission).
DH and I are completely open and honest about money - we were poor college students when we met and because of student loans, we still don''t have a ton of money unfortunately. There would be no point of a secret stash when we are so indebted to our loans...

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 11/19/2009 8:11:18 PM
Author: merrijoy
I completely agree with this. MC - are you being serious? I really hope you are not here. 10 hours a day on PS? and spending food, and the electric bill money on clothes.......Seriously, I would be gone before I could hear the door shut.

DH is the person I tell everything to. I could not imagine living with a person that I lie to (ok, maybe not lie, but lie by omission).
DH and I are completely open and honest about money - we were poor college students when we met and because of student loans, we still don''t have a ton of money unfortunately. There would be no point of a secret stash when we are so indebted to our loans...

Of course I am joking. Explain to me how I am online if my power has been shut off?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 11/19/2009 6:38:18 PM
Author: kama_s

My husband and I have no secrets. Zero. Nada. Not even things like my weight! To be honest, if my husband kept the things you mentioned above hidden from me, I would''ve left him in a jiffy. That said, if he spent all our money on a boat with only ramen to feed our kids, I wouldn''t let him see my face another day.

As for us, we still have our own accounts but the money is never a secret. He also has a lot of different investment accounts, so I don''t know exactly how much is in each account, but I do know the ball point figure. I don''t secret stash for gifts either, because we both have our own banks and credit cards.

I WAS NOT SERIOUS!

It was a joke!!! My power is on, my kids are eating turkey burgers for dinner, and I''m about to get offline here.

I''m humored that anyone would actually believe what I just said.

Understanding of sarcasm? Guess not?

 

[junebug17]

No to both questions.