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Never say never...bling outside of PriceScopeLand

CarbonBling

CarbonBling

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2017
Messages
49
Bling lovers:

My bling research, a la PriceScope, has taken me to some deep, old threads. Years ago some of you were saying, "I'd never go bigger than X [fill in carat weight]" / "This is my forever ring", and I'm quite sure that some of you have surpassed that 'never' mark / seen many since iterations of your forever ring :P2 (I don't blame you! I totally get it - the bling struggle is real).

How many of you have ended up with bigger bling (as compared to your inclinations a few years ago)?

I ask because my goal is to upgrade to 3cts. This has taken a bit longer than I'd like, but the extra time has allowed me to consider this purchase a little more thoughtfully. I live in a well-to-do community, and would have no problem wearing 3cts on a daily basis. A good portion of my dearest friends, however, live in surrounding communities, with slightly less means. In my heart of hearts, I do think 3cts may make some of them uncomfortable; I would hate for any material thing to have an impact on such important relationships - things come and go, but solid, lasting friendships are worth more than their weight in gold.

Seeing as though we don't live in PriceScopeLand (where bling is king, unabashedly :mrgreen2:), have any of you had a similar experience when considering an upgrade? I'm now considering between 2.5-3cts, but I've been so focused on 3cts I don't know if I will find myself going down the shoulda woulda coulda road. Those of you who have restrained yourselves, do you ever regret not going bigger? I'm just trying to consider this from different angles; I appreciate your input! xo
 
When I was younger I was concerned that my love of big bling would alienate some friends / family. (I thought 3 carat was my max...now I am heading towards 5 and itching for 7!)

Now that I am older (and hopefully wiser), that concern over alienating friends or others is no longer there. Because if they are really my true friends and family, even if there were a twinge of discomfort over my big bling, they would understand and be happy for me.

If they are so judgmental about what I have, chances are behind my backs they have always been judgmental about me, just not to my face till the bling appeared (which I learned the hard way earlier in my life).

I guess bling is a quick way to find out who your real friends are ;)2
 
Alexiszoe said:
When I was younger I was concerned that my love of big bling would alienate some friends / family. (I thought 3 carat was my max...now I am heading towards 5 and itching for 7!)

Now that I am older (and hopefully wiser), that concern over alienating friends or others is no longer there. Because if they are really my true friends and family, even if there were a twinge of discomfort over my big bling, they would understand and be happy for me.

If they are so judgmental about what I have, chances are behind my backs they have always been judgmental about me, just not to my face till the bling appeared (which I learned the hard way earlier in my life).

I guess bling is a quick way to find out who your real friends are ;)2
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This - totally. I'm always happy if my friends get a new anything that they love. If I'm envious I say "omg I'm so jealous I want one!" - never catty about material things. I just don't get that. Luckily my fingers are small so I probably won't suffer from dss.
My stone is 1.5 - I actually hope my bff gets a 3 because her fingers are bigger!
 
My diamond is larger than all of my friends and family. I do know, however, that while they might not spend the money (or may not have the money) to spend on such a thing, they know that I love diamonds and buy it for my own enjoyment - not to waggle it in front of their faces. Does it cause any bad feelings? Not that I am aware of and I never discuss price with them and thankfully they don't ask. I am sure they would be shocked at the dollar value and probably assume it is much less than spent. However, I think you buy and enjoy what is right for you. I understand consideration for them but we all work and spend our money on things that we want and what works for one might not work for the other. I enjoy with them the things that they find important in their lives as well even though it might not be something I would ever want.

Long story short, buy what you want and enjoy. Life is too short to do anything less. People forget about things rather quickly and are probably not as sensitive as we think they are!
 
People don't seem to notice when I wear my bigger stone, maybe because I'm pretty casual and it's an antique stone so it's not flashy in the same way as a mrb. I like to wear my small stone regularly though, because although I live in an area where 2 carats wouldn't even get s glance, I work in a very different community and it would feel wrong to me. But that's how it feels to me. In general I think it's fine to have the things you like..I do like diamonds and a nice purse. To wear with my converse high tops lol.
 
Buying a diamond larger than your peers may bring some negative attention, but "inheriting" said diamond rarely does.
 
I understand your concerns, as I had the same ones. I worried about the attention my 3ct asscher would bring. Now granted, an asscher faces up smaller than other cuts but because there's also a halo there's a bigger finger presence (about 11mm).

That being said, it hasn't been an issue at all. Instead, all I've gotten has been "Holy cow it's GORGEOUS", and not a snarky "Holy cow, it's HUGE" which is what I was afraid of. Even my Dad, who is not materialistic at all, loved it (and he was the one I was expecting the biggest comment from).

So I'd say go with what makes YOU happy. If your friends make unkind comments, call them out on it. Their happiness and approval shouldn't be linked to your ring and your choices.
 
Wasn't me I've never said I wouldn't go bigger than X..... I'd shamelessly where a huge big diamond and not give a second thought what anyone else said about it.
 
ILikeShiny said:
I understand your concerns, as I had the same ones. I worried about the attention my 3ct asscher would bring. Now granted, an asscher faces up smaller than other cuts but because there's also a halo there's a bigger finger presence (about 11mm).

That being said, it hasn't been an issue at all. Instead, all I've gotten has been "Holy cow it's GORGEOUS", and not a snarky "Holy cow, it's HUGE" which is what I was afraid of. Even my Dad, who is not materialistic at all, loved it (and he was the one I was expecting the biggest comment from).

So I'd say go with what makes YOU happy. If your friends make unkind comments, call them out on it. Their happiness and approval shouldn't be linked to your ring and your choices.
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Hey @ILikeShiny .... maybe we should see yours just to confirm it is indeed gorgeous???
 
I think you're an awesome friend to have! Yes, you should wear what makes you happy and go for it, but as far as wearing it, I believe that you should look at the surrounding circumstances. If your friends are struggling financially or just making ends meet, then I think your sensitivity is very considerate and maybe not wear it around them so much. Like you said, lasting friendships are rare. If your friends can afford luxury items but choose not to buy them, then that's different. We all have our indulgences. I have a 5 carat 3/4 eternity band, and though it doesn't have the same impact as a large single stone, it does get looks and comments. I work in the public sector, and wearing it is impractical, so all in all, I went bigger, I have no regrets because I do enjoy it when I wear it, but I don't wear it all the time depending on the situation.
 
I know exactly how you feel -I think if I am reading your post correctly.

I grew up comfortably (middle to upper) middle class and most of my family/friends are still there. It's not that you feel judged or that they are jealous in a malicious way, but there are uncomfortable feelings associated with purchasing/receiving "lavish" things.

We live in a well-to-do area, my husband is a successful professional and children attend expensive private school. Even among these new friends and associates, there is that awkward feeling when they ask to look at a new purchase or inquire where your vacationing. Most people are generally just curious and happy for you. It still feels weird when we know that many of our family and friends can not afford such luxuries. Then on the other end of the spectrum you have those that can and feel like it is a completion.

Try to be respectful and not flaunt , but certainly don't let others prevent you from enjoying. Maybe, keep your more modest ring to wear when you are with people you feel may be bothered by it.
 
Completely agree with all the others who affirmed you should pursue what will bring you joy and make you happiest. Life is short and if you have the means after all else is satisfied, why not?

However, I can also totally relate with your concerns @CarbonBling... although, it isn’t with family or friends. I know they would be happy for me. Although my dream size is a 3ct, I am hesitant based on where I work now, which would likely view it as an ostentatious display. I’m sure my recent upgrade to 2.31ct has already raised some eyebrows. That said, I will probably still upgrade down the line and wear my more modest rings where appropriate - unless (until?) I go back to the for-profit sector.
 
Do what feels comfortable for you. If you are among people that are really struggling, maybe they wouldn't feel badly about your gorgeous ring, but maybe you do. And if you do, don't feel bad about feeling bad. Just wear a smaller ring for that day/night.

But if it is just people who you are concerned that would be judgey about "spending money on jewelry", different people spend their money on different things.

I have friends/family that have money but just don't spend it on the same things I do - season tickets/frequent lavish vacations/storing up a nest egg in the bank/hermes bags to the hilt/expensive cars/5 star restaurants with wine pairing every other week. I don't judge them, and if they judge me, just don't tell me. I don't wanna hear it. If they take issue, it's their issue. Not mine. I'm fine. As I get older each year, I realize it's one less year for me to enjoy my life. So I don't let what friends/family may think or say affect how I live my life.
 
In an ideal world, we should always be able to wear what we like, but for me, much as I'd like a stonker, I actually wouldn't feel comfortable wearing it. Not because friends would be jealous, but because I'd feel it would draw too much attention and potentially put me at risk. Makes it sound like I live somewhere rough, I don't, just that most women in the UK don't tend to have big diamonds.
 
What I have noticed is that some people who can spend a lot of money on expensive cars, boats, planes and other toys in general would flip out at the idea of spending over a certain amount on a diamond. Just an observation.
 
I want to upgrade but it isn't a thing here at all. I would happily have a 2.5-3 carat solitaire tho usually my 1 carat stone is bigger than most of the rings I see around so I think I would feel a bit conspicuous. Lots of halos and pave on smaller stones but relatively few ‘larger’ single stones.
My husband is tolerant of the idea but does think it’s a bit weird. He is fine with spending $$$ on cars, guns and audio equipment so I think he just doesn’t see the point of spending so much on something so little cos it’s not his thing.
 
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I'm also in the UK and my 1.5 feels huge. I think any upgrades I go for in the future will be to increase the size of my jewelry collection rather than the size of my ER. :D
 
I grew up in Bergen County, NJ. My mother's family is old school Italian, and if you didn't have at least 1.5ct center with your original engagement ring, the old Aunties would immediately pipe in, "Whattsamatta with him!!? He can't afford to get you a decent ring, how's he gonna afford to support you and any babies!!?" For them it wasn't about status, but rather security for the long term. They saw the engagement ring as an investment into the marriage (to them, a small ring meant that they didn't take the engagement seriously). Kind of a different way of looking at it, but all my mom's friends had big rocks (2ct center was the "everyday" ring, and they went up from there). They also didn't believe in upgrades, but rather additions. The original stone was too sentimental to trade in.

I wound up losing my original diamond, and waited years to replace it with a .67ct in a halo. It's my favorite practical everyday ring. I have other rings, but my little baby diamond is my favorite. That doesn't mean I don't long for a big, beautiful warm ideal cut, but with four children I have other priorities right now. =)
 
As a jeweler, I've worn every size/color/price point under the sun, but found that anything over 8mm made me very uncomfortable given where I live (pacific northwest). My "non-jeweler" persona in my day to day life is mom running to/from school and my kid's sporting events (in my swanky Prius lol), taking care of my mini-farm (we have goats, chickens, etc.) and no one in my circle wears anything over 1ct. My newest ring is a 1.59ct F tranny in a simple bezel and I adore so many things about it - the size is perfect for me, and the colorless diamond really pops on my olive skin tone. The bezel adds to the finger presence as well. And with my naked eye all I see is sparkle, but not big individual facets (as you'd see on a 4ct OEC, by comparison) so even when it's smudged or a little dirty, I can't tell (I used to get SO OCD over that with bigger stones, to the point of distraction because I have an eagle eye!) After testing out bigger stones, I just prefer a more modest diamond ring that I can wear 24/7 and don't have to baby. My current ring is still bigger and blingier than most, but not so much so that I feel self conscious about it.
 
With my size 12 wedding ring finger, I could wear much bigger than my 1.53 solitaire which I recently got. I love the size of it, but would also love up to about 5 carats if I ever have that much extra money laying around.

Sparkle is not only my business, it is my passion.

Wink
 
Wink said:
I could wear much bigger
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Just realized that my one & only ideal finger ring requires a rather measly diamond, sternly dependent on ring size ... but, I agree with your thinking nonetheless: WWW

.-)
 
I'm a small person with average size fingers and I definitely have a comfort zone and limit where size is concerned. With my last ring, the designer expressed that if the stone's finger coverage seemed inadequate I could always add a colored halo to extend the look. I laughed and explained that in Doberman world a 3.2 ct cushion was more than big enough. In the eyes of my straight laced Midwestern family I'm already way over the line. Until I met my husband's family, the largest stone I'd ever seen was 1 ct, so I was kind of shocked at the stone sizes displayed.
 
Where I live (Los Angeles), it's not abnormal for 2-3 carats - sometimes much more too. I have a 1.7 carat and I thought that would always look huge to me. Um no. DSS is a mean, mean beast! I'm looking to upgrade to 2.75-3ct soon.
 
CarbonBling said:
Seeing as though we don't live in PriceScopeLand (where bling is king, unabashedly :mrgreen2:), have any of you had a similar experience when considering an upgrade? I'm now considering between 2.5-3cts, but I've been so focused on 3cts I don't know if I will find myself going down the shoulda woulda coulda road. Those of you who have restrained yourselves, do you ever regret not going bigger? I'm just trying to consider this from different angles; I appreciate your input! xo
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Nope, I don't have any diamond friends. My only problem is no $$$ in my piggy bank...;(. If I were you I'd go for a 3ct. I don't care what my friends think. I don't need to please them.
 
MissGotRocks said:
My diamond is larger than all of my friends and family. I do know, however, that while they might not spend the money (or may not have the money) to spend on such a thing, they know that I love diamonds and buy it for my own enjoyment - not to waggle it in front of their faces.
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Oh you must!...:lol:
 
Dancing Fire said:
Oh you must!...:lol:
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Nah, if something is worth having - regardless of what it is - people will usually notice it without you having to shove it in their face. I always told my kids to be both thankful and humble for what they have but to never flaunt anything. We all know those that are crashing bores trying to shove things down your throat - ha!! However, that is what PS is for in terms of jewelry!!
 
My first upgrade was from 1 ct to 1.6 cts, and I told Jonathan for the next few years that the stone was too big!!! In time, I decided I wanted an AVR for my e-ring and lost my mind and ended up with a 2.3 ct just because I love the facet pattern so much!:lol:

I do really think it is too big, but I haven't been able to let it go, either. I have good friends with varied financial means, but every single one wears their original diamond, and one carat was large back in the day when we got married. I do not in any way worry about my friends or family judging. I just have zero desire to stand out too much in a material sense. I could easily have a 3 ct diamond for what we paid for my current stone. But instead of upgrading, I have gone on to make other diamond rings and collect other jewelry. Everyone just has to figure out their own comfort zone.
 
Thank you all for your input and candor! I'm gonna do my best with the niceties of addressing all who contributed (my mother drilled me hard with the etiquette of the Thank You :P2, albeit this is quite the informal version :lol-2:) xo
@valeria101 touche! :lol:
@Alexiszoe 7! the bling is the limit!
@Kbell agreed - honesty goes a long way
@MissGotRocks well said
@GearGirly I'm so there with you, dressing bling up or down!
@LisaRN "inheriting", savvy
@ILikeShiny well stated
@arkieb1 unabashed bling! LOVE it! :love:
@flash_and_fire too sweet
@Octo2005 @stonewell Great minds think alike. Yes, I've considered wearing just my stack on my 'off' days
@LLJsmom well said
@Austina, @foxinsox, @BrimstoneTwo - thanks for your honesty
@Winks_Elf Love the background (except for the loosing original diamond part). My husband is a little more sentimental towards my original stone, but he understands the bling :mrgreen2:
@ericad stunning ring, I LOVE your setting
@Wink Love it! You're living out that whole, "do what you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life"
@doberman love it
@HappyNewLife DSS, yes! That is why I have held off on doing any 'in-bewteen' upgrades; I know that all too quickly I'd look down one day and be completely DSS-ing. :rolleyes2:
@Dancing Fire I agree that the wish-list far exceeds the liquid cash available for all these diamond endeavors :P2
@diamondseeker2006 I recently stumbled upon your thread from 2015 during which time you toyed with the idea of selling your 2.29 AVR (!), and understand what you mean about one's comfort zone. We'll see where this journey leads me =)2
 
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