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Please advise on a stray cat, so conflicted

Daisys and Diamonds

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
5,679
I don't think I could ever NOT keep a cat out who clearly showed bonding signals. My Mom has a cat who we call "half feral". He has indoor/outdoor access to her house and comes in to get affection only from her/to hide from bad weather/to eat. It's their happy medium to keep him safe while keeping him sane (he needs to go out).
last night Tibby came in from hanging out on the neighbour's lawn about 9pm
ate some (more) dinner and lay down on his cushion then came to bed when i went, ate 3 cat lollies (ok 7) then went to sleep purring
he got up at one stage to have a drink
but at 3am he was moewimg all over the house to be let back out
he get's a bit dramatic and throws himself aganist the front door ...so we let him out after a few minutes if he doesnt settle down/ use the dirt box

7am he's moewing under my window waking us up for breakfast

its very difficult with an adult cat to tell them im the mommy and im in charge when they (both Tibby and Borris) came to us as adult strays of their own accord
 

737lizakg

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
413
Just a quick message to say thank you to everyone for responding. I suspected this forum would encourage me to take him in. I am glad I asked as I really needed the choir to validate my position!

I have told my friends that I want to take him in and they are trying to get ahold of the neighbors who are on vacation to ask them if it is ok. If they object I will insist that they assume more responsibility for him, such as setting up their garage for him and taking him to the vet regularly. I kinda feel like it isn't even their decision anymore since they didn't take any steps to care for him up to now. But I don't want to be the reason my friends end up in a spat with the neighbors. And definitely don't want to cause unnecessary tensions between my friends and me. So, diplomacy it is.

My friends are good people, who did try to set up a winter house for the cat but due to their dog he never used it.

Again thank you all for contributing and sharing your success stories!
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
38,590
Just a quick message to say thank you to everyone for responding. I suspected this forum would encourage me to take him in. I am glad I asked as I really needed the choir to validate my position!

I have told my friends that I want to take him in and they are trying to get ahold of the neighbors who are on vacation to ask them if it is ok. If they object I will insist that they assume more responsibility for him, such as setting up their garage for him and taking him to the vet regularly. I kinda feel like it isn't even their decision anymore since they didn't take any steps to care for him up to now. But I don't want to be the reason my friends end up in a spat with the neighbors. And definitely don't want to cause unnecessary tensions between my friends and me. So, diplomacy it is.

My friends are good people, who did try to set up a winter house for the cat but due to their dog he never used it.

Again thank you all for contributing and sharing your success stories!
@737lizakg good luck. May I ask why you need the permission of the neighbors? Am I wrong in my understanding that no one has taken responsibility for this cat? That the neighbors feed him but that is where it ends. They do not shelter him nor do they take care of his health.

I get your wish for being polite and diplomatic but IMO their permission is a moot point. They do not "own" this cat nor even feel (IMO from what you wrote) much responsibility towards him. I hope you are able to see your way clear to rescue him and give him a happy life for whatever time he has left.

Thank you for being his angel and taking responsibility for his life. From the bottom of my heart thank you. If the world had more people like you it would be a kinder and better world.



ETA: to share a quick story.Tommy our cat was a mouser where I worked. Greg and I would visit him on the weekends. He was kept under the most dire conditions. Dark and dirty with little food. I would see him every day and feed him and on weekends when the building was closed we would visit him. I worked on getting the super to let me take him to the vet for vaccinations and neutering. It took some time but I was successful. My boss threatened my job if I did anything to take the cat without permission. I didn't care and was quite prepared to cat nap him and take him and give him a good home. It didn't come to that and fortunately the super let me take him and then keep him. There is more to the story but suffice to say we have now had Tommy for almost 11 years and he is a sweet boy. I shudder to think of what his future would have been without us stepping in and taking him. You can and will make a difference in this cat's life. There is no better gift you can give him than a good life filled with love and safe shelter. Thank you.


Here is a photo of Tommy right after we rescued him from the basement and took him home. Look at that face.
Look at his tongue. What a precious baby. He was about 2 when we adopted him and Greg and I were/are so grateful he didn't have to spend the rest of his life in a dark dirty basement with very little food and no companionship.
Screen Shot 2020-08-13 at 8.05.02 AM.png
 

Jimmianne

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 9, 2013
Messages
6,238
I am late to this thread because I was afraid it was going to be a sad story, but it’s not!
In my experience with a big crew of dogs and cats a bunny a parrot etc. eventually everyone comes to an understanding and there’s mutual respect. All the best to you and your new baby :)
 
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