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Reserving a date...timing help!

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
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4,946
Timing help? Anybody?

We decided we want to put down our names for a ceremony space we toured last weekend! In order to do so, we have to tell the lady some details that we have no idea how to select.

You have to have a minimum reservation of 2 hours. We are going to go with 3 hours because it's not that much more costly and it will give us more flexibility if running late and/or for pictures so that we don't have to worry about rushing.

Well. We need to tell the lady what three hours to reserve. She also would like to know the tentative ceremony start time. We are thinking 11 am-2 pm for the reservation. I can't imagine the ceremony taking more than 30 minutes total.

We are undecided about whether we want to see each other before the ceremony to take pictures first so we can all go straight to the reception more/less together immediately after (reception at a secondary location about 3 miles/10 minute max drive away).

Help?
 

BriBee

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2007
Messages
656
I like the idea of pictures before the ceremony. FI and I discussed that and I think we're going to go that way because after the ceremony we will be ready to party! :bigsmile:

One thing I would say is that a timeline of 11am-2pm might be a bit early? This is just speaking from my own preference and experience... There is a LOT going on the morning of the wedding and with people getting ready and everything, 11am can come really quickly. But maybe you're an early-bird and this works for you. If it was me I'd want something a little later so I could sleep in and relax and make sure there is no rush. Plus, if you do pictures before, then you might have to be camera ready by 9 or 10.

ETA: I might have misunderstood...is the 11-2 only for the ceremony space? And this would include picture time? If so, then I think this timeline is good, but I'd still probably make it a little later than 11, like maybe 12-3, or 1-3 if you could go back to a two hour window.
 

StacylikesSparkles

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 8, 2011
Messages
1,304
Are you having bridesmaids/groomsmen? If so, I suggest getting pictures before the ceremony so you can enjoy more of you reception. If you would like a nice little 'first look' with Andrew, I tend to think those pictures are ADORABLE! 3 hours sounds perfect though and allows plenty of time to get there any get everything in order, have the ceremony and clean up whatever you need to.
 

BriBee

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Messages
656
BTW....does this mean you have a date???? :bigsmile:
And then I'll be all alone in the ??/??/?? category ;(
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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We aren't planning on having any bridesmaids/groomsmen/flower girls/etc. No bridal party whatsoever. Our guest list is under 40 including the two of us.

I know later would be more convenient, but we are pretty adamant about not wanting an evening/dinner wedding/reception. We are not dinner/dancing people and a family lunch is much more our style.

Yes, the 11-2 reservation would be ceremony space only and for pictures and ceremony only. The reception space is about 3 miles/10 minute drive from the ceremony location. There, we will be serving a full meal and having cake, background music, mingling. No dancing. We would like to see things wrapped up altogether by 5-6pm at the latest so that we can enjoy our evening together without being exhausted.

The only people we have to worry about getting ready are the two of us. Guys are easy. Hair/makeup for me.

The ceremony space has a TON of restrictions on decorating and, quite frankly, it's amazingly beautiful all by itself and we likely won't add anything to it. So no set up/take down necessary there.

The reception we are planning is at a restaurant that is normally closed on the day we will be having our wedding. They will be opening just for us and we don't have any hard time restrictions for a schedule with them.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
BeeCushion|1364933134|3418781 said:
BTW....does this mean you have a date???? :bigsmile:
And then I'll be all alone in the ??/??/?? category ;(
Hah, we have a tentative date! But the space doesn't take contracts until 12 months out and we're a few weeks from that. I won't be saying anything is official until we have a signed contract! We are aiming for Sunday, 4/27/14, though!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
FancyPantsSparkles|1364931820|3418755 said:
Are you having bridesmaids/groomsmen? If so, I suggest getting pictures before the ceremony so you can enjoy more of you reception. If you would like a nice little 'first look' with Andrew, I tend to think those pictures are ADORABLE! 3 hours sounds perfect though and allows plenty of time to get there any get everything in order, have the ceremony and clean up whatever you need to.
And I agree! I think first look photos are adorable. And a great way to get the nerves/jitters out just before hand! We had been planning to elope and would have, in that scenario, been getting ready together. I don't really see any issues with seeing each other before hand. I'll leave it up to him, though, as to whether he really wants to wait to see me coming up the aisle.

IF he is okay with a first look, I'm thinking reserve the space 11-2. Andrew and I do First Look/couple photos from 11-12ish. Ceremony from 1230-1pm. Family/posed portraits with us from 1-2. Head to reception space. Reception 2-5ish. Late lunch.

I'll have my sisters and some close friends in town. I can have them pop over to the reception space to make sure it's set up and ready to go while I'm getting ready. Since it'll be at a restaurant, we will only be adding minimal touches (small centerpieces). Everything else will be set up for us by the staff in advance (table/chair placement, etc) per our instructions.

Thoughts?
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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4,946
Ok, I chatted with a friend about it on the phone just now. Assuming Andrew is okay with doing a first look, this is what we came up with:

Reserve the ceremony space from 11am-2pm and the reception space from 2pm-6pm.

First look at 11am. Just the two of us. Couple photos from 11am-12pm at the ceremony location.

Have my family members show up at 12pm for my side of the family photos from 12-12:20pm.

Have Andrew's family members show up at 12:20 for his side of the family photos from 12:20-12:40pm.

Have our friends show up at 12:40 for friends photos from 12:40-1:00pm.

Ceremony will start at 1:15pm. Ceremony end at 1:30ish. Have 15-30 minutes left of our reserved space to take a few large group photos inside and outside (of all our guests together).

Have the guests head over to the reception space (we'll make sure my BFF/would be MOH if we were doing a bridal party goes over as quickly as possible to make sure that she can direct everyone as to where to go once at the reception location). I'll have had it set up earlier in the day (or the night before) or delegate someone to do so depending on what the restaurant management will allow (they've been SUPER flexible with us and our needs).

The guests can get into the reception space and get their place cards, drop off gifts/cards if they elected to bring one, sign the guest book, look at engagement photos we'd have on display, get drinks, and mingle in a "cocktail hour" sort of time frame while we take some couple only photos outside the restaurant in the downtown area.

We could then "be announced" (probably by a friend since we don't plan to have a DJ) to come into the reception and probably do a first dance to officially begin the reception. We'd get seated at our sweetheart table and get the food courses going. We'd be able to mingle and chat between courses and even snag some people (siblings, parents, friends) outside here and there for a few photos of our guests in the downtown area.

At the end of the food courses, we'd cut our cake, and be able to serve it as the dessert course with coffee/tea.

Do the send off. Leave my BFFs and sisters to pack up the few simple centerpieces, collect our photos, guest book, gifts, etc. and hold on to them for us until we return from whatever honeymoon we take.

What do you guys think of that?
 

BriBee

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Messages
656
After reading your plans I think it sounds perfect. If you aren't having a bridal party then there will be MUCH less stress to get ready in the morning. As of your last post it sounds like you have it all planned out, and as long as you leave yourself a little time cushion I think it's a great timeline.

ETA: And if you're planning on a Sunday I think your timeline is even better since you'll have everything wrapped up nice and early.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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BeeCushion|1364940890|3418864 said:
After reading your plans I think it sounds perfect. If you aren't having a bridal party then there will be MUCH less stress to get ready in the morning. As of your last post it sounds like you have it all planned out, and as long as you leave yourself a little time cushion I think it's a great timeline.

ETA: And if you're planning on a Sunday I think your timeline is even better since you'll have everything wrapped up nice and early.
We are planning for a Sunday (4/27/14).

Talked it over with the FI at dinner tonight. He likes the timeline I posted above but agrees with a few of the concerns some friends have expressed.

1) as it is, our timeline goes right through a traditional lunch time with no meal happening until ~3pm.
2) taking pictures for nearly 2 hours BEFORE the ceremony can be quite tiring.

There seem to be only two possible solutions to absolve these issues:
1) push our whole timeline for the day back by ~2 hours. (ie: ceremony reservation 1-4pm, reception 4-7pm).
2) split up the picture taking. ie: still do a first look and have a majority of our couple photos taken prior to the ceremony, but take the posed family portraits afterwards.

The other thought we had is that the food we plan to serve at the restaurant we've selected is very "dinnery" and moving to this timeline will have the food served at a traditional dinner time (on the early side, but still). In this scenario, we'd still end the evening pretty early (definitely not later than 8pm). Seeing as how most weddings/receptions go much later (with ceremonies starting ~5pm and receptions going to the wee hours), this still seems to achieve our desired overall feel for our day.

Not to mention, it gives us more getting ready time in the morning and more flexibility in setting up the reception space (ie: my BFF could do it while we're doing the first look OR she could do it after the ceremony while we're doing family pictures).

What do you guys think about this scenario?
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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4,946
Also - Andrew was totally fine with the idea of doing a first look. The only thing he's adamant about is that he wants to see me walking down the aisle, but that that doesn't have to be the first time he's seen me that day. This came about because I'd (at some point awhile ago) read on OBB that some couples are choosing to walk in together as a testament to them making the choice to get married together (as opposed to being given away). He likes the concept, but wants to actually see me walking in. That was stuck in my head making me think he may be anti-first look, but I interpreted his thoughts on that wrong.

I suggested that because I do NOT want my father to walk me down the aisle and haven't figured out how to tell my Dad. Walking in together would have been an easy out. But that's a tale for another day.

So yay, I think we'll be doing a first look!
 

StacylikesSparkles

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Just due to the timing interfering with mealtime, I like the later times you suggested.

Oh and YAY for first look photos!!! :appl:
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
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4,946
FancyPantsSparkles|1364993860|3419232 said:
Just due to the timing interfering with mealtime, I like the later times you suggested.

Oh and YAY for first look photos!!! :appl:
I agree. I did want it earlier in the day, but if everyone is hungry (including me) we'll be grumpy and irritable. Not to mention having it a bit later does give us more flexibility getting ready in the morning (and I'm NOT a morning person). Seems like it will be better all around.

And yes! I'm excited for first look photos. I just know I'm going to be a mess and I'd rather get the mess part over with and have time for touch ups before actually walking down the aisle. And Andrew just has a way of completely calming me to the core. I think just getting to be with him for a few minutes (let alone a whole hour to take picutres!) would be enough to completely center me and get rid of all the nerves.
 

StacylikesSparkles

Brilliant_Rock
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Before we got married, the plan was to spend the night before our wedding apart so it could be 'special'. Well with wedding stress and rehearsal stress and future MIL stress, all I wanted the night before our wedding was to sleep next to my almost husband. DH is so good and making me feel calm and safe and that was EXACTLY what I needed the night before our wedding! I completely understand wanting to have Andrew there to give you a wash of calm on your big day! Isn't it great that he'll be in your life to do that FOREVER?! :love:

Ha! Yeah, I had a few people I know join PS and while I'm not very hard to find, I wanted to make it just a little more difficult for them without having to completely start a new account. Worst case I'll start a new account if people get too nosy lol
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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FancyPantsSparkles|1364995821|3419245 said:
Before we got married, the plan was to spend the night before our wedding apart so it could be 'special'. Well with wedding stress and rehearsal stress and future MIL stress, all I wanted the night before our wedding was to sleep next to my almost husband. DH is so good and making me feel calm and safe and that was EXACTLY what I needed the night before our wedding! I completely understand wanting to have Andrew there to give you a wash of calm on your big day! Isn't it great that he'll be in your life to do that FOREVER?! :love:

Ha! Yeah, I had a few people I know join PS and while I'm not very hard to find, I wanted to make it just a little more difficult for them without having to completely start a new account. Worst case I'll start a new account if people get too nosy lol
EXACTLY! I can't freaking wait. :love:

And my lips are sealed! I'm just glad I "know" so I can still catch your posts!
 

StacylikesSparkles

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 8, 2011
Messages
1,304
audball|1364996053|3419251 said:
FancyPantsSparkles|1364995821|3419245 said:
Before we got married, the plan was to spend the night before our wedding apart so it could be 'special'. Well with wedding stress and rehearsal stress and future MIL stress, all I wanted the night before our wedding was to sleep next to my almost husband. DH is so good and making me feel calm and safe and that was EXACTLY what I needed the night before our wedding! I completely understand wanting to have Andrew there to give you a wash of calm on your big day! Isn't it great that he'll be in your life to do that FOREVER?! :love:

Ha! Yeah, I had a few people I know join PS and while I'm not very hard to find, I wanted to make it just a little more difficult for them without having to completely start a new account. Worst case I'll start a new account if people get too nosy lol
EXACTLY! I can't freaking wait. :love:

And my lips are sealed! I'm just glad I "know" so I can still catch your posts!

Thanks! ;-)
 

BriBee

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 11, 2007
Messages
656
Yay audball! It sounds like it's all coming together. I think it's a good idea to push it back and all of your reasoning made sense. I'm also NOT a morning person which is why I thought a later timeline would be better :bigsmile:

FancyPants thanks for sharing that story about the night before the wedding. I had always assumed FI and I would be apart, but when I mentioned it he thought that was a ridiculous idea! So I assumed we would spend it together, but then he assumed we'd be apart and last night it came up again (going over the budget and the cost of rooms etc...) and now we're all over the place! We're having our wedding local to where we live so it also seems silly to spend extra money on hotel rooms and things. So now I'm not sure what we're going to do, but I think I'd also prefer the idea of being together the night before as well.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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Messages
4,946
BeeCushion|1365007950|3419405 said:
Yay audball! It sounds like it's all coming together. I think it's a good idea to push it back and all of your reasoning made sense. I'm also NOT a morning person which is why I thought a later timeline would be better :bigsmile:

FancyPants thanks for sharing that story about the night before the wedding. I had always assumed FI and I would be apart, but when I mentioned it he thought that was a ridiculous idea! So I assumed we would spend it together, but then he assumed we'd be apart and last night it came up again (going over the budget and the cost of rooms etc...) and now we're all over the place! We're having our wedding local to where we live so it also seems silly to spend extra money on hotel rooms and things. So now I'm not sure what we're going to do, but I think I'd also prefer the idea of being together the night before as well.
Thanks! I think this is a good plan for us, too.

And I'm with you both on staying together the night before. I do want to get ready separately so we can have a true "first look" moment, but I kind of picture us getting up together and having a quiet breakfast together before getting on with the bustle of the day. :love:

If we go with this venue (which we think we will!) it's not in the town we live in (just a few hours north, near my family). We'd be staying in a hotel room the night before (where I'd likely get ready) and we'd probably have him get ready in one of his family's rooms (who will all be in from out of town as well).
 

StacylikesSparkles

Brilliant_Rock
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DH thought I was a little nuts about wanting to spend that night apart since we live together. I had this whole plan that I was going to stay with both of my MOH's at my parent's house that night and it be a big thing with us all...nope! lol...my Mom tried to give me a hard time about it, but I felt and still feel so good about the decision to stay together. Sure, if it wasn't craziness the day before the wedding I can see a little sleepover with my girls being a great idea! But I knew that I would get no sleep unless I was next to my hubs. DH and I both showered at our house, then I went to my parents to get ready and he went to his parents to finish setting things up (we had the ceremony and reception at their farm). After I jumped out of the shower, I told him he couldn't look at me and I wouldn't look him directly in the eye...lmao..another one of those 'my (soon to be) wife is nuts' moments, and we definitely laugh about it now :)

Bee - If you can't stay with someone locally (your parents, BM's, etc) then I think sleeping together is not a bad thing at all!! Don't let people pressure you about that either! Aside from my Mom, no one else gave me any grief.

Aud - You'll have to tell Andrew not to look you in the eye! lmao :lol: :loopy:
 

star sparkle

Brilliant_Rock
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I like your revised timeline much better, aud! Sounds like the flow will be better for your wedding this way.

Re: the night before - it's so funny because my DH is usually SO un-traditional, but he was extremely adamant about not wanting to see me on our wedding day until I walked down the aisle. This means that we didn't stay together the night before, he stayed with his dad in his dad's hotel room and I stayed with my mom in the hotel room that was reserved for DH and I. I didn't care whether or not we saw each other beforehand but as it meant so much to him not to see me, that's how we planned our day.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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FancyPantsSparkles|1365009380|3419433 said:
Aud - You'll have to tell Andrew not to look you in the eye! lmao :lol: :loopy:
Haha, he'd laugh at me I'm sure! And then probably look right at me and say something all cheesy, like "but I can't take my eyes off you." Yeah, he makes me melt. :bigsmile:
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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star sparkle|1365010445|3419451 said:
I like your revised timeline much better, aud! Sounds like the flow will be better for your wedding this way.

Re: the night before - it's so funny because my DH is usually SO un-traditional, but he was extremely adamant about not wanting to see me on our wedding day until I walked down the aisle. This means that we didn't stay together the night before, he stayed with his dad in his dad's hotel room and I stayed with my mom in the hotel room that was reserved for DH and I. I didn't care whether or not we saw each other beforehand but as it meant so much to him not to see me, that's how we planned our day.
Agreed. It seems like it will work much better for us this way. I left the first look deal up to Andrew because, like your DH, if he had been adamant about it, I wouldn't have pushed at all. But he thinks this makes sense and will make us both happy. So yay :) Now...I have to pinterest. Must find adorable first look idea!
 

StacylikesSparkles

Brilliant_Rock
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audball|1365010612|3419455 said:
FancyPantsSparkles|1365009380|3419433 said:
Aud - You'll have to tell Andrew not to look you in the eye! lmao :lol: :loopy:
Haha, he'd laugh at me I'm sure! And then probably look right at me and say something all cheesy, like "but I can't take my eyes off you." Yeah, he makes me melt. :bigsmile:
Seriously, it's the best feeling ever when you know you're with the right person! :appl: And being a big ol' dork (my DH is too and kept trying to get me to make eye-contact with him lmao) just makes me even happier for you two! I just love a guy who makes corny jokes! PS Don't tell my DH I called him a dork lol ;-)
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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FancyPantsSparkles|1365011451|3419472 said:
audball|1365010612|3419455 said:
FancyPantsSparkles|1365009380|3419433 said:
Aud - You'll have to tell Andrew not to look you in the eye! lmao :lol: :loopy:
Haha, he'd laugh at me I'm sure! And then probably look right at me and say something all cheesy, like "but I can't take my eyes off you." Yeah, he makes me melt. :bigsmile:
Seriously, it's the best feeling ever when you know you're with the right person! :appl: And being a big ol' dork (my DH is too and kept trying to get me to make eye-contact with him lmao) just makes me even happier for you two! I just love a guy who makes corny jokes! PS Don't tell my DH I called him a dork lol ;-)
It really is!

No worries, lots of secrets safe with me today! ;-)
 

star sparkle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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audball|1365010691|3419456 said:
Agreed. It seems like it will work much better for us this way. I left the first look deal up to Andrew because, like your DH, if he had been adamant about it, I wouldn't have pushed at all. But he thinks this makes sense and will make us both happy. So yay :) Now...I have to pinterest. Must find adorable first look idea!
Yay! I bet whatever photographer you choose will also have some good ideas, so make sure to ask them!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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star sparkle|1365011736|3419479 said:
audball|1365010691|3419456 said:
Agreed. It seems like it will work much better for us this way. I left the first look deal up to Andrew because, like your DH, if he had been adamant about it, I wouldn't have pushed at all. But he thinks this makes sense and will make us both happy. So yay :) Now...I have to pinterest. Must find adorable first look idea!
Yay! I bet whatever photographer you choose will also have some good ideas, so make sure to ask them!
I'm sure! I have found a few photographers that have done A LOT of weddings at the ceremony venue we're considering. I'd love to book one of them, but so far it looks like there a few hundred (~5-600) over what we'd budgeted for photography. We'll have to see what we can find!
 

star sparkle

Brilliant_Rock
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audball|1365011847|3419481 said:
I'm sure! I have found a few photographers that have done A LOT of weddings at the ceremony venue we're considering. I'd love to book one of them, but so far it looks like there a few hundred (~5-600) over what we'd budgeted for photography. We'll have to see what we can find!
If you love a certain photographer but they're out of budget, there's still no harm in contacting them and telling them what your budget is, and see if they can still work with you. Our photographer's least expensive package price was still a few hundred more than what we had wanted to spend, but I emailed him anyway and said that I loved his work and could he offer me anything at the price I was comfortable paying. He said yes, and gave us his least expensive package at our price instead of his. :lol:

Moral of the story - even if something is out of your budget, ask anyway!
 

StacylikesSparkles

Brilliant_Rock
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star sparkle|1365012708|3419496 said:
audball|1365011847|3419481 said:
I'm sure! I have found a few photographers that have done A LOT of weddings at the ceremony venue we're considering. I'd love to book one of them, but so far it looks like there a few hundred (~5-600) over what we'd budgeted for photography. We'll have to see what we can find!
If you love a certain photographer but they're out of budget, there's still no harm in contacting them and telling them what your budget is, and see if they can still work with you. Our photographer's least expensive package price was still a few hundred more than what we had wanted to spend, but I emailed him anyway and said that I loved his work and could he offer me anything at the price I was comfortable paying. He said yes, and gave us his least expensive package at our price instead of his. :lol:

Moral of the story - even if something is out of your budget, ask anyway!
Agreed! The same thing happened with us with our photographer. Her cheapest package was well over what I felt comfortable spending, so I gave her the amount that I wanted to spend and we got the most expensive package AT OUR PRICE!! :) I went into how I just couldn't justify spending so much money on one day, but that I really felt like she was the perfect person to make our wedding shots come out the way we wanted them...and she did! :) They are willing to work with you if you're nice and connect with them. She now has a customer for life and I plan to book her for a one year anniversary shoot and a maternity shoot when I get pregnant...and maybe a boudoir shot for the hubs as a nice anniversary present!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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Thanks ladies! I'll keep that in mind as we start shopping around!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
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So LOTS of talking over the weekend. Lots of vendor contacts. Lots of plans.

Ultimately, we're pretty set on pushing the date back to Fall 2014. Things are just costing more than we expected and we don't want to feel pressured or stressed. We also don't want to strap ourselves so tightly to this timeline that we can't even enjoy life in the meantime. So we're looking at October 2014 dates and (other than it being further out than we want) are quite happy with the decision.

We found a photographer we love and can't wait to work with (once we get the other bits figured out!). The ceremony and reception venues have been found so it's just a matter of saving and booking when we're a bit closer to the 1 year out mark.

OH! And I went to a bridal show with my FMIL this weekend just for fun. And DUDE! I won one of the grand prizes! A $500 gift certificate to Brides by Demetrios. I'm not sure I can actually afford a dress from there even with the credit, but at the very least I can get my accessories there! So that was really fun. I seriously never win anything.
 
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