Pregnancy FREAKS me out!

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:27:57 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/22/2009 11:17:38 AM
lol) Maybe I'll wait till I'm about 40 when I don't look good anymore. Where else in the PS community can I feel comfortable enough to say stuff like this?

Not the case my dear, if you take care of yourself you can still look and feel FABULOUS in your forties and beyond! I wouldn't trade 20 years to look the way I did back then, I far prefer how I look now.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Yeah you are right. Look at Jen Aniston. She''s smokin at 40...

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:42:51 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
Yeah you are right. Look at Jen Aniston. She's smokin at 40...

She is! Great example! I enjoy beating the drum that it isn't all over at 40, you can be gorgeous and desirable still, plus it gives hope to you young things!

You will see what I mean when you get there!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:42:51 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
Yeah you are right. Look at Jen Aniston. She''s smokin at 40...

Well yes... but she''s unfair hot.... I don''t have the money to pay to be that hot.

Even us "normal women" are still hot at 40!

 

[Dreamgirl]

I think part of my fear is because I''m a petite person. So I don''t see how I can possibly push 8+ pounds of baby out of my body. I just don''t see how its humanly possible. Too bad you can''t give birth to a very healthy baby at 4 months in. I can probably push that out. Maybe.

And like I said, I don''t like the idea of being cut open either. It just seems like a loose loose situation for me.

 

[princesss]

Interesting note about the open heart surgery.

I''m actually very comfortable with the idea of a C-section, because at one point I thought I was going to have to have open heart surgery. So I got used to the idea of being cut open. But a natural birth (with meds, though) freaks me out. Somehow the totally invasive idea of surgery freaks me out less than the natural way of doing things.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:44:24 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 6/22/2009 11:42:51 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
Yeah you are right. Look at Jen Aniston. She''s smokin at 40...

She is! Great example! I enjoy beating the drum that it isn''t all over at 40, you can be gorgeous and desirable still, plus it gives hope to you young things!

You will see what I mean when you get there!

It sure doesn''t seem that far away. 12 years flies by quickly! Too bad we can''t have children at 90...lol

 

[elrohwen]

I remember watching "The Miracle of Life" (or whatever it's called) in high school and half of the girls in my class were so freaked out that they swore they would never ever have children. Haha.

I agree that it's definitely a bit weird, but I also think it's something you don't get until you've been there. Which is why men never get it

ETA: I'm 25 and freaked out about pregnancy and kids in general ... come and find me in 10 years and see what I say.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:47:52 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
I think part of my fear is because I''m a petite person. So I don''t see how I can possibly push 8+ pounds of baby out of my body. I just don''t see how its humanly possible. Too bad you can''t give birth to a very healthy baby at 4 months in. I can probably push that out. Maybe.

And like I said, I don''t like the idea of being cut open either. It just seems like a loose loose situation for me.

You''ll be fine. I''ve seen plenty of tiny women (probably tinier than you) have babies and survived.

I saw a woman the other day with her hubby, walking down the street with their newborn. She couldn''t have been more than 4''10" and about 90 pounds... and that is a generous estimate. She looked like she made it through OK!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Yeah. But it just seems like so many women WANT to badly have children and things as mentioned in this thread don''t appear to go through thier minds. Maybe I''m wrong though. Maybe it does and they just don''t show it.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:47:52 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
I think part of my fear is because I''m a petite person. So I don''t see how I can possibly push 8+ pounds of baby out of my body. I just don''t see how its humanly possible. Too bad you can''t give birth to a very healthy baby at 4 months in. I can probably push that out. Maybe.

And like I said, I don''t like the idea of being cut open either. It just seems like a loose loose situation for me.

Hahaha...hence my breakdown with TGuy.

That''s why the second trimester is the honeymoon one. You feel pretty good. The baby is moving but it''s not insanely uncomfortable. And yes, even though you are showing, you''re in "cute" preggo stage where it all seems manageable..

By the third tri, you''re looking at your body with horror (and possibly awe) thinking, it CAN''T get any bigger. It''s can''t I don''t understand how this is going to make it out! OK, I know there are TWO ways out, but neither is really OK by me at this point!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:49:26 AM
Author: elrohwen
I remember watching ''The Miracle of Life'' (or whatever it''s called) in high school and half of the girls in my class were so freaked out that they swore they would never ever have children. Haha.

I agree that it''s definitely a bit weird, but I also think it''s something you don''t get until you''ve been there. Which is why men never get it

ETA: I''m 25 and freaked out about pregnancy and kids in general ... come and find me in 10 years and see what I say.

Yeah, I''m 26, and its scary. I KNOW I want kids, so I''m slowly getting myself used to the idea. I''ve been reading a lot about pregnancy and what to expect. I''m a researcher by nature, so I like to know as much as possible before I commit to anything.

Plus I stalk the FHH forum to get ideas about how I want to parent. Its been a phenomenal resource.

FI and I plan to wait until I''m just about 30... so about 3 years, before we have kids. That''s plenty of time to catch up on my reading.

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:49:26 AM
Author: elrohwen
I remember watching ''The Miracle of Life'' (or whatever it''s called) in high school and half of the girls in my class were so freaked out that they swore they would never ever have children. Haha.

I agree that it''s definitely a bit weird, but I also think it''s something you don''t get until you''ve been there. Which is why men never get it

ETA: I''m 25 and freaked out about pregnancy and kids in general ... come and find me in 10 years and see what I say.

OMG, I was a second semester senior the first time I saw that movie. Scared me silly. I walked around for months saying, "There''s no way in h*ll I''m ever having sex, because I''m not risking THAT. No way, no how."

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:51:23 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
Yeah. But it just seems like so many women WANT to badly have children and things as mentioned in this thread don''t appear to go through thier minds. Maybe I''m wrong though. Maybe it does and they just don''t show it.

LOL... I thought the same thing about marriage. That everyone pretends its awesome when they''re married, and once you''re in, you recruit others to join in even though its awful. It''s like Amway!

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:52:49 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 6/22/2009 11:49:26 AM
Author: elrohwen
I remember watching ''The Miracle of Life'' (or whatever it''s called) in high school and half of the girls in my class were so freaked out that they swore they would never ever have children. Haha.

I agree that it''s definitely a bit weird, but I also think it''s something you don''t get until you''ve been there. Which is why men never get it

ETA: I''m 25 and freaked out about pregnancy and kids in general ... come and find me in 10 years and see what I say.

Yeah, I''m 26, and its scary. I KNOW I want kids, so I''m slowly getting myself used to the idea. I''ve been reading a lot about pregnancy and what to expect. I''m a researcher by nature, so I like to know as much as possible before I commit to anything.

Plus I stalk the FHH forum to get ideas about how I want to parent. Its been a phenomenal resource.

FI and I plan to wait until I''m just about 30... so about 3 years, before we have kids. That''s plenty of time to catch up on my reading.

Man, I stalk those threads like none other. I''m on the fence about kids, but I feel like I might as well have some idea of what I''m getting into and what parenting styles I like.

32 sounds like a good age to have kids, so I''ve got about 9 years of reading and observing ahead of me.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:52:49 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 6/22/2009 11:49:26 AM
Author: elrohwen
I remember watching ''The Miracle of Life'' (or whatever it''s called) in high school and half of the girls in my class were so freaked out that they swore they would never ever have children. Haha.

I agree that it''s definitely a bit weird, but I also think it''s something you don''t get until you''ve been there. Which is why men never get it

ETA: I''m 25 and freaked out about pregnancy and kids in general ... come and find me in 10 years and see what I say.

Yeah, I''m 26, and its scary. I KNOW I want kids, so I''m slowly getting myself used to the idea. I''ve been reading a lot about pregnancy and what to expect. I''m a researcher by nature, so I like to know as much as possible before I commit to anything.

Plus I stalk the FHH forum to get ideas about how I want to parent. Its been a phenomenal resource.

FI and I plan to wait until I''m just about 30... so about 3 years, before we have kids. That''s plenty of time to catch up on my reading.

Well turning 28 doesn''t help anymore. It just freaks you out more!!! Because time''s-a-ticking and I''m not-a-clickin...

elle- I''m a researcher too. Anytime I have a problem, I''m researching it and diagnosing myself.

I think that''s why FF and I watched that Nova thing. It was pretty cool but it just freaked me out even more. As in, I was like "Don''t TOUCH me!!!!" and "Sorry, I wont be having your children! I just CAN''T do it!"

Obviously I''ve seen birthing videos in the past but this was more into the entire process of it growing inside. It just freaked me out to the max...

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:00:07 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 6/22/2009 11:52:49 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 6/22/2009 11:49:26 AM
Author: elrohwen
I remember watching ''The Miracle of Life'' (or whatever it''s called) in high school and half of the girls in my class were so freaked out that they swore they would never ever have children. Haha.

I agree that it''s definitely a bit weird, but I also think it''s something you don''t get until you''ve been there. Which is why men never get it

ETA: I''m 25 and freaked out about pregnancy and kids in general ... come and find me in 10 years and see what I say.

Yeah, I''m 26, and its scary. I KNOW I want kids, so I''m slowly getting myself used to the idea. I''ve been reading a lot about pregnancy and what to expect. I''m a researcher by nature, so I like to know as much as possible before I commit to anything.

Plus I stalk the FHH forum to get ideas about how I want to parent. Its been a phenomenal resource.

FI and I plan to wait until I''m just about 30... so about 3 years, before we have kids. That''s plenty of time to catch up on my reading.

Man, I stalk those threads like none other. I''m on the fence about kids, but I feel like I might as well have some idea of what I''m getting into and what parenting styles I like.

32 sounds like a good age to have kids, so I''ve got about 9 years of reading and observing ahead of me.

That makes it much easier to digest. I''m starting to panic a bit about 3 years. That''s... close. Its weird.

Yeah, the FHH forum rocks. I''ve learned SO MUCH from stalking in there. Its just nice to hear from real people and their personal experiences, rather than just some doctor with the new and best way to raise a spoiled brat.

 

[luckystar112]

I''m okay with the thought of being pregnant. In fact, I''m not that terrified of having an epidural or a c-section.

What FREAKS ME OUT is the thought of potentially having to have an episiotomy.

I took a human sexuality class where they showed a picture of it. It didn''t show the actual clipping so there wasn''t any blood, but it did show the scissors (sorry, I don''t know the name of the tool) stretching the skin in an "about to be snipped" pose. Oh. My. God.
I think I''d rather have a c-section than experience that, as weird as that sounds. I''m sure an episiotomy is much less dangerous than a c-section.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:09:18 PM
Author: luckystar112
I''m okay with the thought of being pregnant. In fact, I''m not that terrified of having an epidural or a c-section.

What FREAKS ME OUT is the thought of potentially having to have an episiotomy.

I took a human sexuality class where they showed a picture of it. It didn''t show the actual clipping so there wasn''t any blood, but it did show the scissors (sorry, I don''t know the name of the tool) stretching the skin in an ''about to be snipped'' pose. Oh. My. God.
I think I''d rather have a c-section than experience that, as weird as that sounds. I''m sure an episiotomy is much less dangerous than a c-section.

Yeesh.

Maybe ignorance is bliss...

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:09:18 PM
Author: luckystar112
I'm okay with the thought of being pregnant. In fact, I'm not that terrified of having an epidural or a c-section.

What FREAKS ME OUT is the thought of potentially having to have an episiotomy.

I took a human sexuality class where they showed a picture of it. It didn't show the actual clipping so there wasn't any blood, but it did show the scissors (sorry, I don't know the name of the tool) stretching the skin in an 'about to be snipped' pose. Oh. My. God.
I think I'd rather have a c-section than experience that, as weird as that sounds. I'm sure an episiotomy is much less dangerous than a c-section.

That's what freaked me out too (still does). I'm thinking, what? You can tear all the way to your a**? How am I going to take care of my baby when all of my internal organs fall out of that big a** hole??

After you have a csection, one of the tough things is that you have a bit of gas trapped inside you, which is difficult to let out because your abs are obviously traumatized. They also want to make sure all movements are OK down there. And when I realized everything was OK and FELT normal with no burning or pain, I remember being in the bathroom and grinning like an idiot, thinking...AAAHH, it all feels the same and happy! I was just SO relieved (no pun intended) and totally thought it was a HUGE benefit to the c-section. Never mind that I was dealing with a hole in my tummy, I was fine...really!

ETA, I should say though, that I am still an advocate of vaginal birth and would go for a VBAC except that my local area hospitals don't allow it.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Isn''t it that more and more women are getting c-sections? That''s another thing, being petite...do they tell you that''s how you have to deliver? Because maybe it isn''t humanly possible to push one out being small yourself...

 

[Pandora II]

LOL on how one looks at around 40 - trust me you feel just as you do when you are younger. Plus, you can bounce back - I''m in all my normal size 6-8 clothes and 5 weeks ago I was bursting out of size 18 maternity trousers. Most of the weight is water and it just falls off you in the first few weeks, plus breast-feeding really helps your uterus shrink down and you burn an insane amount of calories...

Dreamgirl - no they don''t poop inside you, unless it''s just before they are born and they are in distress. They do wee, but the amniotic fluid is constantly being replaced all the time so it''s not like they are swimming around in a sac full of pee!

On the size issue, I was talking to my midwife about this (I have very tiny feet for my height and was worried about my pelvis size) and she said that nature will give you a child the size you are capable of birthing. True disproportion between the baby''s head and your pelvis size is extremely rare. The only time problems really occur are if donor eggs are used or if your DH is MUCH bigger/taller than you are.

C-section is what I always thought I want - until I did some research and lets just say that my ultimate fear when they were rushing me to theatre was that they would do a c-section (and trust me forceps are no joke). Electives are almost impossible to get here so most people don''t get the option anyway.

 

[ckrickett]

pregnancy doesnt freak me out, but childbirth scares the bejeebus out of me.
I mean.... EEK

Epideral (or however you spell it)... here I come baby!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:21:30 PM
Author: Pandora II
LOL on how one looks at around 40 - trust me you feel just as you do when you are younger. Plus, you can bounce back - I''m in all my normal size 6-8 clothes and 5 weeks ago I was bursting out of size 18 maternity trousers. Most of the weight is water and it just falls off you in the first few weeks, plus breast-feeding really helps your uterus shrink down and you burn an insane amount of calories...

Dreamgirl - no they don''t poop inside you, unless it''s just before they are born and they are in distress. They do wee, but the amniotic fluid is constantly being replaced all the time so it''s not like they are swimming around in a sac full of pee!

On the size issue, I was talking to my midwife about this (I have very tiny feet for my height and was worried about my pelvis size) and she said that nature will give you a child the size you are capable of birthing. True disproportion between the baby''s head and your pelvis size is extremely rare. The only time problems really occur are if donor eggs are used or if your DH is MUCH bigger/taller than you are.

C-section is what I always thought I want - until I did some research and lets just say that my ultimate fear when they were rushing me to theatre was that they would do a c-section (and trust me forceps are no joke). Electives are almost impossible to get here so most people don''t get the option anyway.

Very interesting! Thanks for the insight...

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:20:00 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Isn''t it that more and more women are getting c-sections? That''s another thing, being petite...do they tell you that''s how you have to deliver? Because maybe it isn''t humanly possible to push one out being small yourself...

DG, physical size has nothing to do with it. It''s your pelvis. My friend is so slim, she has hips that would rival an 11 year old boy. She''s popped out three kids easily and also looked pre-preggo hours after her births, the b*tch.

And don''t forget...when you get pregnant, things soften and widen up...so that big a** is coming your way! Now run, don''t walk, to fertile-land!

 

[vetrik]

This thread is very interesting to me because I''ve always felt the opposite.

I am completely freaked out by actually being responsible for *raising* an entirely new human being. I mean, when people start therapy, what''s the first question - "tell me about your mother?"! Once I''m a mother, I''m basically in charge of a molding a whole new person from the cellular level to be a functioning member of society!

Meanwhile, pregnancy fascinates me. I always hoped that pregnancy would be something I would be able to experience in my life - I feel like there''s no way to understand how it feels to have the baby moving inside you and to create a being who will have it''s own personality and mind except to actually do it. That part is actually amazing to me! I would have gotten pregnant years ago to experience it if it wasn''t for the child that actually comes out at the end! I also have never really been nervous about labor - it''s a few hours of your life. Granted, it''s probably some of the most painful hours of your life, but it does pass and people end up doing it again! In the end pregnancy and labor is less than a year of your life (unless you''re Michelle Duggar

) - once you give birth, you are a parent forever!

I do have to say that I am not interested in the attention that comes with pregnancy. I''m 38 weeks right now, and truthfully, I prefer not to draw any attention to it. I consider myself lucky that I started showing pretty late, so I didn''t start getting any of the normal comments until pretty recently. I think I enjoy being pregnant privately, but not publicly.

I say all this as I sit here 2 weeks from my due date, and I still feel the same way. I have had some moments of thinking how freaky it is that there is another person inside of me - I remember one of those moments was a few weeks ago when I read that eggs have already formed in the ovaries if it''s a baby girl. That means that if I''m having a girl, I am carrying the eggs that could become my grandchildren someday inside of me - very strange! However, overall I''m very glad I''ve been able to experience this, and although it may sound weird, I know I''ll miss feeling the baby moving around after it''s born. I''m still nervous about actually raising this child that''s inside of me right now, but the one thing I''ve learned through pregnancy is that it is true that everything comes in steps - I won''t need to worry about how to deal with bullies or homework or dating right away, I''ll just have to figure out how to make sure the baby is fed and cleaned!

 

[Maisie]

I had an episiotomy with my first child. Believe me you don''t even know its happening! I recovered very well afterwards too. They made me pour cold camomile tea over the stitches... not sure what that was all about!

You should be more worried about pouring tea over your nether regions. Its virtually impossible unless you stand on your head!

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:37:30 PM
Author: Maisie
I had an episiotomy with my first child. Believe me you don''t even know its happening! I recovered very well afterwards too. They made me pour cold camomile tea over the stitches... not sure what that was all about!

You should be more worried about pouring tea over your nether regions. Its virtually impossible unless you stand on your head!

And it''s better than tearing.

 

[jstarfireb]

Date: 6/22/2009 11:42:26 AM
Author: CJ2008
Does anyone else also worry about the ATTENTION they'll get while pregnant? I'm not interested in that either. I definitely don't want to sit on the phone with friends who already had babies telling me 'see, I told you so, isn't it wonderful and aren't you so happy' and let's share in all the wonderfulness

and all kinds of people wanting to take care of me. I'd like to just say 'hey, guess what, I had a baby!' hahahahah

Seriously! What about pregnancy gives people (especially strangers!) the right to touch your belly, ask you when you're due, etc? It's like you become fair game for other people to harass just because you're belly is big. Not cool.

ETA: Regarding episiotomy, there are actually very few indications for doing one these days. It's not been proven to be any better than repairing what tears naturally (and in some cases worse) for most women. Regarding fetal poop (it's called "meconium"), it's actually a sign that the fetus is in some sort of distress during labor. And amniotic fluid is basically fetal pee.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:26:18 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/22/2009 12:20:00 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Isn''t it that more and more women are getting c-sections? That''s another thing, being petite...do they tell you that''s how you have to deliver? Because maybe it isn''t humanly possible to push one out being small yourself...

DG, physical size has nothing to do with it. It''s your pelvis. My friend is so slim, she has hips that would rival an 11 year old boy. She''s popped out three kids easily and also looked pre-preggo hours after her births, the b*tch.

And don''t forget...when you get pregnant, things soften and widen up...so that big a** is coming your way! Now run, don''t walk, to fertile-land!

lol...gee thanks! Sounds like SO MUCH FUN.