Negative attitudes about breastfeeding...

[Laila619]

Hi ladies!

Do you notice (at least in the U.S.) that many people have negative attitudes about breastfeeding in general? Why is that? I'm still happily nursing my eleven month old son. I love it and he does too. However, a lot of people wonder why or ask me things like, "Are you still nursing?!" in disbelief, as though they can't imagine why. I wonder why this seems so odd, or like too long a duration to them? I plan on going even longer, for 15 months at least. I'd love for it to one day be that nursing is considered the norm and formula feeding is considered odd, but that will probably not happen. I have nothing against formula, but I just wonder why so many people seem to look down on breastfeeding and why it's not attempted for very long if at all. It seems like the women who do try aren't even supported, at least not for very long. Have you encountered these negative attitudes, too?

(No mommy wars intended, let's just have a friendly discussion )

 

[missy]

I do notice that. My sister breastfed both of her kids long after what was considered the "usual" amount of time and in fact had to pump at work so she could continue to do so. Not sure why society here views it as negative but I do remember she was very sensitive if anyone said anything to her so no one did. When my mom had us she didn't even breastfeed because people rarely did at that time due to prevailing thoughts at that time. Society is funny and I hate to use Kenny's old adage but people vary and why can't others just let them be as long as no harm is being done.

I do not notice negative attitudes today toward breastfeeding though. Maybe it is the area I live in because it is very kid friendly and the parents are very liberal and different than middle America attitudes so not sure what the rest of the country thinks. But near me breastfeeding is still the way to go.

 

[stephbolt]

It's funny, in my peer group there is actually more of a negative attitude about not breastfeeding. Friends of ours had their first almost two years ago, and they chose for personal reasons not to bf. A lot of our mutual friends were very judgemental about their decision and even attempted to lecture the couple that they were making a bad choice for their son.

 

[missy]

It's funny, in my peer group there is actually more of a negative attitude about not breastfeeding. Friends of ours had their first almost two years ago, and they chose for personal reasons not to bf. A lot of our mutual friends were very judgemental about their decision and even attempted to lecture the couple that they were making a bad choice for their son.

Yes, this is how it is in my area too. Why do people always have to inflict their thoughts on others if not asked? I really dislike this behavior. Too self-righteous.

 

[dcgator]

It's funny, in my peer group there is actually more of a negative attitude about not breastfeeding. Friends of ours had their first almost two years ago, and they chose for personal reasons not to bf. A lot of our mutual friends were very judgemental about their decision and even attempted to lecture the couple that they were making a bad choice for their son.

I am in this camp too. The area I live in has a lot of housewifes/non-working moms and they are all about exclusively breastfeeding. When I went to a playgroup, all the mommies were breastfeeding their babies, and talked about extending it as long as possible (1 year+). I felt like a bad mommy b/c I was the only one not breastfeeding. Oh well, people can judge away as I will take pumping and a non-colicky baby over breastfeeding and a miserable screaming child anyday.

 

[Skippy123]

It's funny, in my peer group there is actually more of a negative attitude about not breastfeeding. Friends of ours had their first almost two years ago, and they chose for personal reasons not to bf. A lot of our mutual friends were very judgemental about their decision and even attempted to lecture the couple that they were making a bad choice for their son.

THIS
my boys wouldn't latch so I pumped almost 3 months. I only made 28 oz if I pumped 10 times a day for 20 min sessions (every 2 hours); I also had one baby home so it was madness juggling that and running to the hospital to see the other baby. I think breast IS BEST but I also think it depends on each persons situation and honestly people shouldn't really judge. I gave it a lot of thought since I felt guilty; yes, maybe I should of tried meds to produce more milk(Reglan causes some bad side effects and you can only take it I think a month so that wouldn't have helped for too long and another med is not offered in the US which scared me I might get some weird med). Anyway, I think 80 days of breast milk was good and got them off to a good start. I get comments on why wouldn't I breast feed knowing they were preemies and then some women really understand that twins and having them early is tough, especially if they don't latch. eta: It did help to have local moms I know who have twins too in the NICU and gave it there best shot for a couple of months and had to give up due to similar issues. I love that us twin preemie moms support each other and understand!!!

Anyway, I wish women were more supportive to each other no matter the situation.

 

[Skippy123]

It's funny, in my peer group there is actually more of a negative attitude about not breastfeeding. Friends of ours had their first almost two years ago, and they chose for personal reasons not to bf. A lot of our mutual friends were very judgemental about their decision and even attempted to lecture the couple that they were making a bad choice for their son.

I am in this camp too. The area I live in has a lot of housewifes/non-working moms and they are all about exclusively breastfeeding. When I went to a playgroup, all the mommies were breastfeeding their babies, and talked about extending it as long as possible (1 year+). I felt like a bad mommy b/c I was the only one not breastfeeding. Oh well, people can judge away as I will take pumping and a non-colicky baby over breastfeeding and a miserable screaming child anyday.

DC, you are pumping, that is the same in my eyes as breastfeeding; it is mommas milk.

Laila619, I think it is great you are bfing that long or how ever long you want to go! I do think the bond is amazing! I so wanted that; I had the pillow, the lactation help etc just not the latcher. Great job!!!

 

[Puppmom]

I was surprised by this too. My own mother thinks breastfeeding is *weird* and referred to my milk as *gross*. She would often talk about how LONG my sister breastfed with a negative tone. At parties, when I would decline a drink, people would ask when I was going to stop nursing. If I was invited out and asked if it could be after bedtime so I could nurse N, I would get “Wow, you’re still doing that? I need my personal time.” Yada yada yada. When I would go to the Mother’s Room at work, some of the newer nursing mamas thought they should have priority over me because my son was almost a year old.

I have also had lots of support. DH was extremely supportive and talked me through the several times I considered quitting. MIL, who watched DS, was very considerate and did her best not to *waste* milk and would call me at day’s end to see how close I was so she could decide if she should give him a bottle or wait a little while for me. I had access to wonderful LCs through our delivering hospitals and one good friend who is an RN and nursed her 3 children.

I’ve had many friends who choose to formula feed either from the start or after trying to BF without success for one reason or another. I did find it difficult to walk the line between encouraging them while they were trying to BF and making them feel like they *should* BF.

I think it’s such a personal decision and getting to know your baby is such a wonderful time in life. If BFing makes a woman unhappy for whatever reason then I don’t see why it’s my place to judge her for giving her baby formula. I think so many women don’t get to enjoy the early months with their baby because they’re so hard on themselves about BFing or not. That is a shame.

One last thing, as someone who breastfed for 15 months (and was dang proud of myself!), my friends and associates for some reason feel the need to justify to me WHY they use formula. Hey, whatever floats your boat!

 

[Porridge]

This reminds me of a funny episode of Scrubs I was watching last night where Jordan is at the bar to celebrate giving birth. She orders from the waitress and the other girls go "she just had a baby, we're celebrating!" and the waitress gets all judgy and goes "you're drinking alcohol? Aren't you breastfeeding?" and Jordan goes (best response ever) "I haven't decided yet. Were you breastfed?" and the waitress said "Uh, of course" in a real bitchy tone and Jordan says something like "Hmm, and you're a thirty something skank who waits tables in a dingy bar...another vote for no breastfeeding!". Hahahahaha I love Jordan.

Aaaaanyway the point of all that was that it boggles my mind when people think it's ok to comment like it's their business. Seriously? Butt the hell out or I will spray you with my breastmilk until you go away.

 

[Laila619]

missy, thanks for your thoughts! Interesting that your sister breastfed for a long time but your mother never did. Was your mom supportive of her?

stephbolt, yeah, that's a shame that everyone judged that couple. I always think a mom should try, BUT if she doesn't want to, there's really nothing anyone can say, and it's rude to make her feel bad about it!

dcgator, aww, please don't feel like a bad mom at all sweetie! You're most definitely not.

Skippy, 80 days is a great job! Especially with what you had to deal with...pumping is so much hard work! You did an awesome job for your sweet little twins.

 

[Laila619]

I was surprised by this too. My own mother thinks breastfeeding is *weird* and referred to my milk as *gross*. She would often talk about how LONG my sister breastfed with a negative tone. At parties, when I would decline a drink, people would ask when I was going to stop nursing. If I was invited out and asked if it could be after bedtime so I could nurse N, I would get “Wow, you’re still doing that? I need my personal time.” Yada yada yada. When I would go to the Mother’s Room at work, some of the newer nursing mamas thought they should have priority over me because my son was almost a year old.

Puppmom, yes! These sort of things are what I experienced too. It's great that your MIL is so supportive. My own MIL thinks breastfeeding is weird, and is always making comments. She'll say things like "Oh, you're still doing that?" with a distasteful look. "Maybe you'll switch to formula now." So odd. Even my mother, who nursed me for nine months, keeps encouraging me to be done.

If people want to formula feed, I don't care. I've used it myself on occasion when DH and I go out on a date and the grandparents babysit DS.

It just seems that one should not make comments about a mom formula feeding, but people feel free to make comments about breastfeeding all the time, as though it's weird or gross. Oh well.

 

[Shoopy]

I have experienced the opposite. It seems that many equate breast feeding to being better and generally give more side glances at formula, when the child is young. Once the child is walking, it tends to switch.

I think in general the US isn't equipped to handle breast feeders. Very few places offer places to nurse. Many corporations don't gave issues with smokers taking a break but seem bothered with mothers taking a break to pump. You have no idea what I went through with my company. I felt forced to stop before I was truly ready to.

ETA- by better I mean you are viewed as a better mother.

 

[Puppmom]

Fiery, I see that side too which is why I think my formula-feeding friends feel the need to defend themselves straight-away. They've probably been criticized before.

...and yes to not being equipped (at least regionally) to handle BFing. I nursed DS for almost 15 months and did so *in public* (by that I mean feeling like I had to HIDE but I was in a public place) only a handful of times.

I think this just falls into the category where so many people think what others do is their business and that their opinion counts. You can't please everyone!

 

[Kunzite]

I'm happy to live in a pretty progressive area and BFing is considered the norm. That said, I know a lot of my family that isn't in this area is totally grossed out by the idea. I can't think of a single person in my family that was/is BF other than my LO. I've found that among the people I know they're either solidly in the BFing is gross or FFing is gross, there doesn't seem to be any neutral in-between, which is sad. I don't like when people think in absolutes like that. For the most part it's one of those things that seems to be passed down. I still remember when my niece was visiting me and I'd have to go pump, she would say, "Aunt Kunzite, why don't you just give Oliver formula?" in the most innocent voice like I'd missed the obvious.

There were a few times that I struggled with exclusively pumping and there were people who looked at me like I was crazy. They would say things like, just put that kid on formula already! Those sort of responses made me sad because I felt it was hard to respond. How do you respond and say that it's way too important to give up so easily without also implying that you think there is something wrong with formula. And why did I have to defend my choice in the first place? When someone is struggling they should be supported!

I do find it strange that it seems acceptable in our culture to criticize BFing.

dc - Don't even beat yourself up about pumping mama!! In my eyes you're doing double duty to get BM to your little one! Talk about dedication!!

 

[missy]

missy, thanks for your thoughts! Interesting that your sister breastfed for a long time but your mother never did. Was your mom supportive of her?

stephbolt, yeah, that's a shame that everyone judged that couple. I always think a mom should try, BUT if she doesn't want to, there's really nothing anyone can say, and it's rude to make her feel bad about it!

dcgator, aww, please don't feel like a bad mom at all sweetie! You're most definitely not.

Skippy, 80 days is a great job! Especially with what you had to deal with...pumping is so much hard work! You did an awesome job for your sweet little twins.

Thanks Laila for letting me participate- I have no kids so wasn't sure I should but sometimes outside perspective is interesting.

My sister breastfed her oldest for 14 months but only because she weaned herself off from it and she breastfed her youngest for 2 years.
Yes, my mom was very supportive of my sister and she defends not breastfeeding us by saying the medical professionals just didn't recommend it at that time. Not sure if that is true or not though LOL because she used to tell me she didn't want to breastfeed because she didn't want to become saggy. It was a different time in those days. She realizes how important it is now if you can do it.

My sister said that she did not receive any negative feedback from breastfeeding that long though because I just called and asked her.
(I know it was a pain for her to find time to pump when she was at work and she did it on her lunch.) She went back to work after 3-4 months I think but she continued breastfeeding when she was home and pumping so my parents could feed the babies when she was at work. She works 2 and a half days per week so it wasn't too bad.

 

[Puppmom]

DC - I just wanted to second what Kunzite said. Exclusively pumping requires such a high level of commitment to giving your child BM that even most BFing moms probably don't understand.

 

[basil]

I haven't encountered any negative attitudes but that's based on a few things. First, my son is only 3 months and it seems more socially acceptable to breastfeed a young infant rather than an older one. Secondly, my mom breastfed me and my brother for 11-12 months each, and my cousin has a 2 year old she breastfed for 18 months. So it's not abnormal in my family and hasn't been for years. Third, I'm an MD and I think that makes acquaintances and people at work less likely to question my decision, at least to my face.

Formula feeding is not the end of the world - I don't believe that silly La Leche league book which says that breastfeeding is the most important thing you can ever do for your child or some nonsense like that. Breastfeeding is nice cause it's cheap and hopefully helps my son get a few less colds and me lose a little weight. But formula fed babies do just fine too.

Skippy - I don't know how I would have done it in your situation. Pumping is so hard even for me right now. I can't imagine doing it so much, taking care of twins and preemies! You did great to give them what you could.

 

[Laila619]

DC - I just wanted to second what Kunzite said. Exclusively pumping requires such a high level of commitment to giving your child BM that even most BFing moms probably don't understand.

Absolutely! My hat is off to the ladies who EP. I think that's the hardest of all. You have to put in the commitment and drain on your body that BF requires, spend half your day attached to a machine, AND on top of that you have to deal with all the washing/preparing of bottles and pump parts. Pumpers deserve MAD props!!

 

[Lauren8211]

At least for the US, I find most people think you should breastfeed. HOWEVER, no one actually thinks we should support women to do this. We tell them "breast is best", we guilt them for using formula, and then we make them feel like perverts if they breastfeed in public or for what they consider to be "too long." Oh, and we provide them little to no time before they go back to work, no place to pump AT work, and shun them until they have to BF in a car or dirty bathroom.

So from my experience, women should magically be able to feed all of their babies, stop at the exact socially acceptable day, never do it in public (so don't leave your house!), and be ashamed if we can't manage to pull it off. Sometimes I'm convinced we hate the women in our country.

Sorry I'm a bit heated about breastfeeding today. I'm full term pregnant, and due to a shingles outbreak, I may not have the option to breastfeed, which breaks my heart. Fortunately, I know my baby will be happy and healthy regardless of whether or not I can feed him with my breast!

 

[mayerling]

Basil, since you mention being an MD, do you mind if I ask you a question about BFing? Are there medical advantages to BFing for longer? By this I don't mean BFing for one month vs. six, or something, but is it really advantageous to BF for over a year?

 

[Kunzite]

Basil, since you mention being an MD, do you mind if I ask you a question about BFing? Are there medical advantages to BFing for longer? By this I don't mean BFing for one month vs. six, or something, but is it really advantageous to BF for over a year?

I'm not Basil, but I remember Blen listed some information in this thread about EBF:

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/breastfeeding-beyond-12-months-and-working-outside-the-home.160636/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/breastfeeding-beyond-12-months-and-working-outside-the-home.160636/[/URL]

 

[phoenixgirl]

I feel like the short maternity leave and difficulty in pumping in the workplace, as Fiery described, must correspond to basic ideas about breastfeeding in the U.S., but things vary for sure. I have one group of "crunchier" friends where everybody cloth diapers, practices extended nursing, attempts med-free childbirth, etc. In those circles, BFing is definitely the norm. Then I've got more suburban friends where it's more a matter of choice and you're not surprised to see women doing either one. It definitely seems like a lot of our mothers don't get it because they thought formula was superior to breastmilk when they were giving birth.

I know all the facts and figures and all that, but personally, my aversion to formula came from my general approach to food. A powder in a box is viewed as suspicious - what's in there? Is it weird chemically stuff? Can it possibly be good for me? That's just how I feel about processed food in general. So the thought of giving my baby sustenance solely from a can for the first year of life creeped me out. But then as soon as DD was one year old and could go to cow's milk, I weaned her. I wasn't an extended BFer at heart, at least the first time around. I just didn't want to have to use formula (not because there's anything wrong with it - I know they wouldn't sell it if there was, and it's a true life-saver for many).

Trying to produce enough to EBF with the no breaks schedule of a high school teacher nearly did me in. I had to hang a shawl over a male coworker's cubicle (and kick him out so I could pump) just to have a place to do it, with other people coming and going around me. I was never a prolific pumper, and I couldn't night-wean my daughter or try to get her to STTN for fear that then I'd just have to pump even more during the day. Urgh, getting tired just thinking about it. Glad those days are over!

 

[mayerling]

Basil, since you mention being an MD, do you mind if I ask you a question about BFing? Are there medical advantages to BFing for longer? By this I don't mean BFing for one month vs. six, or something, but is it really advantageous to BF for over a year?

I'm not Basil, but I remember Blen listed some information in this thread about EBF:

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/breastfeeding-beyond-12-months-and-working-outside-the-home.160636/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/breastfeeding-beyond-12-months-and-working-outside-the-home.160636/[/URL]

Thanks, Kunzite. That post doesn't seem to explain why BFing is beneficial past the first year, though. Other than the reduction of breast cancer risk, it doesn't really say why it's good for the baby. It just says it's recommended.

 

[Laila619]

mayerling,

Check this link out, it's from kellymom and has a ton of great info:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

Here are some highlights:

•The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that children weaned before two years of age are at increased risk of illness (AAFP 2001).
•Nursing toddlers between the ages of 16 and 30 months have been found to have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration than their non-nursing peers (Gulick 1986).
•"Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation" (Nutrition During Lactation 1991; p. 134). In fact, some of the immune factors in breastmilk increase in concentration during the second year and also during the weaning process. (Goldman 1983, Goldman & Goldblum 1983, Institute of Medicine 1991).
•Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.
•"Human milk expressed by mothers who have been lactating for >1 year has significantly increased fat and energy contents, compared with milk expressed by women who have been lactating for shorter periods. During prolonged lactation, the fat energy contribution of breast milk to the infant diet might be significant."-- Mandel 2005

Extended nursing is not for everyone and it's a huge commitment, but if you can do it, there are some benefits.

 

[Laila619]

At least for the US, I find most people think you should breastfeed. HOWEVER, no one actually thinks we should support women to do this. We tell them "breast is best", we guilt them for using formula, and then we make them feel like perverts if they breastfeed in public or for what they consider to be "too long." Oh, and we provide them little to no time before they go back to work, no place to pump AT work, and shun them until they have to BF in a car or dirty bathroom.

So from my experience, women should magically be able to feed all of their babies, stop at the exact socially acceptable day, never do it in public (so don't leave your house!), and be ashamed if we can't manage to pull it off. Sometimes I'm convinced we hate the women in our country.

Sorry I'm a bit heated about breastfeeding today. I'm full term pregnant, and due to a shingles outbreak, I may not have the option to breastfeed, which breaks my heart. Fortunately, I know my baby will be happy and healthy regardless of whether or not I can feed him with my breast!

Yes, this is all too true.

Sorry about the shingles, elle.

 

[Jennifer W]

I was about to write about the attitudes where I live, but to be honest, I have no idea what the prevailing attitude it. I just do not care. I breastfed until my daughter decided to stop, at 15 months. I fed her wherever and whenever she needed to be fed, in Church, at law school, in Parliament, in stores, restaurants and all sorts of places in between. If you read that and felt your hackles raise, shame on you. I'm not saying you should do it, but I am saying there is no place on earth where it is inappropriate to feed a baby. From breasts. Nothing written, said or implied will make me see that differently, either. (The law says so too, in Scotland.)

 

[Skippy123]

At least for the US, I find most people think you should breastfeed. HOWEVER, no one actually thinks we should support women to do this. We tell them "breast is best", we guilt them for using formula, and then we make them feel like perverts if they breastfeed in public or for what they consider to be "too long." Oh, and we provide them little to no time before they go back to work, no place to pump AT work, and shun them until they have to BF in a car or dirty bathroom.

So from my experience, women should magically be able to feed all of their babies, stop at the exact socially acceptable day, never do it in public (so don't leave your house!), and be ashamed if we can't manage to pull it off. Sometimes I'm convinced we hate the women in our country.

Sorry I'm a bit heated about breastfeeding today. I'm full term pregnant, and due to a shingles outbreak, I may not have the option to breastfeed, which breaks my heart. Fortunately, I know my baby will be happy and healthy regardless of whether or not I can feed him with my breast!

Yes, this is all too true.

Sorry about the shingles, elle.

I am shaking my head yes Elledizzy this is so true every single word of it!!! I had a lactation consultant work with me every single day for free but they don't provide this for new moms and I think they should!!! I am sorry about the shingles.

Also I am sleep deprived and I lied, I said the babies didn't latch. Yes, one didn't latch but the other would fall asleep at the boob all the time so almost the same as not latching! I completely forgot so I didn't want to leave that misinformation there. lol

thanks Laila619. I think this is a good topic to talk about.

 

[Pandora II]

I am still breastfeeding my daughter and she turns 2 and a half next week. Shows zero interest in being weaned - I on the other hand am getting to the point where I feel done or at least would like to cut down to evening and morning feeds max! I have a friend whose also still feeding her 3 year-old and worked out the other day that she has now been continuously breastfeeding for over EIGHT years! Our friends joke that we will be starring in documentaries before too long.

I come from a family where all my relatives breast-fed very openly and where extended feeding was the norm. My MIL didn't, but her step-daughter fed her daughter till she was nearly 4 and only stopped because she had to due to a medication. Two of my SIL's and DH's step-sister breast-feed (at times there used to be 3 of us in a row on the sofa at xmas all feeding our kids!)

I will happily feed anywhere, anytime and quite openly - buses, trains, planes, walking round the supermarket (in a sling), on the benches during a Council Assembly (I was an elected member), in Parliament, restaurants, 100 metres underground in a cave, basically if she needs feeding I'll whip the boobs out. And legally I am entitled to.

It's free, there's no need for sterilising or heating, you don't have to get out of bed at night - or even wake up if you are co-sleeping, it knocks the baby weight off like nothing else, protects against breast-cancer and when you get stuck on London Underground for 4 hours there are no issues with the baby going hungry as it's available on-tap!

I didn't give up alcohol either except at the very beginning - so little comes out in the breast milk and I was never having more than a small glass of wine.

I've received so many positive comments from people of all ages and both genders, the one negative comment (other than my SIL) was from a 42 year-old American girl who told me that it was 'disgusting' - the 50 year-old guy I was sitting with told her that the words 'disgusting' and 'breastfeeding' didn't belong in the same sentence and his sisters had fed their kids till they were 3.

In the West we wean extremely early compared with other countries and much earlier than the evolutionary ideal.

At the beginning I had to give Daisy formula as I literally had no milk (severe anaemia, severe bloodloss and opiates can have a very negative effect) and did mixed feeding till 6 weeks when my milk came in properly.

I do think that breast is best and there are many studies that prove this, but formula isn't poison and if the mother is miserable breastfeeding then better a happy FF mother and baby than misery trying to EBF.

I try to warn women that the first 3 weeks can (and usually are) really tough and no matter how good the latch, it hurts like crazy to begin with. I try to encourage them to give it 6 weeks and if they still hate it then to call it quits.

I was lucky that after the early stage I loved breastfeeding - the oxytocin high was a bit addictive and DH used to laugh to find me and Daisy in bed, her milk-drunk and me smiling away as if I'd had one glass of wine too many!

Sometimes I think it a bit strange that some people don't even want to try (and crazy when the partner doesn't want them to because the breasts are 'his' ) unless there is a valid medical reason for it. I understand it more if you are in the USA with seriously crap maternity leave, but in the UK with a year's leave there is every incentive to give it a go. But if that is their choice then that's fine.

The only thing that ever makes me roll my eyes are people like my brother's wife. She gave up breastfeeding after 5 days and told everyone that she couldn't... 'couldn't' turned out to be a combination of 'my boobs got bigger and hurt' and 'I don't want to do all the feeding'. Fine, so move to formula and that's no problem, but to endlessly bitch at me about how you can't understand why I'm still breastfeeding, tell me that there are no benefits to breast-feeding - even though your kid is endlessly ill and on antibiotics and mine has had 3 colds and one fever in over 2 years - and then to tell me (who struggled massively at the beginning) that you had no milk when you could have fed half of Africa just annoys the heck out of me!

Anyway, OP - just quote some of the stuff from Kellymom, or tell them that the WHO recommends 2 years minimum and then for as long as both parties want.

 

[Laila619]

It's free, there's no need for sterilising or heating, you don't have to get out of bed at night - or even wake up if you are co-sleeping, it knocks the baby weight off like nothing else, protects against breast-cancer and when you get stuck on London Underground for 4 hours there are no issues with the baby going hungry as it's available on-tap!

Agreed with all of these--the convenience is awesome, except I think nursing is making me gain weight since I'm always hungry all the time!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

My sob story on why I couldn't breastfed and instead EP'd for almost 12 months is somewhere in a thread here. I think the prevailing attitude in DC definitely makes breastfeeding the norm, but obviously there will always be many women who can't or choose not to bf. In fact, the negative attitude towards formula here makes many EPers choose to feed their babies from Medela bottles so everyone will know that it's breastmilk in a bottle and not formula.

I think there are a lot of reasons women don't try to breastfeed or don't do it for very long- mostly b/c maternity leave here, as mentioned, is pretty short. Many women either get a very short leave (or no paid leave at all, which was my situation- the federal government does not pay for maternity leave, despite what many people think), or they choose to not take a long leave. Obviously DC is teeming with lawyers and I know some women feel that their firms' expectation is that they take a short leave, despite the fact that they legally are entitled to more.

And once you return to work, pumping can be a major pain for many women. And while nursing directly can be free, pumping certainly is not- as many EPers know, the costs can add up big time- purchase or rental of pumps, bottles, pump parts b/c they wear out after time, storage bags, etc. Also, lactation services aren't free, at least they weren't for me. My insurance didn't pay for any other than what the hospital provided while I was staying there. Thanks to my nursing woes, I was desperate to see an LC, but hauling it to my hospital, which was 45 mins way, exhausted and still recovering from delivery, and not only bringing the baby but also my very jealous daughter just wasn't happening. Fortunately we had the resources to pay for a VERY expensive LC home visit, but not everyone has that available. I think the home visit was several hundred dollars.