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Possibly moving to France
- Thread starter soxfan
- Start date
Hi Soxfan, I'm not French but I will reply since no one else has yet! Although I'm not French I grew up just eighty miles from France and spent a huge amount of time there, and have friends and family who lived there.
The area you're going to is near gay Paree and Versailles, so that will be fantastic.
Are you American and have always lived in America? If so, you will have to lower your expectations of service. Europe does not have anything approaching the service level that America has. The tipping system is different and in essence, people are not working for tips in the same sense that American servers are. Servers don't really smile at you and the standard "I'll be taking care of you today" greeting doesn't really exist. Most of the time, in the UK anyway, you wait so long for the bill to be taken after you've put your card or money down that you end up getting up yourself and taking it to the cash register. In France, Croatia, and Slovenia, I have experienced exaggerated eye rolls for a simple request such as "Do you have Diet Coke?" and this behaviour on the part of servers is widely tolerated. Honestly, some servers look at you with total disgust for daring to come to their restaurant! Some of them are so grumpy it's actually funny. Just know that it is not personal. It's just the culture.
Secondly, I would seek out ex-pats and ex-pat groups for socialising. The reason is because France is quite religious and extremely family-oriented (The French Government even awards a Motherhood Medal) which means that the French social world is quite hard to break into since people spend a lot of time at home with their extended families, cooking, taking care of the older generations, etc. So if you wait to make French friends, this can take a long time and you might get lonely. I'd head for the nearest ex-pat groups because they are the ones who will be going out and experiencing France, whereas the French are very involved with their own churches, communities, and families. Since you will be near Paris, there will be a ton of American/British/Irish/Australian ex-pats, I'm sure.
It will be an amazing experience. France is so beautiful - definitely make time to travel round and see it. As you probably know, the Loire is not far from where you will be, and is full of fairytale chateaux. Another place I'd highly recommend is the Dordogne, which is full of mediaeval towns and villages which are like stepping back in time. A main town there is Sarlat. Bordeaux is also definitely worth a visit. Also, the south, with St Tropez and Biarritz is not to be missed, and you should take the chance to visit Monte Carlo/Monaco. Bit further afield, but much easier than going from the States!
The area you're going to is near gay Paree and Versailles, so that will be fantastic.
Are you American and have always lived in America? If so, you will have to lower your expectations of service. Europe does not have anything approaching the service level that America has. The tipping system is different and in essence, people are not working for tips in the same sense that American servers are. Servers don't really smile at you and the standard "I'll be taking care of you today" greeting doesn't really exist. Most of the time, in the UK anyway, you wait so long for the bill to be taken after you've put your card or money down that you end up getting up yourself and taking it to the cash register. In France, Croatia, and Slovenia, I have experienced exaggerated eye rolls for a simple request such as "Do you have Diet Coke?" and this behaviour on the part of servers is widely tolerated. Honestly, some servers look at you with total disgust for daring to come to their restaurant! Some of them are so grumpy it's actually funny. Just know that it is not personal. It's just the culture.
Secondly, I would seek out ex-pats and ex-pat groups for socialising. The reason is because France is quite religious and extremely family-oriented (The French Government even awards a Motherhood Medal) which means that the French social world is quite hard to break into since people spend a lot of time at home with their extended families, cooking, taking care of the older generations, etc. So if you wait to make French friends, this can take a long time and you might get lonely. I'd head for the nearest ex-pat groups because they are the ones who will be going out and experiencing France, whereas the French are very involved with their own churches, communities, and families. Since you will be near Paris, there will be a ton of American/British/Irish/Australian ex-pats, I'm sure.
It will be an amazing experience. France is so beautiful - definitely make time to travel round and see it. As you probably know, the Loire is not far from where you will be, and is full of fairytale chateaux. Another place I'd highly recommend is the Dordogne, which is full of mediaeval towns and villages which are like stepping back in time. A main town there is Sarlat. Bordeaux is also definitely worth a visit. Also, the south, with St Tropez and Biarritz is not to be missed, and you should take the chance to visit Monte Carlo/Monaco. Bit further afield, but much easier than going from the States!
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- Messages
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Do you and your family speak French?
I hope so.
The French are almost as arrogant as the Americans when it comes to expecting you to speak the local language.
BTW, how can kids attend school that is taught in a language they don't' speak?
But overall traveling, especially living, overseas is the most mind-opening experience, especially for kids.
Talk about learning that people vary!
Years ago I was in the military and I backpacked all around Europe on a Eurail pass for several weeks.
I spent a day in Paris and, other than a dreamy visit to the Louvre, I couldn't get out of that place fast enough.
When I become fluent in French I'll return since I know the country has massive wealth of art, cuisine and culture to offer.
I hope so.
The French are almost as arrogant as the Americans when it comes to expecting you to speak the local language.
BTW, how can kids attend school that is taught in a language they don't' speak?
But overall traveling, especially living, overseas is the most mind-opening experience, especially for kids.
Talk about learning that people vary!
Years ago I was in the military and I backpacked all around Europe on a Eurail pass for several weeks.
I spent a day in Paris and, other than a dreamy visit to the Louvre, I couldn't get out of that place fast enough.
When I become fluent in French I'll return since I know the country has massive wealth of art, cuisine and culture to offer.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2013
- Messages
- 4,814
kenny|1386371704|3569093 said:Do you and your family speak French?
I hope so.
The French are almost as arrogant as the Americans when it comes to expecting you to speak the local language.
BTW, how can kids attend school that is taught in a language they don't' speak?
But overall traveling, especially living, overseas is the most mind-opening experience, especially for kids.
Talk about learning that people vary!
Years ago I was in the military and I backpacked all around Europe on a Eurail pass for several weeks.
I spent a day in Paris and, other than a dreamy visit to the Louvre, I couldn't get out of that place fast enough.
When I become fluent in French I'll return since I know the country has massive wealth of art, cuisine and culture to offer.
DH and I will do rosetta stone. The kids will go to a bi-lingual school with french immersion classes. I am a teacher, and am hoping to volunteer in their school and attend the immersion classes as well. We will also seek out some English-speaking areas. DH and I both speak pretty good spanish, so we should learn quickly enough. I want to live in the country and grow lavender.
To tell you the truth, I am a little fed up with the U.S. and would love to give this opportunity to my children…..
I am kind of excited. We have a house showing tomorrow too. No one looks in December unless they are really serious.
Our other choice is Massachussetts, but DH wants to be in the "Senior office." There is quite a disconnect between the States office and Velizy...
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2005
- Messages
- 34,498
Sounds wonderful.
Since you have the learning-French aspect down I say, GO!
Your kids are soooooo lucky, you and DH too!
BTW my comments about about Americans and French people are generalizations, obviously there are exceptions but exceptions don't make generalizations generally true. Duh!
I say this because invariably someone will post their personal experience as if a sample size of 1 or 2 negates large sample sizes, which is what generalizations are based on.
My generalizations are not based solely on my personal experience which only has a sample size of 1.
Since you have the learning-French aspect down I say, GO!
Your kids are soooooo lucky, you and DH too!
BTW my comments about about Americans and French people are generalizations, obviously there are exceptions but exceptions don't make generalizations generally true. Duh!
I say this because invariably someone will post their personal experience as if a sample size of 1 or 2 negates large sample sizes, which is what generalizations are based on.
My generalizations are not based solely on my personal experience which only has a sample size of 1.
PetitiePoire
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2011
- Messages
- 406
My husband is French, so I'll try respond based on my experiences living in France. First, that's great your children will be in a bilingual school. They are also young, so should pick up French pretty easily. The French school system is quite a bit different than the US. There is an expat forum you can google and find loads of information on that and have people chime in on the exact area.
I'm not familiar with Velizy, except it's general location, so I can't give you specifics on that except you will be close to Versailles and Paris, so will be able to find tons of English speaking groups and possible even English teaching jobs.
Life in France is very very different than the US. Definite pros and cons. As long as you keep an open mind and enjoy every opportunity to learn and experience another lifestyle you'll be fine. The French are actually really nice, in my experience. I am not fluent in French and had no problem surviving there. When shopping there was always someone who could tell I wasn't French and would try to help in English. It wasn't to be rude to me, it was them actually trying to help and get an opportunity to use their English. I think if you go there expecting everyone to cater to you then you might have a different experience, but I know that's the same here in the US.
Getting set up in France (banking, cells, renting, etc) can be a bit challenging for foreigners, but if your DHs company aides in that way then take the help. Again, you'll find very useful information by looking at the expat forums.
If you have any specific questions I can do my best to answer or find the answer.
Also, find out if your husbands company offers Rosetta Stone before you buy it or try the free version. I find books and podcasts to be more helpful. I guess it depends on your learning style.
I'm not familiar with Velizy, except it's general location, so I can't give you specifics on that except you will be close to Versailles and Paris, so will be able to find tons of English speaking groups and possible even English teaching jobs.
Life in France is very very different than the US. Definite pros and cons. As long as you keep an open mind and enjoy every opportunity to learn and experience another lifestyle you'll be fine. The French are actually really nice, in my experience. I am not fluent in French and had no problem surviving there. When shopping there was always someone who could tell I wasn't French and would try to help in English. It wasn't to be rude to me, it was them actually trying to help and get an opportunity to use their English. I think if you go there expecting everyone to cater to you then you might have a different experience, but I know that's the same here in the US.
Getting set up in France (banking, cells, renting, etc) can be a bit challenging for foreigners, but if your DHs company aides in that way then take the help. Again, you'll find very useful information by looking at the expat forums.
If you have any specific questions I can do my best to answer or find the answer.
Also, find out if your husbands company offers Rosetta Stone before you buy it or try the free version. I find books and podcasts to be more helpful. I guess it depends on your learning style.
blingmyring
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2009
- Messages
- 209
Hi Soxfan, I lived in Paris as an ex-pat for over 15 years. Follow the link below to learn about the Bloom Where You're Planted program offered by the American Church in Paris (located near the Eiffel Tower). They usually have two sessions a year but if you miss them you can still buy the book. The event and book are a must for expats, you'll also make lifelong friends. You should also check out the American Women's Group in Paris (AWG) - they have monthly coffees, museum outings, etc ..... Moving to France was a wonderfully enriching experience for our family, and the European work experience was a huge plus on my DH's CV. BONNE CHANCE!
http://www.acparis.org/community-activities/bloom-where-youre-planted
http://www.acparis.org/community-activities/bloom-where-youre-planted
SB621
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2009
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- 7,864
DH and I have lived overseas before a few times actually, and we are currently moving to Germany in 6 weeks so understand your concerns.
So from past experience (this may or maynot help):
Shipping international is a pita.
Most of the world outside the US doesn't have closet space. Make sure everyone has a burea before you leave.
Check to see if you can bring your cars over. And if you can is there a mechanic who can actually work on them near you.
For children they can go local however, most of Europe has international schools where English is mainly spoken. I have no opinion of local vs. international. It is whatever works best for your family.
The expat community is amazing and a culture all by themselves. If you can fall in with them then great. We have lifelong friends all over the world who are expats that we will always keep in contact with. It is amazing how some experiences bond ppl together.
Know what medical options you have and I mean READ ALL THE FINE PRINT. Pending your DH's job/ country etc you might have issues getting dental/ vision etc.
French is easy to pick up. We speak a mix of 3 languages in our house. My mother lived in France for years so she speaks only french with our children. It is amazing how quick they pick it up. Regardless you can live in France for all 3 years and never speak a word of French and still get by. The majority of Europeans speak several langagues. However, I think it is always admired when you at least try to learn it.
If you get on Pinterest there are several "ladies and gentlemen of leisure" (deemed in the expat community as the spouse) who have excellent blogs and/ or pinterest sites they keep updated. I would do a google search and see if anyone is in that community that could offer assistance with information etc. They will know exactly what you are stepping into. So sorry this didn't really offer any assistance on the actual area you are moving too. More my thoughts about moving overseas as this will be our 4th move OCONUS.
So from past experience (this may or maynot help):
Shipping international is a pita.
Most of the world outside the US doesn't have closet space. Make sure everyone has a burea before you leave.
Check to see if you can bring your cars over. And if you can is there a mechanic who can actually work on them near you.
For children they can go local however, most of Europe has international schools where English is mainly spoken. I have no opinion of local vs. international. It is whatever works best for your family.
The expat community is amazing and a culture all by themselves. If you can fall in with them then great. We have lifelong friends all over the world who are expats that we will always keep in contact with. It is amazing how some experiences bond ppl together.
Know what medical options you have and I mean READ ALL THE FINE PRINT. Pending your DH's job/ country etc you might have issues getting dental/ vision etc.
French is easy to pick up. We speak a mix of 3 languages in our house. My mother lived in France for years so she speaks only french with our children. It is amazing how quick they pick it up. Regardless you can live in France for all 3 years and never speak a word of French and still get by. The majority of Europeans speak several langagues. However, I think it is always admired when you at least try to learn it.
If you get on Pinterest there are several "ladies and gentlemen of leisure" (deemed in the expat community as the spouse) who have excellent blogs and/ or pinterest sites they keep updated. I would do a google search and see if anyone is in that community that could offer assistance with information etc. They will know exactly what you are stepping into. So sorry this didn't really offer any assistance on the actual area you are moving too. More my thoughts about moving overseas as this will be our 4th move OCONUS.
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nkarma
Brilliant_Rock
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- Jul 13, 2009
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I just wanted to say congratulations!!! What a great opportunity for you and your children.
Others have offered really great advice for settling in as an expat. In my experience, the French have been nothing but nice and helpful. Like anyone, they are proud of their heritage and love to tell foreigners about it.
Someone gave me the best advice when moving abroad. They said seek out people who have lived abroad themselves. It is so true! They are more likely to open up their lives to you.
I too wouldn't worry about the language too much. You will easily find English speakers and pick it up as you go.
Others have offered really great advice for settling in as an expat. In my experience, the French have been nothing but nice and helpful. Like anyone, they are proud of their heritage and love to tell foreigners about it.
Someone gave me the best advice when moving abroad. They said seek out people who have lived abroad themselves. It is so true! They are more likely to open up their lives to you.
I too wouldn't worry about the language too much. You will easily find English speakers and pick it up as you go.
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