PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Blenheim]

Mara - I feel like J is too young for this, but since you said he''s abnormally alert - I think that a lot of babies go through a stage around 4ish months when they are just super squirmy and distractable and it''s really hard to feed them. What helped when G was going through that (and he still goes through it at times) is nursing in a separate room away from people, no tv or anything distracting, quiet calming music if you must have music on. Sometimes he''d get too distracted if I had a book or computer and keep trying to grab at it, and in those cases I had to just sit there with him while nursing. And if he''s just not in the mood to nurse, doing something else and then trying again in 10-15 min. Oh,and play around w diff nursing positions to see if some work better than others.

 

[Sabine]

Dreamer, interesting. I think I agree with you more than it seemed in my original posts, you just said it much better! I don''t think that dh''s should be let "off the hook" for doing anything, just that sometimes it''s a struggle for men to do things that women accept as their "job" so never think to question even if they are struggling to figure out how to do it themselves. It was interesting that you said if you''re there, your dh will still ask you about things even if they are things he could do on his own if you weren''t there...that''s the kind of thing that reinforces that men need to be given the chance to take an active role.

Burk, I also wanted to add that there''s a product called the Angle Care Monitor that monitors breathing or heartrate or something, so if you do decide to let your LO tummy sleep, getting that monitor could give you some peace of mind.

 

[Mara]

thanks blen... i am hoping it's some sort of stage... he's been a little better today and i am learning some tricks to get him to eat...one of them is the waiting a few min, or 10 min then trying again. i can see sometimes he does get distracted and tries to watch the TV or look outside or whatever.

pg ...hope DH can get home tonite. tell him to take C to the concert tomorrow with him hehe. i always joke with G that he should put J in the bjorn and take him to work or whatever haha.

sabine...that monitor sounds awesome..!! i didnt even think about looking for a monitor like that.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Thanks Mara. We''ll see about the concert. Honestly, it can seem scary to take care of Claire by myself, but then when I''m doing it, it''s not that hard. There''s one week until spring break, and my students are all doing performances or taking tests next week, so I guess I can afford to get behind on work stuff this week. The sad thing is that I''ll probably have to drop Claire off at daycare over spring break to get grading done.

In good news, I wrote my resignation letter tonight and will turn it in tomorrow. We''re still trying to figure out what to tell daycare. They want us to let them know if we''re participating in the summer program, so I guess we''ll probably tell them what we''re thinking. We''re just a little worried because what with the "one year wait list" and the director who likes to make sure she "clicks with" parents before admitting children, we don''t want there to be any negativity directed towards us for staying such a short time. Well, what I mean is, if there is going to be negativity, we don''t want that affecting the 2.5 months Claire will still be at daycare. We''d rather give 2 weeks notice later in the year, although I do want to be upfront so they can plan to fill Claire''s space. I just get the sense that the director might think we''ve let her down.

Re Sabine''s advice: the funny thing is that I don''t think this applies to me and DH. Obviously being new parents is stressful and we have conflict at times, but I don''t really think I''m more connected to Claire than he is other than that I have the boobs she eats from. We spend equal alone time with her (he has an hour before work; I have an hour after work). The only thing is that he can''t get her to fall asleep if she''s crying inconsolably and I can, but I attribute that to my ability to make her comfortable on my squishy post-partum belly.

I also think if he would just keep trying with the sleep thing, he would get it. Or maybe this is the mommy instinct telling me how to read/soothe her?

He''s always been more of a baby person than I am, and in the beginning with the C section and the baby blues, I think he bonded much more quickly with her. Obviously there''s a bodily connection we have that he can''t experience, but I don''t look at him thinking that he''s always doing stuff with her wrong. Mostly my gripes are that he''s doing stuff with/for me wrong.

But I think this has a lot to do with personality. DH told me he wouldn''t be comfortable with a "manny" because he''d feel jealous, and I thought, hmmm, I really don''t think I''d be jealous of a nanny. I think it''s because I''m an INTJ, and we rarely doubt ourselves or feel threatened -- not to sound conceited, but I think it''s just from being a more logical person. I''m the thinker, and DH is the feeler. I''m content to sit back and let Claire form attachments with other people without worrying that they''ll do things wrong or I''ll be supplanted, whereas I know mothers who can''t bear to leave their children with other caretakers.

At least DH made the second plane!

Despite the fact that I never found other people''s babies interesting, I must say that I.LOVE.MY.DAUGHTER.TO.PIECES. She is the sweetest little thing, and I''ve never loved anything more.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 3/28/2010 7:47:49 PM
Author: Sabine
Dreamer, interesting. I think I agree with you more than it seemed in my original posts, you just said it much better! I don''t think that dh''s should be let ''off the hook'' for doing anything, just that sometimes it''s a struggle for men to do things that women accept as their ''job'' so never think to question even if they are struggling to figure out how to do it themselves. It was interesting that you said if you''re there, your dh will still ask you about things even if they are things he could do on his own if you weren''t there...that''s the kind of thing that reinforces that men need to be given the chance to take an active role.

Burk, I also wanted to add that there''s a product called the Angle Care Monitor that monitors breathing or heartrate or something, so if you do decide to let your LO tummy sleep, getting that monitor could give you some peace of mind.

Yes, I see that now. Just different ways of thinking about the issue I guess, but essentially the same sentiment!

Re he works and I stay home so it is my job to care for baby Here is how I look at it -- he goes to work outside the home for 8 hours per day and I am at home *working* for eight hours a day at a frankly more boring and tiring job. So when he is home after work and weekend, it is 50/50 thank you very much

And Mara my DH actually took 8 weeks paternity leave (gov''t funded) when HUnter was born. He got razzed a lot. But ALL the women he worked with were jealous their husband''s couldn''t/wouldn''t do that too. So I figure, DH knows which side his bread is buttered on

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Dreamer, I think paternity leave is so important and I don''t get why it isn''t more common / why men get a hard time from their colleagues and friends. DH was home with DD and me for the first four months, which I saw as the crucial bonding time. They bonded. He is her other parent, not her second parent. I recognise that not everyone has the opportunity to do this and that the UK / European attitude to maternity and paternity leave is different, but I wonder how many men would take the opportunity if it was given. DH worked part time until my maternity leave was over (DD was 14 months) so we could both enjoy that first year with her and neither of us felt overwhelmed. I know that''s unusual, but it isn''t unheard of and it''s been so good for us as a couple and as a family.

For anyone thinking about a breathing monitor, we used this one and it was great. Clips onto the front of a diaper, so no wiring and you can use it anywhere.
http://www.respisense.com/en/index.php

 

[fieryred33143]

Good Morning Ladies

How is everyone today

? We have nothing to report except that Sophia is finally showing interest in crawling

or maybe

. Haven''t decided haha

She managed to lift her belly off of the floor and yesterday she was lifing her belly and one leg. I think she''s finally realizing that her toys come faster if she moves that little booty! We''re going to be in trouble though because she''s a little inspector. She can be surrounded by all of her toys and instead she''ll pick at the tiniest spec on the ground. She''s going to force me to clean the floors every day

.

Re: Another baby

So I''m having really weird baby fever right now. Not because I want another right now (still deciding if I even want to have another) but because I feel bad that Sophia is so alone. I saw a pic of her this weekend at a b-day party where she was sitting by herself playing with a stuffed animal. She didn''t look sad or even lonely but alone. It broke my heart. Obviously she doesn''t know the difference but I felt bad. So now I''m rethinking whether I''m one and done and also if our plan of "in 5 years" makes sense.

 

[steph72276]

Hey, girls. Hope everybody had a great weekend. Our was wonderful...we spent all of Sat. outside enjoying the beautiful weather we had. We went to Andrew''s t-ball game, then out to lunch then had some family over to grill out some yummy shrimp that night. Last night Evan slept 7 hours (yea!) but was wide eyed at 4am and didn''t want to go back to sleep until 8 at which point I had to take Andrew to school. Then it was off to the doctor for his 2 month appointment. He was 10lbs, 12 oz which is in the 25th percentile and 22.5 inches, which is between the 25-50th percentile. She was really happy with how he is growing. I told her about his reflux issues, but we agreed not to put him on meds unless it was a necessity. He got his shots (boo!) and I felt so bad for him...he was on the table smiling and cooing at me when she first stuck him and he got this look on his face like "how could you!" So sad. But he was a champ, and stopped crying after like 15 seconds and went right to sleep in his carseat about 2 minutes later. I''m just going to keep a watch on him today to see how he does...crossing my fingers for no fever. Hope everyone has a great day!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Steph, I can''t believe he''s 2 months old already!!! Yay for the good checkup (minus the shots, of course).

So, I turned in my letter of resignation!

The principal warned me that if I want to get back in the district if things don''t work out financially, I might not be able to in this climate, but I really can''t worry about that. If DH couldn''t work, we couldn''t pay the mortgage on my teacher''s salary anyway, and if he''s working but we decide we need to supplement his income, I think I''ll look for something that doesn''t require working after hours (of course, I could drop down to 6th grade or something and get rid of a lot of the extra work, but that''s not why I got into this profession). So anyway, I''m not looking back. Woo hoo!

Here''s a picture of Claire in her new outfit; DH sent it to me this morning.

 

[steph72276]

Now that I''ve had a chance to catch up from the weekend:

Burk: I would LOVE a workout thread to keep motivated. It seems like even though I''m back into working out, the scale won''t budge, so I need to have someone push me to keep at it.

PG, Claire is too cute!

Tao, yea for E sitting up!

Pandora, D is adorable as usual....she looks so big in her highchair!

Mara, when does J go for his shots? I will let you know how E does, but so far he''s just been sleeping away.

Dreamer, thanks for the link for the cream. A has some exzema issues going on so we might try that.

Mandi, I agree with you that all that matters is that they are safe and happy. I have learned to back off when Adam is taking care of the boys and realize he''s not going to do everything my same way.

Ginger, awww love the faux hawk. A is such a cutie pie!

Fiery, we did the 5 years apart plan (well, actually I would have liked them 4 years but it didn''t work out that way). I think it works out SOOO well b/c Andrew is getting to be so independent. The other night, Adam was working late so I didn''t have any help with bedtime routines, and I was so happy A could finish his own shower and put on his pjs so I could get the baby when he started crying. I don''t know how people do it with kids so close in age, but I have so much respect for those that do it!

Sunkist, sorry W was sick and he scratched his head.

Anchor, the box pic is so cute!

RPS, have fun looking at houses!

Hi Lili, Blen, Sha, Mrs.M, Kaleigh, Puffy, MonkeyPie, Sabine and anyone else i might have missed!

 

[AmberWaves]

Hi Mommies!

Quick drive by to ask about babies and Easter bunnies: should i have P visit him? She''s currently in her "I hate EVERYONE who isn''t Mommy or Daddy" phase and I think she''d be a nightmare.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I''m trying my hands-free pumping bra thing again on the recommendation of a coworker. I think the first time I tried it, I was too fat for the band width and not patient enough to figure it out. It''s working, but it''s more uncomfortable than normal pumping. It''s better than having the pump connector dig into my leg arm like it normally does, though.

 

[AmberWaves]

PG. I have that top for Piper! I had the pants, but they''re no longer able to be found. I swear, we lose her clothes all the time.

 

[Mara]

amber...why not have P try to visit the EB? it may not work out but since you are also trying to get her to be ok with other people, i would just do it as ''exposure''.

fiery.. lol re the baby fever. you can come take care of J for a few days and i am sure it will cure you hehee. i think he is sooo super cute but every time he has a fuss-fest it solidifies my resolve to only have one. hehe.

steph...glad to hear E did ok at his shots!! J gets his on Thurs. i am not looking fwd but hopefully it''s ok. he got stuck so many times in the first few days of life due to his jaundice, poor kiddo. it got so when they grabbed his foot he would immediately start crying knowing what was coming.

re: the 25% percentile, honestly i have a small vent about this. in what world is a 2 month old baby at almost 11lbs only 25%?? my cousin had the world''s most giant baby and she was something like 95% even though she was the size of children 1-2 years older than her as she got older!! and she''s just a big girl...but i remember thinking ''how is your kid not off the charts??''. i kind of feel like the kiddie percentile scale is like our womens clothing scale.. it gets larger to accommodate the growing population sizes of the US and make people feel ok. J looks like a total fatty baby to me but he was only 45% in weight...and you know we got the suggestion to try to fatten him up from the pedi when she even SAID he looked fine. anyway...i don''t think anyone should feel bad because their baby is too small or too large or whatever according to the %% thing...not that anyone here is feeling bad but i swear it bugs me when i hear first time moms freaking out about their kids too low weight when their kid looks fine (and i include myself here because now i kind of realize that J was totally fine originally).

PG.. C is so cute in the outfit!! and she''s getting so big!! yay for your resignation..!

dreamer... G took 3 weeks pat leave, in CA he can take up to 6 but with his job being so crazy it just wasn''t the right time to take that much. i was so happy to have him for 3 though! and he can take the other 3 within a year from birth so he might take a week or two later in the year. but having the hubs around for a period of time is totally priceless!
____________________

J is officially 2 months today!! wow we are in the months now. my little boy is growing up, its so crazy. it feels like it has gone by SO incredibly fast, but on the flip side it feels like he has been with us much longer than that. on a slightly depressing note i go back to work in 6 weeks.

we also are trying to start bassinet to crib transition. J has been in his nursery since i think week 3 and we are so glad we did that part early. but i''ve been trying to get him used to the crib since he didn''t seem to take to it as well as the bassinet. given his growing size, i am afraid he will outgrow bassinet sooner rather than later so we have decided to try to transition him totally to crib. so we put him after his 6am feeding and typically he will sleep 3-4 hours from that point BUTTTTTT Greg was home this morning to take a call and was making breakfast and washing dishes and talking so J woke up 1.5 hours later. i put his sheep on and reswaddled and he dropped off for 45 min, then woke up. i just re-sheeped...he got hiccups but now is passing out again, hopefully for another 45 min (sheep time). so i can''t really say today was a success BUT typically after the morning feed its quiet in the house since i go back to bed when he does...so i can''t really count today since it was abnormal re: G being home. anyway we will keep trying this until hopefully he is doing his 3-4 hour stretch in the crib with no blips and then we will try the LONG stretch from 9pm to 5/6am which is what i don''t want to mess with right now.

i might try to move up his bedtime again to 8:30 or 8 because he has been getting so dopey earlier in the evening...last nite we put him down at 8:30 but he fought it so hard, crazy kid!! even though he was a total mcfuss the last hour i just knew he was exhausted. but he slept til 6am so i can''t complain.

also, i don''t necessarily want to mess with his bedtime at the same time we''re doing crib transition OR maybe i do so that it just happens all at once? i don''t know. this is all trial and error.

 

[Burk]

Thanks everyone who commented on the tummy sleeping!! K must have sensed I was frustrated about sleep and contemplating it because two nights ago he went 6.5 hours (swaddled on back/side) and last night he went 7.5!!

Getting him down is a struggle (usually reflux flares at night so he is uncomfortable) but if it takes me an hour to get him down I''m okay with that if it means I can sleep for longer than 2 hours!

Sabine~Thanks! I remembered you had a rough time and co-slept. That''s just not an option for us since I have a two year old as well (although if he was my first I may have considered it). Thank goodness things have improved for us because I doubt I could have done the tummy sleep thing until he''s rolling.

PG~Congrats on resigning from work. You must feel relieved. I teach 8th grade (part time) and I rarely have to take work home. I cannot imagine how much work you have to do after school hours. Yuck!

MP~Thanks for coming over. My friend is a labor and delivery nurse and said the same thing. Although she says side sleeping is okay.

Amber~I''d give it a try. Nothing hurt in trying.

Steph~Glad the shots went well! While I''m a realist and know that at 6 weeks my abs aren''t going to be back and my body in perfect shape, it still makes me sad/frustrated to look in the mirror. I could use the support!

Mara~Crib transition was a little rough on us (maybe that''s why I was contemplating tummy sleep!

) but after a few days he figured it out. I''m sure J will do great since he''s such a good sleeper. If I have time this afternoon I''ll start a thread so we can all whine about post baby bodies and cheer each other on!

Fiery~You''ve got time to decide if you want number two since you want them further apart. I think you''ll know what the right decision for you is when the time comes. And, Sophia will be perfectly happy either way!

Okay, cleaning lady is here and we have to go meet our real estate agent to sign papers (we sold our house!!!) and then I have errands to run before I pick T up from daycare. Happy Monday all!!

 

[qtiekiki]

Steph - Glad E did great with the shots and growing well.

Mara - Can''t wait to see J''s stats. Our J''s appointment is on Friday. I am interested in his stats b/c M was always 90 percentile or over on the girl''s growth chart, and it''s just neat to compare their stats.

Burk - It makes me sad when I put on clothes, especially the muffin top.

 

[Sabine]

So I have a tip for all those of you with sleep issues. I read in one of the sleep books (I think No Cry Sleep Solution) that singing a specific song can be a great sleep "cue" that will eventually help your LO know that it''s time to go to sleep. So I started a song that I sing while rocking Jacks before naps and bedtime (slightly different versions of a really silly song I made up) when we sleep trained at 4 months, and I''ve sung it for EVERY nap and at EVERY bedtime since, just because I''m a creature of habit. I never thought much about it since I started it. Well, recently, I''ve noticed that as soon as I put him in his sleep sack, turn on the white noise, and start singing the song, he puts his head on my shoulder and often yawns! He could be jumping in my arms seconds beforehand, but he starts settling as soon as I start singing! I really think it helps him know that it''s time to go to sleep and start winding down when I sing it while rocking him.

So even though it may take a really long time to work, a sleep song might be a good idea to start singing one!

And look what Jacks can do! These past few days have been crazy, he got his first tooth, he''s almost crawling, and even though he can''t pull himself all the way up yet, if we help him, he can stand!

 

[taovandel]

Go Jacks!!!!

 

[steph72276]

So I think I may be in for a LONG night ahead. E has slept literally all day since his shots. He has only woken up a few times since the shots for feedings, then right back to sleep. I tried to keep him awake, but no luck. I would sing, tickle his feet, we went for a walk and nothing worked so I just gave up and figured he needed his sleep after the shots. Did anyone else''s little one do that after shots? I feel so bad for him. At one feeding, he felt a little warm and was fussy, so I gave him a few drops of tylenol.

Amber, I think you should take her. Andrew never liked the characters, but even if she cries or makes a funny face, you will have a funny picture to look back at!

PG, love that little outfit...girl clothes are so cute!!

Mara, I totally agree with you on the whole percentile thing. I never really paid too much attention to it with A. He was always right in the middle for weight and on the higher side for height. And I for sure thought E would be higher, he seems so chunky now that he has gained weight (almost doubled it since we left the hospital!). I just think as long as they look nice and healthy, that''s all that matters at this stage. Oh, and I would go ahead and do the crib transition as soon as possible so J can get used to it before you go back to work. I''m sure he''ll do fine.

Burk, sounds good...I will be checking in to the workout thread! Yea for K sleeping so well last night!

QT, hope you guys have a good appointment on Friday! Oh and I don''t believe you that you have a muffin top, you are tiny girl!

Sabine, I did the same song(s) with Andrew and I think it helped too. I don''t sing much with E b/c I have the rocker out in the living room and don''t want to subject my family to such torture!

 

[phoenixgirl]

I feel like a broken record, but I''m frustrated with DH. Not angry frustrated, just tired/sad frustrated. He just has these bizarre passive aggressive deflection tendencies. Can I blame his crazy mom? OK, let''s do that.

I''ve been voicing my frustration at the crazy schedule this past week, and his responses have run the gamut from being syrupy sweet like I''m five ("Oh honey! But I want you to be rested!" all cheerful and Stepfordish, but not offering to change anything) to offering to take care of Claire for 36 hours like I did this weekend (all I wanted was appreciation, not some empty offer -- great, I''ll just pump a gazillion bottles beforehand and then spend my random 36 hour break from Claire by myself somewhere pumping furiously). Then tonight he had the concert at 8 and started running out the door at 7. It''s a rock concert, nobody goes an hour before the opening band. Then he claimed he had to be there 40 minutes early to give his friend a ticket. Finally I just asked if they were meeting for drinks, and he admitted yes. Oh good, so now he''s resorting to lying.

I am not some fragile idiot who must be lied to or handled with kid gloves.

All I want is for him to ask me when he plans things, not tell me. I want him to be willing to cancel things if I am too stressed. The thing is, I am very direct. I say this over and over, and all I get is bizarro husband in return. The syrupy sweet thing is the most annoying because it says, "You are some foolish nagging wife who must be placated with falseness." OK, I take it back, I am a little angry. But mostly just tired.

 

[puffy]

sabine what a cute jacks is!! yay for standing...he looks like such a big boy when he''s standing.

burk yay for a long stretch of sleep. i swear those few extra hours make all the difference.

steph don''t worry just yet about E sleeping all day. N slept 6 straight hours during the day after his shots then back to sleep until 8am the next morning!!!

 

[puffy]

double post...sorry

 

[Pandora II]

PG, I''m so sorry that you are having a bad time.

I hope you won''t be offended, but have you considered that you might be getting a bit depressed? Perhaps you should talk to someone about it. It''s not to say that the issues you are having aren''t very real, but when you are depressed it gets hard to deal with things that normally wouldn''t cause you much difficulty.

I also understand where you are coming from. I was seriously annoyed with DH last night. He''d been away on a course the whole of last week, so I had been with Daisy 24/7 for 5 days. He came back on Friday evening, we went out for the day with my parents on Saturday, then to see friends on Sunday. Got back home at 5pm and he says he''s going off out to play poker... and leaves me on my own for the rest of the evening, getting home just before midnight.

Daisy is teething at the moment and so isn''t sleeping and is being unbelievably clingy and difficult. She''s up pretty much all day and all evening no matter what I try, as a result I''m exhausted and irritable.

I decided to say something when he got home rather than just keeping quiet and feeling resentful, so I told him that I was somewhat annoyed that after being away all week that he''d then gone out Sunday night as well. His response was that it didn''t seem unreasonable for him to have evenings that weren''t work events or being with Daisy. I couldn''t believe it... so I asked him when the last time was that I had had a whole evening to myself to do anything I wanted - he was a bit shocked when I explained that it was the 14th May 2009 and since she was born I have NEVER had more than 4 hours without her.

He was a bit shocked I think.

Most of the time he is really good, but he doesn''t always spot when I''m really stressed by it all and need a bit of extra help or moral support.

 

[anchor31]

Mara - Jacob started doing that too about the same age as your little J (I just noticed they are exactly a month apart). Stiil does it. For me I think he gets frustrated sometimes if the milk starts flowing slower, and sometimes he''s just fighting to stay awake, rubbing his eyes and all that. I usually try patting his bum or changing sides.

PG - I''m so sorry you''re going through this. Do you think you''ve reached the point where counselling would be in order? It''s a slippery slope, and him resorting to lying is pretty extreme (and wrong).


I was thinking about my own marital situation today and I realised that one of our problems is that I wish DH would volunteer to help more so I wouldn''t feel like a nag having to ask every time I would like a hand. Thing is, that''s not going to change. Every time we have a discussion about sharing chores, we get into an argument and it never changes. So I''m just going to have to keep asking. DH has a friend who had a baby 5 months before us and apparently he''s not a very hands-on dad and his SO fell into PPD, so DH told me a couple of times that if I needed help I should ask. So there you have it... I will probably always have to ask and I need to tell myself to get over it.

 

[drk]

Quickie me post here for my first veture into the mommy thread.
Went for a doc appointment today at 13 days. Kara was born at 3255g, dropped to 2970g at 4 days, was back up to 3005g at 6 days, and now a week after that at 13 days is only up to 3100g. Not even back at her birth weight yet. We''re exclusively breastfeeding, no pumping, no supplementing. Any suggestions? Doc just said to wake her up and feed her every 2 hours, and come back on Thurs to check her weight again. Other than that, there were no concerns.
Help!

 

[Mandarine]

Drk Welcome and congrats on baby Kara!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I can't help but I'm sure someone here will! My guys were so small that I had to supplement right away because their blood sugar levels were too low...so I'm no help

It is COMPLETELY normal for babies to lose weight though....she should catch up by her 2 week appointment, I wouldn't be too concerned!

Mara My guys started the same thing at about that same age. It goes in phases with them...sometimes I have to make sure EVERYTHING is quiet so they eat....when they are eating I can't talk and nobody can (sometimes) because they stop eating. Other times it's not an issue....it's really odd. They also go through phases like they hate eating (shake head form side to side even though they are starving...end up finally eating after a scream fest and then they are happy). I have no idea what it is, I have attributed it to reflux, to teething...and to craziness

I hope J doesn't give you too much trouble!.

I was telling DH the other day I wish someone was begging me to eat and nap all day long...like I feel like I do with the boys! haha, what a life!

Sabine I sing the same song every night to my little guys..or when I need them to calm down...and it WORKS!. They calm down even if I just hum it.

Anchor I think that's a common thing with husbands...they don't want a nagging wife, but they also come back with "how would I know you need such and such if you don't TELL me?". Well, we do the SAME routine every day...get a clue...right?. I have this problem with DH...and it has gotten better. I was just honest with him. Like on bath days, I would have to always ask him what I needed him to do...even though it was the same thing EVERY time! (empty the tub, get one baby naked, entertain one baby, etc). Anyway, he would tell me things such as he wasn't a mind reader...and I explained that yes, for some things that's true...but I told him that for the day to the day things I shouldn't have to ask because then I turn into the nagging wife nobody wants!....men!

**

Well, that's all I remember because I fell way behind!!!!!

Little guys are doing good. I'm feeling like I may come down with something, but I fell that way last week and it turned out to be nothing. Hopefully it's the same now!

Went shopping for dresses for some events we have coming up and I found some cute things at Ann Taylor Loft! Definitely helped build my self esteem back up a little!!!. I need to be more consistent with my workouts though...hopefully now that the guys are better and I started to work again, I can find a new routine that works.

Anyhoodles, it's bedtime!!! Good night!

 

[fieryred33143]

DrK I ditto the suggestion from your pedi. I would do every 2 hours during the day and at very most 4 hours at night. Once she''s back to birth weight, I''d go to every 3 hours during the day and no more than 5 hours at night until her weight gain stabilizes.

Hope you are doing well!

PG I''m sorry you are having such a difficult time. All I can say is that it''s normal to go through these frustrations. Do you get out of the house often without Claire? I know its a PITB to pump but its worth it for a few hours to yourself. Just working and taking care of baby would drive anyone crazy/angry. I also agree with you that he needs to stay behind if you are feeling overwhelmed because its not easy.

This is probably an unpopular opinion but when I was going through my troubles with FI, I realized the power of demanding not to be confused with nagging. He wasn''t helping at all and when I finally just had it, I started demanding things. Go change her diaper while I prepare a bottle. Go prepare a bottle while I change her diaper. Get out her pjs and diaper while I give her a bath.

I also remembered to thank him when he did help.

Eventually he got with the program and I didn''t have to say anything anymore. If it was bed time, he''d get up and prepare a bottle. Now it has gotten to a point where he tells me to do things or he''ll just do everything himself.

Same thing with the weekends. I was waking up all night and then getting up early to take care of Sophia until I would tell him to do it. Now we take turns. On Sunday when she woke up, he said "its my turn" and got out of bed. I didn''t wake up until 10:30 and by then she was already napping and he had made breakfast.

Some men are great at picking up on what needs to get done from the beginning. Others need a gentle tug in the right direction. Some, like mine, need to be pushed

.

 

[Mara]

ditto fiery on ''demanding'' but really it''s just asking in a stronger way.

like you said, Mandarine, G tells me ''well just ask for help'' when i get frustrated on things. he says he isnt a mind reader. and i can respect that. he doesn''t know that my sideways glances and passive aggressive loud sighs mean i want him to turn the TV down, why should he? so now i just say...hey we need to turn the TV off so we can finish the bedtime routine. and we do and it goes fine. i think routine is important for the guys too. G knows what needs to be done in J''s room so while i am finishing feeding him he goes into his room, shuts the shutters, turns on the night light, puts the sheep in place, etc. and if he is feeding him at 5am i go in after pumping, make sure the shutters are tightly closed, put the sheep on, check the heater temp, etc.

sabine, great tip on the song. i read that and i remember thinking ok i have to have ''sleep words'' or whatever but i havent quite gotten there yet. sometimes i hum or sing a version of rockabye baby but i made up my own words, but it''s not consistent. mostly we do the SHHH and the happy baby rocking so far. and his sheep. jacks is so cute standing!

steph...hope E just sacks out all night and gives you a 12 hour stretch!!

PG...sorry that hub isn''t cooperating with the program... have you guys sat down to discuss what could be working better in general? and i agree that you should try to get out without the baby if you can...i typically try to go out for an hour each day after greg comes home or my mom comes over and take care of J..she just LOVES it and actually pushes me out the door even if i dont know WHERE TO GO... i just make something up so i can get out. and sometimes i don''t even really want to but i am glad i do. while 36 hours is a little long, the smartass in me would have said, how about we break it up into 6 hour chunks of 6 and you fork over some spa money...hehee.

re: the bucking bronco while eating... well it''s a LITTLE better today but i think it''s mostly that now we know a bit better how to deal with it. it seems like he will eat 2oz easily but then after that he starts with the frantic arm and leg waving, bucking, head turning side to side, etc. sometimes he even cries with the bottle or boob in his mouth a little. i don''t know if maybe his tummy is acting up...the last 2 days at diff times he might have a bit of extra reflux, but other times he seems totally fine after eating, its just WHILE eating. he has been a bit more of a fuss in between feedings and he seems extra tired for whatever reason which is so bizarre to me because he sleeps so long at night. i am just attributing it to growing...but then i am surprised he doesnt WANT to eat more. anyway we''ll keep at it and ask the pedi on thurs what she thinks.

tonite he had a fair amt of reflux after fighting the bottle. i managed to get him to eat 5.5oz out of his 6 but then he barfed out what seemed like a lot, it seemed also like some partially digested stuff came out from BEFORE. i felt bad for making him eat when he was obviously feeling a bit barfy. his reflux seems to kind of come and go and isn''t consistent. i had felt like it was getting better, but this week it seems like he''s struggling a little bit.

i too am excited to see J''s stats on thursday... it''s been 3 weeks since our last visit when he was just 10lb so i am hoping he''s a little porker at 12lbs or something but prob not...hehe. i''d be happy with 11 actually. his head seems giant lately.

re: clothes and muffin top... yep it''s a sad state of affairs, the body after childbirth!! my hips and ass are the bane of my existence right now. oh and the **** star, ruinsthelineofyourclothing boobs. i think my feet are my new favorite body part. and even they are a little bigger. i haven''t tried to get my toe rings back on since the 3rd week pp when they umm...didn''t fit.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 3/29/2010 9:44:05 PM
Author: drk
Quickie me post here for my first veture into the mommy thread.
Went for a doc appointment today at 13 days. Kara was born at 3255g, dropped to 2970g at 4 days, was back up to 3005g at 6 days, and now a week after that at 13 days is only up to 3100g. Not even back at her birth weight yet. We''re exclusively breastfeeding, no pumping, no supplementing. Any suggestions? Doc just said to wake her up and feed her every 2 hours, and come back on Thurs to check her weight again. Other than that, there were no concerns.
Help!

So she gained 3.5 oz in the last week -- that is great! Hunter also lost a lot and that was the rule of thumb I was told that they aimed for in terms of healthy gains-- half oz. or more of gain per day on average, so that is what they will check on Thursday I would assume, to see if she is still gaining at a good rate. Also, I was told that the "regaining birth weight by 2 weeks" notion is outdated and not really accurate for many EBF babies. I know it is hard, but as long as her energy is good when she is awake, she has active periods, she seems satified after nurings, she has good color and lots of pees and poos (6 heavy wet diapers and at least one poop per day that is orange/yellow/green) then you just have to have a little faith in the whole process. A baby who is not getting enough to eat is a MISERABLE loud and crying baby. I learned that the hard way when my milk came in 7 days later.

I EBF as well, and it sounds like things are going well since she is gaining, but honestly, if you are worried, giving her an oz. of formula after each nursing session can''t hurt her or you. Just make sure it is *after* she nurses to keep up your supply, and keep following the docs advice!

But in your shoes I think I would keep doing what you are doing and see where things stand on Thursday. I am sure she is going to be fine!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 3/29/2010 10:31:41 PM
Author: fiery

This is probably an unpopular opinion but when I was going through my troubles with FI, I realized the power of demanding not to be confused with nagging. He wasn''t helping at all and when I finally just had it, I started demanding things. Go change her diaper while I prepare a bottle. Go prepare a bottle while I change her diaper. Get out her pjs and diaper while I give her a bath.

I also remembered to thank him when he did help.

Eventually he got with the program and I didn''t have to say anything anymore. If it was bed time, he''d get up and prepare a bottle. Now it has gotten to a point where he tells me to do things or he''ll just do everything himself.

Same thing with the weekends. I was waking up all night and then getting up early to take care of Sophia until I would tell him to do it. Now we take turns. On Sunday when she woke up, he said ''its my turn'' and got out of bed. I didn''t wake up until 10:30 and by then she was already napping and he had made breakfast.

Some men are great at picking up on what needs to get done from the beginning. Others need a gentle tug in the right direction. Some, like mine, need to be pushed

.

Yup. very wise post. I am the task master and DH prefers it. Most of the time.