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Please Help, I bought my wife a new engagement ring, but …

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
Thanks for reading my story…. Late last year I bought a replacement engagement ring for my beautiful wife, as very sadly the original one had been lost. After a lot of research, I settled on a lovely ring and setting from Whiteflash. I live in the UK so I was a little concerned about buying from abroad but I was reassured by their website and sales staff, so went ahead an made the purchase.

Unfortunately, I had problems from the outset with the setting. Originally, I asked for the setting to be semi-customised to compliment her wedding ring.

However, it arrived much narrower that we had been expecting. Whiteflash to their credit were very good about this, and we decided to return it and go for the stock setting. This was in part as it was my intention to buy a diamond band and I felt these would go well together.

When it arrived it was indeed thicker, but nowhere near what the description on the website was suggesting.

I again reached out a couple of times to both my consultant and the after sales team, but did not make any definitive progress.

As our stone was quite modest (and as I was wondering if I might get a better service if I had bought a larger stone) I decided to upgrade to a new stone but with the same stock setting previous requested, which with hindsight may not have been the right decision.

When this one arrived, it was again narrower than advertised and a circle imprint now existed on the basket.

At this point I lost a little faith and energy for the ring and the purchase. My wife was going through a period of ill health (she is doing well now thankfully), and stupidly I thought the issues might subside in our minds and the ring would become something she would treasure and wear.

Sadly, that didn’t happen, and she finally confessed about how upsetting she found it all. What had started as a loving thing had become a bit of a sore point for both of us.

I really need some advice on what to do next… I know I am outside of the returns period. I choose Whiteflash as their service, feedback and products were all excellent. Indeed, the service I had early on was great too, it just didn’t stay that way.

I very much feel in limbo with things now, I have a ring that isn’t being worn and a wife desperately unhappy with how this has unfolded. I have to say that I feel the same way too, arguably more so as it is my fault.

I really want to look into upgrading the diamond, and would love to get the simple clean stock setting to place it in, so that we can feel like with we have a brand-new beautiful ring. But I have lost a bit of trust in the company, and am unsure on how best to reach out to them.

Has anyone out there had similar experiences they can share, or is there anyone who knows how best to take this forward? Any suggestions would be very gratefully received.

I would dearly love to have some good news to tell her for Christmas, or the New Year.

Thank you, Chris.
 

AprilBaby

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
10,309
What exactly does she not like about it? The width?
 

Texas Leaguer

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jul 27, 2009
Messages
3,098
Hi Chris,
I am sorry that your wife is not happy with the ring. I believe you and I had some communications during the period we were trying to understand the issue with the dimensions.

Please feel free to email me directly and let me know how you think we can resolve this for you. I will do my best to make it happen.
 

diamondsR4eVR

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
162
I’ve purchased from Whiteflash before but was very happy with my purchase. I do believe these sort of things have a way of working themselves out even if we have to keep pushing for a resolution. GL!
 

chamois

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
381
Thanks for reading my story…. Late last year I bought a replacement engagement ring for my beautiful wife, as very sadly the original one had been lost. After a lot of research, I settled on a lovely ring and setting from Whiteflash. I live in the UK so I was a little concerned about buying from abroad but I was reassured by their website and sales staff, so went ahead an made the purchase.

Unfortunately, I had problems from the outset with the setting. Originally, I asked for the setting to be semi-customised to compliment her wedding ring.

However, it arrived much narrower that we had been expecting. Whiteflash to their credit were very good about this, and we decided to return it and go for the stock setting. This was in part as it was my intention to buy a diamond band and I felt these would go well together.

When it arrived it was indeed thicker, but nowhere near what the description on the website was suggesting.

I again reached out a couple of times to both my consultant and the after sales team, but did not make any definitive progress.

As our stone was quite modest (and as I was wondering if I might get a better service if I had bought a larger stone) I decided to upgrade to a new stone but with the same stock setting previous requested, which with hindsight may not have been the right decision.

When this one arrived, it was again narrower than advertised and a circle imprint now existed on the basket.

At this point I lost a little faith and energy for the ring and the purchase. My wife was going through a period of ill health (she is doing well now thankfully), and stupidly I thought the issues might subside in our minds and the ring would become something she would treasure and wear.

Sadly, that didn’t happen, and she finally confessed about how upsetting she found it all. What had started as a loving thing had become a bit of a sore point for both of us.

I really need some advice on what to do next… I know I am outside of the returns period. I choose Whiteflash as their service, feedback and products were all excellent. Indeed, the service I had early on was great too, it just didn’t stay that way.

I very much feel in limbo with things now, I have a ring that isn’t being worn and a wife desperately unhappy with how this has unfolded. I have to say that I feel the same way too, arguably more so as it is my fault.

I really want to look into upgrading the diamond, and would love to get the simple clean stock setting to place it in, so that we can feel like with we have a brand-new beautiful ring. But I have lost a bit of trust in the company, and am unsure on how best to reach out to them.

Has anyone out there had similar experiences they can share, or is there anyone who knows how best to take this forward? Any suggestions would be very gratefully received.

I would dearly love to have some good news to tell her for Christmas, or the New Year.

Thank you, Chris.

It is difficult when you have lost some trust in a company (I feel for you). My suggestion would be to contact Whiteflash and see what your options are and go from there. It will cost you more for the upgrade diamond (that is to be expected).

Hopefully, Whiteflash will work with you to make you and your wife happy. That is the best outcome for repeat customers.

I wish you luck. Please keep us posted.
 

chamois

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
381
Hi Chris,
I am sorry that your wife is not happy with the ring. I believe you and I had some communications during the period we were trying to understand the issue with the dimensions.

Please feel free to email me directly and let me know how you think we can resolve this for you. I will do my best to make it happen.
Thank you Bryan.
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
5,372
It's hard to know what to advise you to do as I don't properly understand your problem. The width of the ring ordered and the one received do not match? Have you been measuring with reliable calipers? Have you been googling images of the kind of setting you want at the width described on hand, or trying on ones of similar width? Are you measuring from the same spot Whiteflash measures from (the midpoint of the side of the ring) or from the top near the diamond (many rings taper or widen near the diamond)? Is the band curved or knife-edge and you are used to a flat band, and so it appears thinner even if it's the same width? I don't ask these questions to be accusing - I just want to understand. I've never had an item come any width other than that which it was advertised as, so certainly if that happened it's a serious issue.

Pictures would definitely help us understand.

My experience as someone who likes heftier settings is that you have to really, really push and see the cads and push some more for the ring to be thicker. The trend right now is for skinny little rings that are barely anything at all, and sometimes people doubt (especially I bet if you're a man buying for a woman) that's what you really want.

It may be best to return the setting if you can, or chalk it up as a loss if you can't, and buy a setting for your Whiteflash diamond in the UK, where your wife can see and try it on before choosing it.
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
Do you have pictures and a link to the setting you are talking about?
Hi. Thanks for replying. Yes pictures here of the circle and the callipers on the side of the ring. Any thoughts welcome! Chris. B1E388AD-DD21-4402-AB9C-12C555A22622.jpeg 5BFC4E9C-B602-4208-8A50-E7AD723D3C31.jpeg B1E388AD-DD21-4402-AB9C-12C555A22622.jpeg 5BFC4E9C-B602-4208-8A50-E7AD723D3C31.jpeg
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
It is difficult when you have lost some trust in a company (I feel for you). My suggestion would be to contact Whiteflash and see what your options are and go from there. It will cost you more for the upgrade diamond (that is to be expected).

Hopefully, Whiteflash will work with you to make you and your wife happy. That is the best outcome for repeat customers.

I wish you luck. Please keep us posted.
Hi chamois. Thank you it’s good to know I have support out there! I’ll be sure to keep you up to date with progress. Chris.
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
It's hard to know what to advise you to do as I don't properly understand your problem. The width of the ring ordered and the one received do not match? Have you been measuring with reliable calipers? Have you been googling images of the kind of setting you want at the width described on hand, or trying on ones of similar width? Are you measuring from the same spot Whiteflash measures from (the midpoint of the side of the ring) or from the top near the diamond (many rings taper or widen near the diamond)? Is the band curved or knife-edge and you are used to a flat band, and so it appears thinner even if it's the same width? I don't ask these questions to be accusing - I just want to understand. I've never had an item come any width other than that which it was advertised as, so certainly if that happened it's a serious issue.

Pictures would definitely help us understand.

My experience as someone who likes heftier settings is that you have to really, really push and see the cads and push some more for the ring to be thicker. The trend right now is for skinny little rings that are barely anything at all, and sometimes people doubt (especially I bet if you're a man buying for a woman) that's what you really want.

It may be best to return the setting if you can, or chalk it up as a loss if you can't, and buy a setting for your Whiteflash diamond in the UK, where your wife can see and try it on before choosing it.
Hi and thanks for the time on your reply. I would never have taken those as accusations so don’t worry. I’ll reply fully tomorrow (it’s late here now!). I’m hopeful I can resolve given Brian’s reply above. Thanks again. Chris.
 

diamondsR4eVR

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
162
Hmmm...those styles are usually well advertised on size since they are so popular. She wanted a thicker band I assume? Is it possible they sent out the wrong ring?
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
Hi Chris,
I am sorry that your wife is not happy with the ring. I believe you and I had some communications during the period we were trying to understand the issue with the dimensions.

Please feel free to email me directly and let me know how you think we can resolve this for you. I will do my best to make it happen.
Hi Texas Leaguer. Many many thanks for taking time out to reply to this. It’s very late over here, so if it’s ok I’ll email you tomorrow to see if we can find a happy solution to this. My fingers are firmly crossed. Thanks again. Chris.
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
Hmmm...those styles are usually well advertised on size since they are so popular. She wanted a thicker band I assume? Is it possible they sent out the wrong ring?
Maybe yes. It doesn’t feel like the right band or... it’s the right band but with the original semi customisations that we didn’t want in the end. That’s my uneducated guess!
 

Texas Leaguer

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jul 27, 2009
Messages
3,098
Hi Texas Leaguer. Many many thanks for taking time out to reply to this. It’s very late over here, so if it’s ok I’ll email you tomorrow to see if we can find a happy solution to this. My fingers are firmly crossed. Thanks again. Chris.
Sounds good Chris. I will be awaiting your email tomorrow.
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
5,372
The circle looks like something that could be polished out easily. Not sure what exactly is going on there but is your setting a stock setting with a peg head and that is where the head is soldered into the shank?

What width was the ring supposed to be - and what width was your original semi-custom version supposed to be? Can you link us to the ring on the site?
 

sledge

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 23, 2018
Messages
4,119
Can you post a link of the link of the original setting you desired?

I did a custom e-ring for my wife, and it has an array of thicknesses with some dropping below 2mm and some that are thicker.

I will say this....it's amazing to see the difference between an online photo and jewelry in real life. It's my opinion and experience that online photos tend to make small things look bigger than they really are because of the magnification/zoom factors.

Before finalizing her e-ring, many of the rings I saw online and thought would be perfect for her was not pleasing during a real life viewing because of this very effect.

I hope this isn't what you are experiencing, as I fear that may be a very difficult thing to overcome. I would strongly recommend you visit a local jeweler and have her try on some rings. Even if the overall design isn't what she loves, you could take your calipers with you and take photos of the various elements you and she likes. You might be surprised with what you learn.

It may sound silly, but I've custom built a few different homes. The first home I designed, I walked countless homes. If I found an element I liked, I did as suggested. I took a picture, whipped out my tape measure and did a sketch with dimensions and highlighted elements I liked.

Anyhow, maybe this will help you too. I certainly hope so. I have lots of faith in @Texas Leaguer and the rest of the WF team. I've seen them bend over backwards to help numerous customers on here. Try to keep the faith, and I think you will find a happy resolve.

Cheers mate! :cool2:
 

kgizo

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 14, 2009
Messages
1,484
I think the issues are easily solvable, which makes me wonder if some of the unhappiness with the ring is tied to ill health she was going through. Sometimes the emotions and feelings we experience around the time of purchase can linger on. I would encourage you to talk to her about what she would like. Maybe she wants to upgrade the stone maybe not. Perhaps an afternoon of lunch and fun shopping with you to pick a new setting is what she wants. It’s clear you want to make this ring special and bring her happiness, and hearing about all the thought you are putting into this may be what she needs to move forward. Wishing her continued good health.
 

Marriedbuteloped

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 5, 2019
Messages
113
I am not a jewelry or WF expert. But I understand your concerns. A ring is important for many people. And your wife had some extra challenges, so instead of it being a source of joy or distractions it adds now to unhappiness. I can just see the marital discussion....

You could of course go back and forth with WF. But even though you might get the perfect ring, the negative feelings about the process might linger. I find what usually helps with these consumer oriented decisions is to put some distance in and just wait a while. A new start so to speak. As somebody suggested sit down with her and tell her you will fix it together later. Or if she is up for it visit some stores. Or go a completely different route. Turn the ring in a pendant or safe it for your cute daughter. As long as she knows she will get exactly what she wants, even if she herself is not sure yet or it will take a while.
And if you stay on this website you will see so many new ideas.

And please forgive me if I overstepped, I did not mean to give couples advise. I can just see both sides with a strong partiality towards your wife. ;-) You are a good husband and will figure it out. After all it is just a thing you can buy in a store. So many other things can't.
 

the_mother_thing

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 2, 2013
Messages
5,860
@zippy I, too, am having trouble understanding what exactly the issue is; perhaps it’s a simple matter of understanding the terminology and (subsequently) communicating your wishes and/or concerns. Can you be a little more specific about what exactly it is about the ‘circle’ under the diamond that you/she doesn’t like? Also, as noted earlier, if you can post a link to your setting (or the one you asked be customized), that might help us help you. I took a quick spin through WF’s settings, and didn’t see one that looked like yours from these angles, so not sure how ‘custom’ this project was ... perhaps there isn’t a link to an ‘existing’ ring to reference?

When you say “the circle” do you mean the ‘donut’ (see arrow 1), or the little ‘circle’ inside the donut (see arrow 2)? Which ever one it is, what exactly is it that you don’t like/asked be changed, and how did you want it changed? Did you not want a donut? Did you want the circle inside the donut fully filled in with metal, and don’t like that you can see a little ‘lip’ vs a perfectly ‘flat’/solid surface?
5E8C7088-6FF7-45AD-86A0-A9F98E934763.jpeg

As for WF, I can speak from personal experience that they will go well above & beyond to ensure their customers are happy with their purchase and address/resolve any issues; sometimes, it just comes down to communication and clearly understanding what exactly those issues are. We (on PS) are happy to help you articulate them with more information; and @Texas Leaguer is absolutely wonderful and dedicated to ensure customer satisfaction. While I can appreciate the suggestion someone above made about ‘starting over’ elsewhere, I’d argue that I can’t think of anywhere else you’d get the direct interaction, communication and involvement of someone like Bryan to personally help & oversee your project and ensure you are ultimately happy. ‘Custom’ jewelry projects can be a challenge, moreso for ‘first-timers’; so don’t give up just yet. :wavey:
 

Slick1

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 3, 2013
Messages
1,582
Sometimes the emotions and feelings we experience around the time of purchase can linger on.
This ^ The quote above resonated strongly with me because the ring that I was wearing during a very challenging health issue brought me nothing but memories of the awful time. I actually parted ways with that piece.
My son and I have worked with WF and I have no doubt you’ll get the rings your wife will love if you give them the opportunity.
Thankfully, your wife is better now and I send you much good luck sorting this out!!
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
The circle looks like something that could be polished out easily. Not sure what exactly is going on there but is your setting a stock setting with a peg head and that is where the head is soldered into the shank?

What width was the ring supposed to be - and what width was your original semi-custom version supposed to be? Can you link us to the ring on the site?
Yeah I had wondered that, but I shouldn't have to be polishing things out, should I?! The website says 2.5mm, which is what we had hoped for... Chris.
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
Can you post a link of the link of the original setting you desired?

I did a custom e-ring for my wife, and it has an array of thicknesses with some dropping below 2mm and some that are thicker.

I will say this....it's amazing to see the difference between an online photo and jewelry in real life. It's my opinion and experience that online photos tend to make small things look bigger than they really are because of the magnification/zoom factors.

Before finalizing her e-ring, many of the rings I saw online and thought would be perfect for her was not pleasing during a real life viewing because of this very effect.

I hope this isn't what you are experiencing, as I fear that may be a very difficult thing to overcome. I would strongly recommend you visit a local jeweler and have her try on some rings. Even if the overall design isn't what she loves, you could take your calipers with you and take photos of the various elements you and she likes. You might be surprised with what you learn.

It may sound silly, but I've custom built a few different homes. The first home I designed, I walked countless homes. If I found an element I liked, I did as suggested. I took a picture, whipped out my tape measure and did a sketch with dimensions and highlighted elements I liked.

Anyhow, maybe this will help you too. I certainly hope so. I have lots of faith in @Texas Leaguer and the rest of the WF team. I've seen them bend over backwards to help numerous customers on here. Try to keep the faith, and I think you will find a happy resolve.

Cheers mate! :cool2:
Thanks for your reply, as you say the online bit does add in a certain level of complication!

A lot of people here have given me faith in WF and Texas Ranger, so hopefully they will help me solve this! Il keep you guys posted. Chris.
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
I think the issues are easily solvable, which makes me wonder if some of the unhappiness with the ring is tied to ill health she was going through. Sometimes the emotions and feelings we experience around the time of purchase can linger on. I would encourage you to talk to her about what she would like. Maybe she wants to upgrade the stone maybe not. Perhaps an afternoon of lunch and fun shopping with you to pick a new setting is what she wants. It’s clear you want to make this ring special and bring her happiness, and hearing about all the thought you are putting into this may be what she needs to move forward. Wishing her continued good health.
I do hope so, and yes you might be right about the health side. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we can sort this and move onwards and upwards! Chris.
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
Did she love the diamond? I don’t really understand what the problems are, but I know WF will fix them.

Really cute baby.
She did, but we will upgrade now to ensure it feels like brand new! I do hope so, promising start to be fair. Aw thank you, she is cute, and she knows it! Chris.
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
I am not a jewelry or WF expert. But I understand your concerns. A ring is important for many people. And your wife had some extra challenges, so instead of it being a source of joy or distractions it adds now to unhappiness. I can just see the marital discussion....

You could of course go back and forth with WF. But even though you might get the perfect ring, the negative feelings about the process might linger. I find what usually helps with these consumer oriented decisions is to put some distance in and just wait a while. A new start so to speak. As somebody suggested sit down with her and tell her you will fix it together later. Or if she is up for it visit some stores. Or go a completely different route. Turn the ring in a pendant or safe it for your cute daughter. As long as she knows she will get exactly what she wants, even if she herself is not sure yet or it will take a while.
And if you stay on this website you will see so many new ideas.

And please forgive me if I overstepped, I did not mean to give couples advise. I can just see both sides with a strong partiality towards your wife. ;-) You are a good husband and will figure it out. After all it is just a thing you can buy in a store. So many other things can't.
No overstep there so don't worry, it's been a fun experience posting on her and getting all sorts of good advice and support. I am keeping faith in WF for now, they have made a good start helping us these last day or two so lets see! Thanks again Chris...
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
@zippy I, too, am having trouble understanding what exactly the issue is; perhaps it’s a simple matter of understanding the terminology and (subsequently) communicating your wishes and/or concerns. Can you be a little more specific about what exactly it is about the ‘circle’ under the diamond that you/she doesn’t like? Also, as noted earlier, if you can post a link to your setting (or the one you asked be customized), that might help us help you. I took a quick spin through WF’s settings, and didn’t see one that looked like yours from these angles, so not sure how ‘custom’ this project was ... perhaps there isn’t a link to an ‘existing’ ring to reference?

When you say “the circle” do you mean the ‘donut’ (see arrow 1), or the little ‘circle’ inside the donut (see arrow 2)? Which ever one it is, what exactly is it that you don’t like/asked be changed, and how did you want it changed? Did you not want a donut? Did you want the circle inside the donut fully filled in with metal, and don’t like that you can see a little ‘lip’ vs a perfectly ‘flat’/solid surface?
5E8C7088-6FF7-45AD-86A0-A9F98E934763.jpeg

As for WF, I can speak from personal experience that they will go well above & beyond to ensure their customers are happy with their purchase and address/resolve any issues; sometimes, it just comes down to communication and clearly understanding what exactly those issues are. We (on PS) are happy to help you articulate them with more information; and @Texas Leaguer is absolutely wonderful and dedicated to ensure customer satisfaction. While I can appreciate the suggestion someone above made about ‘starting over’ elsewhere, I’d argue that I can’t think of anywhere else you’d get the direct interaction, communication and involvement of someone like Bryan to personally help & oversee your project and ensure you are ultimately happy. ‘Custom’ jewelry projects can be a challenge, moreso for ‘first-timers’; so don’t give up just yet. :wavey:
Hi - thank you for your reply, yes its issue 2 on your picture, just looks like it shouldn't be there! As I have now said to others WF are now helping us so lets see how that plays. I agree with your last point around service and Bryan, so my fingers are firmly crossed! Cheers. Chris.
 

zippy

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
15
This ^ The quote above resonated strongly with me because the ring that I was wearing during a very challenging health issue brought me nothing but memories of the awful time. I actually parted ways with that piece.
My son and I have worked with WF and I have no doubt you’ll get the rings your wife will love if you give them the opportunity.
Thankfully, your wife is better now and I send you much good luck sorting this out!!
Yeah me too, amazing what these forums can do for you hey! I will see how WF and I can sort these, and I really hope we get to something we (and more importantly my wife!) loves. Thanks for this, Chris.
 
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