Random talk thread!

[audball]

We talk regularly about kids. He's happy to have another but also okay if I decide it is not something I want. The only thing we've ever thought differently about was timing. He wanted me ALL the way done with school and well established in a career first. I think that is too long (I'd be about 35 or so in his time line and he'd be 64...). After talking, he agreed with my logic so we're now looking at waiting just a couple of years.

So DH has never really thought about the idea that you don't just wait for things to align and a baby magically appears. The possibility of trying for months (or more) and then 40 weeks of pregnancy were not part of his time line

That's good. I guess you have some time to think about it! It seems (from my FHH lurking) that many of the husbands don't seem to get that getting pregnant can take a while (it could be the first month, but for many, it's not), and that even if you do get pregnant right away, it takes 40 weeks for them to get here! Definitely not something that happens overnight.

 

[TooPatient]

We talk regularly about kids. He's happy to have another but also okay if I decide it is not something I want. The only thing we've ever thought differently about was timing. He wanted me ALL the way done with school and well established in a career first. I think that is too long (I'd be about 35 or so in his time line and he'd be 64...). After talking, he agreed with my logic so we're now looking at waiting just a couple of years.

So DH has never really thought about the idea that you don't just wait for things to align and a baby magically appears. The possibility of trying for months (or more) and then 40 weeks of pregnancy were not part of his time line

That's good. I guess you have some time to think about it! It seems (from my FHH lurking) that many of the husbands don't seem to get that getting pregnant can take a while (it could be the first month, but for many, it's not), and that even if you do get pregnant right away, it takes 40 weeks for them to get here! Definitely not something that happens overnight.

DH missed that delay part too...

It isn't like deciding you want chicken instead of beef -- you don't just drive 10 minutes and buy it at the store!

You lurk in FHH too?!? I've been reading lots over there for a long time. Lots of ups and downs. I know that kids are huge amounts of work it has just been interesting (and sometimes scary) the sorts of things that can come up!

Lots to think about!
I do know that I would like to have a baby with DH and that we'll be ready when the time comes. I also know that if there was an oopsie now we'd be okay. But after following the heartbreak some of the ladies have gone through, I know that I want to be relaxed about the whole thing in that if things don't happen naturally for us, I'm not up to medical assistance. That is too much stress and upset. I'd rather volunteer in the community and maybe even consider adoption. (Okay... so I really hate needles so that might be tainting my opinion in medical intervention!)

 

[TooPatient]

OMG skunks stink!

I didn't even know we had them around here!
Walked out the door to run to the store real quick (okay... drive) and smelled the most rancid stench. It was so horrible I almost went in to have DH get a flashlight to see what had crawled into our yard and died! I decided it smelled sort of like the skunk cabbage that grew near the house I used to live in so just went on to the store. Of course we don't have any skunk cabbage (or good areas for it to grow really) near us so I called DH and asked him to go sniff outside the house.

Thankfully our dogs were inside. I can't imaging trying to get that smell out of them

 

[audball]

DH missed that delay part too...

It isn't like deciding you want chicken instead of beef -- you don't just drive 10 minutes and buy it at the store!

You lurk in FHH too?!? I've been reading lots over there for a long time. Lots of ups and downs. I know that kids are huge amounts of work it has just been interesting (and sometimes scary) the sorts of things that can come up!

Lots to think about!
I do know that I would like to have a baby with DH and that we'll be ready when the time comes. I also know that if there was an oopsie now we'd be okay. But after following the heartbreak some of the ladies have gone through, I know that I want to be relaxed about the whole thing in that if things don't happen naturally for us, I'm not up to medical assistance. That is too much stress and upset. I'd rather volunteer in the community and maybe even consider adoption. (Okay... so I really hate needles so that might be tainting my opinion in medical intervention!)

Lol, yeah, I'm a lurker. It's definitely interesting to follow! I'm not sure how I feel about intervention down the line (should it be necessary). I would definitely not feel okay with an oopsie right now...I'm not ready in any way, but who's to say how I'd actually feel unless it happened. We are taking several/multiple strides to prevent so it would be quite a miracle baby should we have an oops.

I think for interventions it would really depend on whether or not our insurance covered it and many other factors. At this point in my life I don't feel like I'd be devastated to not have kids and feel like our lives could be complete with or without them. I'd like them, but don't know how much intervention I would pursue if we had trouble conceiving.

 

[audball]

OMG skunks stink!

I didn't even know we had them around here!
Walked out the door to run to the store real quick (okay... drive) and smelled the most rancid stench. It was so horrible I almost went in to have DH get a flashlight to see what had crawled into our yard and died! I decided it smelled sort of like the skunk cabbage that grew near the house I used to live in so just went on to the store. Of course we don't have any skunk cabbage (or good areas for it to grow really) near us so I called DH and asked him to go sniff outside the house.

Thankfully our dogs were inside. I can't imaging trying to get that smell out of them

Eww! I've never had the displeasure of smelling or meeting a skunk...glad your dogs weren't sprayed!

 

[TooPatient]

Have. To. Focus!!!!

No school today. I don't know why -- some sort of "college issues day" or something?

Anyway, I'm supposed to be catching up on homework and getting ready for my next batch of midterms...


Just a little longer!
13 school days and then 2 days of final exams. Quarter is over for me 3/26

 

[audball]

Get off PS and STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!

 

[TooPatient]

Get off PS and STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!

I know!
I'm heading back to it again now. It feels like all I do is practice problems

My biggest wish for my b-day next year is that everyone forgets it. I don't want a cake or a card or anything. Just leave me alone to try to forget how much I hate my b-day.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow, but right now I'm just done with it. DH is picking "A" up from her afterschool club and taking her to the drugstore to buy the mini-greenhouse I suggested he ought to have her buy for me. Mentioned that this morning when he had clearly not given any thought to even having "A" get me a card. (we're trying to teach her to recognize other people's special days including a card and appropriate gift as needed)
He and I share just one car. Since he's really not a card person, he asked where I thought would have good cards. I suggested a place and we went after work. Took him just long enough for me to ask the lady if they validate parking to find the most generic card you've ever seen. I walked over to let him know I'd be at Starbucks whenever he was done (I usually take up to an hour to find just the right card...) and he asked if I liked this card.... Ummm... "Is it too generic?" .... "Yes. We did something big in October... they have a whole section of cards for that... Just pick the card you like and I'm sure it will be great! I'll see you at Starbucks."
So.... We'll see. I'd really really really wanted a "wife" card. Or at the very least "special person"....


In the mean time, I'm heading back to my math problems.

 

[TooPatient]

The mini-greenhouse thing turned into an ordeal. They didn't have it at that store and DH picked one of the home/garden stores near us but they didn't have it either. I ended up going with him to the other place that I knew had them while "A" was in her art class. She doesn't know that I know so it is still supposed to be a surprise for me.

I don't care if I have no surprises! Doesn't bug me.

BUT....
I have to wait until tomorrow to plant my seeds

I've got packets of 4 varieties of tomatoes, jalapeno peppers, bell peppers, zucchini, yellow squash, Brussels sprouts, and other stuff waiting to get stuck in the starter trays (part of my b-day present) so they can start sprouting.

Maybe this year the rabbit won't eat all of my plants!

 

[TooPatient]

No "wife" card

He's also tired and doesn't feel like going out to dinner so I'll be cooking at home. Or just ordering a pizza for them and getting a salad for me.

At least I get to go to the chocolate place and have lots of chocolate and wine. I also have a bottle of wine I stashed from the wedding that I'm going to pull out with the cheesecake (or chocolate truffle cake?) I buy from the store
(The cheesecake at WF is amazing! It is almost as good as mine! Oh... and the flourless chocolate truffle cake is insanely rich and delicious!)

 

[audball]

Happy Birthday, TP! I'm sorry you've had some disappointments so far! I hope everything turns around and you really enjoy the rest of your day!

 

[TooPatient]

Happy Birthday, TP! I'm sorry you've had some disappointments so far! I hope everything turns around and you really enjoy the rest of your day!

Thanks!

I got a super sweet e-mail from a friend so that was nice!

Chocolate shop closed up that location. Had to track down the other one through downtown Seattle traffic
The chocolates are amazing! The service was rude. Food available... but not on offer. Wine available... but not on offer. The people who were working there basically pointed us at a box, rushed us through our selections and sent us on our way as quickly as possible.
Won't be going back there! (May order online and have shipped though...)
We also got forced onto the toll bridge with absolutely no signs anywhere letting us know we were even getting on the freeway... So we'll have a $4.50 toll bill in the mail

DH claims they had no "wife" cards anywhere in the store (I know they did...) but did feel guilty enough that he actually wrote in my card! This is a first! That was nice!

I had a glass of white wine to make sure it was good before tossing the rest of the bottle in our dinner (chicken in white wine). Opening the bottle left from our wedding to have with dinner. And after dinner.



OHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Decided that I had to make the reservations for our 1st anniversary so sent the request off for that! Should have confirmation soon!


So, overall, the day has been awesome! Chocolate and wine and reservations for our anniversary!!!

 

[TooPatient]

To make the day more exciting, I'm STILL waiting to find out what happened at DH's work today!

I'd just stopped at the store for the last couple of things for dinner so we wouldn't have to do it after the chocolate place and got an e-mail from DH that there was lots of police activity at the building across the street. (He works for a big company that has some huge number of buildings in the area -- if you have a computer you almost certainly have their software in your home -- so it was at the same company he works for but across the street in a different building.)
No info from the company. Just e-mail going around from other employees sharing what little they could see. Lots of sirens. Police, fire, ambulance. Rumor of SWAT team. Confirmed Hazmat team. News cameras etc.

I decided the groceries could wait as I needed to get DH out of there not knowing what was going on or how bad it could get! Thankfully I was less than 10 minutes away! I got there in time to see a couple of helicopters and to be passed by more emergency vehicles. (Since it was across the street, I wasn't in the way! There are multiple approaches to the building so I could go a different road if needed.)

Still no word from the company. Best reports I've been able to get were about "a suspicious substance".
Not sure what all those news cameras were doing since I've not seen any of the local stations report on this yet

 

[audball]

Thanks!

I got a super sweet e-mail from a friend so that was nice!

Chocolate shop closed up that location. Had to track down the other one through downtown Seattle traffic
The chocolates are amazing! The service was rude. Food available... but not on offer. Wine available... but not on offer. The people who were working there basically pointed us at a box, rushed us through our selections and sent us on our way as quickly as possible.
Won't be going back there! (May order online and have shipped though...)
We also got forced onto the toll bridge with absolutely no signs anywhere letting us know we were even getting on the freeway... So we'll have a $4.50 toll bill in the mail

DH claims they had no "wife" cards anywhere in the store (I know they did...) but did feel guilty enough that he actually wrote in my card! This is a first! That was nice!

I had a glass of white wine to make sure it was good before tossing the rest of the bottle in our dinner (chicken in white wine). Opening the bottle left from our wedding to have with dinner. And after dinner.

OHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Decided that I had to make the reservations for our 1st anniversary so sent the request off for that! Should have confirmation soon!


So, overall, the day has been awesome! Chocolate and wine and reservations for our anniversary!!!

Bummer the chocolate shop didn't pan out as you'd hoped! And sad he didn't find a wife card You've got a very positive outlook though!

VERY exciting to get your first anniversary trip booked! I'm REALLY hoping we'll be able to go back to Savannah for ours!

 

[audball]

To make the day more exciting, I'm STILL waiting to find out what happened at DH's work today!

I'd just stopped at the store for the last couple of things for dinner so we wouldn't have to do it after the chocolate place and got an e-mail from DH that there was lots of police activity at the building across the street. (He works for a big company that has some huge number of buildings in the area -- if you have a computer you almost certainly have their software in your home -- so it was at the same company he works for but across the street in a different building.)
No info from the company. Just e-mail going around from other employees sharing what little they could see. Lots of sirens. Police, fire, ambulance. Rumor of SWAT team. Confirmed Hazmat team. News cameras etc.

I decided the groceries could wait as I needed to get DH out of there not knowing what was going on or how bad it could get! Thankfully I was less than 10 minutes away! I got there in time to see a couple of helicopters and to be passed by more emergency vehicles. (Since it was across the street, I wasn't in the way! There are multiple approaches to the building so I could go a different road if needed.)

Still no word from the company. Best reports I've been able to get were about "a suspicious substance".
Not sure what all those news cameras were doing since I've not seen any of the local stations report on this yet

Interesting! I wonder what happened!

 

[TooPatient]

To make the day more exciting, I'm STILL waiting to find out what happened at DH's work today!

I'd just stopped at the store for the last couple of things for dinner so we wouldn't have to do it after the chocolate place and got an e-mail from DH that there was lots of police activity at the building across the street. (He works for a big company that has some huge number of buildings in the area -- if you have a computer you almost certainly have their software in your home -- so it was at the same company he works for but across the street in a different building.)
No info from the company. Just e-mail going around from other employees sharing what little they could see. Lots of sirens. Police, fire, ambulance. Rumor of SWAT team. Confirmed Hazmat team. News cameras etc.

I decided the groceries could wait as I needed to get DH out of there not knowing what was going on or how bad it could get! Thankfully I was less than 10 minutes away! I got there in time to see a couple of helicopters and to be passed by more emergency vehicles. (Since it was across the street, I wasn't in the way! There are multiple approaches to the building so I could go a different road if needed.)

Still no word from the company. Best reports I've been able to get were about "a suspicious substance".
Not sure what all those news cameras were doing since I've not seen any of the local stations report on this yet

Interesting! I wonder what happened!

Still not entirely sure.

There was a bucket found near one of the buildings but in a tree/bush filled area. It had duct tape and stuff and looked very suspicious. Hazmat & bomb squads were on site. No confirmation that it was or wasn't anything.

The part that leaves me really wondering is that it didn't show up on the news. We usually hear all about a backpack on a park bench or a shoe box near a store or whatever. Even when it is nothing (as every time I can remember has been).
Given the size of the company, I can imagine it being a target for a creep.

Anyway, not sure if we'll ever be told the specifics. Just glad nothing horrible happened!

 

[TooPatient]

Thanks!

I got a super sweet e-mail from a friend so that was nice!

Chocolate shop closed up that location. Had to track down the other one through downtown Seattle traffic
The chocolates are amazing! The service was rude. Food available... but not on offer. Wine available... but not on offer. The people who were working there basically pointed us at a box, rushed us through our selections and sent us on our way as quickly as possible.
Won't be going back there! (May order online and have shipped though...)
We also got forced onto the toll bridge with absolutely no signs anywhere letting us know we were even getting on the freeway... So we'll have a $4.50 toll bill in the mail

DH claims they had no "wife" cards anywhere in the store (I know they did...) but did feel guilty enough that he actually wrote in my card! This is a first! That was nice!

I had a glass of white wine to make sure it was good before tossing the rest of the bottle in our dinner (chicken in white wine). Opening the bottle left from our wedding to have with dinner. And after dinner.

OHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Decided that I had to make the reservations for our 1st anniversary so sent the request off for that! Should have confirmation soon!


So, overall, the day has been awesome! Chocolate and wine and reservations for our anniversary!!!

Bummer the chocolate shop didn't pan out as you'd hoped! And sad he didn't find a wife card You've got a very positive outlook though!

VERY exciting to get your first anniversary trip booked! I'm REALLY hoping we'll be able to go back to Savannah for ours!

I hope you do get to go back to Savannah!
What a great place to spend your 1st anniversary!

ETA: By the end of yesterday, I'd managed something like 5 pieces of chocolate a big chunk of New York cheesecake and 4+ glasses of wine.... (I'll have to get back on the scale eventually, but right now I have a cheesecake to go eat )

 

[audball]

I hope you do get to go back to Savannah!
What a great place to spend your 1st anniversary!

ETA: By the end of yesterday, I'd managed something like 5 pieces of chocolate a big chunk of New York cheesecake and 4+ glasses of wine.... (I'll have to get back on the scale eventually, but right now I have a cheesecake to go eat )

We'd really love to! It would be great to go back to where we said I do and have more down time to really explore since we didn't have much of that when we were there last.

We've eaten entirely too much bad this week. We had Chinese take out last night and then got a sweet tooth. Went to the grocery store and their bakery (really good!) had baker's dozen cookies that were buy one chocolate chip pack, get one heath bar pack free. Yeah, we totally got those. So good.

 

[TooPatient]

Love your Frankenstein picture!

Those funny little moments through the day are really the best! We had some of those that either made lousy pictures (like discovering that I tried to open the gate the wrong way and it wasn't actually locked) or great pictures that don't look funny (like "Give me that cake!!!!" as DH held the fork in such a way that I couldn't get it anywhere near my mouth...)

The judge who did our civil paperwork was hilarious! He knew we were doing a religious ceremony and didn't want any sort of ceremony like stuff at the paper signing. Boy did he do great! The entire morning was one great joke after another.

 

[TooPatient]

My cucumbers have sprouted!!!!

Okay... just barely, but they did it all this morning!

 

[audball]

That's exciting!

 

[TooPatient]

DH's father died. (70+ years old with Alzheimer's (or Dementia?) and Parkinson's but somewhat unexpected)

DH's parents are divorced but his mother did keep in contact with his father even after all their kids were grown. DH was notified by his mother via voicemail... (Who does this!?!?)

He says he's okay. His father was a very abusive (physically and emotionally) man and they hadn't seen each other in a couple of decades. This is a man who actually tried to shoot his own son

But he looks hurt. He won't admit it and I don't know if he even has realized himself yet (he just found out about 20 minutes ago). I'm not going to push him, but he's got some tough feelings to work through. I think that the loss of a parent is painful even when you don't actually view them as family.

 

[TooPatient]

That's exciting!

It really is!

Now if I can keep the cats from eating the little sprouts and the rabbits in the front yard from eating the plants after they go in the garden, we might get some veggies this year!

Looks like my little Jellybean tomatoes may be next to sprout


I've got great heaps of rosemary, thyme, sage, oregano, lavender, and mint so I know stuff can grow
The blueberries and strawberries often get munched by the bunnies just before they are ripe enough to pick...

 

[TooPatient]

Tomatoes!

One little sprout each of a couple different varieties

Can't wait to get home and see if more have popped up!!!

 

[audball]

DH's father died. (70+ years old with Alzheimer's (or Dementia?) and Parkinson's but somewhat unexpected)

DH's parents are divorced but his mother did keep in contact with his father even after all their kids were grown. DH was notified by his mother via voicemail... (Who does this!?!?)

He says he's okay. His father was a very abusive (physically and emotionally) man and they hadn't seen each other in a couple of decades. This is a man who actually tried to shoot his own son

But he looks hurt. He won't admit it and I don't know if he even has realized himself yet (he just found out about 20 minutes ago). I'm not going to push him, but he's got some tough feelings to work through. I think that the loss of a parent is painful even when you don't actually view them as family.

Oh TP, I'm so sorry for your loss and for your DH. Prayers be with you during this time.

 

[audball]

It really is!

Now if I can keep the cats from eating the little sprouts and the rabbits in the front yard from eating the plants after they go in the garden, we might get some veggies this year!

Looks like my little Jellybean tomatoes may be next to sprout

I've got great heaps of rosemary, thyme, sage, oregano, lavender, and mint so I know stuff can grow
The blueberries and strawberries often get munched by the bunnies just before they are ripe enough to pick...

I think it's so cool that you grow so many things! I think it would nice when we {someday} buy a house and have a yard!

Tomatoes!

One little sprout each of a couple different varieties

Can't wait to get home and see if more have popped up!!!

Fun!

 

[TooPatient]

DH's father died. (70+ years old with Alzheimer's (or Dementia?) and Parkinson's but somewhat unexpected)

DH's parents are divorced but his mother did keep in contact with his father even after all their kids were grown. DH was notified by his mother via voicemail... (Who does this!?!?)

He says he's okay. His father was a very abusive (physically and emotionally) man and they hadn't seen each other in a couple of decades. This is a man who actually tried to shoot his own son

But he looks hurt. He won't admit it and I don't know if he even has realized himself yet (he just found out about 20 minutes ago). I'm not going to push him, but he's got some tough feelings to work through. I think that the loss of a parent is painful even when you don't actually view them as family.

Oh TP, I'm so sorry for your loss and for your DH. Prayers be with you during this time.

Thanks.

DH is doing better today. He talked with his mother so she knows he got the phone message. That was all he wanted to do. He doesn't want to go to any of the services or anything but having to talk to his mother always leaves him stressed. We talked (he talked and I listened) about the memories he was having. Now he wants to put it away and go back to living.

 

[TooPatient]

It really is!

Now if I can keep the cats from eating the little sprouts and the rabbits in the front yard from eating the plants after they go in the garden, we might get some veggies this year!

Looks like my little Jellybean tomatoes may be next to sprout

I've got great heaps of rosemary, thyme, sage, oregano, lavender, and mint so I know stuff can grow
The blueberries and strawberries often get munched by the bunnies just before they are ripe enough to pick...

I think it's so cool that you grow so many things! I think it would nice when we {someday} buy a house and have a yard!

Tomatoes!

One little sprout each of a couple different varieties

Can't wait to get home and see if more have popped up!!!

Fun!

Well.... I try to grow lots of things
I managed to get the herbs last summer plus a handful of strawberries and 15 cherry tomatoes (2-3 at a time over 2 months or so...)

My veggie starts last year got walked on by a cat, chewed up by another cat, stuck in the dark bathroom shower (to be protected from cats) with no light, then stuck outside during our camping trip.... where what few had survived were drowned by a mass downpour


Hence the $20 mini-greenhouse this year!

Still not sure what to do to save the plants from the wild rabbits running around the neighborhood They ate all of the blueberries last year plus most of the strawberries, all of my bell pepper plants, the cucumber plants, the zucchini plants, the.....

My plan this year is to try to have LOTS of plants all around the yard so that (hopefully) the rabbits will miss something. Got some going into pots on the porch and some going into hanging pots too.
(I've also got a veggie garden thread in Hangout to see if we can all trade veggie growing (and rabbit protection!) tips)

 

[audball]

Ahh -- gotcha! That would be super frustrating to lose everything you bothered to grow to animals! I hope you get some valuable advice in Hangout!

 

[TooPatient]

Ahh -- gotcha! That would be super frustrating to lose everything you bothered to grow to animals! I hope you get some valuable advice in Hangout!

Getting some great tips! Fun to see how many people are growing veggies!

I do have a lot of fun out in the garden -- flowers & veggies -- so it isn't a total loss
The year before I only got about 4 cherry tomatoes so I'm getting better!!

We would have gotten more blackberries and strawberries last year, but DH was so sick I didn't have time to get out and pick them.


Everything from my first tray has sprouted! Now I've got stuff in the 2nd tray coming up!!! (the 1st set of seeds planted on Thursday last week and the 2nd just before bed Saturday night)

Sprouted:
10 varieties of tomatoes
cucumbers
Brussels sprouts

I think the watermelons are about to pop up too!!!