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Please let me out

missy

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Here we go again. What’s wrong with people?

I was exiting a public restroom yesterday and as I’m leaving this older lady starts pushing past me. It’s a narrow door so room for only one. I was clearly there first. Well, I stopped and said please move out of the way. She was clueless. I shared some expletives and was not demure about it. I’m so sick and tired of rude people.

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I mean here we are deep in Covid and this woman didn’t care. Close as close could be when all she had to do was wait a moment so I could pass.

What about you? Have you experienced any rude behavior recently?

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missy

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@missy I don't have time for rudeness. A little thought and politeness doesn't cost anything.
Yes occasionally we have it here and I have had to ask people to keep their distance. :x2

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No matter how old I get people’s rude behavior never cease to amaze me.

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But yeah, just gotta let it roll off our shoulders. I’m glad we don’t have to live with them. :/
 

missy

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When I used to take the subway this happened often. People would try to come onto the train before letting others out. Is this just a NYC phenomenon? Or do others experience this as well?
 

mellowyellowgirl

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When I used to take the subway this happened often. People would try to come onto the train before letting others out. Is this just a NYC phenomenon? Or do others experience this as well?

Nope!!! They do it here in Australia too.

It is the most infuriating and stupid thing. If I can't get off the train there is no room for you, you nitwit!!!!!

Off topic but public bathrooms freak me out!!! Omg especially toilets on planes!!!!! I can hold for 8-10 hours so I used to time my plane trips to ensure that the flights for each block were no longer than that amount of time and I could use the airport bathroom instead.

Mad props to Singapore for having the best airport bathrooms!!!!!
 

autumngems

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Yep, common courtesy went right out the door with COVID, people being so nasty
 

missy

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Mad props to Singapore for having the best airport bathrooms!!!!!

There’s a lot I like about Singapore!

I wish I could hold it for many hours. I can’t. Kudos to you for being able to. I feel every time I use a public restroom I’m taking my life into my hands.
 

missy

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Yep, common courtesy went right out the door with COVID, people being so nasty

Honestly I think this was the same pre Covid. It’s just more shocking now because Covid makes it even more dangerous behavior. But imo common courtesy has been lacking for a long time. Polite and civil behavior seems a rare thing.
 

rainydaze

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Right there with you @missy . Not anything new with Covid, this has been a burr in my side for years. Elevators, same. Sidewalks... don't get me started. When I'm walking on a sidewalk with someone, we move single file if someone else is coming toward us. I am not happy about the number of people who don't do the same.... they and their companions stay abreast without a care in the world for others. I don't move in further when that happens, and there have been some bumps as a result. One guy lost his Starbucks because he and his TWO other companions didn't move an inch as we all passed each other (my DH moved behind me). I can only hope that loss clued him in and inspired a little consideration moving forward.
 

marymm

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Trying to be charitable, perhaps the older lady didn't have time to wait for you to exit? Meaning she was in a state of emergency so to speak?

I know as my mom has aged (now in her 80s but this started perhaps 15 years ago), when she has to go, she has to go!, and she has to hustle to get to the bathroom in time. Her top priority is not to embarrass herself (wet herself).

Of course this can happen to people of different ages and gender, just because we have waited too long; but often it is health-related and out of the person's control.

Based on your posts here I wouldn't have guessed countering rudeness with more rudeness would be your response, missy, but particularly now I am aware sometimes we all react without thinking. These uncertain times are really taking a toll on us all.
 
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dk168

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I get that all the time, young as well as old people.

I am aware of my own space around me, yet some people have no respect for social distancing.

I step aside when I feel someone is too close for comfort, and would ask politely and assertively when I have to go past people if I feel they are not going to get out of my path.

Hey ho!

DK :))
 
S

SallyB

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I live in an apartment building with elevators and people are constantly trying to get on them with neighbors. WTF? I’ve started loudly stating “I‘M SICK” as the door opens on other floors. Most people back up when they hear this (though not all, if you can believe it). There are two elevators side-by-side per building wing and you almost never have to wait more than 30 seconds for one. Yet 30 seconds is too much for some people. SMH.
 

Karl_K

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Trying to be charitable, perhaps the older lady didn't have time to wait for you to exit? Meaning she was in a state of emergency so to speak?
I was taught in a multi-stall bathroom people coming in have the right away for that reason if possible.
 

anne_h

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Agreed, there are always at least a few rude / clueless people around. And during COVID, I know my own tolerance for it is down. We're all more stressed and impatient...

I had a similar door incident at a store, although the other person didn't push past... I was exiting the door onto the street (only room for one person) and another person was walking right up as if she'd just squeeze right by me. I instinctively stopped and put my hand up and said "step back please"... and to her credit, she backed right up. We were both polite about it.

I also get super annoyed when I'm out walking... people hang around on the sidewalks, chatting at a social distance. Great, nice, enjoy yourselves... but that forces all the walkers to pass around the chatters by walking on the road with the cars. If you're going to be stationary, please move somewhere else, like a driveway or yard. Please and thank you. lol

Anne
 
S

SallyB

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There’s a lot I like about Singapore!

I wish I could hold it for many hours. I can’t. Kudos to you for being able to. I feel every time I use a public restroom I’m taking my life into my hands.

The older I get, and now with COVID, the more I wish I lived in a society like Singapore. I’m so tired of American (selfish) individualism.

My husband wants to take a one-day road trip. We’ll bring our own food and drinks. I’m thinking about wearing Depends. :lol:
 

Austina

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It’s not just a NY subway phenomenon @missy, the London Underground is pretty bad for people trying to rush on before letting others off.

Honestly, I think some people are totally clueless about the current situation, or they just don’t care. We went to the supermarket the other day, and a woman was blocking the aisle because she was busy gabbing on her phone :x2

My bugbear about door etiquette is holding it open for someone who just walks through and doesn’t bother to thank you. I always shout after them “You’re welcome”.
 

lyra

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We don't have any public restrooms open yet. I can't go out without one available. I can't excuse this lady, but I have a weak bladder and sometimes have to hurry. Was she not even wearing a mask? I have to wear a mask to go anywhere. I'm not even sure if our malls locally are open.
 

missy

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Trying to be charitable, perhaps the older lady didn't have time to wait for you to exit? Meaning she was in a state of emergency so to speak?

I know as my mom has aged (now in her 80s but this started perhaps 15 years ago), when she has to go, she has to go!, and she has to hustle to get to the bathroom in time. Her top priority is not to embarrass herself (wet herself).

Of course this can happen to people of different ages and gender, just because we have waited too long; but often it is health-related and out of the person's control.

Based on your posts here I wouldn't have guessed countering rudeness with more rudeness would be your response, missy, but particularly now I am aware sometimes we all react without thinking. These uncertain times are really taking a toll on us all.

She was not in urgent need of a restroom. I could just tell. She was just plain rude. And I responded in a manner I felt appropriate because if we allow uncivil behavior to continue unchecked we get what we deserve. Each situation is different and needs to be evaluated on their own merits IMO. I am at peace with how I responded.

If she had been in urgent need of course that would be an entirely different situation. One would hope under those circumstances she could have said oh excuse me please I am in urgent need.
 

missy

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We don't have any public restrooms open yet. I can't go out without one available. I can't excuse this lady, but I have a weak bladder and sometimes have to hurry. Was she not even wearing a mask? I have to wear a mask to go anywhere. I'm not even sure if our malls locally are open.

Yup, she wasn't even wearing a mask. Rude and dare I say ignorant. A dangerous combo. IMO.
And before someone says perhaps she couldn't wear a mask for a medical reason I would counter with perhaps then she shouldn't be on the beach and using public restrooms and being on a very crowded not social distancing beach. Just saying.
 

missy

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The older I get, and now with COVID, the more I wish I lived in a society like Singapore. I’m so tired of American (selfish) individualism.

My husband wants to take a one-day road trip. We’ll bring our own food and drinks. I’m thinking about wearing Depends. :lol:

Ditto. The selfishness all around is just astounding.
Haha and ditto on the Depends. I thought about it.:razz:
 

missy

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It’s not just a NY subway phenomenon @missy, the London Underground is pretty bad for people trying to rush on before letting others off.

Honestly, I think some people are totally clueless about the current situation, or they just don’t care. We went to the supermarket the other day, and a woman was blocking the aisle because she was busy gabbing on her phone :x2

My bugbear about door etiquette is holding it open for someone who just walks through and doesn’t bother to thank you. I always shout after them “You’re welcome”.

Me too! I often hold the door open for others I don't know and it is nice when they say thank you. And when they don't it is just rude. I agree. I sometimes say you're welcome too if they don't say thank you. It doesn't stop me from holding the door open though just because I like to treat people the way I want to be treated and IMO it is the nice and polite thing to do. Despite some rude apples that spoil the bunch if you kwim. But at least we don't let it change who we are and how we behave.
 

missy

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Agreed, there are always at least a few rude / clueless people around. And during COVID, I know my own tolerance for it is down. We're all more stressed and impatient...

I had a similar door incident at a store, although the other person didn't push past... I was exiting the door onto the street (only room for one person) and another person was walking right up as if she'd just squeeze right by me. I instinctively stopped and put my hand up and said "step back please"... and to her credit, she backed right up. We were both polite about it.

I also get super annoyed when I'm out walking... people hang around on the sidewalks, chatting at a social distance. Great, nice, enjoy yourselves... but that forces all the walkers to pass around the chatters by walking on the road with the cars. If you're going to be stationary, please move somewhere else, like a driveway or yard. Please and thank you. lol

Anne

Agree entirely. This woman was beyond that and the reason I felt it necessary to let her know how rude she was and how that isn't OK. During this pandemic something like that takes on a much larger meaning and could be very risky. She was practically touching me. Not OK.

Most of the time a simple please step back will and does suffice. This time however it did not.
 

missy

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I was taught in a multi-stall bathroom people coming in have the right away for that reason if possible.

I was taught the one leaving always has the right of way. Full stop. Of course I was already exiting so clearly there was no ambiguity about who had the right of way.
 

missy

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I live in an apartment building with elevators and people are constantly trying to get on them with neighbors. WTF? I’ve started loudly stating “I‘M SICK” as the door opens on other floors. Most people back up when they hear this (though not all, if you can believe it). There are two elevators side-by-side per building wing and you almost never have to wait more than 30 seconds for one. Yet 30 seconds is too much for some people. SMH.

When we were in NYC in March, April and May during the pandemic I would just politely say to anyone who wanted to get onto the elevator with me to please wait for the next one. And they always kindly obliged.
 

missy

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I get that all the time, young as well as old people.

I am aware of my own space around me, yet some people have no respect for social distancing.

I step aside when I feel someone is too close for comfort, and would ask politely and assertively when I have to go past people if I feel they are not going to get out of my path.

Hey ho!

DK :))

Boggles the mind really. Some people have no sense and no courtesy. And it isn't OK. Sometimes polite asking isn't enough. Do I prefer to be polite and kind? Yes. But sometimes only a forceful comment will make the important point and also keep us safe. We gotta do what we gotta do.
 

Lisa Loves Shiny

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I have a younger brother who has been rude and grumpy since he was 8 years old. I have told him over the years "When you get old people will accuse you of being a grumpy old man but they won't know you've always been this way."
 

Daisys and Diamonds

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When I used to take the subway this happened often. People would try to come onto the train before letting others out. Is this just a NYC phenomenon? Or do others experience this as well?

OMG i hate that !
I commuted for 7 years aganist the flow
I usually had an entire carrage to my self sometimes the entire train by the end of my journey
But when i went to get off at my end/their start of the line i would get crushed trying to get off
they were long workers trains going into Wellington but at that first stop or two there was tonns of room
No need to push and shove, the train wasn't going to leave till everyone got on
 

Daisys and Diamonds

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I need to borrow @missy to go shopping
Even the one time (and aganist my wishes) Gary went grocery shopping during lockdown he was choosing his canned tuna flavours and this old man - in an isle of no other people- was ferreting around on the lower isles right inside Gary's personal space

the tuna got left on the shelf
 

Daisys and Diamonds

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Can i just say Americans in my own personal experience have beautiful manners
 

House Cat

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My husband and I had to go to the lab for bloodwork. The rules were that everyone get prescreened and they have to wear a mask. These safety precautions were the only reason we went in the first place.

In the wating room was a woman who refused to wear her mask. I got into it with her about it, she still refused. I left the room and she followed me out and intentionally coughed on me.
I didn’t know you could call the police on someone who intentionally coughs on you during this time but I’ve seen news stories about it since.

I confronted her because my husband is vulnerable. I’m really protective of my loved ones. I have to admit that I wish I would have just left the room in the first place, but I have to forgive myself...I was afraid. I never thought someone would cough on me.
 
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