Once upon a time...

[missy]

How did you envision your life would be?
And how is it different today than what you thought all those decades ago?

 

[missy]

I'll start.

My life turned out better than I could have ever envisioned.

I thought I didn't want to get married.
It took five years of dating Greg to be convinced and even then I was scared to get married.
Turns out it was the best move I have ever made. Ever. Marrying Greg. With each year I love him more and I am not even sure how that is possible.

Some things happened as I envisioned. I knew I never wanted children. And so we agreed no kids.
No regrets there.

Also we have our dream apartment in NYC which was something I knew I wanted.
And a beach house at the shore which was not something I knew I wanted til I got older and realized yes I do want a house by the sea. I love the sea. The sounds, the smells, I love it all.

I also knew I wanted a fulfilling career and I had that. And more.

Is there anything I would have changed?
Without consequences?

Yes, I would have not gone bike riding that day in June 2014 when we had the accident and I experienced a Pilon fracture. The worst fracture one can have according to the trauma surgeon and all the other experts. But again, if I didn't break my leg I might not have ever met all the wonderful friends I have met in the NIRDi thread. So every action has consequences and there is good with the bad.

Also I would have gone on HRT sooner but that is another topic. That I already have a thread on lol and I do hope that all the women reading this have read that other thread. Because that is the one thing I would have changed if I could. For sure. And I make sure to tell every woman I know so they don't make the same mistake I did.

Anyway, overall, my life turned out so much better than I could have ever hoped or even dreamed. Truly. No one's life is perfect including mine but what is perfect is my partner in crime and with him by my side we can make it through all the challenges of life.

How about you? How does your life today compare to what you thought it might look like when you were younger? And is there anything you would change if you could?

 

[dk168]

Career/professionally I deviated from what I had planned when I was in my early 30s, however, it still turned out nicely and I am still in demand in my late 50s.

I had not envisaged I would be on my own with just the pets for company, not due to lack of trying on my part since 2008 after my late partner's death except for 2 brief relationships that did not work out.

Nowadays, I am content with being on my own with the pets for company. It means I have the freedom to do what I want as and when it pleases me, without the need to consult another person first.

I shan't say never never. If a cupid's arrow hits me between the eyes, I shan't resist. However, I am not going to actively waste time and effort in looking for a special someone, when I could go out and about enjoying life on my own.

Since I thought I was not going to live beyond my 40s due to health concerns, I am grateful that I am now in my late 50s and still in relative good health.

Life is good and I am grateful for my lot.

DK

 

[ZestfullyBling]

Mine turned out better than imagined. I had such a tragically sad childhood filled with it's share of death, mental and emotional abuse. When I met Mike it's like the Sun started shining in my life, on me. He was so refreshing. Like a breath of fresh air. Then we grew together and the financial stuff just fell into place.

 

[kenny]

Better.

 

[stracci2000]

This is a hard one to answer. Maybe better?
I had career goals that evaporated when I got married and had babies.
Then I found married life to be suffocating.
So looking back, I should not have gotten married.
Now all these years later, I am free to be me, but my current job is not what I wanted for myself. Financially, things could always be better, but what we have is sufficient.
But all in all, I am in a better place than a lot of other people.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I thought i could have had a career
Or made some kind of difference
Or done something really worry while

Instead when the time comes and i meet my maker and he says
"Nicky? What did you do with the time that i gave you?"
I will say
i don't know

At least i walk most places so that has to count for something?

 

[Starstruck8]

I thought i could have had a career
Or made some kind of difference
Or done something really worry while

Instead when the time comes and i meet my maker and he says
"Nicky? What did you do with the time that i gave you?"
I will say
i don't know

At least i walk most places so that has to count for something?

If there were a prize for the most sympathetic, understanding and encouraging PSer, you would win it. You appreciate beautiful things. “… it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field and don’t notice it.” That has to count for something.

From Milton’s famous Sonnet 19 (my italics):

“Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”
I fondly ask. But patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, “God doth not need
Either man’s work or his own gifts; who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
And post o’er Land and Ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait.”

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

If there were a prize for the most sympathetic, understanding and encouraging PSer, you would win it. You appreciate beautiful things. “… it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field and don’t notice it.” That has to count for something.

From Milton’s famous Sonnet 19 (my italics):

“Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”
I fondly ask. But patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, “God doth not need
Either man’s work or his own gifts; who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
And post o’er Land and Ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait.”

Thank you @Starstruck8 .

Not sure about purple but i see beauty in the flowers of the weeds

My other half says what took you so long to walk home ?- i just always looking - this week its been the green acorns in the trees

 

[Calliecake]

@Daisys and Diamonds , I don’t think you know how much you brighten people‘s days here on this forum alone. I have no doubt you have touched many people’s lives in a positive way throughout your life Daisy. Isn’t one of the the most important things we can do in our lifetime is to help others? I think it is.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

@Daisys and Diamonds , I don’t think you know how much you brighten people‘s days here on this forum alone. I have no doubt you have touched many people’s lives in a positive way throughout your life Daisy. Isn’t one of the the most important things we can do in our lifetime is to help others? I think it is.

Thank you @Calliecake

 

[stracci2000]

@Daisys and Diamonds
You are one of the best contributors to PS that we've had, ever.
Your writing style is expressive and genuine.
Your outlook on things is refreshing and positive! I always enjoy reading your posts and you always make me smile!
So you can tell your maker that's you've made a lot of people happy, which is what we all need right now.

 

[missy]

I thought i could have had a career
Or made some kind of difference
Or done something really worry while

Instead when the time comes and i meet my maker and he says
"Nicky? What did you do with the time that i gave you?"
I will say
i don't know

At least i walk most places so that has to count for something?

Nicky, I wish more people were like you. If they were the world would be a better place. Period. (((Hugs)))

 

[MamaBee]

@Daisys and Diamonds You have the purest heart. You are such a smart, kind, caring person. I love reading your posts. I look forward to them.

 

[Calliecake]

@stracci2000 and @MamaBee, Thank you both for saying what I was trying to say to @Daisys and Diamonds so perfectly. I’m terrible with words. I’m so glad you wrote in this thread.

@Daisys and Diamonds
You are one of the best contributors to PS that we've had, ever.
Your writing style is expressive and genuine.
Your outlook on things is refreshing and positive! I always enjoy reading your posts and you always make me smile!
So you can tell your maker that's you've made a lot of people happy, which is what we all need right now.

@Daisys and Diamonds You have the purest heart. You are such a smart, kind, caring person. I love reading your posts. I look forward to them.

This +1,000. This is you @Daisys and Diamonds !

 

[junebug17]

@Daisys and Diamonds, I just want to add my support...you are a good, kind, and caring person and are a breath of fresh air here on PS. I love your warmth, honesty, and humor. You make me smile when I don't feel like smiling. I'm sure quite a few of us have some regrets about dreams we didn't pursue. In the end none of that matters. What matters is the love and kindness that you have shown others. That is what counts and will be remembered, not accomplishments or achievements.

 

[AprilBaby]

Different, not better or worse. My mom died when I was 5. i Was put into school 1 year early the same month so I entered 1st grade just after I turned 5. My dad remarried in less than a year and I had to move to another state away from everyone I knew. No child should have to go through this. 1961-1964. My dad hated where we moved so in 2 years we moved back. I decided in 5th grade my career and followed through. I knew I wanted to get married and have kids. Had 4. Would not have had any of that had mom lived. She hated dentists so that would never have happened. Never thought I would have a great house and live near Chicago. ( I’m from Philly) Never thought I could have so many diamonds. Never thought I would retire at 61. Never thought the country would be divided or we would have a pandemic. Never thought I would see the world! All because mom died.

 

[Tekate]

I thought i could have had a career
Or made some kind of difference
Or done something really worry while

Instead when the time comes and i meet my maker and he says
"Nicky? What did you do with the time that i gave you?"
I will say
i don't know

At least i walk most places so that has to count for something?

ya know - you made a difference in my life.. through you I understand Australians and New Zealanders in a different way, that not everyone is running around in bathing suits, people are real and care and you have strife like everyone.. so maybe to you that isn't a big deal but maybe the guyinthesky would think differently on that. just sayin..

 

[Tekate]

Basically I set a plan in motion when I was probably 4ish that I would move up in the world, I wouldn't be looked down upon as trash in my town anymore, or dumb etc. I put myself through college and married, (ugh what a mistake but I knew it doing it).. Met John and dated him and my life improved a zillion times more. I never once thought I wouldn't achieve what I wanted to, but sometimes I wish I went to medical school, but circumstances didn't come together (money). I said my life was what I expected but in a way it is even better than expected after meeting John. xoxo

 

[smitcompton]

Hi.
When I was young, about 11, I decided I would be a psychiatrist and go to Cornell Univ. My uncle promised me a new maroon car when I graduated. I liked listening to and fixing people's problems. I never had any other ambition. It sounded like a fun job to me. My fathers business had a setback and private college was no longer available to me. My dream slowly disappeared. I went to night college. Up to this point I was probably a happy person, although my mother was difficult, but if the rest of your life is good, her troubles were isolated from the rest of my life.

I got pregnant, at 18, and in those days (1950's) you got married. So, life now was composed of husband and children. I had 2 small children by the time I WAS 21 yrs old. Now my ambitions and energy were focused on family affairs. I had a house by the time I was 23 and settled into domestic bliss, for about 7yrs. After the loss of one little boy, we divorced, and I had to reinvent myself again.
I went back to school and got a degree and was accepted into 3 different law schools, which I considered a big achievement. I decided not to go to Law school, but still considered it an achievement. I was quite happy, met a guy I loved, and so stayed put and went to work in Manhatten.
My lovely guy wanted 6 children and so my love affair ended.
I was unhappy at this time and moved out to Il. to be near my brother. I ended up in the hotel/property management business which I loved. Lived in Europe for a while
I bought a house, actually several, and was happy until I got sick. I had to reinvent myself again, as I became crippled. I learned how to paint, buy jewelry, make money, and still feel that life is worthwhile.
It is perhaps a clique to say that life is a journey. It ebbs and flows. We must ride the waves for there is no other choice. This is my life. Whether it is good or bad is not the point. I think it is how we live it. I see purple in the weeds.

Annette

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

ya know - you made a difference in my life.. through you I understand Australians and New Zealanders in a different way, that not everyone is running around in bathing suits, people are real and care and you have strife like everyone.. so maybe to you that isn't a big deal but maybe the guyinthesky would think differently on that. just sayin..

Oh Tekote
Thank you
The internet trully is a good place
i have learnt so much about the world from people from the internet
it brings us closer together
It makes the world a smaller mote friendly place (moderated safe spaces naturally)
It reminds us we all, as human beings have much more in common than we have differences, our dreams and aspirations are similar
I think it makes us care just a little bit more for the welfare of far off places if we know someone from there

Regarding bathing suits (we call them toggs i think Aussies call them bathers) we have a big beach here but its black sand - i grew up down south with beautiful sparkly and squeaky (due to silica) pristine white sand
Im not a fan of this burning hot black stuff
The river has a mud bottom and is tidal and has very few safe swimimg spots certainly not suitable for paddling so our rather smell town has two public swimming pools one for each side of the river - never been to either as i don't like the chlorine with my asthma
We call flip flops jandals

 

[dk168]

As the song My Way by Frank Sinatra goes...

Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention...

I would like to play that at my funeral when the time comes.

DK

 

[GoldenTouch]

I thought i could have had a career
Or made some kind of difference
Or done something really worry while

Instead when the time comes and i meet my maker and he says
"Nicky? What did you do with the time that i gave you?"
I will say
i don't know

At least i walk most places so that has to count for something?

This was on paperwork that my dad brought home from a funeral last week.

The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
From the beginning...to the end

He noted that first came the date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars...the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering this special dash
Might only last a little while

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent YOUR dash?

I’m sure your dash will be outstanding Nicky!! xx

 

[GoldenTouch]

No…. I never thought I would’ve been a single mother…

However my child is everything to me!
I love my job (off sick today with a temperature & ear infection) & I have people who care about me so I am lucky even though it has been difficult & probably will be for a while yet.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

O

This was on paperwork that my dad brought home from a funeral last week.

The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
From the beginning...to the end

He noted that first came the date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars...the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering this special dash
Might only last a little while

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent YOUR dash?

I’m sure your dash will be outstanding Nicky!! xx

That's really lovely
Thank you
i did not see any purple on my walk to work
Green is my favourite colour flower - a colour often overlooked in the flower dept (purple goes nice with green)
Here are our green acorns on my walk to work
I could here the ripe ones falling all around me

 

[oncrutchesrightnow]

As the song My Way by Frank Sinatra goes...

Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention...

I would like to play that at my funeral when the time comes.

DK

My dad sings that song out loud sometimes.

My life turned out better. Some of it has to do with discovering what I really enjoy compared to what I thought I would like.

 

[Starstruck8]

Materially, my life has been far better than I had imagined. Not from any personal merit (the same applies to most comfortably-off people in developed countries), but because of technological advances.

When I was young, Dick Tracey wristwatches were comic strip fantasies. Now, I have a mobile phone. Then, we had telegrams, charged by the word, physically delivered, and reserved for emergencies and special occasions. ‘Trunk calls’, as we called them, were also very expensive. Now, I have email. Then, knowledge was found in thick books in inaccessible libraries. Now I can google it. Then, watches were mechanical, and a reliable one was an expensive status symbol. Now, I have an inexpensive quartz watch. Then, you took your film to a chemist and waited for days for it to be processed. Now I have digital cameras and editing software.

Then, ‘overseas’ was a sort of fantasy. I read about it in books and newspapers (remember them?), and saw it pictured on TV and in movies, but only VIPs and rich people had actually been there. Now, I’ve been there myself.

When I was young, forums like this were not even dreamed of.

Young people today (hrrmp, hrrmp) really don’t appreciate how much we now take for granted. Even we oldies don’t always appreciate it as we should.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I never planned to marry, never planned to have children. Did it anyway so in this regard as a SAHM my life is completely different to what I had thought growing up / during my studies. Still feel fulfilled. Love DH and have what I took for granted growing up: a stable, loving relationship. Am very grateful for this every day now that I know it's a huge blessing and unfortunately not everyone has /had this .

 

[Nininchka]

I see purple in the weeds.

Love this line— well said.

 

[missy]

This is a hard one to answer. Maybe better?
I had career goals that evaporated when I got married and had babies.
Then I found married life to be suffocating.
So looking back, I should not have gotten married.
Now all these years later, I am free to be me, but my current job is not what I wanted for myself. Financially, things could always be better, but what we have is sufficient.
But all in all, I am in a better place than a lot of other people.

I think it's always a mixed bag so to speak. I mean who is to say if we didn't experience the things we felt might have been "mistakes" we would have ended up where we are now? Change one thing and maybe all that follows will change as well.

It is perhaps a clique to say that life is a journey. It ebbs and flows. We must ride the waves for there is no other choice. This is my life. Whether it is good or bad is not the point. I think it is how we live it. I see purple in the weeds.

This. Exactly.

i see beauty in the flowers of the weeds

And that is everything. Life is not so much what happens to us but how we perceive it and how we react to it.

"Life happens. We adapt. Embrace change. Make the most of everything that comes your way."

I shan't say never never

Being open to all the possibilities is a beautiful thing. And when you least expect it the best will come.

When I met Mike it's like the Sun started shining in my life, on me.

That is heartwarming to read. And perhaps because of all you went through before you recognized who you were meant to be with when the time came.

Better.