Reason for spending $$$ on e-ring?

[larryjenkins]

Hi fellow PSers,

I'm kind of stuck in a bind and hoping men and women can chime in on this topic. The issue I'm having is that I have stretched my budget to purchase an e-ring that I thought should be good enough to find out that I need to bump up the color, hence stretching my already stretched budget even further.

So I ask, how important is an engagement ring to you? I know women usually switch to their wedding bands eventually so the e-ring may be put away in a safe. If that is the case, why am I spending so much money? I try my best to give her the best and that is the only reason I am stretching and stretching my budget, but otherwise, it's starting to not make any sense to me anymore. The budget in question has been 16k to 22k to 26k and possibly 29k now. It's completely nuts!

What is your reason for spending more on a quality ring and why is it important?

 

[JulieN]

You're on a diamond and jewelry forum.

Many women here have multiple rings, or if they only have one, it is the nth iteration of their engagement ring.

 

[Gypsy]

I think that budget increase is WOW crazy!

I totally don't blame you for being shocked and dismayed.

I did see your post in the other thread though, and you REALLY don't need to stick to D-E-F. Not if you are talking GIA or AGS graded stones. An ideal round G REALLY will be tint free when it is set and on the hand. Heck even in fancies a G is very white. Even radiants!

REALLY.

I can honestly, I WOULDN'T increase my budget that much! 22K is more than enough.

What are you looking for and where are you?

 

[larryjenkins]

Hey Gypsy!

I know face up, an ideal cut diamond is extremely hard to distinguish, but what about at angles? When I tilt the ring just a tiny bit, the whole stone becomes tinted, which I am not very fond of. Think moving just one step up to G will help much?

I think that budget increase is WOW crazy!

I totally don't blame you for being shocked and dismayed.

I did see your post in the other thread though, and you REALLY don't need to stick to D-E-F. Not if you are talking GIA or AGS graded stones. An ideal round G REALLY will be tint free when it is set and on the hand. Heck even in fancies a G is very white. Even radiants!

REALLY.

I can honestly, I WOULDN'T increase my budget that much! 22K is more than enough.

What are you looking for and where are you?

 

[Gypsy]

Hey Gypsy!

I know face up, an ideal cut diamond is extremely hard to distinguish, but what about at angles? When I tilt the ring just a tiny bit, the whole stone becomes tinted, which I am not very fond of. Think moving just one step up to G will help much?

I think that budget increase is WOW crazy!

I totally don't blame you for being shocked and dismayed.

I did see your post in the other thread though, and you REALLY don't need to stick to D-E-F. Not if you are talking GIA or AGS graded stones. An ideal round G REALLY will be tint free when it is set and on the hand. Heck even in fancies a G is very white. Even radiants!

REALLY.

I can honestly, I WOULDN'T increase my budget that much! 22K is more than enough.

What are you looking for and where are you?

I'd not sure what you are asking about the one step up. One step up from where?

It is important to remember is that color is graded FACE DOWN. Where there is NO light return. Not face up where there is light return and refraction. You wear diamonds set. FACE UP. Prongs covering up side of the stone. And you wear them ALONE or next to diamonds of similar color (sidestones should be within 2 color grades for best match).

Within one color grade, even the labs can't agree on the color grades of stones and something could be a "high" H or a "low" E. Within 2 color grades it is hard once set. Not impossible. But very hard. And it gets harder once set.

Generally we say to be conservative stay above H. But you will see slight tint in H from the side (and by that I mean full profile) and you won't see even that in a properly graded G.

Also please remember that diamonds reflect. Even my F looks full on tinted when I am in a room with beige walls, or when I wear a yellow shirt.

 

[Gypsy]

Also, you can go slightly down in size.

And what clarity are you at? Maybe we can take you down in clarity?

I am admittedly very money sensitive these days. So take my perspective with a grain of salt, but I wouldn't go dramatically increasing my budget for a couple steps in color.

 

[SB621]

Personally I wouldn't buy a ring i can' t afford or a ring that would be a hardship on my savings account. Have an honest converation with your future wife about expectations. That or has GYpsy suggested lower color, clarity or something else. Or get a smaller ring with a very good trade in/ up policey.

 

[MMtwo]

I would be concerned at the situation. A 22,000 ring is extremely generous, especially for a woman you have not yet married. Is she pushing the budget up or are you doing so? those are two very different situations.

I would have a talk to her and tell her if she marries you and makes you sammiches when you want them you might be talked into an upgrade at some point. Kinda just kidding with that.

Pick a number. Make the ring the best and brightest at that point and be happy. if it is not good enough for her, I would consider that a troubling situation and one to think about in regard to your future marriage. The pursuit for the best is always relative to the money you have to spend and can afford. Anything outside of your budget too far could cause feelings of regret, anger, resentment...a bad way to begin a marriage.

 

[Tekate]

I laughed when I read this.. next thought? Does Julie know me?

thanks! I'm on my 10th iteration btw.

You're on a diamond and jewelry forum.

Many women here have multiple rings, or if they only have one, it is the nth iteration of their engagement ring.

 

[mrs-b]

Agreed. To start at 16k and now to be considering 29k is nutty. STOP.

Let's assume 25k is your hard limit - and that's a VERY generous limit! You can get a BGD Signature 1.73 G SI1 stone for $20,562 after wiring, or a 1.7 G VS1 stone for $24,580 (all prices quoted will be after wiring where possible).

On James Allen you can also get a True Hearts 1.73 G VS2 for $20,730 and a whole bunch of E colored, VS clarity stones in the 1.5ct range for around 20k.

Good Old Gold isn't currently carrying anything with the specs you mentioned, though I'm sure it would be a trivial thing for them to get a stone in that met all your criteria.

The question is, though, what size is she after? If the color is somewhat negotiable (somewhere in the D - G range, I'm guessing), am I right in thinking you've been asked to provide a stone of a certain size? I have to tell you, a stone with ideal proportions in the 1.7+ range, G color and VS clarity is one heck of a stone. And to be honest, if size is the issue, set it in a halo setting - a HUGELY forgiving and misleading setting visually when it comes to size - and unless she's very familiar with diamonds, she probably couldn't tell you within half a carat - or more - what size it is!

I was recently at a hotel and a young woman who served me a drink was wearing a lovely diamond ring. I complimented her on it, then asked her to tell me a little about it. She said "It's 2 cts, I think - or maybe it was 2.7? And I think he said something about it being an E...or an H..." In the final analysis, most (not all - but most) people can't tell exactly what's on their finger past a certain point. If you bought an E or you bought a G, a VVS or a VS or even an eye clean SI, so long as they're great cuts, they're all going to look super sparkly and lovely. Put it in a halo setting and you're good to go.

If it were me, with a 25k budget and the sort of parameters I am guessing you've been given, I'd probably buy the James Allen stone (G VS2 1.73ct) at $20,730 which would then leave me a bit over 4k for a nice halo setting.

One thing I think is worth noting, though - NOT all women put them in a drawer and just wear their wedding rings. And there's a big difference between 'putting something in a drawer and forgetting about it' - and - 'putting it in a drawer and saving it for 'best'.' Something can live in a drawer 90% of the time and still be monumentally important.

The trick is to still be able to afford the drawer after you've bought the ring!

Wishing you the best of luck with your search and advising you to stay firm on your budget.

 

[TC1987]

The average e-ring diamond size in my area back in 2008-2009 was .5ct to .75ct. Here on PS, there have been a lot of .75ct -.8ct rings sold, with a budget of $3000 - $5000 total. $10,000 is probably a big budget for an e-ring. I don't know any woman who has a decent diamond e-ring who puts hers in a safe and doesn't wear it, unless she's in an occupation that won't allow a ring. Even those women wear their rings at home. The only people I've heard say they don't wear theirs ever are women with either poorly cut or very small diamonds like a .25 or .33ct, who'd like to have an upgraded ring but haven't gotten one.

I compromise on clarity. I don't need one that's totally eye clean. I am single, and I buy my own diamonds to my own liking, and thus I don't want to spend any more than necessary. You can't keep a ring 100% clean when it's worn, so why even waste money on a stone that's 100% clean inside? Dropping to SI2 got me a great stone that was literally half the price of the same size/color/cut except VS1 clarity.

eta: Back when I became engaged, I sent my now-ex husband to the local upscale pawn shop and estate jewelry dealer to get the ring. That was before Internet and PS, so all we had was brick & mortar stores. I got a real decent diamond that way, and it cost a lot less than any of the retail jewelers. Check out LoupeTroop and the Preloved section of PS, consignments, etc. for the center stone.

 

[mrs-b]

Wanted to come back to add - as per your question, my engagement ring is MASSIVELY important to me - and that's after many years of marriage and many years of wearing this particular ring - which was a gift from my husband a few years back.

But by the same token - it's an H SI1, a little over 2ct - and I consider us to have gotten a good deal for what we spent. Personally, I would have NO hesitation in buying a well cut H SI1 stone, which is what I consider to be the sweet spot for quality vs value. There is a 2.03ct H SI1 True Hearts cut stone on JA for $21,780. So long as it was an accurately graded H, and eye clean, I see no problems with it and a whole lot of good things about it. I think that JA guarantees their True Hearts line to be eye clean also. So if size is your issue, this would be a great way forward.

http://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut/2.03-carat-h-color-si1-clarity-excellent-cut-sku-267576

For what it's worth - I'm also attaching a photo of my ring. I think it's stunning - and I think you'll agree - no 'tint'.

 

[missy]

Hi fellow PSers,

I'm kind of stuck in a bind and hoping men and women can chime in on this topic. The issue I'm having is that I have stretched my budget to purchase an e-ring that I thought should be good enough to find out that I need to bump up the color, hence stretching my already stretched budget even further.

So I ask, how important is an engagement ring to you? I know women usually switch to their wedding bands eventually so the e-ring may be put away in a safe. If that is the case, why am I spending so much money? I try my best to give her the best and that is the only reason I am stretching and stretching my budget, but otherwise, it's starting to not make any sense to me anymore. The budget in question has been 16k to 22k to 26k and possibly 29k now. It's completely nuts!

What is your reason for spending more on a quality ring and why is it important?

Hi Larry, it's not so much the ER itself that is so important (though it does make me smile every day) but more so the fact that my dh wanted me to have the ring of my dreams and made that happen for me. And I wear my ER every single day and don't foresee putting it in a safe and just wearing a wedding band yanno? In fact most of my married friends wear their ER every day too and we have all been married a decade or longer. The ER is a visible part of our every day life.

You should never go beyond what you can comfortably afford and that is between the 2 of you. I don't think any of us can know what your budget should be except to say don't go over what you can comfortably spend and get your FI the "best" ring within that budget. That's all anyone could or should hope for IMO. But no way do I get some of the above comments that you shouldn't raise your budget to X +Y amount. We don't know your budgetary restraints because we don't know your finances. It's between you and your FI for sure. Sometimes we start out on a project thinking we want to spend X amount but realize we need to go to X + Y to get what we really want and if we can afford to do so I don't see the issue.

However you need to figure out what parameters are most important to the both of you and then with your set budget go from there. But your FI should definitely be able to share what she wants in her ER as you should be able to have a heart to heart with her about what you want to spend on the ring. In marriage (and any long term healthy relationship) communication is most definitely key and one should never compromise on communication. The ability to share your thoughts and feelings with each other is critical in a healthy and happy relationship IMO.

Congratulations on your engagement and all the best for a happy future!

 

[Polished]

never compromise on communication.

I love missy! Just when we thought Cut was the most important C not to compromise on when purchasing a diamond, we now learn it's Communication. So true.

I love my engagement ring it sure doesn't sit in a drawer! I preferred the up-grade later approach though - going through the process of knowing what I love, refining my taste; much more exciting for me than something blingy bestowed.

This thread might be interesting for you:

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/each-day-when-does-your-bling-give-you-a-needed-boost.199828/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/each-day-when-does-your-bling-give-you-a-needed-boost.199828/[/URL]

 

[baby monster]

An engagement ring was not important to me but I'm not your gf. We got married without rings 16yrs ago and i just got my first solitaire.

Why do you feel the need to increase your original budget? Can you buy the ring at 16k and then upgrade for anniversary?

 

[liaerfbv]

Personally I wouldn't buy a ring i can' t afford or a ring that would be a hardship on my savings account. Have an honest converation with your future wife about expectations. That or has GYpsy suggested lower color, clarity or something else. Or get a smaller ring with a very good trade in/ up policey.

Took the words right out of my mouth. You have a great budget, there's no need to spend more than you're comfortable with. Even your original budget of 16k would buy a beautiful ring. Talk to your gf and find a nice middle ground.

To answer your question - my e-ring is very important to me. I have a million wedding bands, I have no idea what I actually got married with, but my e-ring is worn daily, will be worn daily, I would never keep it in a safe! It's not about how much was spent on it.

 

[chrono]

Set your budget and stick to it. Make the best out of it or make compromises but do not overspend. It is only a token of your promise to her. There are always upgrades or more bling in the future. There will always be another diamond or ring that is bigger and better/nicer so where does it stop? As long as you have a sort of agreement/expectation that the two of you have agreed with, it isn't a good idea to go overboard or beyond your budget. There will be many other things you will need with that "extra" $10K, such as down payment for your future house.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Every woman I know in real life aside from this forum wears her engagement ring with a wedding band every day. I do not know anyone who has stopped wearing her engagement ring. I do not understand the idea of keeping an engagement ring in a safe deposit box. May as well sell it if the person doesn't care to ever wear it.

Yes, you need to go to G color. The vast majority of people here have diamonds in the near colorless G-J range because of the value and the fact that ideal cut stones face up so white. I certainly never saw tint from the side in my G stones. Only if you hold it next to a D would you see the difference. You also need to think about what you can really afford. For someone well off, $16k might be a very low amount to spend. On the other hand, $29k would be insane for someone who makes that amount of money in 6 months or who has $200k in student debt.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

This looks like a great stone at a compromise price (I saw that you were looking at WF in a previous thread):

http://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-2994230.htm ($19,560 with PS wire discount)

I am all for trying to buy what the woman really loves and getting the best quality stone within a budget. But we often see guys on here say that their girlfriend is expecting a 2 ct diamond when he has $10k to spend. In those cases, they need to talk and she needs to understand that a she is likely to get under 1.5 cts at that budget.

 

[ame]

holy crap, so you doubled your budget? What exactly was the reasoning that it was not "good enough" for your original budget? Did she prefer a larger size? or did YOU?

We spent "more" because we wanted a specific cut, and it's hard to come by in a specific clarity grade that I wanted on top of the "old style" of that branded cut. We both had a size range we wanted to be within this time, it was really where he wanted to be in the first place, but I picked a smaller stone originally. So when given the chance to redo it after my other rings were stolen, it worked out that we got this size. We could've afforded larger, especially had we not stuck with this cut and clarity range, but we both really liked this and this exact stone met our criteria perfectly. IF we upgrade later, for whatever reason that might be and I hope this time by choice not by destiny, I have no idea what I will do.

 

[kay1]

I went from $20k to about $23k because i was kind of on the boundary on size. Either a high colour high clarity 1.5 for about $20k or a decent colour, decent clarity 1.7 for about $23k. I think we all end up doing that a little bit.

But then I changed ring style and decided to spend more money getting a hand forged halo. This made me think I may as well spend more on the stone too, and being a halo I was able to drop in colour slightly to an I, which left the possibility of a 2.43ct and I just couldn't say no lol. I was suckered in by the little widgets on the diamond searcher and pushed them a bit too far!!

Oh and i'm the guy, i won't even be wearing this thing

(Oh i ended up at about $35k in the end)

 

[hathalove]

Just wanted to say that about half my friends don't wear rings or wear a simple wedding band. The others wear their ERs all the time. For the friends that don't it usually has to do with their day to day lifestyle. Not because they don't like their ring or it doesn't have any meaning behind it.

I wore my ring for quite a few years and then had many more years of wearing nothing or a plain gold band. Many years later I decided I wanted to reset my little diamond. When I found PS shortly after the reset and learned about diamonds that's when I realized that we bought a good but not excellent/ideal cut and I wanted the top cut even if it was small. My tastes changed too. So now I have an amazing diamond (smaller side) that I plan to wear everyday despite my job and potential damage because I enjoy it that much!

Here is a thread I started not too long ago asking PSers what they wear 90% of the time. Truth is many don't wear their rings and many do. Does it mean you should go for broke. Ummm No. Does it mean you may need to be flexible with one or a few of the Cs? Yes. I like what everyone is telling you here. After 14 years of marriage and 18 years of friendship do not go for broke on a ring. Not worth it.

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-what-you-honestly-wear-85-90-of-the-time.198662/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-what-you-honestly-wear-85-90-of-the-time.198662/[/URL]


Ps use your emotional response as a guide. I did go up in color from where I started and that felt great. Had it cost me a $2 more than it wouldn't have and I would have held off. I wanted bigger but the price tag for that didn't feel good either so I held off. Now I have a ring that is rockin and I am happy with because it did not feel like a big money bruise after the fact.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Hi,

An engagement ring is important to me, but honestly, there would be more chance it'd end up in the safe if it was a $29K ring! I'd be afraid to wear something that expensive. Loss. Theft. Etc.! lol

I don't know your story, but agree that you should start back at the original budget. If you think the larger budget is nuts, then it's going to be a painful purchase and you don't want that. Spend what you think is appropriate.

 

[heididdl]

I wear my ering everyday for almost 28 years (cooking , cleaning, (but not sleeping don't want to hit the husband in he head.) That being said every budget has its perfect ring. So going from 16-29 is wild I just wanted to also share my GIA H color si1 ering to show you that you can have a magnficant ring in this range.That is not an inclusion but a reflection in upper right

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="missy|1395401779|
Hi Larry, it's not so much the ER itself that is so important (though it does make me smile every day) but more so the fact that my dh wanted me to have the ring of my dreams and made that happen for me. And I wear my ER every single day and don't foresee putting it in a safe and just wearing a wedding band yanno? In fact most of my married friends wear their ER every day too and we have all been married a decade or longer. The ER is a visible part of our every day life.

[/quote]
missy...can you please convince my wife ?...

 

[tweeter8177]

I didn't go back and look at your other threads, but I wear my engagement ring everyday and would feel naked without it! All my friends and coworkers do to. Is it important to me? Yes, but it was way less important to me when I got engaged, I just wanted to marry my now husband and the ring was simply a symbol of being engaged then married.I have since upgraded a couple of times because we had the means to do it and somehow I became fascinated by diamonds. But that was after 9 years, then 12 years of marriage. I am not sure what is driving you to up your budget so much, but you definitely need to compromise on something with it (everyone does when selecting a diamond). Otherwise, you are making a happy time in your life into stress and unhappiness and I am sure your girlfriend wouldn't want that! I personally have no problem with going down in clarity and color to gain size. Remember, the bulk of people out there don't have the same PS standards!! Good luck and try to enjoy the experience!!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I am not sure if you mean you have already done this or not! But I am not at all sure about going from 1.5-1.7 to a 2.43 with a halo! Do most of her friends have 2-3 ct engagement rings? Because in my world, there are no young women in their 20's or early 30's with a diamond ring that large, and I know I would have felt extremely self conscious wearing something that big. Heck, I had to adjust to wearing a 2.29 with NO halo! Seriously, if I were you I would get a nice 1.8-2.0 ct H (or maybe I) VS2, put it in the halo and be done. I would not go to a 2.4 ct stone which is way over budget and potentially over-the-top in size.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

[quote="missy|1395401779|
Hi Larry, it's not so much the ER itself that is so important (though it does make me smile every day) but more so the fact that my dh wanted me to have the ring of my dreams and made that happen for me. And I wear my ER every single day and don't foresee putting it in a safe and just wearing a wedding band yanno? In fact most of my married friends wear their ER every day too and we have all been married a decade or longer. The ER is a visible part of our every day life.

missy...can you please convince my wife ?... [/quote]

DF, if your wife doesn't wear that ring, you just send it to me and I'll wear it every single day!!! That way it gets some love and your wife won't even know the difference! It is a total waste for a diamond to sit in a safe deposit box or safe!

 

[Dancing Fire]

the avg PSer's (center stone only) is H/VS2 1.27 ct
the avg $$$ spent by PSers (center stone only) is $8050

the avg $$$ spent on an E-ring in the US is $4525 (J/SI2 center stone)

avg in the U.S.... .90 ct
avg in Fla and Texas is 1.87 ct
avg NYC....2.43 ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.19 ct
avg in the mid west... .65 ct

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="missy|1395401779|
Hi Larry, it's not so much the ER itself that is so important (though it does make me smile every day) but more so the fact that my dh wanted me to have the ring of my dreams and made that happen for me. And I wear my ER every single day and don't foresee putting it in a safe and just wearing a wedding band yanno? In fact most of my married friends wear their ER every day too and we have all been married a decade or longer. The ER is a visible part of our every day life.

missy...can you please convince my wife ?...

DF, if your wife doesn't wear that ring, you just send it to me and I'll wear it every single day!!! That way it gets some love and your wife won't even know the difference! It is a total waste for a diamond to sit in a safe deposit box or safe![/quote]


DS...she does wear her E-ring every single day!.. but what I meant was if missy can convince my wife to buy "ME" my dream diamond then I would be very grateful to her...