Picking the Setting...Take 2

[foxinsox]

FYI I’m not convinced I will buy from here. Still thinking might have BGD or DK make one instead. Also the wedding band isn’t an exact match but was close and would be custom done (if buying from Jared’s) so it matches perfectly.

I would get David Klass to make this set for you with neat pave and delicate clean channels so it compliments your gorgeous BG stone and then I’d be done knowing I got a spectacular and different set for my fiancée.

 

[farrahlyn]

The Jared ring..... I definitely think if she was really excited about it, then RUN WITH IT. BUT i wouldn't buy from Jared, their quality is MEH. and i think some of the details of the ring could really be defined. I agree on the wedding band, it's not a perfect fit for the ring. DK could absolutely do a better, more refined version of this with a perfectly matching band.

Ok, so i found the link of the Jared one (ridiculous price for the quality btw)
http://www.jared.com/en/jaredstore/...4k-yellow-gold-992209700/101524/101524.101531

If you do go the DK route, please post CAD's here (start a new thread) and get some feedback. there are quite a few members here that have been through the process and are awesome at reading CADs and doing fine tuning on them.

One more comment... @sledge you've been so awesome with this process! Great job sticking this out in order to get it just right!

 

[mrs-b]

Personally, I would get her the biggest, best, diamond my money could afford. Why? Because some people like halos. Some like swirl settings. Some like plain solitaires, while some like 3 stone rings. Some like engraving. Some like diamonds down the shank. Some like tilt angles - and some don't care about that level of detail.

But virtually EVERYONE likes a big, bright, twinkly diamond that produces flashes of light and color. So I say go with what you're sure about. Get the best diamond you can afford and put it in a plain, well made, platinum solitaire setting. When you get married, pair it with a diamond band. I'm guessing she'll love it. In fact, I don't know ANY woman - regardless of taste - who wouldn't like a solitaire holding a beautiful diamond, paired with a high quality diamond band.

Of all your suggestions, I think you're on the most solid ground with that idea.

Good luck!

 

[blueMA]

I personally can't stand the Tinnivi setting she likes to begin with, so I probably won't be of much help guessing her unique varying preference, but among the choices I've seen, I like the Leigh design the best of the ones she likes thus far, and I think it's more timeless beautiful setting. I've been known to have pretty good taste in general, and that's what I'd choose to be safer in the middle of the road between you and her taste.

However, please don't discount the possibility of giving her a surprise proposal with just the stone alone, and daringly state that you've done your best for the last several weeks searching but ultimately wants her to choose what she wants best. That way you don't waste money on an undesirable setting that could go towards her ideal setting cost. I really think this may be the best option after seeing your struggles.

You may even find those temp stone holder ring for the purpose so she could stare at the stone on her finger.
Quick search example, but I'm sure there are better ones out there
https://www.amazon.com/Spring-Holde...=1525719315&sr=8-1&keywords=stone+holder+ring

 

[BFftw]

i have a pal that's also going through this issue. It may be possible to find a local jeweler that will credit the purchase of the temporary setting towards one you guys pick together.

 

[sledge]

Dear PSers, and OP, I think we should let this lovely couple just go or on their own and figure it out. Dear @sledge I think you are a darling for trying everything and the kitchen sink and all the sweet and patient PSers who have suggested setting after setting with customization after customization. But honestly who would have thought she would like a swirly halo with the diamond set way high above the halo, when she had never wanted a halo at all. I would say to @sledge keep taking her to see settings IRL and if she sees one she likes, GET IT!!!! Unless very brave, I would not even suggest having any vendor make it because don’t you want to be DONE? Well, whichever way I wish you the very best. You’re a catch. I hope for your sake in future joint decision making, you just present her with a limited number of options unless she is willing to put in the leg work and do the research herself.

Thank you for the kind words, it is much appreciated. Also, I would like to re-thank all the wonderful guys & gals on here that have been posting in this and my other threads. I am super grateful and appreciate all the kindness and guidance you have and continue to provide. I don't even pretend to know anything about this stuff and I've learned a bunch because of you fine people. I'm still learning and liking what I am learning to be honest.

I certainly hope my comments, pics, etc. have not made any of you feel like the selections you shared with me were rejected or not good enough. I have tried to describe to the best of my abilities what I thought she wanted (at that time in space). I know it's been a moving target and I certainly hope no one got their feelings hurt over any of this.

I am worn out and maybe that is why I'm considering just buying this setting. Despite feeling tired, I am not designed to just be ordinary so I am looking at going with a custom ring by BGD or DK that is inspired by this piece but cleaned up properly. Plus I would agree w/ the sentiment that Jared's is more or less "mall jewelry" and not something I'm interested in spending a few thousand bucks on to be honest. But I also know it's the only damn setting I've seen her get excited about so unless I get other vibes I feel it needs to be the inspiration piece.

I agree with much of what LLjsmom said. After reading this thread, it sounds like there is a lot of ring shopping/thinking about fatigue. If you can take her to a couple more stores and she definitely has a preference, I would go with what she picks. It could be a fun road trip to go to a larger city to look at a couple jewelers. As you have found, seeing a ring on your finger is different than looking at a photo. Someone mentioned that they didn't like the channel setting, and while not everyone likes it, it does have some pluses. It is great for everyday wear. It holds up well and you will not have to worry about losing a stone. It is also a very classic style. These things go in and out of vogue but channel setting will always be around. If she loves it go with it. It doesn't sound like at this point she would be too concerned about prong size or any of the other crazy things we all obsess about here. She will love it because it came from you, and you bought a great stone so that is pretty much going to be the star anyway.

I asked her about ring fatigue the other night, and she said no. Then she got all concerned and asked why I would think that. I kind of giggled and said apparently I was over-thinking it, then I went to sleep.

1. She is trying to guide me with details without saying "I want this one". She says whatever I pick she will love and the thought is what matters to her. For this reason, I don't ever get THAT reaction when the girl finds THEIR ring.
2. She believes society is backwards. Too much focus on the e-ring and not enough on the wedding band. In her opinion the e-ring should be plain & then come to life with the wedding band added.
3. She tends to like twisted/curved rings the best and usually rounds but has seen a few with princess & marquis cuts she likes.
4. She doesn't like many of the modern rings where the wedding band looks like an "after thought".
5. She likes e-rings & wedding bands that are designed to be integral with one another.
6. Because of 7 & 8, I don't see her ever wearing the wedding band solo.
7. No halos -- she doesn't like them.
8. The other night, she spouted off just get plain matching wedding bands.

I copied and pasted a blip from one of your previous posts on the other setting thread here. When I read #1 and #2, it sounds like she has an idea in her mind of what she thinks she likes but actually......doesn't completely know what she likes (which is totally understandable). I mean she said the e-ring should be plain and then come to life with the wedding band, but the setting she really likes is anything but plain . To me main problem is that she is wanting you to pick something out for her and is telling you she'll love whatever you pick but she's being super picky and actually rejecting settings you would pick for her, LOL!!! Let me tell you....it's totally fine to be picky. In fact PS is a bunch of picky a$$ people. But you can't have it both ways, it is just setting you up for failure and disappointment for her. Would it be at all reasonable to have a convo with her and let her know you are a bit worried that even though she is saying she'll love whatever you pick for her, you have serious concerns over that notion? What about having her choose three settings (with the accompanying band because that sounds very important to her) and then you will surprise her and propose to her with your choice of one of the three options. That way she has approved of the ring and band and she still gets the romantic and sweet "I picked this one specifically with you in my heart" feeling that I think she is desiring and it will still be a surprise. When I read she said you're "making this too big of a deal" that kinda feels like she doesn't get how hard this is and I worry for you, lol.

Haha, trust me when she found that setting I very much felt like in the store. I'm pretty good at working under distress and think I handled it well, but pretty much most the list she previously gave me she threw out the window herself. I tried to gently and discreetly ask questions or make statements that pushed those items in the list back into her mind.

While I can't fully comprehend it myself, the explanation I was given is that all those things are trumped by her the way it makes her "feel".

There is always this.

https://awesomejelly.com/13-of-the-coolest-engagement-ring-tattoos/

Funny you linked that. I actually suggested this. Then she got all nerdy on me and starting quoting divorce statistics and how tattoos are pemanent....really?

I would get David Klass to make this set for you with neat pave and delicate clean channels so it compliments your gorgeous BG stone and then I’d be done knowing I got a spectacular and different set for my fiancée.

I definitely think having DK or BGD make the setting is the way to go. I want something higher quality and that will likely cost less. Plus I wouldn't mind to clean it up a bit so it's not as "chunky" or big.

The Jared ring..... I definitely think if she was really excited about it, then RUN WITH IT. BUT i wouldn't buy from Jared, their quality is MEH. and i think some of the details of the ring could really be defined. I agree on the wedding band, it's not a perfect fit for the ring. DK could absolutely do a better, more refined version of this with a perfectly matching band.

Ok, so i found the link of the Jared one (ridiculous price for the quality btw)
http://www.jared.com/en/jaredstore/...4k-yellow-gold-992209700/101524/101524.101531

If you do go the DK route, please post CAD's here (start a new thread) and get some feedback. there are quite a few members here that have been through the process and are awesome at reading CADs and doing fine tuning on them.

One more comment... @sledge you've been so awesome with this process! Great job sticking this out in order to get it just right!

Thank you @farrahlyn! I was trying to find the link online, as I figured there was one. The GM saved the ring to a wishlist in the store, but I can't get to the account and haven't had time to call about it. I do agree about the quality being meh, and being overpriced. Not that it helps much, but I think the WG ring I pictured was $2,199 on the sticker. We never talked numbers as I wasn't overly interested in buying from them but I suspect they will offer me X% off the sticker. I think that's the way that place works. So probably $1,500 or so is my guess. The band was stickered at $699. Still probably $2k for everything with their discounts.

I think I can do better and get higher quality with BGD or DK. And you know I will be back here with CAD's, etc when that time comes. This community friggin' rocks!

Lastly, thank you for the kind words. Not sure I've done anything special or unique but thank you anyhow. Makes a guy feel good.

FYI, running out of time, but will respond to some of the other comments later tonight or tomorrow.

 

[blueMA]

Thank you for the kind words, it is much appreciated. Also, I would like to re-thank all the wonderful guys & gals on here that have been posting in this and my other threads. I am super grateful and appreciate all the kindness and guidance you have and continue to provide. I don't even pretend to know anything about this stuff and I've learned a bunch because of you fine people. I'm still learning and liking what I am learning to be honest.

I certainly hope my comments, pics, etc. have not made any of you feel like the selections you shared with me were rejected or not good enough. I have tried to describe to the best of my abilities what I thought she wanted (at that time in space). I know it's been a moving target and I certainly hope no one got their feelings hurt over any of this.

I am worn out and maybe that is why I'm considering just buying this setting. Despite feeling tired, I am not designed to just be ordinary so I am looking at going with a custom ring by BGD or DK that is inspired by this piece but cleaned up properly. Plus I would agree w/ the sentiment that Jared's is more or less "mall jewelry" and not something I'm interested in spending a few thousand bucks on to be honest. But I also know it's the only damn setting I've seen her get excited about so unless I get other vibes I feel it needs to be the inspiration piece.




I asked her about ring fatigue the other night, and she said no. Then she got all concerned and asked why I would think that. I kind of giggled and said apparently I was over-thinking it, then I went to sleep.



Haha, trust me when she found that setting I very much felt like in the store. I'm pretty good at working under distress and think I handled it well, but pretty much most the list she previously gave me she threw out the window herself. I tried to gently and discreetly ask questions or make statements that pushed those items in the list back into her mind.

While I can't fully comprehend it myself, the explanation I was given is that all those things are trumped by her the way it makes her "feel".




Funny you linked that. I actually suggested this. Then she got all nerdy on me and starting quoting divorce statistics and how tattoos are pemanent....really?




I definitely think having DK or BGD make the setting is the way to go. I want something higher quality and that will likely cost less. Plus I wouldn't mind to clean it up a bit so it's not as "chunky" or big.



Thank you @farrahlyn! I was trying to find the link online, as I figured there was one. The GM saved the ring to a wishlist in the store, but I can't get to the account and haven't had time to call about it. I do agree about the quality being meh, and being overpriced. Not that it helps much, but I think the WG ring I pictured was $2,199 on the sticker. We never talked numbers as I wasn't overly interested in buying from them but I suspect they will offer me X% off the sticker. I think that's the way that place works. So probably $1,500 or so is my guess. The band was stickered at $699. Still probably $2k for everything with their discounts.

I think I can do better and get higher quality with BGD or DK. And you know I will be back here with CAD's, etc when that time comes. This community friggin' rocks!

Lastly, thank you for the kind words. Not sure I've done anything special or unique but thank you anyhow. Makes a guy feel good.

FYI, running out of time, but will respond to some of the other comments later tonight or tomorrow.

There is no doubt she is absolutely aware of what you're about to do, so either involve her now before you make a decision on the costly setting or have her choose her own which she'll herself be responsible for many years to come - I say this because she seems to have a very particular likes/dislikes, and with some people nothing is quite right unless they themselves make the decision.

 

[sledge]

Personally, I would get her the biggest, best, diamond my money could afford. Why? Because some people like halos. Some like swirl settings. Some like plain solitaires, while some like 3 stone rings. Some like engraving. Some like diamonds down the shank. Some like tilt angles - and some don't care about that level of detail.

But virtually EVERYONE likes a big, bright, twinkly diamond that produces flashes of light and color. So I say go with what you're sure about. Get the best diamond you can afford and put it in a plain, well made, platinum solitaire setting. When you get married, pair it with a diamond band. I'm guessing she'll love it. In fact, I don't know ANY woman - regardless of taste - who wouldn't like a solitaire holding a beautiful diamond, paired with a high quality diamond band.

Of all your suggestions, I think you're on the most solid ground with that idea.

Good luck!

Haha, this is pretty much the way I think too. But you forget I have a unicorn!

In all seriousness, when we first started talking she flat out told me she didn't care about the size of the diamond. And I can honestly say for the most part that has held true. The only inkling that size somewhat mattered to her was when trying on settings she thought around 1/2 carat looked proportionally well on her hand. She didn't pick based on weight, but rather the dimensional size/look of the diamond to her fingers. I had the guy grab close to a 1 carat and it took her a minute to warm up to it as she thought it looked too big at first.

While she isn't very well versed in diamonds, one thing I did notice was she tended to like many stones in the E-H color range, and that were better cut (although I didn't see any super ideals there).

For these reasons, I think the BGD stone I have picked will wow her in a good way.

https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/...0.867-h-vs2-round-diamond-ags-bl-104098623002

Indirectly, we've had conversations about plain solitaires and she really dislikes them. In fact she specifically called out how everyone goes all blah over traditional Tiffany settings and she didn't get it. This is probably the only reason I haven't already done what was suggested. And the fine folks at BGD made me an incredible offer to let me use a temp solitaire band to propose with and then would work with me to design what she wanted and I could just simply swap the solitaire for the final band once done.

I personally can't stand the Tinnivi setting she likes to begin with, so I probably won't be of much help guessing her unique varying preference, but among the choices I've seen, I like the Leigh design the best of the ones she likes thus far, and I think it's more timeless beautiful setting. I've been known to have pretty good taste in general, and that's what I'd choose to be safer in the middle of the road between you and her taste.

However, please don't discount the possibility of giving her a surprise proposal with just the stone alone, and daringly state that you've done your best for the last several weeks searching but ultimately wants her to choose what she wants best. That way you don't waste money on an undesirable setting that could go towards her ideal setting cost. I really think this may be the best option after seeing your struggles.

You may even find those temp stone holder ring for the purpose so she could stare at the stone on her finger.
Quick search example, but I'm sure there are better ones out there
https://www.amazon.com/Spring-Holde...=1525719315&sr=8-1&keywords=stone+holder+ring

Yeah, the Tinnivi setting wasn't my favorite either. I prefer classic styling myself. Thin eternity band, maybe with a halo and big flashy diamond. But that hasn't been her thing.

I thought the Leigh was a good compromise as well. I was surprised it made her list though to be honest, lol. However, since finding the latest creation at Jared's all her references tend to be towards that setting. Also, she started saying "my setting" instead of "that setting".

I am working on getting quotes for custom work now. Just on the fence if I want to propose with the solitaire and bring her into the build process, or go ahead and try to finish it by myself. Lesley @ BGD thinks she wants to be a part of the process, but needs "permission" to do so and suggested some ways to approach her about it.

i have a pal that's also going through this issue. It may be possible to find a local jeweler that will credit the purchase of the temporary setting towards one you guys pick together.

Essentially this is what BGD has offered to do. Great people!

There is no doubt she is absolutely aware of what you're about to do, so either involve her now before you make a decision on the costly setting or have her choose her own which she'll herself be responsible for many years to come - I say this because she seems to have a very particular likes/dislikes, and with some people nothing is quite right unless they themselves make the decision.

Yes, she's a smart girl. She knows she will eventually get some bling, she just hasn't pieced together all the details yet. Awhile back we did have a conversation about her being part of the ring design process but I got the impression she wasn't excited about that option. I think it's more because she can't properly verbalize what she wants to someone (including me) than anything else.

That said, we were talking about the Jared's ring last night and I pointed out the channel and pave and maybe making a few tweaks and she looked at me like I stabbed her in the heart, and said but you will change everything.

 

[blueMA]

I want to suggest you at least try taking the Jared's setting out of the store environment and see it under plain daylight or under florescent light with her - a store will usually allow this. I'm saying this from my own experience that diamond settings tend to look awesome under jeweler magic lighting but can look quite contrived and busy elsewhere under more normal day to day lighting.

I'm sure I could speak for many ladies here that we've all had that "ooooo shiny" reaction to many of our initial impulsive diamond purchases at local jewelers in our younger days, until we soon realized later that the piece doesn't look so spectacular after all.

It's awesome that BDG is offering a temp setting, and I'd personally go for it since they're a quality vendor that you'll have no trouble working with, and you can always help her design your dream setting together. I want to congratulate you that you already love the BGB diamond you've purchased, and that's usually the toughest part for many.

Just know when a girl says she really doesn't care about something, it may not be the whole truth...

 

[SimoneDi]

That said, we were talking about the Jared's ring last night and I pointed out the channel and pave and maybe making a few tweaks and she looked at me like I stabbed her in the heart, and said but you will change everything.

OP, I think that it may be best just to recreate that setting. I am sure that BGD will do a fine job, if you look at their archives, they have actually created similar settings in the past. They can still define the channel, make it a bit more delicate. I personally don’t love the channel/pavè combo of the shred ring, but hey your SO loved it, so it doesn’t really matter what we think. It is probably not wise to continue torturing yourself over a ring setting.

 

[oneam]

Get the Jared setting. She loves it. That's the one that is in her head now. You've shown her numerous similar settings in the vein that she seems to gravitate to that she inexplicably did not care for. Regardless of her casual attitude towards the ring, she's not necessarily easy to please. Plenty of people purchase from Jared and are happy. Not everyone needs a custom made exquisitely crafted work of art. Get the ring she loves and get insurance and everyone will be happy.

 

[sledge]

I want to suggest you at least try taking the Jared's setting out of the store environment and see it under plain daylight or under florescent light with her - a store will usually allow this. I'm saying this from my own experience that diamond settings tend to look awesome under jeweler magic lighting but can look quite contrived and busy elsewhere under more normal day to day lighting.

I'm sure I could speak for many ladies here that we've all had that "ooooo shiny" reaction to many of our initial impulsive diamond purchases at local jewelers in our younger days, until we soon realized later that the piece doesn't look so spectacular after all.

That's a pretty good idea @blueMA! I think we are heading back to our hometown this weekend so timing would lend itself to revisit the store and see if they will let us do something like this. Plus, I'd like her to reaffirm "that's the one" given the roller coaster ride thus far.

It's awesome that BDG is offering a temp setting, and I'd personally go for it since they're a quality vendor that you'll have no trouble working with, and you can always help her design your dream setting together.

I think it's a pretty awesome option as well. I have to take a minute and really give some praise to Lesley and the rest of the BGD team. They have been nothing short of awesome to work with and have treated me like I was a million dollar customer. I find this rare in today's environment so when I see it, I really appreciate it and try to share that positive experience with others.

I want to congratulate you that you already love the BGB diamond you've purchased, and that's usually the toughest part for many.

In regards to "my" specific diamond, I sure hope it will wow her. Obviously if I had more unlimited resources I might have made some different choices, but for the budget and other constraints, I feel this was a very good choice.

Just know when a girl says she really doesn't care about something, it may not be the whole truth...

Ugh, I have some life experience with that statement.

Hopefully when all this is said and done she will be genuinely be happy and super excited with her setting and diamond! With everyone's help and guidance I have faith it can happen anyhow.

 

[blueMA]

With a better workmanship, that Jared setting of your photos could end up being a beautiful design. I'm not sure if the web stock 992209700 is the same setting because the setting on your photos is more halo-ish with the diamonds facing up circulating on top and further down the side of the ring. It's probably a good idea to have her see the setting once more in different lighting (a store personnel will accompany you), so that she doesn't get disappointed with your better customized version under normal light.

I think it's awesome you're putting so much thought into making your girl happy. Most men would've never gone through this much trouble.

 

[farrahlyn]

That said, we were talking about the Jared's ring last night and I pointed out the channel and pave and maybe making a few tweaks and she looked at me like I stabbed her in the heart, and said but you will change everything.

this cracked me up @sledge i think the woman has spoken. She may not be able to concisely voice her thoughts on what she likes but boy does she have a stong opinion when she likes something! Is there any way you can get over there by yourself to take some photos of the setting? Maybe grab the item number just to be sure the link is correct?

i'm so excited about this! I think i feel so invested because i am MUCH like your GF in that i dislike a solitaire or any of the usual e-rings. i like being different and i like unusual. My DH upgraded my ring for our 15th anniversary and he too went above and beyond in making sure the ring i have is THE ONE i wanted! it's not HIS idea of the perfect ring, like you he is into a more classic look but i love so much that he went out of his comfort zone to make me happy.

 

[LLJsmom]

I know I said to leave it to you both but I just can’t keep quiet. My only bit of advice is please please please DO NOT LET JARED SET YOUR BGD if you get the Jared setting. I will stab myself in my left eye with a rusted spoon if you do. (My right one is my better one.). And if Jared won’t just sell you the setting then try DK for an inspired version.

 

[blueMA]

I know I said to leave it to you both but I just can’t keep quiet. My only bit of advice is please please please DO NOT LET JARED SET YOUR BGD if you get the Jared setting. I will stab myself in my left eye with a rusted spoon if you do. (My right one is my better one.). And if Jared won’t just sell you the setting then try DK for an inspired version.

TOO FUNNY

 

[sledge]

With a better workmanship, that Jared setting of your photos could end up being a beautiful design. I'm not sure if the web stock 992209700 is the same setting because the setting on your photos is more halo-ish with the diamonds facing up circulating on top and further down the side of the ring. It's probably a good idea to have her see the setting once more in different lighting (a store personnel will accompany you), so that she doesn't get disappointed with your better customized version under normal light.

Looking back over this tonight, and no it is NOT the exact ring that we saw in the store. If you look closely you can see several differences. I have to admit the one in the store was (IMO) better than the linked ring.

I finally got into the account they setup and saved the rings to. Below is a screen shot. You will see where the e-ring she picked was an "in-store" option only and not on the web. The wedding band is also available online.

Either way, we will be in town this weekend and I plan on stopping by again and looking at it in some other lighting. I think the GM will be okay with this.

I think it's awesome you're putting so much thought into making your girl happy. Most men would've never gone through this much trouble.

Thank you very much. It's been trying and frustrating, but she has been my true inspiration. Seeing her smile and light up will be worth all the hassle.

this cracked me up @sledge i think the woman has spoken. She may not be able to concisely voice her thoughts on what she likes but boy does she have a stong opinion when she likes something! Is there any way you can get over there by yourself to take some photos of the setting? Maybe grab the item number just to be sure the link is correct?

i'm so excited about this! I think i feel so invested because i am MUCH like your GF in that i dislike a solitaire or any of the usual e-rings. i like being different and i like unusual. My DH upgraded my ring for our 15th anniversary and he too went above and beyond in making sure the ring i have is THE ONE i wanted! it's not HIS idea of the perfect ring, like you he is into a more classic look but i love so much that he went out of his comfort zone to make me happy.

Thank you so much @farrahlyn. You have stuck with my threads the entire duration and much of this is because of your guidance. I'm glad it is a positive experience for you too and I can't wait to post up pics once it's all said & done.

LOL, and just FYI -- tonight while cooking together, we were talking about the Jared ring and she was going on and on about it. I mentioned it went from "a ring" to "her ring" and she kind of giggled and said yes. We had some more conversations about it, but as far as I am concerned this is what she wants.

I know I said to leave it to you both but I just can’t keep quiet. My only bit of advice is please please please DO NOT LET JARED SET YOUR BGD if you get the Jared setting. I will stab myself in my left eye with a rusted spoon if you do. (My right one is my better one.). And if Jared won’t just sell you the setting then try DK for an inspired version.

Does this mean your new nickname will be Rusty?

But rest easy, I have no intentions of buying from Jared's. I am just using them as the inspiration piece since that seems to be the "one". I want either DK or BGD to replicate the ring for me.

 

[rockysalamander]

Good update! When you go again, take loads of photos in focus from top, side and even underside. That will help getting a custom version easier.

 

[blueMA]

Good update! When you go again, take loads of photos in focus from top, side and even underside. That will help getting a custom version easier.

Ditto

 

[JDDN]

The good news is that you went from well, all over the place to one very specific ring! Your lady has indeed spoken and you know quite literally exactly what she wants which will make things much easier from here on out (phew!). Imagine her excitement and thrill when you propose with "her ring" as she has been calling it only with ideal cut melee and executed with total expertise and craft. Now you have the makings to blow her away with the ring of her choice! I'd say things are looking up !

 

[sledge]

A quick update. Both DK and BGD have gotten back with me and can custom make a setting.

DK gave me firm numbers to do the e-ring & wedding band in platinum or palladium. Oddly enough the palladium was slightly higher. His price includes setting the stone, sizing appropriately, insured shipping to the US, tax, etc.

BGD responded and included an alternate setting style that is similar but not "identical". I am contemplating running it by my girl, but I have some reservations just because it's been so crazy getting to this point. Anyhow, should that setting be acceptable, the price is within $100 or so of the price that DK quoted to replicate the Jared setting. While BGD has not yet given a firm price to replicate the piece, they have indicated due to the intricate design they anticipated it being considerably more.

With e-ring & wedding band, this is going to be about a $3k purchase. For comparison, the Jared pricing was similar but in WG instead of platinum, and I would definitely get dinged another 8% tax. On the plus side, I think Jared's normally offer X% of their sticker prices; however, I am not certain the exact percent as I never talked numbers (as I just wasn't interested in truly buying from them).

By the time you add and subtract for all the differences, I think the costs will be similar between DK and Jared's, and it seems obvious DK is the winner in that scenario.

I guess the bigger question would be -- what is your thoughts on WG? My girl has other WG jewelry that hasn't been an issue for her. My own experiences is my body chemicals wears the rhodium plating quickly so it's always a maintenance thing. With DK being across the coast, it's not exactly an easy thing to run down and have them redo from time to time. I am certain she wants a white metal. In my head platinum is the winner, but I'd love to hear more from the resident experts. At this point, my only consideration of WG is just to lower the cost.

Eye candy of the alternative setting BGD suggested:

 

[blueMA]

I don’t think your gal will go for the alternate setting- it has a more angular look than the swirly look she seems to favor.

Platinum develops a patina over time and some love it and some don’t, and the don’t camp think it also requires maintenance. It’s really a matter of taste.

 

[sledge]

I don’t think your gal will go for the alternate setting- it has a more angular look than the swirly look she seems to favor.

Platinum develops a patina over time and some love it and some don’t, and the don’t camp think it also requires maintenance. It’s really a matter of taste.

Thank you for the honest input about the setting. There are things I do like better about it, but overall I probably prefer the one she has chosen. Yet, if this journey has proved anything to me, it is that my opinion really matters not as it's HER ring.

Yes, I should have mentioned that about platinum. I guess this brings up a question -- for those with custom settings or settings bought online, where do you go for routine cleanings and maintenance (like polishing, re-plating, etc) and what are those costs?

In regards to the various white metals I listed, are there pros/cons for the style of the ring and the fact it has pave and channel set diamonds? I think I read that pave is best done in platinum, but I could be wrong.

 

[LLJsmom]

Platinum and to your kitchen sink. Warm water, Dawn dishwashing liquid and a soft toothbrush. Just keep it simple. A 10 minute soak and a couple second of brushing every day or two and you’re good to go.

 

[unsettled]

I personally have only ever had white gold. I have my rings re-rhodiumed about every 3-4 years. And I just use a local jeweler for that. I don't mind the warmer look WG gets when it starts to wear. I didn't want platinum because I didn't like the weight of it when we chose rings 15 years ago. It is honestly just a personal preference.

 

[blueMA]

I never had to maintain my platinum setting and it has developed a lovely frosty patina over time that I never mess with. With yellow gold, you'll need to worry about the plating eroding and the metal is less dense to trust keeping the diamonds in, especially in a studded set that she'll wear every single day.

 

[blueMA]

Platinum and to your kitchen sink. Warm water, Dawn dishwashing liquid and a soft toothbrush. Just keep it simple. A 10 minute soak and a couple second of brushing every day or two and you’re good to go.

I like the product called Connoisseurs Diamond Dazzle stick - you can find it on Amazon and I like to carry it around because I'm obsessive about keeping my stones clean and it comes with a little brush to get into little nooks and crannies. Plain Dawn works fine too. I also have distilled water at hand for a final rinse!

 

[farrahlyn]

i agree with @blueMA, i don't think that setting is similar enough. It doesn't have the channel set stones like she likes. As far as platinum or WG.... i'm like you and my body chemistry takes off that rhodium plating pretty quickly. I've had this set for 3 years and i needed to replate them at 2years. i'm putting it off because i don't want to be without my rings while it's being done. If i could do it over again, i'd do platinum, unplated WG or just YG (i'm a big fan of YG tho). As far as replating, any jeweler can do the plating at a fairly nominal price.