Ring is ready! Only problem? I'm not crazy about it.

[diamondseeker2006]

The problem is, you are saying "meh" and you HAVEN'T SEEN THE RING!!!! Relax and be a little more optimistic! We are trying to tell you that rings look MUCH more delicate in person!

 

[decodelighted]

I need to just say this again - this setting, and the Bev K was the closest in SHAPE to the inspiration one that I can find. I saw the Bev K in person and didn't like it. I had to take a gamble on the Gabriel as it's all myself and GOG could come up with (other than a $4,000 custom) which is a lot of money for something made out of $200 worth of gold.

You do realize you're talking to folks in a JEWELRY FORUM. Try telling the CAR FORUM folks that their Rolls Royces & Lamborgini's are made from the same 2K of materials your Honda Civic is.

Also, jamming a 2 ct rock into that setting won't work and/or improve the aesthetics AT ALL.

 

[yopeyone]

I need to just say this again - this setting, and the Bev K was the closest in SHAPE to the inspiration one that I can find. I saw the Bev K in person and didn't like it. I had to take a gamble on the Gabriel as it's all myself and GOG could come up with (other than a $4,000 custom) which is a lot of money for something made out of $200 worth of gold.

You do realize you're talking to folks in a JEWELRY FORUM. Try telling the CAR FORUM folks that their Rolls Royces & Lamborgini's are made from the same 2K of materials your Honda Civic is.

Also, jamming a 2 ct rock into that setting won't work and/or improve the aesthetics AT ALL.

I understand that, and I knew that going into it. Where my judgement failed me is when I tried to envision the stone I chose on the halo I chose. I was debating between a regular cushion over 1.7 cts and this (much) smaller AVC (as AVC's carry quite a premium). They were around the same price.

Just spoke to them again:

1) They don't recommend rhodium plating the top of the halo [so this is out]
2) A larger diamond will not fit the halo [so this is out]

They did generously offer to buy back the Gabriel setting for $500 - significantly lower price than I paid - but something they didn't have to do. I really appreciate this offer, but the setting I'd end up getting instead would set me back over 3k, bringing my total cost for this ring up to $15,000. Possibly the highest price ever paid for ring with a diamond of that size & specs. I wouldn't be able to stomach being the worst shopper in world history; knowing I overpaid due to a stupid mistake.

So my options are either see it in person and hope I fall in love with it or 2) pay a lot of money to make it right -whether this means consigning & starting over or something else.

 

[Laila619]

That is very nice of them. You could also try selling the setting yourself and see if you get more than $500.

I don't understand why a new setting would have to cost a ton. You could still stick with a Gabriel and Co. setting, but just pick a less bulky one. We could help you.

BUT I would still SEE the ring first, since in person it will not look as bulky as the photo!! So hang in there and let's see what it looks like in person!

 

[yopeyone]

That is very nice of them. You could also try selling the setting yourself and see if you get more than $500.

I don't understand why a new setting would have to cost a ton. You could still stick with a Gabriel and Co. setting, but just pick a less bulky one. We could help you.

BUT I would still SEE the ring first, since in person it will not look as bulky as the photo!! So hang in there and let's see what it looks like in person!

Well, the stipulation is that they'll give me a $500 credit TOWARDS their custom made halo, "the perfect halo". This costs something like $3700-4000. Not sure exactly, but a lot.

I also asked about changing JUST THE HALO, but they said it can't be done.

I'll need to see it in person and decide whether or not to keep it.

 

[Laila619]

That is very nice of them. You could also try selling the setting yourself and see if you get more than $500.

I don't understand why a new setting would have to cost a ton. You could still stick with a Gabriel and Co. setting, but just pick a less bulky one. We could help you.

BUT I would still SEE the ring first, since in person it will not look as bulky as the photo!! So hang in there and let's see what it looks like in person!

Well, the stipulation is that they'll give me a $500 credit TOWARDS their custom made halo, "the perfect halo". This costs something like $3700-4000. Not sure exactly, but a lot.

I also asked about changing JUST THE HALO, but they said it can't be done.

I'll need to see it in person and decide whether or not to keep it.

Oh, I see. No, I wouldn't do that either.

 

[yopeyone]

That is very nice of them. You could also try selling the setting yourself and see if you get more than $500.

I don't understand why a new setting would have to cost a ton. You could still stick with a Gabriel and Co. setting, but just pick a less bulky one. We could help you.

BUT I would still SEE the ring first, since in person it will not look as bulky as the photo!! So hang in there and let's see what it looks like in person!

Well, the stipulation is that they'll give me a $500 credit TOWARDS their custom made halo, "the perfect halo". This costs something like $3700-4000. Not sure exactly, but a lot.

I also asked about changing JUST THE HALO, but they said it can't be done.

I'll need to see it in person and decide whether or not to keep it.

Oh, I see. No, I wouldn't do that either.

Exactly. I just wish there was SOME solution. I have less than 2 months now, so starting over is a risk.

 

[chrono]

Based on your current options, I would present the ring as is.

 

[yssie]

They did generously offer to buy back the Gabriel setting for $500 - significantly lower price than I paid - but something they didn't have to do. I really appreciate this offer, but the setting I'd end up getting instead would set me back over 3k, bringing my total cost for this ring up to $15,000. Possibly the highest price ever paid for ring with a diamond of that size & specs. I wouldn't be able to stomach being the worst shopper in world history; knowing I overpaid due to a stupid mistake.

I'm confused. Do you regret choosing the AVC as well, or are you happy with the stone? As you said, branded stones carry premiums, in this case the branding comes with a guarantee of a certain type and quality of light return as well, and at one point you clearly felt those things were worth the premium..

Two issues:

1. I completely agree with Gypsy, DS, and Chrono here -- it's DONE now, and for all you know your SO could adore it just the way it is, so before you dive down the rabbit hole looking for alternatives it'd probably be best to find out how she feels!!

2. I honestly think the problem is your expectations - I think PS has skewed them. Here on PS we look at the Stone and the Setting as separate entities but outside PS no-one makes that distinction - the ring is the total package, the aggregate of stone and setting. Here on PS we nitpick over every last characteristic of the stone, outside PS all anyone will ever notice is "ooh look sparkly!!". The stone is just fine, if your priorities include branding and the particular flavour of light return that AVCs espouse - I *really* don't think the stone is the problem. I think the problem is that before, you were seeing the stone, and then you were seeing the setting separately, and it's easier to compromise in one aspect (setting) and expect that excellence in the other (stone) will overshadow it... now you're seeing the stone+setting as a total package and, well, you're disappointed by the compromises you made. It happens.

Like Chrono said, yes, custom work is expensive, but there's a reason many PSers who want a piece with excellent pave work and proportionality go that route. I do think that in your case, if you decide to pursue alternatives before showing her the ring, a lower-quality stone in a masterful setting would be a compromise you'll be happier with.

3. BUT again, it's DONE now, and for all you know your SO could adore it just the way it is, so before you dive down the rabbit hole looking for alternatives it'd probably be best to find out how she feels!!

 

[yopeyone]

I did not regret going the AVC route until seeing the finished package. Now I do. I just think it looks small in this setting.

I should have done one of these two things:
1) Get a larger non branded stone in the Gabriel
2) Get the AVC in a designer setting

Here's the exact stone in a thinner setting (pinky). I would have never thought that a bigger setting would make the stone somehow look *smaller*. The other stone I was looking at is on the other finger - the stone I now wish I purchased.

 

[yssie]

ETA

 

[yopeyone]

I did not regret going the AVC route until seeing the finished package. Now I do. I just think it looks small in this setting.

I should have done one of these two things:
1) Get a larger non branded stone in the Gabriel
2) Get the AVC in a designer setting

1. Which of those two appeals to you more now?
2. Are you leaning more toward adjusting it before showing it to her, or showing it to her and seeing what she thinks?
3. Is she the sort who won't be happy with it if she knows that you're not happy with it?
(necessitating changing it to something you're happy with before proposing)

Here's the exact stone in a thinner setting (pinky) It's lovely, and IMO looks very "high-end". I would have never thought that a bigger setting would make the stone somehow look *smaller*. The other stone I was looking at is on the other finger - the stone I now wish I purchased. Well, hate to say it but that's exactly what Gypsy foresaw - or rather, one of the issues she anticipated, and why she recommended the BevK with the more delicate halo portion of the ring specifically...she has a *really* good eye for settings...

Honestly, I think I'd like to just get the bigger stone at this point. I'm more comfortable spending on essentially a commodity (diamonds), than craftsmanship in a $4,000 setting (I do admire it though).

GOG had a limited stock that matched the type of setting I was after, so we then just cruised Gabriel's website while there. We found one that looked close to the pink one on the first page, and went with it. I didn't spend enough time on the setting & thinking about how it would look with the rock I chose.

And again, I did look at Gypsy's suggestion - I hated it. I was trying to be nice on here but I'll be honest - the halo was a little thinner but overall, it looked cheap IMO. It had no character. It wasn't an option.

 

[yssie]

Editing the edit,

 

[chrono]

Getting a bigger stone now means losing $$$ on the setting AND having to fork out more money (again) for a suitable setting.

 

[yopeyone]

Getting a bigger stone now means losing $$$ on the setting AND having to fork out more money (again) for a suitable setting.

It's a lose-lose situation. I f'd up, made an uninformed decision, and now I have to pay thousands to correct it. I was hoping for a solution from GOG but there doesn't seem to be a viable one that's not going to cost a ton of money.

I'm not made of money here, so basically, any option is a bad one.

 

[yssie]

Honestly, I think I'd like to just get the bigger stone at this point. I'm more comfortable spending on essentially a commodity (diamonds), than craftsmanship in a $4,000 setting (I do admire it though).

Okay. This *may* not be the dead end it seems to be... let's poke around a bit and make sure we've got every single option on the table.

GOG had a limited stock that matched the type of setting I was after, so we then just cruised Gabriel's website while there. We found one that looked close to the pink one on the first page, and went with it. I didn't spend enough time on the setting & thinking about how it would look with the rock I chose.

And again, I did look at Gypsy's suggestion - I hated it. I was trying to be nice on here but I'll be honest - the halo was a little thinner but overall, it looked cheap IMO. It had no character. It wasn't an option.

I edited my last response to take out the snark - I'm sorry you caught it. This is the edit of the edit to address your last post as well -

One of the reasons that input from people like Gypsy is so valuable is because she's been there & done that herself, she's helped innumerable other newcomers navigate the process, and she has a really good understanding of *how* to balance stone & setting to create a Total Package that the new consumer is happy with, based on the priorities that he/she has expressed. As you've unfortunately discovered it's not always as easy as "choose stone you like", "choose setting you like", "put 'em together" - they're too interdependent to be treated as separate entities, and compromises need to take as little away from the total package as possible - even if that means compromising more in one aspect than you might expect if you see them independently.... and, of course, the more particular a consumer you are, the more important considering those interdependencies first and foremost becomes! I dunno if I'm making sense here...?

Back to your situation specifically, you saw the setting and you hated it and that's fine - in fact, that's really good info to have. If you decide to reset, and If Gypsy decides to contribute, I would strongly suggest that you outline exactly what about the setting you hated - make a list - and ask her to help you balance those dislikes with the reasons she so strongly recommended it, and have her help you find some alternative that's a good compromise. There are lots of others who can help but she's the expert, and there's a reason for that, so here's to hoping this saga hasn't pissed her off beyond redemption.

 

[decodelighted]

Are you within the 30 day return period for the stone? It doesn't seem like you like the stone & wish you'd gone larger. Perhaps you should return the stone, buy a larger one & present it in a simple $250 solitare & let her design something like the inspiration setting later when you've recovered financially?

 

[yopeyone]

Are you within the 30 day return period for the stone? It doesn't seem like you like the stone & wish you'd gone larger. Perhaps you should return the stone, buy a larger one & present it in a simple $250 solitare & let her design something like the inspiration setting later when you've recovered financially?

The thing is, I know exactly what she wants based on the original picture. I'd rather just get that off the bat.

It's not about the need to recover financially - if i didn't have a couple grand laying around i'd have been irresponsible buying a $12k ring. It's about not wanting to get screwed over and getting stuck with something I dislike and being punished with no viable options.

 

[yopeyone]

Honestly, I think I'd like to just get the bigger stone at this point. I'm more comfortable spending on essentially a commodity (diamonds), than craftsmanship in a $4,000 setting (I do admire it though).

Okay. This *may* not be the dead end it seems to be... let's poke around a bit and make sure we've got every single option on the table.

GOG had a limited stock that matched the type of setting I was after, so we then just cruised Gabriel's website while there. We found one that looked close to the pink one on the first page, and went with it. I didn't spend enough time on the setting & thinking about how it would look with the rock I chose.

And again, I did look at Gypsy's suggestion - I hated it. I was trying to be nice on here but I'll be honest - the halo was a little thinner but overall, it looked cheap IMO. It had no character. It wasn't an option.

I edited my last response to take out the snark - I'm sorry you caught it. This is the edit of the edit to address your last post as well -

One of the reasons that input from people like Gypsy is so valuable is because she's been there & done that herself, she's helped innumerable other newcomers navigate the process, and she has a really good understanding of *how* to balance stone & setting to create a Total Package that the new consumer is happy with, based on the priorities that he/she has expressed. As you've unfortunately discovered it's not always as easy as "choose stone you like", "choose setting you like", "put 'em together" - they're too interdependent to be treated as separate entities, and compromises need to take as little away from the total package as possible - even if that means compromising more in one aspect than you might expect if you see them independently.... and, of course, the more particular a consumer you are, the more important considering those interdependencies first and foremost becomes! I dunno if I'm making sense here...?

Back to your situation specifically, you saw the setting and you hated it and that's fine - in fact, that's really good info to have. If you decide to reset, and If Gypsy decides to contribute, I would strongly suggest that you outline exactly what about the setting you hated - make a list - and ask her to help you balance those dislikes with the reasons she so strongly recommended it, and have her help you find some alternative that's a good compromise. There are lots of others who can help but she's the expert, and there's a reason for that, so here's to hoping this saga hasn't pissed her off beyond redemption.

Look - if Gypsy comes around and gives me a suggestion i'd be really grateful. I'm grateful for everybody's help here.

 

[chrono]

Let me get this straight in my mind - you are looking for a larger stone now? A bigger AVC or a bigger unbranded cushion? Are you still within the return period for the stone? If going this route, the setting is a total loss, unless you sell it yourself. Or are you just looking for a better suited setting?

 

[VRBeauty]

I know you have your girlfriend's best interests at heart, but... this sure seems like a lot of sturm and drang over a ring that you haven't yet seen in person.

 

[Rhea]

Everyone who has white gold rings eventually has to get them rhodium plated so it is no big deal.

Not everyone. My original engagement ring as well as my 2nd diamond ring are both white and I can't tell the difference between when I received them and now. Maybe if I compared them side by side I'd notice, but over the years I haven't noticed an increasing amount of yellow, though I understand plating over another colour is a different situation. I've never quite understood the plating issue myself and think it falsely makes white gold unpopular. Yes, it's slightly less "white" than new platinum, but it's also more white than platinum with a patina.

 

[yssie]

Okay. Options.

Have you seen the ring in-person yet? If not, PLEASE try to stop worrying until you can find out how you feel about it IRL. There IS a chance that you'll love it IRL, pictures really do lie sometimes - they exaggerate some details and diminish others, and that can add up to something that's not entirely representative of the actual aesthetic.

IF you've seen it IRL and you don't like it, do you think *she* would pick up on the fact that you aren't a huge fan, and if so, do you think it'll affect her enjoyment of it? What I'm really asking is if you think ithe fact that you're upset will upset her enough that it'd be better to deal with it yourself before giving it to her. I ask because I'm the sort of person who just can't enjoy jewellery that my DH doesn't like, so... I guess some women are wired that way and some aren't! If she isn't, show her the ring and get her input before doing anything drastic. If she is, I do think something's going to have to change so that *you're* happy with it.

It sounds like you won't be fully satisfied with the AVC in a daintier setting, that you'll regret not choosing the larger modern cushion, is that correct? If so, and if you're within GOG's return period as Deco suggested, you can either return the stone and start over elsewhere or you can trade it for something else. Another option *might* be selling the stone to a different vendor who has a wider variety of settings options, but this gets a lot more complicated...

If you do everything in-house with one vendor and you make some speedy decisions the 2month timeframe should be doable. But you're going to have to decide NOW if you want a custom setting.

 

[Rhea]

Getting a bigger stone now means losing $$$ on the setting AND having to fork out more money (again) for a suitable setting.

It's a lose-lose situation. I f'd up, made an uninformed decision, and now I have to pay thousands to correct it. I was hoping for a solution from GOG but there doesn't seem to be a viable one that's not going to cost a ton of money.

I'm not made of money here, so basically, any option is a bad one.

I think that you're over-reacting. It's a ring. You're proposing to a woman and asking her to spend her life with you. It's sparkly. Most women, PS'ers or not, are likely to say "Oh my god, Yes! Yes!! YES!"

You're analyzing a photo, a photo taken in a marco setting which shows every little detail. The real life may be completely different, one in which she sticks her finger in the sunlight, moving it slightly watching it sparkle.

Get the ring, look at it in person, propose, and then worry about it if she say that that she doesn't like it. Describing your engagement ring as a lose - lose situation is a sad state and makes me wonder if you don't just have a bit of buyer's remorse. Your girlfriend will want the perfect ring no doubt, but she'll also want to think you were happy and had fun picking it out. Turn this into a good story. If she doesn't like it, then worry about it and pick it out together.

And I completely disagree that you'll have to pay thousands to correct it. If necessary, sell the setting on your own and pick another setting, even from Gabriel & Co - or Beverly K, taking into consideration what you learned with this one.

 

[yopeyone]

Let me get this straight in my mind - you are looking for a larger stone now? A bigger AVC or a bigger unbranded cushion? Are you still within the return period for the stone? If going this route, the setting is a total loss, unless you sell it yourself. Or are you just looking for a better suited setting?

Well, I'm saying i should have gotten the larger unbranded stone I was looking at. I can't afford a larger AVC - they're too expensive. I know it would be stupid to do it now because i'd take a huge hit on the setting.

 

[yopeyone]

Okay. Options.

Have you seen the ring in-person yet? If not, PLEASE try to stop worrying until you can find out how you feel about it IRL. There IS a chance that you'll love it IRL, pictures really do lie sometimes - they exaggerate some details and diminish others, and that can add up to something that's not entirely representative of the actual aesthetic.

IF you've seen it IRL and you don't like it, do you think *she* would pick up on the fact that you aren't a huge fan, and if so, do you think it'll affect her enjoyment of it? What I'm really asking is if you think ithe fact that you're upset will upset her enough that it'd be better to deal with it yourself before giving it to her. I ask because I'm the sort of person who just can't enjoy jewellery that my DH doesn't like, so... I guess some women are wired that way and some aren't! If she isn't, show her the ring and get her input before doing anything drastic. If she is, I do think something's going to have to change so that *you're* happy with it.

It sounds like you won't be fully satisfied with the AVC in a daintier setting, that you'll regret not choosing the larger modern cushion, is that correct? If so, and if you're within GOG's return period as Deco suggested, you can either return the stone and start over elsewhere or you can trade it for something else. Another option *might* be selling the stone to a different vendor who has a wider variety of settings options, but this gets a lot more complicated...

If you do everything in-house with one vendor and you make some speedy decisions the 2month timeframe should be doable. But you're going to have to decide NOW if you want a custom setting.

I'll see it tomorrow. I'm hoping my feelings are alleviated.

If the AVC & dainty setting was my original choice, i'd be satisfied. But knowing that I lost out on a couple grand (original setting) is going to make upgrading the setting hard to swallow.

If she thought I didn't like it, she would probably not like it either. So I need to make sure I'm comfortable with it first.

If I don't like it in person, I want to do the option that makes it right for the least amount of money (bigger rock or smaller setting).

 

[LibbyLA]

yopeyone,

The ring is going to look MUCH more delicate in real life than it does in the photo. The photos are huge compared to the real thing and you do see lots of details in the photos that you won't see for real. Don't panic. And do give yourself credit for getting a much nicer ring (both diamond and setting) than the typical shopper who goes to the "maul" stores.

The gallery is beautiful and different.

Also, photos just do not catch how beautiful and sparkly the diamonds are. I think there are things that you are seeing in the photo that you will not see in real life because the sparkles will be catching your eye. Any of us who have photographed our diamonds know that the pictures just don't do the jewelry justice.

liz

 

[yopeyone]

Getting a bigger stone now means losing $$$ on the setting AND having to fork out more money (again) for a suitable setting.

It's a lose-lose situation. I f'd up, made an uninformed decision, and now I have to pay thousands to correct it. I was hoping for a solution from GOG but there doesn't seem to be a viable one that's not going to cost a ton of money.

I'm not made of money here, so basically, any option is a bad one.

I think that you're over-reacting. It's a ring. You're proposing to a woman and asking her to spend her life with you. It's sparkly. Most women, PS'ers or not, are likely to say "Oh my god, Yes! Yes!! YES!"

You're analyzing a photo, a photo taken in a marco setting which shows every little detail. The real life may be completely different, one in which she sticks her finger in the sunlight, moving it slightly watching it sparkle.

Get the ring, look at it in person, propose, and then worry about it if she say that that she doesn't like it. Describing your engagement ring as a lose - lose situation is a sad state and makes me wonder if you don't just have a bit of buyer's remorse. Your girlfriend will want the perfect ring no doubt, but she'll also want to think you were happy and had fun picking it out. Turn this into a good story. If she doesn't like it, then worry about it and pick it out together.

And I completely disagree that you'll have to pay thousands to correct it. If necessary, sell the setting on your own and pick another setting, even from Gabriel & Co - or Beverly K, taking into consideration what you learned with this one.

Buyers remorse in the sense that I should have spent MORE money to get something better, yes. If you're implying something else, no. I'm talking about the ring itself as an object, not what it represents. That's something separate.

Yes, it's just a ring. But it's a $12,000 ring. For that kind of money, I want satisfaction.

 

[Rhea]

Getting a bigger stone now means losing $$$ on the setting AND having to fork out more money (again) for a suitable setting.

It's a lose-lose situation. I f'd up, made an uninformed decision, and now I have to pay thousands to correct it. I was hoping for a solution from GOG but there doesn't seem to be a viable one that's not going to cost a ton of money.

I'm not made of money here, so basically, any option is a bad one.

I think that you're over-reacting. It's a ring. You're proposing to a woman and asking her to spend her life with you. It's sparkly. Most women, PS'ers or not, are likely to say "Oh my god, Yes! Yes!! YES!"

You're analyzing a photo, a photo taken in a marco setting which shows every little detail. The real life may be completely different, one in which she sticks her finger in the sunlight, moving it slightly watching it sparkle.

Get the ring, look at it in person, propose, and then worry about it if she say that that she doesn't like it. Describing your engagement ring as a lose - lose situation is a sad state and makes me wonder if you don't just have a bit of buyer's remorse. Your girlfriend will want the perfect ring no doubt, but she'll also want to think you were happy and had fun picking it out. Turn this into a good story. If she doesn't like it, then worry about it and pick it out together.

And I completely disagree that you'll have to pay thousands to correct it. If necessary, sell the setting on your own and pick another setting, even from Gabriel & Co - or Beverly K, taking into consideration what you learned with this one.

Buyers remorse in the sense that I should have spent MORE money to get something better, yes. If you're implying something else, no. I'm talking about the ring itself as an object, not what it represents. That's something separate.

Yes, it's just a ring. But it's a $12,000 ring. For that kind of money, I want satisfaction.

I wasn't implying anything, I said exactly what I meant with no undertones. I think that spending $12,000 is a big deal and yes, you want satisfaction, but it's easy to be disappointed with any detail - little or not - after spending that amount of money. See it in person first and then make a decision.

 

[chrono]

All right, let's chill and wait until you see the ring tomorrow. No use in worrying about it now since it is on its way to you. Once you've seen it, then we'll go from there.