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Ringless and awkward - what should I do?

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
Problem:

I am too fat to wear my 'placeholder' ring anymore. :(sad It has already been resized from it's original tiny ring size (think it was a 3.75 or so) to it's current 7.25. I need an 8.25. The jeweller who took care of resizing did an amazing job melding the new gold bar into the band, so you can't tell it was massively resized, but it also means I am hesitant to push it further.

The problem is, people at work have started asking me awkward questions and rumours are going around that I've split with my SO, to whom I am legally married. :blackeye: :angryfire:

****** Skip to bottom if backstory is unneeded! ******

For those who don't know my story, SO and I had to get legally married very early on in our relationship in order to deal with our immigration hurdles and be together. PSers coached me through the biggest leap of faith one could ask for ( :love: to all those who held my hand through that journey!) and it was the best thing that's ever happened to me. It was the right choice. We're still planning to get ceremonially married (with the families, the vows, the rings, etc) when we can afford it and he's no longer in the madness of grad school. We still have not gotten formally engaged even though we're legally married. We will get engaged (with some sort of ring) and then ceremonially married when circumstances allow, and I'm fine with that - no rush. I've got the man, the trappings will happen when they happen. :rodent:

We don't wear wedding bands, because while the wedding ceremony and hoopla will be for the sake of his family's expectations, the exchange of rings and vows is the only thing we care about. (There were no rings or vows in our 35 second legal dealie, and I have my very pretty placeholder ring so people don't get all weird about my bare finger.)

So, we're in this sort of limbo where we are technically-married-but-not-fully, but that's not something my conservative workplace understands. However, my placeholder ring has always forestalled awkward questions, but now I can't wear it anymore. :(sad

****** Backstory complete! *******

I watch what I eat, I exercise moderately every day, but with my new promotion I am very focused on my job right now and establishing myself, so being a gym rat just to wear my ring again is not in the cards for at least the next 6 months. Plus, I feel like it's the equivalent of buying clothes too small with the hopes you will fit into them later - you can't go naked NOW until that happens!

It's become apparent that I can't go ringless either. So, I am looking into some sort of band I can stick on my bare finger that will quell people's flapping lips but won't look like a fashion ring, and around $200 or under. We plan to get simple matching domed yellow gold bands when we exchange vows- that's at least two years away or more. What kind of ring should I look for to avoid being too close to our wedding bands but not so far that people don't look at me funny?

I think something with an antique look, like my placeholder ring (it's in my av), might do the job, but what do people think? :read:
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
It's too bad my grandmother's engagement ring (she only had the one ring) is white metal instead of a warm metal, or I'd just get it repaired and wear that and people would shut up if it looked like an 'heirloom' ring no matter how tiny it was!

Gypsy|1317886117|3034421 said:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/10k-yellow-gold-4mm-ladies-wedding-band-ring-womens-vintage-estate-antique-7-/190584798885?pt=US_Wedding_Bands_without_Stones&hash=item2c5fbd3ea5 Could probably sized cheaply.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/ANTIQUE-14-K-GOLD-CLASSIC-ETERNITY-WEDDING-BAND-RING-/270736361836?pt=US_Wedding_Bands_without_Stones&hash=item3f0925096c

http://www.ebay.com/itm/14K-Yellow-Gold-Thin-Petite-Vintage-Milgrain-Antique-Wedding-Ring-Womens-Band-/330622262345?pt=US_Wedding_Bands_without_Stones&hash=item4cfa9f5c49 Lovely and new and can be used as a stacker later.
All of these are gorgeous, but they're very similar to what I will have as my 'real' wedding band, so I sort of feel like I should look for something that looks like a wedding band but not like MY wedding band, if that makes any sense?

And why are our feelings about jewellery so irrational??

This is FANTASTIC! Even if it's over budget, it's amazing, and it's definitely wedding band but-not-my-future-wedding-band so I wouldn't feel like I'm playing 'pretend'. Bookmarked so hard!
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
You know, I was thinking ... as of this Friday, ring budget will be $218, and if I wait until the end of the month, it will be $318 in my savings account that I use for online purchases of work-related clothes and such. :wink2: I could pad that out to $350 pretty easily by omitting any sorts of makeup, nail polish, etc purchases that normally nibble at our checking account every month.

Edit: :-o

Checked my account, and it's actually $318 as of THIS friday, I had more in there than I thought. So I could swing the $350 straight off, but I think any more than that and SO would pitch a fit for a 'temporary' solution that will only last until I can fit into my old ring. Assuming that's going to happen of course ... I'd rather just be comfortable now, ya know?
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Messages
40,198

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
Gypsy|1317887528|3034429 said:
ETA: Just saw your thoughts on WB but not a WB
Did you see the post about the budget increase? :appl:
You can do that?!! I know you can get YG rhodium plated to go white, but can you YG plate a white metal?
I hadn't even realized that you could do any sort of diamond with such a small budget, but you're right the diamonds on those are really pretty! I am going to ask if they can give me distance hand shots to get an idea of what the ring looks like on the hand, since their action shots are pretty close-range.

The last one is gorgeous, but I think it might be easily mistaken for a fashion ring as opposed to some sort of marital jewellery. Bet it would sparkle up in the Texas sun like a bomb o' bling, though! :lickout:
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
40,198
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Ladies-Estate-14K-Yellow-Gold-10-Diamond-1-4ct-Diamond-Ring-Band-Size-8-1-4-/380373825578?pt=US_Fine_Rings&hash=item58900bf82a Exactly your size and would look lovely once given a good cleaning I think.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Quality-14K-Gold-Natural-Sapphire-Diamond-Ring-8-1-2-/400246350877?pt=US_Fine_Rings&hash=item5d308aa41d Sapphire and Diamond and your size.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/UNIQUE-LADIES-14K-YELLOW-GOLD-DIAMOND-RING-SZ-8-/190576734443?pt=US_Fine_Rings&hash=item2c5f4230eb For an interjection of humor... the two penis ring. :o Not surprised they've had trouble selling this one.


ETA: I did see the budget increase. I really love that marquise and would actually buy it myself if I wasn't in the middle of buying other stuff. Still, I love it.
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
Gypsy|1317888959|3034435 said:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/UNIQUE-LADIES-14K-YELLOW-GOLD-DIAMOND-RING-SZ-8-/190576734443?pt=US_Fine_Rings&hash=item2c5f4230eb For an interjection of humor... the two penis ring. :o Not surprised they've had trouble selling this one.
.
I tried to think of a single reply I could make to this one and failed :lol: Um. Yeah. LOL!!

And since you mentioned your project, we need a 'shaking your fist' emotie for me to describe the unnatural lusts your OEC hunt has raised in me. :love:
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
40,198
Galateia|1317889416|3034436 said:
Gypsy|1317888959|3034435 said:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/UNIQUE-LADIES-14K-YELLOW-GOLD-DIAMOND-RING-SZ-8-/190576734443?pt=US_Fine_Rings&hash=item2c5f4230eb For an interjection of humor... the two penis ring. :o Not surprised they've had trouble selling this one.
.
I tried to think of a single reply I could make to this one and failed :lol: Um. Yeah. LOL!! You know they're all waiting to see who actually buys the thing. It's actually got nice workmanship but that design is just too suggestive!

And since you mentioned your project, we need a 'shaking your fist' emotie for me to describe the unnatural lusts your OEC hunt has raised in me. :love: I'm sorry... I know the feeling too.
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
What do you think of multi-stone rings for that 'marital jewellery' look without being either an all-out e-ring or all-out w-band? I'm seeing a lot of antique YG rings with tiny diamonds set in a white metal, which would be fine since it's the YG band that would be against my skin.
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
40,198
I live in CA and we're very "live and let live"... if I see a ring (no matter what I personally think of it) on someone's ring finger I assume some sort of attachment (unless it's a huge fakie glam ring or on a teenager). I think that whatever appeals to you is what you should wear.

HOWEVER, this band is specifically a "shut the hell up and leave me alone you busybody" ring so I think it depends on the design of the multistone. There are quite a few lovely ones out there that would work in the antique/vintage ring style, so I don't see why not.
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
Gypsy|1317890018|3034441 said:
I live in CA and we're very "live and let live"... if I see a ring (no matter what I personally think of it) on someone's ring finger I assume some sort of attachment (unless it's a huge fakie glam ring or on a teenager). I think that whatever appeals to you is what you should wear.

HOWEVER, this band is specifically a "shut the hell up and leave me alone you busybody" ring so I think it depends on the design of the multistone. There are quite a few lovely ones out there that would work in the antique/vintage ring style, so I don't see why not.
:lol: Nicely summarized! Plus, as you said, antique/vintage style would work in my favor as people are more likely to assume it was passed down from Great Aunt Maude or whoever, because other than PSers, who would want someone's quiet little old ring instead of some honker? At least, this is the only conclusion I can come to seeing the wedding sets around me- white metal, princess cuts in those illusion settings to make 4 small princesses look like 1 big one, and OVERFLOWING with pave and melee. Like, 'diamond-encrusted' must have been in the item description.

Edit: How are you managing to filter by ring size? Your ebay search-fu is kicking my butt!

Too bad this is so small and the pics are so blurry, it looks like a really pretty piece: http://www.ebay.com/itm/ladies-antique-Vintage-gold-ENGAGEMENT-Diamond-RING-/350495343862?pt=UK_JewelleryWatches_WomensJewellery_Rings_SR&hash=item519b2684f6
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
40,198
Galateia|1317890543|3034443 said:
Gypsy|1317890018|3034441 said:
I live in CA and we're very "live and let live"... if I see a ring (no matter what I personally think of it) on someone's ring finger I assume some sort of attachment (unless it's a huge fakie glam ring or on a teenager). I think that whatever appeals to you is what you should wear.

HOWEVER, this band is specifically a "shut the hell up and leave me alone you busybody" ring so I think it depends on the design of the multistone. There are quite a few lovely ones out there that would work in the antique/vintage ring style, so I don't see why not.
:lol: Nicely summarized! Plus, as you said, antique/vintage style would work in my favor as people are more likely to assume it was passed down from Great Aunt Maude or whoever, because other than PSers, who would want someone's quiet little old ring instead of some honker? At least, this is the only conclusion I can come to seeing the wedding sets around me- white metal, princess cuts in those illusion settings to make 4 small princesses look like 1 big one, and OVERFLOWING with pave and melee. Like, 'diamond-encrusted' must have been in the item description.
They always look like barnacles to me.
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
Messages
1,794
Gypsy|1317890584|3034444 said:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/36ctw-OLD-EUROPEAN-CUT-DIAMOND-RING-14kt-y-g-3-14gr-SI-G-H-NATURAL-DIAMONDS-NR-/400247284517?pt=US_Fine_Rings&hash=item5d3098e325 interesting.

Hm, it is. I wouldn't have thought of that as an option because at first glance you could mistake it it for your typical 80's style, but the more I look at it, the more intrigued I am ... I think it's the leaf/petal effect in the setting

http://www.ebay.com/itm/14k-Yellow-Gold-European-Cut-Diamond-33-ct-Solitaire-Engagement-Ring-Size-7-/150668850064?pt=Diamond_Solitaire_Rings&hash=item2314903390 Pretty setting wish you could swap out that diamond

Be still my heart with that setting, yeah. Do you think the diamond would be that obvious in real life?
http://www.ebay.com/itm/VINTAGE-1940s-ENGAGEMENT-RING-OLD-EUROPEAN-CUT-DIAMOND-/150672177271?pt=Diamond_Solitaire_with_Accents&hash=item2314c2f877

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Estate-14K-Gold-European-Cut-Diamond-Engagement-Ring-/390200045756?pt=US_Fine_Rings&hash=item5ad9bc30bc I can totally see you rocking this. If you like it email they seller and ask them if they will take 350 for it.
I'd be paying sales tax on this one too in addition to asking for a lower price. How secure are those 'flower' type settings, do you know?
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I think they're pretty secure actually. I really love it for you though. I think it's my favorite so far. Plus it's an OEC, and you have been wanting one.
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
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Gypsy|1317891323|3034449 said:
I think they're pretty secure actually. I really love it for you though. I think it's my favorite so far. Plus it's an OEC, and you have been wanting one.
I didn't want one until I saw YOUR thread, missy! *fist shake!* :lol:
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Galateia|1317891445|3034451 said:
Gypsy|1317891323|3034449 said:
I think they're pretty secure actually. I really love it for you though. I think it's my favorite so far. Plus it's an OEC, and you have been wanting one.
I didn't want one until I saw YOUR thread, missy! *fist shake!* :lol:
Sorry, sorry, sorry. But hey, I linked you to one in budget at least.

I like the one with the sapphires, but yeah, it's white metal. Saw it earlier today and thought it was intriguing then too.
 

galeteia

Brilliant_Rock
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Messages
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Gypsy|1317891635|3034453 said:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/190584554351?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2649 Wanna buy this with me. I want the diamond for my earrings but the ring is perfect for you!
:Up_to_something: Hmm well I am already at a budget of $350, so in 2 more months it would be at $750 ... :devil:
 

galeteia

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Gypsy

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Gypsy

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Galateia|1317892188|3034455 said:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Antique-Deco-Gold-Diamond-Engagement-Ring-Vintage-Fine-/360399055857?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item53e9752bf1

I wish more sellers would post full hand shots like this one, it looks so cute and dainty on the hand mannequin. Too small, though and 2 sizes on an antique setting is pushing it too far, I think.

I don't think two sizes on this design is too much. Do you like it?
 

Gypsy

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