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Potential Proposals?

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luvbirds09

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 8, 2009
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1
Hi, My name is Kim. I''m 24. Have a wonderful boyfriend. We''ve known eachother for about a year and a half, but have been officially together for alittle over 6 months, live together, his parents love me, mine love him, so far I have to say this is the best relationship I have ever had.

Now I guess my question come from the fact that he has promised never to propose again, and he wants the girl to propose. (Has to do with a past girlfriend/fiance who died from a car accident, right after he had proposed to her)

Hes made comments (drunken ones) that he wanted me as his fiance and wife, but we''ve never really sat down and talked about marriage or made it a consentual agreement. So I dont really know how to read him, wiether he wants me to propose, weither I should just wait and see if he changes his mind about the proposing thing. Because I know if he asked, Id say yes. I''m just not use to the whole she asks him concept...

Any tips, Advised, Experiences????

Thanks Everyone
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
Hi Kim!

There are some lovely ladies on here who have proposed to their men that will hopefully chime in with some advice. The best story I can recall that I''d followed was Princess Dijon and her proposal to her BF. Here is her thread so you can read about her journey, hopefully she won''t mind. I''m sure I''ve come across others but I can''t think of the OP''s names to search for threads.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/the-beginng-of-my-journey.89691/
 

njseeker

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
121
First, congratulations on finding a great relationship! I am sorry to hear about your bf''s story... so tragic. Here is my advice...

For me, even a year would be a bit short dating wise but I dated my gf for years before getting engaged. My parents only dated for a month or two before getting engaged, so everyone''s different.... But in both instances, before getting engaged both my parents and me and my fiancee really talked about timing and expectations and when we should get engaged and married etc. (in my instance it was more my gf sharing with me what her hopes were in terms of timing). So, I think before proposing you need to talk to him a bit more openly about the idea of getting married/engaged to make sure that you guys are both on the right track timing wise. I think you need to be pretty clear about not just wanting to get married but how long you guys should be dating before getting engaged. I think it is very difficult to interpret the intent of comments made while not being completely clear headed. I think if you do that you are running a very big risk.

As to the how part... that''s very difficult b/c you are proposing to him and b/c of his very sad history. Once you are ready to make a proposal maybe you could get him drunk again and ask him how he envisions it? One idea I thought of was may be you could purchase something akin to a promise ring for him but in your instance it would be an engagement ring for him? If you know what type of wedding band he would like may be you could purchase that for him now? I know that''s not traditional but this isn''t exactly a traditional engagement/wedding... =)

Good luck!
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
audball and njseeker both gave great advice. PrincessDijon''s thread is a great read and it was really fun to follow!

It sounds like you and your BF haven''t really had a serious conversation about marriage/getting engaged. If he''s only brought up the topic with a few drinks in him, then you both need to sit down and discuss the future of your relationship and your expectations for an engagement and marriage. I''m sorry to hear about your BF''s past and I can understand his apprehension towards a proposal, so this is something you both need to seriously discuss to make sure you are on the same page. With that said, I don''t think it''s weird for the woman to propose to the man. If this is what you are both comfortable with, then the meaning behind the proposal remains the same.
 
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