PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Pandora II]

LL - Daisy used to do 14 hours awake at a stretch until I learnt her tired cues. Now she''ll do anything from 20 minutes to 3 hours. If I co-nap then she''ll sleep a lot longer, but if she''s on her own then there doesn''t seem to be any real clue as to whether she sleeps a long time or a short time.

 

[MustangGal]

littlelysser - cute baby!!! I think my guy did the cat nap thing at first too, some of them are just that way

. At least he is napping.

Fiery - wow, your FMIL keeps getting worse! I do have to say that my sitter said she could notice when my family had visited for the weekend. They never put him down when they were here weekends, so the next Monday he would get grumpy with her if she tried to. FMIL needs to let go of the baby! Is she still trying to cook her too?

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 11/6/2009 2:48:39 PM
Author: fiery
Lorelei- the other day she made a ''joke'' that it would be better if Sophia stayed with her all week and we pick her up on the weekend so that she doesn''t get confused. Luckily FI was there and told her that if she''s looking for someone to take care of fulltime there are plenty of babies needing adopted parents but Sophia will stay home with her parents. Seriously.

CDT-I used to just respond directly to her but now I respond through Sophia. Like with the shoes thing I said ''Sophia tell your grandmother that it''s 95 degrees outside and your mom isn''t crazy.''

OMG!!!!!!! Fiery I am so sorry you have to put up with this, sounds to me the sooner you can find another care provider the better!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 11/6/2009 4:11:28 PM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 11/6/2009 2:48:39 PM
Author: fiery
Lorelei- the other day she made a ''joke'' that it would be better if Sophia stayed with her all week and we pick her up on the weekend so that she doesn''t get confused. Luckily FI was there and told her that if she''s looking for someone to take care of fulltime there are plenty of babies needing adopted parents but Sophia will stay home with her parents. Seriously.

CDT-I used to just respond directly to her but now I respond through Sophia. Like with the shoes thing I said ''Sophia tell your grandmother that it''s 95 degrees outside and your mom isn''t crazy.''

OMG!!!!!!! Fiery I am so sorry you have to put up with this, sounds to me the sooner you can find another care provider the better!

Wow!!!! Fiery best to put a stop to this now. I am so sorry.

 

[Mara]

Thanks so much ladies...I am glad we are having these convos now to try to set some expectations up front. I def know it won't be easy by any means, but hoping that by laying out responsibilities for us (almost like a job) beforehand, then it might make it easier not to have to THINK about how to make it all work. He is taking 3 weeks off and then I am hoping he can do like 2 days from home or something (or half days at home) so we can ease into me being totally alone on care.

Fiery...your MIL sounds like a piece of work...and totally inappropriate with some of those comments!

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this!

Mand...your little boys are soo cute. I agree with the others, don't beat yourself up, the boys are healthy and that's all that matters!
Lyss...love that pic, he's like 'yeah this is my pumpkin'...!

 

[Pandora II]

I am thinking of buying one of these... http://www.babynobumps.com/

Does anyone have any experience of this kind of thing? We have hardwood floors throughout the whole house and Daisy has started rolling around the floor like a mad thing. She can pull up on furniture already and I can''t believe it will be long before she will be crawling, climbing etc. Having had concussion as a small child myself I''m a bit paranoid about it, so wondered if they are any good?

Why does this kid look so in love with theirs?

 

[MustangGal]

Pandora - we have tile in the majority of our house, and Kyle''s been crowling and rolling around on it for months. He''s had a few slight bonks, but nothing that would make me think of putting protection on him. I also think he''d just rip it off and start playing with it

. If they aren''t too expensive you could try one and see what Daisy does with it.

 

[taovandel]

Last night was wonderful! On the previous nights, Evan would not fall asleep and stay asleep unless held by either myself or my husband. But last night, he slept in his bassinet near us the whole night (well other than twice for feedings)....We both woke up so refreshed and happy. Hopefully we can continue with this.

My sister came over today and took some pictures of Evan....We got him all naked for some of the pictures and he peed straight across the room. So funny!

 

[littlelysser]

Mara - quick drive by...you and your DH are doing the same thing my DH did. It worked really well. Those first four week are tough - it was really nice to have DH there and know that he could stay up as long as needed with no pressure to go back to work.

Him going back part time was nice too - I didn''t go from having 100% help to nothing.

 

[neatfreak]

Pandora-I don''t think it''s necessary. Hardwoods aren''t really all that hard. We have hardwoods and the kids have bonked their heads plenty of times and never more than a minute of crying.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Pandora If you put that thing on daisy I am calling the people with the straight jackets for sure

How cruel! LOL! It looks like a smurf hat. Babies are pretty resilient.... I don''t think you need that.

I didn''t mention this but Hunter fell off the kitchen table onto the floor

last week!! DH put him up there is some sort of booster seat that we found in our clowet when we moved in and he toppled off. I am not sure what DH was thinking, but all was well, not even a bump. Apparently Hunter his a cardboard box on his was down and it buffered the fall

 

[Sabine]

Yikes...I just read about 3 pages of this thread and was about to respond when Jacks woke up and needed to eat...now I can''t remember everything I wanted to say!

Hmm...LL I definitely wanted to respond to you because for over a month now Jacks has been the same way with naps. I used to be able to swaddle him and put him down and he would sleep for at least an hour, but then all of a sudden it went to 30 minutes on the dot. If your little guy wakes up happy I wouldn''t sweat it, but Jacks would get INSANELY cranky by the end of the day if he didn''t get at least one or two good naps, so I started holding him for his naps. We finally got to a pretty good schedule of me holding him for his first nap which is about 1.5 hours, putting him down for a short second nap, me holding him for his 3rd nap, which is usually really long (like 2.5 hours) and then putting him down for a short 4th nap before bathtime.

Pandora, yay for a tooth!

Mandarine, please don''t feel bad for giving up on bfing/pumping! I felt soooo guilty when I did, but felt so much better once I accepted that it was what was best for Jacks because he was hungry and needed food.

Re: husbands...they should definitely be pulling their share. For the first month, my dh took Jacks from 7 PM till about midnight, and that was really the only real sleep I was getting and I couldn''t function without it.

Fiery, I can''t believe your MIl. The comment about Sophia staying with her would seriously freak me out. Are you considering trying to find any other childcare option, or are you determined to just stick it out with her?

DD, yay for being moved in and the schedule getting settled again!

Blen, good luck wiht your move!

Mela, hope you are having the time of your life! Seriously jealous!

MG, I would be okay if your dh wanted ONE friday to himself to just veg, but would be upset if he expected to have Kyle at the sitters every day he had off.

Tao, welcome, and glad Evan is doing well!

Well, we are back home and my mom just left. We had a WONDERFUL visit with Robbie and our families, but it was a bit stressful too.

PSA!!! DO NOT UNDERTAKE A LONG CAR RIDE ALONE WITH A BABY THAT DOESN''T SLEEP! The car ride there was literally hell...he cried soooo much because he was tired, but wouldn''t sleep longer than 30 minutes at a time, and then bored. I would pull over and he would laugh as soon as he saw me. He also did NOT eat well on the road.

Robbie and her dh were SAINTS for putting us up! The last night, Jacks pooped in their bathtub, and I asked Robbie''s dh to hold him while I cleaned it out, and Jacks then promptly peed on him! Poor guy!

The ride home was much better since my mom was there to sit in the back with him. We only had to stop twice during the 9 hours, and he barely cried at all.

My mom did DRIVE ME NUTS though....any time she is around him she made comments about things that she is opinionated on, and was basically trying to tell me what to do (even though I know she didn''t really mean to). Things like...hold his bottle up higher, he''s getting air. Or, he''s going to bonk himself in the head with that toy, it''s too heavy. I told her repeatedly that I found it frustrating since he is MY son and I feel like I know what is good for him, etc., but she really didn''t get it until the last day and then she cried because she felt bad for me thinking she was trying to tell me what to do...ugh. I was glad for her to be able to visit, but I''m glad she''s gone and that dh is back!

 

[gailrmv]

hey all, I've been reading but not posting for a while now...

WELCOME NEW MOMMIES!!!

about division of labor and free time after the baby comes This has been the hardest thing for me about getting used to motherhood. The first few weeks DH was super helpful, but then he went into some kind of male nesting thing where he was obsessed with yardwork and doing things out in the garage and also took on a bunch of extra responsibilities at work (which I've heard is kind of typical - some men get more into the provider role). Meanwhile I was working part time from home with a baby that didn't nap, no family nearby and no childcare help. It sucked. DH and I had more arguments those few months than probably ever in our long marriage.

Things are not perfect but they are better now. It's just taken time. Some things that have helped: mainly, that I am no longer working. So I feel less overwhelmed trying to be full time Mom AND working. I don't know how I did it, honestly. Also, now my son is less cranky and is at a much more fun age. He was a very fussy newborn. And, I think I've just gottenmore used to everything. I'm also better about speaking up to tell DH when I need time to run errands, or just relax and have some me-time, and he's better about mentioning it.

Also, we've just decided that we will lower our standards a little bit about having a perfectly clean house and perfect yard. Some things just have to take a lower priority. I'd rather have family time than a perfect yard.

Also helpful is that sometimes during the week, after we put A to bed, I'll go out to Barnes and Noble to just sit and relax by myself for an hour or so. It's no extra work for DH because A is asleep. It's a nice time for me to just decompress. I try to do it once a week at least.

I've also tried to go "off duty" after about 9:00 or 10:00. In other words, even if there is laundry, dishes, whatever, I try to just take a break from them so I can relax a bit before I go to bed.


Oh also, I signed up A for a mother's morning out program at a church preschool. It is one morning a week just for a few hours, but I look forward to that time every week. I know that no matter what (unless he's sick) I can have time to myself then. It is so nice! Next schoolyear we may do a different mother's morning out which is two mornings a week. Yes it is a luxury, but it is really worth it (and costs less than a babysitter).

But yeah, I think some DH's can underestimate how much work the baby is, and go on about their day to day without making a lot of changes. Even if you talk about it ahead of time, it can be different when the baby actually arrives. Just keep the lines of communication open and speak up about what you need, I guess is my best advice.



Catnaps - littlelysser That sounds pretty normal to me. We are lucky to get ONE decent nap out of A at 7 months. He was always a catnapper just like Calvin. I didn't do swing naps and now I wonder if I should have!


Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

 

[Sabine]

Oh, and I wanted to share my favorite halloween pics that Robbie took!

Jackson at 3 months with the toy that is "too heavy" for him

 

[Sabine]

My little monkey!

 

[Sabine]

And my newest favorite pic!

 

[fieryred33143]

Sabine-he''s so cute! Those photos are great!

I''m taking Sophia to the pedi again. This nebulizer machine isn''t doing anything for her cold. If anything she''s worse. She threw up 4 times yesterday and once this morning, is eating very little, and has diarrhea. Poor girl. And all she wants is to be held but because I''m sick I''ve been staying away from her and FI is working today. She''s in her crib now talking to herself

 

[ChinaCat]

Dreamer! Hunter is GORGEOUS!

Seriously, what a beautiful child.

Mandarine- That is the sweetest picture of your twins! I know it''s hard, but please don''t feel bad about giving up the BF. I know so many moms who either couldn''t or didn''t want to, and their little ones are happy and thriving! You are their mom and they will bond with you no matter what. Plus it''s going to make your life a lot easier. BF is nice once it''s easy, but I am so tied down to O and it would be nice if I wasn''t always feeding or pumping or planning on how I''m going to do something without feeding or pumping. It''s a never-ending cycle. And with twins, wow. Oy on the MIL. I just don''t understand why people think they have the right to be so opinionated, disruptive, rude, whatever. And you are so tired and hormonal in the beginning, I would have lost my mind if I had a difficult MIL. Do what you can to LIMIT her time around you, at least for the first few weeks. You need to take care of you and the twins!

LYSSER- You know I love me some Calvin. I wasn''t into the legs things for boys but now that I''ve seen Calvin''s, I am so buying a pair for O. He''s such a cutie. O is similar- sleeps great at night, but I have the hardest time getting consistent naps out of him. Unless he''s in the swing he fights them. He is starting to be way more awake now and I think it''s normal when they aren''t so newborn to nap less. And if he''s happy, don''t fight it! I keep stressing about putting him on more of a schedule during the day and getting him to nap in his crib during the day, etc., and I''ve just decided to go with the flow. He''s happy and obviously getting enough to eat and sleep, so I''m trying to just enjoy him while I''m still home on mat leave and not spend my time stressing about what he should be doing. Speaking of, I am assuming you''re staying home with Calvin? I think you were doing some contract work before, just curious about what you''ve decided to do.

Fiery- I just don''t know what to say about your MIL. It''s one thing for her to be controlling and annoying, but it''s quite another to do so in such a way that is either potentially harmful to Sophia (all of the blankets) or completely disruptive to your routine and schedule for her (refusing to put her down or wake her up during the day). I think you''re going to have to put your foot down, though I would have a really hard time doing that and from her reactions to your putting your foot down about being in the delivery room with you, I am not so sure it will do any good.

Since she obviously loves Sophia very much, what about sitting down with her and telling her that while you really want her to be the one to watch Sophia, if she can''t follow a few basic guidelines, you''ll have to find other care and she can visit or occasionally baby sit. I would pick a few must rules, but let some of the other stuff slide. Just a thought- but perhaps the chance that she might lose privileges could motivate her to try things your way. Ugh. I feel for you. Btw, how are things with your FI?

Sabine- So cute that Jacks & Des got to meet! Love the pictures of your little monkey!

PG and all others on the DH rants: I think this was one of the most surprising and hardest things for me about new mommyhood. My DH is so helpful and we are definitely 50/50 in most things so I was not at all prepared for the new dad cluelessness. They really don''t get it, and newborns are so needy and they need their moms. He was pretty helpful when he was home for 3 weeks, but then he went back to work and back to his normal life and it felt like he would only help out if I asked him to do something and then it felt like he was doing me a favor rather than sharing the responsibility for his son. I really resented it, which isn''t good b/c then I got really angry and bitchy but he didn''t know where it was coming from. I blew up at him, which really hurt his feelings especially because he thought he was being so helpful. I felt really badly, I should have talked to him and let him know what I needed, rather than just expecting him to get it. BECAUSE THEY DON''T GET IT. But how can they? I didn''t get it either until it was literally pushed into my arms. In fairness to him, he is in trial, which means he is working literally 24/7. Which means I am totally alone from 6 am till 10 at night. BUT he has NEVER gotten up in the middle of the night! Seriously, he would come home from work and say "I am soo tired" and I just wanted to hit him. At least he was getting sleep!!! Things are better now since I told him how I felt. And he really does love O and want to help, he just doesn''t know what I need unless I tell him.

Ok, here is my question for all of you: HOW do you get such good pictures? What cameras are you using? ALL of you get such clear good pictures of your babies, I feel like I can totally see their personalities. Every picture I take is terrible, and I can''t capture him at all. Any tips on cameras and for taking pictures is much needed!!!!!

 

[taovandel]

Man, hearing these IL stories are making me so thankful for my extended family. My in laws are sick and are staying far away from here. They don''t give out advice unless asked, they don''t come over without calling first to see if it is okay, etc.

And, I know it''s only been a week but my husband has also been really helpful. He only had one bad night--where he slept through the entire night and never woke up to help with the feedings. But other than that he''s been great! I agree---I think guys are just a bit clueless about taking care of babies. My husband took him last night and came to get me like an hour later and was frustrated....I check him and he has a dirty diaper...He was so busy worried about him eating that he never thought to check his diaper. I think it also comes from them being worried about messing something up. My husband is always worried that he''s doing something wrong--so I always have to reassure him that he''s fine and that I also don''t know what I''m doing--we are both learning at the same time.


My sister came over yesterday to take his 1 week newborn pictures....

Didn''t have time to resize these properly--sorry if they are kinda small.

 

[taovandel]

I love him to pieces...

 

[taovandel]

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[taovandel]

He was born on Halloween, so my mom ran out and bought him a costume (It''s actually a costume for a dog!)

 

[taovandel]

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[taovandel]

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[taovandel]

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[taovandel]

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[taovandel]

Almost done...sorry for posting so many!

 

[taovandel]

Last one....

 

[ChinaCat]

Quick question: at what age did you start using the jumperoo or exersaucer?? They all say when the kid can hold their head up unassisted, but what does that mean? O can hold his head up, but not his body. So I won't put him in the bumbo yet, but when he is on my shoulder or sitting anywhere with his torso supported, then he can totally hold his head up. Too early? He loves standing up and bouncing.

He will be 3 months on Tuesday, if that helps.

Lysser- did you try that bouncer that Ebree posted?

ETA: Tao, what beautiful pictures of Evan! He's a wrinkled cutie!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 11/7/2009 4:32:21 PM
Author: ChinaCat
Quick question: at what age did you start using the jumperoo or exersaucer?? They all say when the kid can hold their head up unassisted, but what does that mean? O can hold his head up, but not his body. So I won''t put him in the bumbo yet, but when he is on my shoulder or sitting anywhere with his torso supported, then he can totally hold his head up. Too early? He loves standing up and bouncing.

He will be 3 months on Tuesday, if that helps.

Lysser- did you try that bouncer that Ebree posted?

ETA: Tao, what beautiful pictures of Evan! He''s a wrinkled cutie!

China, I bought the Jumperoo when Daisy was about 4.5 months. She could stand pretty much on her own for 20 seconds or so, just with my hands to support her from falling over rather than holding her up, she could sit alone but flopped forwards after a few seconds, and had complete head control.

Honestly I would have put her in one at 4 months but probably not much before that. Her feet only just touch the floor now! At 3 months I think he may be a bit little still. Can you try one out in a store?

It is fantastic though.

Tao - Beautiful photos - he''s lovely!