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Nowadays..$40K weddings are the norm?

Dancing Fire

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
33,852
We attended a wedding this past weekend and heard it cost like $40k + for 175 attendees... :eek: My daughters said... it was the best wedding they ever attended,and of course I was checking out all of the attendees jewelry... :naughty:
 
Ours squeaked in under $10K for about 85 people...so if that's the "norm" I fall far outside of it!

I think the average cost of a wedding today is like $23-27K?
 
Who said that wedding cost $40K?

That is not the norm. Maybe if you include rings & honeymoon, a wedding might be closer, but I don't think that is the typical amount.
 
175 people?? A hundred & seventy-five of your close friends? There's their first mistake. A wedding is supposed to be a sharing of an important ritual & time of life with those you really care about & who care about you.

Here's another news flash: we had about 50 at our wedding & when I look at photos, I don't remember who a few are & we haven't heard from a number of others in decades. It's not as important as it momentarily feels to invite every. single. acquaintance.

--- Laurie
 
What the hell is wrong with people? :roll:
 
Weddings vary.
 
Don't know if it's the norm, but it doesn't seem ridiculously for 175 guests.
 
Hmm. Ours was under $3000.

Considering the level of debt that young people are taking on from paying from school, and the job woes among the recently graduated and slightly older (prime marrying age, one would assume) I wonder if A) they are taking on more debt to have a wedding, which would just be idiotic, and B) if the sample did not just exclude, say, the lower 80% of people, since the lower and lower middle-class are not getting married at the rate of the wealthy, C) if the couples they are talking about are trust fund babies who have mom and dad pay for everything, and D) if this is just something made up to grab headlines.

I wonder if anyone has done a study to see if there is an inverse relationship between three-ring-circus-ness of the wedding, and the longevity of the marriage.
 
new norm? I definitely don't think so.

Mine was 40k for 120 guests but I have many, many friends who paid much less for their weddings that also turned out to be fantastic.

To each their own.
 
MC|1374518002|3487813 said:
Who said that wedding cost $40K?

That is not the norm. Maybe if you include rings & honeymoon, a wedding might be closer, but I don't think that is the typical amount.
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heard it through the grapevine... :lol:... after the 5:00 PM wedding ceremony they were serving sea food appetizers for 2 hrs ,then a steak dinner at 7:00 + an open bar all you can drink from 4:00 till 11:00 pm.

http://www.rubyhillwinery.net/
 
SB621|1374528104|3487960 said:
https://www.pricescope.com/forum/hangout/average-cost-of-wedding-t90829-30.html
Click to expand...


And that was a few years ago, too. Wedding prices have only gone up. I got quotes in 2011 and again recently from the same vendors. :$$):






I've given insight to the SoCal norm using my friend's wedding example and my own research, and only got shamed for 1) not looking for cheaper alternatives like at a church when I'm not religious, or 2) inviting only 3 guests (exaggerating), so I'll just say I do think it's normal in So-Cal areas, and remembering you're in NorCal, where things are MORE expensive… yeah. I can def see it happening.. and I'll never look back in this thread again ;))
 
In 2006 we paid between 25 and 30K for our daughters wedding. I never did a final total. Didn't really want to know. I would never spend that much again. I have friends who threw lovely weddings for their kids and spent much much less. And on top of that the marriage didn't last. You can have as lovely memories for 10K as 40K in my opinion.
 
luv2sparkle|1374540482|3488115 said:
In 2006 we paid between 25 and 30K for our daughters wedding. I never did a final total. Didn't really want to know. I would never spend that much again. I have friends who threw lovely weddings for their kids and spent much much less. And on top of that the marriage didn't last. You can have as lovely memories for 10K as 40K in my opinion.
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Yup,$7,000 an hr down the drain... ::)
 
We got married for somewhere around $15k in 2010 in Las Vegas with 22 people (including us). That included a lot of random stuff though, lots of photography and really excellent food (BACON FRIES!)

You realize you're in for it, right DF? You have TWO daughters. And from what I know, they have expensive taste that they get from their father. :cheeky:
 
Mine was 40k for 160ish attendees. Most people I know in my social circle who've had "normal" weddings were 30-50k. For us, with rings and honeymoon, double that. The "budget" weddings in my circle have still been 20kish unless extremely small, in which case 10kish.

JewelFreak|1374523186|3487895 said:
175 people?? A hundred & seventy-five of your close friends? There's their first mistake. A wedding is supposed to be a sharing of an important ritual & time of life with those you really care about & who care about you.
Click to expand...

This seems really judgmental, JewelFreak. My husband and I are very social, and we did just invite people we see in person on purpose a minimum of once a month (or, if they live out of town, talk to frequently), plus his immediate family and my extended family. That was 200 people. Of course, our families alone made up 80 of those people. Most of our friends are coupled, so even if we are better friends with one person, the other is definitely coming. We didn't invite anyone we considered an acquaintance, or a work colleagues we rarely see out of work. With two exceptions, everyone I invited I have known for at least five years (and those two are people I met a year ago and now talk to weekly on four-hour-long rambling phone conversations), and I believe everyone my husband invited he has known at least eight years.
 
FrekeChild|1374554645|3488256 said:
We got married for somewhere around $15k in 2010 in Las Vegas with 22 people (including us). That included a lot of random stuff though, lots of photography and really excellent food (BACON FRIES!)

You realize you're in for it, right DF? You have TWO daughters. And from what I know, they have expensive taste that they get from their father. :cheeky:
Click to expand...
We go by the "Chinese traditional rule"...the groom side pays for the whole wedding!... :bigsmile:
 
madelise said:
SB621|1374528104|3487960 said:
https://www.pricescope.com/forum/hangout/average-cost-of-wedding-t90829-30.html
Click to expand...


And that was a few years ago, too. Wedding prices have only gone up. I got quotes in 2011 and again recently from the same vendors. :$$):






I've given insight to the SoCal norm using my friend's wedding example and my own research, and only got shamed for 1) not looking for cheaper alternatives like at a church when I'm not religious, or 2) inviting only 3 guests (exaggerating), so I'll just say I do think it's normal in So-Cal areas, and remembering you're in NorCal, where things are MORE expensive… yeah. I can def see it happening.. and I'll never look back in this thread again ;))
Click to expand...

Ughhhhh!!! The main reason I haven't started planning a wedding is because pretty much every place I've looked at in LA is ridiculously expensive. We grew up together here, and have both lived here most of our lives. It would be tough to get married anywhere else because we'd have to ask almost everyone to travel. Out of my friends, the cheapest wedding was about $30k.

I heard that the average price of a wedding these days is about $25k.

We'll pay for most of the wedding ourselves, so spending $20k or more on one day just makes me sick. I would rather elope or have something small and put the money towards our dream purchase--a 4+ unit building. Not glamorous, but I'd rather spend the money on something more tangible.

I think most guys would be thrilled to have a partner that's practical and doesn't want a wedding. However, my guy is not most guys... Call him Bridezillo: he wants the party with all our friends. And I feel guilty not letting him have that, so we've been engaged for a year and a half and I continue to search for a wedding I can stomach...
 
I have 1 word, INSANE. For 1 day, never. I would rather give my child a large amount to send them on their honeymoon where ever they want to go.
 
I did not realize wedding are this expensive! There must be ways to have a memorable wedding without spending that much all on one day.
 
I recently read an article that said those kind of numbers are false as an average. It said about $15k is average. $40k might be average in certain locations, but I can certainly say the average is far less here. Some people get married in a church and have light food in the church reception hall and I can tell you it can be done for $5k in that circumstance. We did a church wedding and country club reception for our daughter and still came out under $20k with about 140 and that was only family, our closest friends and their closest friends...as in, the bride or groom knew every person there well. If $40k is pocket change to you, then by all means spend it. But our daughter wouldn't have even considered running up a bill that high for one day. And I think I'd even go a little smaller for the next daughter.
 
Am I the only one who thinks that considering an expensive honeymoon part of the wedding, and asking the parents to pay for it (or strong-arming the parents to pay for it, in the case of one of my friends) is kind of ridiculous? What most people seem to consider the minimum for a honeymoon - at least a week in some far-off locale - is a vacation, a luxury. Call me old fashioned, but asking parents to stretch their budgets to pay for the happy couple to go on vacation strikes me as an admission that the couple probably isn't ready to deal with the financial realities of being married.
 
VRBeauty|1374588978|3488453 said:
Am I the only one who thinks that considering an expensive honeymoon part of the wedding, and asking the parents to pay for it (or strong-arming the parents to pay for it, in the case of one of my friends) is kind of ridiculous? What most people seem to consider the minimum for a honeymoon - at least a week in some far-off locale - is a vacation, a luxury. Call me old fashioned, but asking parents to stretch their budgets to pay for the happy couple to go on vacation strikes me as an admission that the couple probably isn't ready to deal with the financial realities of being married.
Click to expand...

We paid for the wedding but not a penny on the honeymoon. They paid for that themselves and used some of the cash wedding gifts for spending money, etc. Since the traditional groom's parents expenses are less, if they want to make a wedding gift toward the honeymoon expenses, that is fine by me. But had they had no money for a honeymoon, they could have gone to the grandparents mountain house for free. We don't think it is the parents responsibility to fund a honeymoon.
 
My ILs gifted us our honeymoon. We didn't expect it but we were delighted to accept it.

I think it's a bit unrealistic to suggest that weddings are always about the happy couple. My wedding was as much about introducing our families and having a grand family event as it was about DH and I committing to join our lives... and our families were happy to pay for parts that were important to them, and contributed generously to the parts that were important to us as well.


Honestly though, the biggest gift our parents have given us is paying for our educations. If given the option I would MUCH rather pay my child's way through college and avoid saddling him/her with student loans than pay for his/her wedding.
 
We go by the "Chinese traditional rule"...the groom side pays for the whole wedding!...
Click to expand...

We put our kid thru private school from pre-k to obtaining his MBA. I told him that was it, he was resposible for getting himself reliable car and wedding.
 
diamondseeker2006|1374587952|3488445 said:
I recently read an article that said those kind of numbers are false as an average. It said about $15k is average. $40k might be average in certain locations, but I can certainly say the average is far less here. Some people get married in a church and have light food in the church reception hall and I can tell you it can be done for $5k in that circumstance. We did a church wedding and country club reception for our daughter and still came out under $20k with about 140 and that was only family, our closest friends and their closest friends...as in, the bride or groom knew every person there well. If $40k is pocket change to you, then by all means spend it. But our daughter wouldn't have even considered running up a bill that high for one day. And I think I'd even go a little smaller for the next daughter.
Click to expand...
b/c you live in the boonies... :lol:
 
JewelFreak|1374523186|3487895 said:
175 people?? A hundred & seventy-five of your close friends? There's their first mistake. A wedding is supposed to be a sharing of an important ritual & time of life with those you really care about & who care about you.

Here's another news flash: we had about 50 at our wedding & when I look at photos, I don't remember who a few are & we haven't heard from a number of others in decades. It's not as important as it momentarily feels to invite every. single. acquaintance.

--- Laurie
Click to expand...

We had around 215 people because as soon as the mothers got involved in the guest lists, the number went crazy! Plus, DH's father is one of 10 and if you count only first cousins, it was nuts, just for his family. BUT we did a majority of everything ourselves (including all the food) and for us, it was around $7k. I cannot even fathom spending $40k on one single day in my life, even if it weren't my money!
 
All I can say is wow... but then again, I am not a wedding person.
 
Amber St. Clare|1374593230|3488494 said:
We go by the "Chinese traditional rule"...the groom side pays for the whole wedding!...
Click to expand...

We put our kid thru private school from pre-k to obtaining his MBA. I told him that was it, he was resposible for getting himself reliable car and wedding.
Click to expand...

This thread makes me glad I have two sons, but yes, also feel wedding isn't on the list of expenses I would cover. Hopefully education, but there are even rules to that. I won't pay for an abscure degree. Car is unknown at this point. If both kids are in AP classes and on honor roll, they will get help with vehicles. I'd also be willing to help w/a downpayment on a house.
 
MC|1374609931|3488657 said:
Amber St. Clare|1374593230|3488494 said:
We go by the "Chinese traditional rule"...the groom side pays for the whole wedding!...
Click to expand...

We put our kid thru private school from pre-k to obtaining his MBA. I told him that was it, he was resposible for getting himself reliable car and wedding.
Click to expand...

This thread makes me glad I have two sons, but yes, also feel wedding isn't on the list of expenses I would cover. Hopefully education, but there are even rules to that. I won't pay for an abscure degree. Car is unknown at this point. If both kids are in AP classes and on honor roll, they will get help with vehicles. I'd also be willing to help w/a downpayment on a house.
Click to expand...

I have two daughters, now 14 and 18, so wedding planning is probably a number of years away. Still, I've already commented that we'll help get them an education, but the weddings will be theirs to plan and pay. Obviously, we will gift them as we can, but if they choose to go with an extravagant event, it will be up to the couple to cover the costs.

For my own wedding, 24 years ago, DH and I planned for a wedding we were paying for ourselves. It probably cost about half of what the average at the time, which I believe was $10K. Ultimately, his parents gave us a very generous gift, which covered about 50% of the reception, and my aunt and uncle gave us an amount that covered about 25%, plus they payed for my wedding gown, as their personal gift to me. We didn't expect any of that, though, and had we planned a more expensive affair, we wouldn't have expected anything different.
 
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