Hello all! I have not been around much because school sucked me in once again. I stopped by to check on CrazyMaybe and I see that she has made the courageous decision to leave her abusive spouse. I wish you the best Crazy!
Things within my own marriage improved briefly, but we are once again unhappy. We did begin seeing a marriage counselor, but we have only had one session so far. I'm afraid we may be beyond counseling. I thought counseling had gone well but a week later we got into an argument and he through everything I said in counseling back in my face. We have another scheduled on Friday, if we make it that long.......
Lately, I feel like I have been waiting for an excuse to leave him. I tell myself, "If he does {FILL IN THE BLANK} one more time, I'm gone!" I used to think that if he could just get sober, I could forget about his past addiction and we could move forward. Well, now that he is "sober", I am constantly worrying if he using and just hiding it really well. I realized that I will NEVER be able to know for sure if he is 100% sober. Assuming that he is sober, I discovered that his addiction was overshadowing other more typical marriage issues, and now we don't have enough fight left in us to deal with all the over problems.
Lately his behavior has been very violent. I always try to approach him in a nonthreatening manner, and never raise my voice. Nonetheless, the slightest things will set him off into a fit of rage. He screams, mocks me, swears, punches walls, throws whatever is in his reach (sunglasses, remote controls, dishes), and sometimes even hits himself or rips his shirt off. Recently I asked him not to text while driving, and he slammed on the brakes, swerved off the interstate, and demanded that I drive. He has never put his hands on me, and while I understand there is a possibility of him becoming physically abusive, I am not afraid for my safety (only the safety of my home decor). He absolutely has learned this behavior from his father, we have talked about it and he says he will work harder to control his temper. It doesn't take long for him have another tantrum. Even the dogs quiver anytime it sounds like he might be agitated.
Tonight we had the all too common "we aren't happy, lets get a divorce" talk, and it was actually more of a civil argument than an all out screaming match (he still mocked me and acted like an ass, but at least he wasn't yelling!). I am trying to decide if I will still have the guts to leave tomorrow, or if this is another "go" of our cycle.
So my question is: Is this kind of behavior normal? I'm referring to how he escalates his anger into a fit of rage: screaming, throwing, punching, etc. While I can't stand it, I almost find myself thinking that maybe he is just that frustrated with our marriage. But this isn't normal right? Why the hell do people get married
?
Things within my own marriage improved briefly, but we are once again unhappy. We did begin seeing a marriage counselor, but we have only had one session so far. I'm afraid we may be beyond counseling. I thought counseling had gone well but a week later we got into an argument and he through everything I said in counseling back in my face. We have another scheduled on Friday, if we make it that long.......
Lately, I feel like I have been waiting for an excuse to leave him. I tell myself, "If he does {FILL IN THE BLANK} one more time, I'm gone!" I used to think that if he could just get sober, I could forget about his past addiction and we could move forward. Well, now that he is "sober", I am constantly worrying if he using and just hiding it really well. I realized that I will NEVER be able to know for sure if he is 100% sober. Assuming that he is sober, I discovered that his addiction was overshadowing other more typical marriage issues, and now we don't have enough fight left in us to deal with all the over problems.
Lately his behavior has been very violent. I always try to approach him in a nonthreatening manner, and never raise my voice. Nonetheless, the slightest things will set him off into a fit of rage. He screams, mocks me, swears, punches walls, throws whatever is in his reach (sunglasses, remote controls, dishes), and sometimes even hits himself or rips his shirt off. Recently I asked him not to text while driving, and he slammed on the brakes, swerved off the interstate, and demanded that I drive. He has never put his hands on me, and while I understand there is a possibility of him becoming physically abusive, I am not afraid for my safety (only the safety of my home decor). He absolutely has learned this behavior from his father, we have talked about it and he says he will work harder to control his temper. It doesn't take long for him have another tantrum. Even the dogs quiver anytime it sounds like he might be agitated.
Tonight we had the all too common "we aren't happy, lets get a divorce" talk, and it was actually more of a civil argument than an all out screaming match (he still mocked me and acted like an ass, but at least he wasn't yelling!). I am trying to decide if I will still have the guts to leave tomorrow, or if this is another "go" of our cycle.
So my question is: Is this kind of behavior normal? I'm referring to how he escalates his anger into a fit of rage: screaming, throwing, punching, etc. While I can't stand it, I almost find myself thinking that maybe he is just that frustrated with our marriage. But this isn't normal right? Why the hell do people get married
?
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