Oh my gosh, how does anyone ever choose a venue??

[shertz1981]

I am such an idiot! I thought I''d walk into one, and FI and I would look at each other and be like, "This is THE ONE."

It didn''t happen with the ring, so I dunno why I thought it would happen with the venue. I don''t know what to do. But I learned that I have no ability to walk into a space and conceptualize what it will look like. I just see ... a room.

Each one has a big upside and a big downside:

1) Wannabe-Swanktacular Hotel
PRO: It will have the best food
CON: I don''t like the wedding coordinator (neither does FI)

2) Old Established Hotel
PRO: The staff is beyond knowledgeable and gracious
CON: The decor outside of the ballroom and cocktail hour room is Pete''s Party Palace (or, in hoity-toity language that''s really just my bad French, La Palace de Jouer de Pete) circa 1985

3) Museum with Marble Staircase
PRO: Clearly physically stunning, and since they have no equipment, you can control everything
CON: There will be lots of stairs, and the acoustics? LOUD (maybe not fantabulous for our elderly/very young guests), plus we might have too many people to get around doing dinner on the Mezzanine around the central foyer (I cannot see certain guests coming downstairs for the ceremony, up to the mezz for dinner, and back down for dancing)

4) Modern-Edge Hotel
PRO: Decor and ambience are absolutely stunning, staff makes one feel confident that the wedding wold go smoothly
CON: Multiple events are held at the same time and there has been some evidence that brides have felt neglected for bigger events

5) Journalism Museum
PRO: Stunning views of the city from the terrace, room is a blank slate
CON: The indoor ceremony plan is awful (sad, sparse conference room), reception room is a blank slate

(There were two outdoor venues as well, but I think my dad would die of horror if we picked one of those.)

I''m just being too negative, but I''m wiped from the weekend of hunting and discussing (FI an dparents needed instantaneous reactions, while I prefer to digest) and I''m also annoyed that I didn''t fall in love with any of them!

 

[ladypirate]

I think to some extent you just have to accept that there is no perfect place (unless you have some CRAZY high budget). What cons can you live with? What can you not live without?

Good luck with your decision!

 

[princessplease]

I'd keep looking at more venues within budget to see if you can find one that encompasses all of what you're looking for, then do what LP suggests...ask yourself what cons can I live with?

 

[shertz1981]

To be fair, none of these cons (well, maybe with the exception of not liking the event planner at Venue #1) are really that bad. I was just so *sure* the Marble Museum would be IT.

Part of the problem is also that FI and I have very divergent tastes -- his #1 is the Journo Museum and he''s not that keen on any of the hotels, so I spent the night tossing and turning over disappointing him.

 

[MagsyMay]

I''d say if you''re not thrilled right now, maybe go see a few more places. I think the first time out (or a major excursion such as seeing so many one after another) can be a bit overwhelming. I think we saw about 12 places (I about stopped counting after 10, ha!). There''s going to be a compromise or slight downside or something you wish was different about most every place, so like LP said, just figure out what is most important to you and your FI and what you can look the other way about!

As for divergent tastes between you and FI, I don''t have any advice since I didn''t encounter that problem. I guess you just have to decide who cares more? My FI cared, but he didn''t care enough to try to override what I wanted, although admittedly I think I was swayed by what I knew he liked best! Good luck!

 

[sillyberry]

You''re in DC, right? I''m going to have to try and guess all of your spots...

 

[Winks_Elf]

We wound up going with the place with the best food for the price and the easiest for the guests to get to.

 

[lulu66]

i don''t have any advice shertz, but just wanted to extend "good luck" making the decision! i''d be really interested to hear what you go with & why, so please keep up posted!

 

[shertz1981]

Thanks, everyone. I''m totally having a Negative Nelly day, I think because I''m tired and a little overwhelmed by all the information.

The fact that I am not artistic in the slightest is not helping me envision the beauty of the venues!

And sillyberry, if you guess right, I promise to fess up -- I will be sad if you don''t guess what the Journalism Museum is! (which to be fair is my fave non-Smithsonian museum in DC)

 

[NakedFinger]

Shertz- ask the venues to show you photos of previous weddings. Full ballroom shots, food stations, table settings, etc. Most photographers and/or brides share their photos with the venue and they have a plethora of shots lying around. Even better (if they will allow, which some dont) find out the next Saturday night they are having a wedding, and ask if you can come by after its been completely set up (tables, flowers, linens, lighting, etc) but before the guests arrive (they will give you a time). This way you get a "feel" for the space, and truly get to visualize your wedding being there. Almost all venues have no problem doing this and get requests for it all the time.

 

[shertz1981]

Ooh, NakedFinger, can I have your avatar???? LOVE

I actually found that looking at photographers'' blogs is super helpful -- I found four of the venues photographed via Google, including a very neat blue/violet uplighting scheme for the Journalism Museum that made me reconsider my hasty rejection.

The site pictures are beyond perfect -- a great ideal to which I aspire -- but the "warts and all" photos have been very (ahem) illuminating.

 

[sillyberry]

Yes, I know for sure what the "Journalism Museum" is. Still haven''t been though!

My guesses: The W, The Hay-Adams, National Museum of Women in the Arts, Hotel Monaco, and the Newseum

Also, I definitely love finding venue pics on photog blogs. You can really see what couples have done with the space - great possibilities!

 

[shertz1981]

National Museum of Women in the Arts is the Marble Museum

None of those are the hotels!

Go to the Newseum -- it''s so fun, especially the big newspaper room

 

[honey22]

Date: 11/9/2009 2:20:45 PM
Author: princessplease
I''d keep looking at more venues within budget to see if you can find one that encompasses all of what you''re looking for, then do what LP suggests...ask yourself what cons can I live with?

Ditto! Your perfect venue will be out there

 

[sillyberry]

I didn''t get a single hotel? That hurts. Umm...

Mandarin Oriental, Mayflower, Willard, Topaz?

 

[yssie]

For us the biggest con when looking was exactly the same as yours in #4 - that there might be multiple competing events on the same night.

We must have looked at dozens of places, and eventually they all just started running together in my head so we just sat down, listed pros and cons, and picked the one with the least offensive con. And it felt so good when we *decided* and it was *done*!

Our venue is the camden yards marriott in Balti, and the pros are numerous

. The biggest con is the lack of woods/trees.

 

[Deelight]

I went for the venue that was beautiful and CLEAN and with a fantastic rep for food and service, it is no where near perfect but I love it and I think it is perfect for us now .

I heard parchbels cannon and so did FI as we walked down to the ceremony site so I think that was a sign

 

[shertz1981]

Date: 11/9/2009 10:45:33 PM
Author: sillyberry
I didn''t get a single hotel? That hurts. Umm...

Mandarin Oriental, Mayflower, Willard, Topaz?

You got one ... MO is the Modern-Edge

Yssie -- I love B''more so much!

After a good night''s sleep, I''ve realized that I have at least four good options.

 

[vc10um]

Oooo! shertz, I''m in DC, too!!! (Alexandria, actually.) I feel a GTG coming on...

The Newseum would be a fabulous venue (esp. if they open the sixth floor promenade for you...imagine the pictures!!!) as would the MO, but I understand the possibility of being neglected.

I haven''t been in the area too long (only a little over 2 years) so I''m not as familiar with the hotels in the area...I''ll leave the guessing to sillyberry!

I agree with NakedFinger about asking for pictures of weddings they''ve hosted...that will help your "non-creative" side visualize...though I bet by the end of this planning process, you''ll find out you''re more creative than you think!

 

[shertz1981]

Date: 11/10/2009 9:55:03 AM
Author: vc10um
Oooo! shertz, I''m in DC, too!!! (Alexandria, actually.) I feel a GTG coming on...

The Newseum would be a fabulous venue (esp. if they open the sixth floor promenade for you...imagine the pictures!!!) as would the MO, but I understand the possibility of being neglected.

I haven''t been in the area too long (only a little over 2 years) so I''m not as familiar with the hotels in the area...I''ll leave the guessing to sillyberry!

I agree with NakedFinger about asking for pictures of weddings they''ve hosted...that will help your ''non-creative'' side visualize...though I bet by the end of this planning process, you''ll find out you''re more creative than you think!

The terrace at the Newseum is awesome (8th floor ceremony, 7th floor party, you''re actually not in the museum at all!), and the reception room is uplight-able into something very cool.

The one problem: indoor ceremony would take place in a room that looks ... well ... exactly like a conference room. I have no idea how one would decorate it without piling an arm and a leg onto the florist bill.

What is a GTG?

 

[vc10um]

Date: 11/10/2009 10:09:20 AM
Author: shertz1981

Date: 11/10/2009 9:55:03 AM
Author: vc10um
Oooo! shertz, I''m in DC, too!!! (Alexandria, actually.) I feel a GTG coming on...

The Newseum would be a fabulous venue (esp. if they open the sixth floor promenade for you...imagine the pictures!!!) as would the MO, but I understand the possibility of being neglected.

I haven''t been in the area too long (only a little over 2 years) so I''m not as familiar with the hotels in the area...I''ll leave the guessing to sillyberry!

I agree with NakedFinger about asking for pictures of weddings they''ve hosted...that will help your ''non-creative'' side visualize...though I bet by the end of this planning process, you''ll find out you''re more creative than you think!

The terrace at the Newseum is awesome (8th floor ceremony, 7th floor party, you''re actually not in the museum at all!), and the reception room is uplight-able into something very cool.

The one problem: indoor ceremony would take place in a room that looks ... well ... exactly like a conference room. I have no idea how one would decorate it without piling an arm and a leg onto the florist bill.

What is a GTG?

That''s disheartening...although I''m sure you could do wonders with some fabric draping or rentals...but I''d have to see the space first...

And a GTG is a Get Together!

AKA, PS girlies meeting up in real life to show off their sparklies and have a girls day!

 

[shertz1981]

Date: 11/10/2009 10:16:41 AM
Author: vc10um

Date: 11/10/2009 10:09:20 AM
Author: shertz1981

Date: 11/10/2009 9:55:03 AM
Author: vc10um
Oooo! shertz, I''m in DC, too!!! (Alexandria, actually.) I feel a GTG coming on...

The Newseum would be a fabulous venue (esp. if they open the sixth floor promenade for you...imagine the pictures!!!) as would the MO, but I understand the possibility of being neglected.

I haven''t been in the area too long (only a little over 2 years) so I''m not as familiar with the hotels in the area...I''ll leave the guessing to sillyberry!

I agree with NakedFinger about asking for pictures of weddings they''ve hosted...that will help your ''non-creative'' side visualize...though I bet by the end of this planning process, you''ll find out you''re more creative than you think!

The terrace at the Newseum is awesome (8th floor ceremony, 7th floor party, you''re actually not in the museum at all!), and the reception room is uplight-able into something very cool.

The one problem: indoor ceremony would take place in a room that looks ... well ... exactly like a conference room. I have no idea how one would decorate it without piling an arm and a leg onto the florist bill.

What is a GTG?

That''s disheartening...although I''m sure you could do wonders with some fabric draping or rentals...but I''d have to see the space first...

And a GTG is a Get Together!

AKA, PS girlies meeting up in real life to show off their sparklies and have a girls day!

I am all in favor of a GTG!

 

[sba771]

I just wanted to say that I think you should keep looking. We saw a ton and they were all ''nice.'' We even put money down on one. I wasn''t over the moon gushing, but I thought ''well it will be nice enough, its fine." Well my mom kept scouting out places and then she found this one venue that made me grin from ear to ear and made my grumpy FI even break out into a large smile. This was 3 months after we had put a (refundable) deposit down on the other place. It takes time and is overwhelming, but it is out there! Keep looking and who knows, seeing other places might also psych you up about one you have already seen and didn''t see a certain way.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 11/9/2009 5:23:48 PM
Author: shertz1981
Ooh, NakedFinger, can I have your avatar???? LOVE


I actually found that looking at photographers'' blogs is super helpful -- I found four of the venues photographed via Google, including a very neat blue/violet uplighting scheme for the Journalism Museum that made me reconsider my hasty rejection.



The site pictures are beyond perfect -- a great ideal to which I aspire -- but the ''warts and all'' photos have been very (ahem) illuminating.

Haha thanks. You dont need it though, your finger isnt naked!!

 

[shertz1981]

I can always switch my ring to my RIGHT hand!

Hehe, j/k, but yours is one of my all-time fave PS avatars!

 

[NakedFinger]

Haha true!

Aww thanks!

 

[vc10um]

shertz...when are you planning your wedding for? Are you set on having it in the District or are you open to other locations? (Just out of curiosity. I think there are probably several locations in NoVa that could work for you...and maybe National Harbor? Not to mention all the wineries at reasonable distance from the city...)

 

[shertz1981]

When is a good question -- it''ll be btwn June 12th and November 20th of next year.

The size of the guest list precludes a lot of those wineries, and my parents are pretty set on having it in DC proper, soooo .... yeah

 

[vc10um]

Well that''s a HUUUUUGE date range.

And good thing for you that DC proper has a ton of potential venues, lol. I saw in smurfy''s thread that you posted your most-hated phrase is "What''s your vision?" and it cracked me up! Sounds like maybe figuring that out might help you narrow down your venue, too. Just throw out some adjectives that you feel describe you, your FI, and your relationship...and then figure out what venue captures the most...or at least the most important ones...

 

[shertz1981]

Hehe, the range is less scary than it looks. We have three huge things to plan around:

1) Jewish holidays (no September)
2) FMIL's trip to Africa, lucky woman (no mid to late August)
3) The 2010 elections (no October or early November)

One of my good friends is getting married 7/4 too.

My vision is basically me in a pretty dress, FI in a tux, lots of cool lighting, linens, and flower arrangements that aren't pink roses (both my cousins had)