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Oh Crap - My FI just got laid off!

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EricaR

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Two months exactly until we get married and he just got laid off. I don''t know what we going to do. We don''t have any savings (it is a long story here) and I am trying hard not to panic. At the very minimum we are going to have to put off our wedding, if not cancel it, because there is NO WAY we can justify and/or afford to take two weeks in Mexico. Maybe we''ll just do something in Vegas and then go on a big trip in a year? I really don''t know what to do right now.
 

shimmer

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Oh Erica, I am so sorry



ETA: I think the Vegas idea sounds like a great compromise!
 

allycat0303

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Nov 19, 2004
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Erica,

I really feel awful for you. I can''t imagine the amount of stress you are going through right now. Take a deep breath and go through things one thing at the time with your fiance. Keep us updated, and I am wishing you the best.
 

bee*

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May 14, 2006
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I''m so sorry to hear that. D lost his job last year and it''s such an awful thing to happen. Sending hugs.
 

Winslet

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Erica, I''m very sorry to hear this. If you need to, postponing the big honeymoon isn''t terrible even if it is a bit disappointing. Just make sure that you and your new DH plan a nice weekend together following the big day. The honeymoon doesn''t have to be super expensive to be great - you guys will just be sooooo happy to be married and have some alone time together to relax after all the excitement. And when you''re financially ready for the big honeymoon, you''ll be that much more excited for it! I wish your and your FI the best of luck, and the faith that everything will work out fine.
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
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Oh Erica, I''m so so sorry for you
I think postponing the honeymoon is a great idea, this way you have something else to look forward to next year. Hope things pick up soon for you *hug*
 

EricaR

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I suggested postponing the honeymoon but so far he''s resisting. I''m sure we''ll talk more tonight. He just finished filing for unemployment and is working on his resume.

I did just get good news - when my grandfather passed away last fall he left a little bit of money to me, but it has been tied up in the Florida courts since then. Today my dad got a letter saying that part of the estate is being released, so early next week I am expecting to receive the check. Between that and his severence, unemployment, plus making some cutbacks, we can probably live for for six or seven months.

Either way, I think the mexico wedding is off. We can do something much smaller, in Vegas, and still be happy. I think I''ll push that with him tonight.
 

Sabine

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Awe, I''m sorry to hear that! If you cancel the Mexico wedding or the honeymoon, will you be losing any significant amount of money?
 

choro72

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Erica, we really need to meet up, if only to support each other. FI got laid off too, and we're postponing ours until the end of this year or even next year. We had the civil ceremony done for legal reasons, and there is a resentful bit of me that thinks "what's the point of having it later if we're already married?" In the end, it will still be great and I'm looking forward to a winter wedding!
Vegas will be great! That was one of my dream wedding!
 

Lanie

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Feb 20, 2008
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Erica, I''m so sorry to hear about this.

My fiance was laid off 2 weeks ago, and the severance just ended today. He''s an architect, and there aren''t too many companies out there building anything in this economy.

I suggest what someone else said about going somewhere cheaper than Mexico, provided that you won''t lose any money. Things will turn around, but it may take some time.

Also, make sure he gets some type of insurance. Cobra is expensive. Go to ehealthinsurance.com and look up a plan for him. You don''t want something happening to him and then you go even more into debt if he gets hurt or in an accident.

You have to just focus on keeping his spirits up because this is a very hard time to lose a job. My fiance feels emasculated. He feels like he should be the breadwinner and not have to rely on my income and savings to get by, especially right before we walk down the aisle. (My wedding is in July by the way). Make sure you take care of him because if you give him the slightest indication that you are worried, your engagement could be miserable. I tell my fiance every day that things will turn around and that we have each other and our health. Keep focusing on the positives, and try to enjoy the engagement as best as you can, without stressing too much over last minute costs.

I feel for you!!!!
 

Gypsy

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Honey I''m so sorry. John was laid off in January and it''s just such a bad jolt. But to have it happen before your wedding honey, I''m so very sorry.

Do you have deposits down? Can you recover any of them or convert them to a deposit on honeymoon later on, instead of a wedding?

((HUGS))
 

CDNinNYC

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Oct 21, 2007
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Awww, Erica, I''m so sorry to hear this. I feel awful for you.
This is obviously a stressful time for your both.

I think Las Vegas is a great idea, especially if you haven''t made any deposits for Mexico.

Please let us know how things are going. I''m wishing the very best for you both.


CDN
 

elrohwen

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Oh my goodness, I am so so sorry
I really hope he''s able to find another job soon and I hope you come up with a good compromise for your wedding. I think going to Vegas and then doing a big trip next year or the year after is a great idea.
 

Tempi

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Aw, Erica, I am so sorry to hear this!! I know you guys have been looking forward to getting married, and I hope that you two can make it happen somehow. I like the Vegas idea too! Sending vibes to him, too. Hopefully things turn around soon!
 

EricaR

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Luckily he''s already on my health insurance so no worries there! My company offers "domestic partner" benefits and since we met the criteria he was able to get on my policy a few years back. WHEW!

We''ve got a lot of friends in Vegas, so maybe one of them can help us swing a deal at one of the wedding chappels. I''m emailing them now...
 

Sparkalicious

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Erica - I''m sorry. I know how difficult this is. I really admire your can do attitude. Although it may not be what you initially planned, you and your positive attitude are going to make your wedding happen, in spite of current challenges.
 

Winks_Elf

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If it is not going to eat up a significant portion of your savings/inheritance, I''d say keep the plan to go to mexico, or move it up! He''s not working right now, so it would be the perfect time to get married. Take a week to enjoy being newly weds, and then he can start looking for a job without the wedding distractions.

I''m sorry to hear about the layoff. It''s happening to so many people right now.
 

Italiahaircolor

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Dec 16, 2007
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Oh Erica, I am so sorry...this is terribly unfortunate. I wish you both the best as you move forward from this uncomfortable incident..
 

galvana

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OMG i am sooo sorry! my FI''s company are having their second round of layoff''s soon and we are scared - VERY SCARED.
 

musey

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Sep 30, 2006
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Erica, I am so sorry!! Whatever you decide to do, we'll be here to help you with it however we can


Sending your FI new job dust!
 

Clairitek

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Date: 2/25/2009 4:46:22 PM
Author: allycat0303
Erica,

I really feel awful for you. I can't imagine the amount of stress you are going through right now. Take a deep breath and go through things one thing at the time with your fiance. Keep us updated, and I am wishing you the best.
Ditto Ally. Deep breaths and taking it step by step will be good. I tend to freak out and want to go on extreme lock down with anything and everything when stuff like this happens. You seem fairly level-headed so hopefully you are coping OK with this. I'm so so so sorry for this to happen just before your wedding. I hope you are still able to figure something out. I'll be crossing my fingers for your FI to find another job swiftly.

Was he there long enough to be able to collect unemployment?

ETA: Nevermind! I see he has filed for unemployment already. Also great to read that he is still insured on your insurance. I <3 companies that allow for domestic partners to be covered.
 

ImpatientOne

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Oct 19, 2006
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Oh, Erica, I am so sorry! I, too, was laid off this week after nearly nine years with the same company


I hope you are able to find a way to still get married as planned. Best wishes to your FI in finding new employment quickly. These are scary times, for sure!
 

FrekeChild

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Dec 14, 2007
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((BIG ASS HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(Well, whatever.)

I think since you were planning on doing it legally in Vegas anyway, just make that a little bit bigger, and put off Mexico until your one year anniversary or so. This way, maybe you can avoid some drama with FFIL and his...chick.
 

The Future Mrs.

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Dec 3, 2008
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Okay Erica R. I am extremely sorry and devastated with you that you and your FI won''t have funds to go on with your plans.

I am thinking maybe you two could have a small justice of peace ceremony with close family and friends, get you a pretty destination wedding type dress, your FI in a nice suit, and go to a bed a breakfast for the weekend ! Then, after 3-5 years of marriage have the ceremony of your dreams, I''m pretty sure we won''t be in dire economic times for too long. This way you could have the most affordable ceremony without all the extra bells and whistles and still spend a little alone time with your honey... Just a thought !
 

Brown.Eyed.Girl

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Oh gosh Erica I''m so sorry. HUGE HUGS!!!

It sounds like a good plan to go for Vegas - I''m with Freke. Since you''re getting married there, just go a little bigger. You''ll have a fantastic wedding, and I hope your FI finds another job soon. Lots of dust being sent your way, dear
 

Blackpaw

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Jun 26, 2008
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Im sorry Erica, i hope that your FI bounces back from this setback, and im sure your wedding will be special no matter what form it takes.,..

 

iheartscience

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Jan 1, 2007
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12,111
I''m sorry to hear this, Erica! I hope everything works out and your fiance finds a job soon! A wedding in Vegas sounds like a great compromise and hopefully he''ll be employed soon and you can go to Mexico for your 1 year anniversary or something.
 
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