Need tips on how to deal with a very stubborn man!

[nycbkgirl]

Sorry I found my typo...."when MEN are in pain..."

 

[Courtneylub]

Earplugs and those snore strips are my next purchase.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Everyone who has someone who snores very badly, PLEASE read this:

This was an issue with my Dad for many many years. VERY loudly. My Mom couldn't take it anymore and sent him to go find out just what was wrong with him. Your FI should really go get tested for sleep apnea. Turns out my Dad has it. He was able to bring a sleep monitor home on 2 occasions while it tested his sleeping patern. After getting the results, we have come to find that he would literally stop breathing for more than a minute at a time which then causes the snoring because of the air passages being completely closed off. You could literally DIE from sleep apnea if not treated. He now has a machine that he uses every night and it helps him breathe better. He no longer snores.

Also, the majority of the time, the surgeries people have to prevent snoring doesn't work. PLEASE, have him go get tested for sleep apnea. It is very serious......

 

[Rhea]

Date: 12/16/2008 5:44:16 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Everyone who has someone who snores very badly, PLEASE read this:


This was an issue with my Dad for many many years. VERY loudly. My Mom couldn''t take it anymore and sent him to go find out just what was wrong with him. Your FI should really go get tested for sleep apnea. Turns out my Dad has it. He was able to bring a sleep monitor home on 2 occasions while it tested his sleeping patern. After getting the results, we have come to find that he would literally stop breathing for more than a minute at a time which then causes the snoring because of the air passages being completely closed off. You could literally DIE from sleep apnea if not treated. He now has a machine that he uses every night and it helps him breathe better. He no longer snores.


Also, the majority of the time, the surgeries people have to prevent snoring doesn''t work. PLEASE, have him go get tested for sleep apnea. It is very serious......

Good post! My daddy has a machine and has been to a sleep clinic too. They are wonderful things. I have no idea if he has sleep apnea, but something was wrong enough that he now has a machine he uses everynight. Thank you for this post reminding us what a serious issue snoring can be.

 

[icekid]

fiery- This is SERIOUS business! Your FI needs to see a doctor, as soon as possible. It sounds like he very likely has sleep apnea, which is a lot more serious than it sounds.

As a couple others have mentioned, stopping breathing in the middle of the night is NOT GOOD. This is a very active research area currently, but it is believed that sleep apnea leads to hypertension, heart disease, metabolic syndrome. Not to mention it will also lead to him not sleeping well, thus probably decreasing his function at work, and could very well also make him fall asleep at inappropriate times (driving!).

If he has sleep apnea diagnosed by a sleep study, they will prescribe him a CPAP which provides pressure to keep his airway open. Most people find this quite uncomfortable at first, but make him wear it!

 

[fieryred33143]

I wish I could just tell him to go and he''ll actually go. For some reason he''s so sensitive about it. I mentioned it to him again today and he said "I''m not going to pay for a doctor to tell me I need to lose weight." First of all, we don''t pay. And as I said before I think its much deeper than just his weight. Where he grew up (Santiago, Chile) they don''t do doctors. Every time he is sick, he goes after home remedies. He rather be sick for weeks than take one sip of nyquil. If he has a headache, he drinks lots of water not tylenol. I can respect that I really can because I know there are a lot of people who don''t believe in taking pills. But I also think that when its something serious, you can''t do it alone.

And I''m also extremely sensitive about it because my father passed away so young (36). He felt so sick for so long and refused to go to the doctor until he couldn''t move anymore. They found cancer, tried chemo, couldn''t do anything, and three years later he passed away.

My next approach is to nag until he finally goes to shut me up. Either that or I''m seriously considering scheduling the appointments and tricking him into going. I might just tell him that the appointment is for me and trick him to go. Oh man he would be so mad LOL I think I''m going to do it

 

[Rhea]

Does he bet with you? If he goes to the doctor, tells the entire story, and they don''t find anything wrong with him then cook him dinner for the entire week or whatever he wants. We do this a fair amount. It''s fun and it works because we''re both so drawn into proving that we''re right and getting to rub the other person''s face in it while they make coffee and cupcakes.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Ask that a dr. appt for him be your only gift this Christmas. That''s the ONLY thing you want. Seriously, I think he just has to realize that he is way to important to you and he needs to take it seriously. Don''t give up!

So sorry to hear about his probable sleep apnea. My father is a very loud snorer and after many years(!) of subtle pushing by my mother, he finally went. He doesn''t have sleep apnea, just irregular nasal passages due to an old injury, but at least he knows, you know?

Good luck! I really hope he decides to go!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Well, you really need to convince him SOMEHOW. My Mom told my Dad if he didn''t do anything about it...that she would leave him! lol (she wasn''t serious at all but he thought she was

) The nagging she did never did anything. He would always just laugh when she told him about his snoring. She wasn''t getting ANY sleep at all. Eventually when she told him that he did something about it. We were all amazed that his breathing would stop for long periods of time. It is so serious. He could have died from it for sure. And it only does get worse as the years go by.....Even if you do have to trick him into it. It seems like people who snore don''t want to admit it lol

 

[diane5006]

Hi I have not read all of the post completely

snoring can be a sign of sleep apnea (the stopping breathing) while it is not always related to weight...weight is usally a factor...

Sleep apnea can cause significant medical problems...including high blood pressure...and decreased oxygen deliverey to the body

I just got my husband to the doctor...I made the appointment...and the doctor ordered the sleep study right away...when he had it done...they didn''t even get past the first hour before they switched over to the cpap...he was breathing that badly

He has the cpap now...and the machine is basically silent...and so is my husband...the first night...it was almost too quiet

My husband needs to lose weight too...

He did get some help with the nose strips

Overall it is not about weight...it is about breathing...

Hopefully getting better overall sleep...will lead to improved lifestyle....

Best of luck

 

[diane5006]

This is from www.sleepapnea.org

"Untreated, sleep apnea can cause high blood pressure and other cardiovascular disease, memory problems, weight gain, impotency, and headaches. Moreover, untreated sleep apnea may be responsible for job impairment and motor vehicle crashes. Fortunately, sleep apnea can be diagnosed and treated. Several treatment options exist, and research into additional options continues."

interesting

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 12/18/2008 6:26:36 PM
Author: diane5006
snoring can be a sign of sleep apnea (the stopping breathing) while it is not always related to weight...weight is usally a factor...

True but not always the case. My dad is nowhere near overweight and he has sleep apnea....

 

[diane5006]

I agree...I did say "while it is not always related to weight"...I suspect I could have worded the next phrase better...when I said "usually"...I meant not everybody

not all heavy people have sleep apnea...and you don''t have to be heavy to have it

Chronic snoring should be investigated...to rule out any condition(s) that might be causing harm

 

[diamondringlover]

My husband has sleep apena and wears a cpap, I know a women who''s son did DIE from sleep apena, he didnt wake up, he was 35 years old, this is serious stuff and I really hope anyone who snores loudly should be checked out!

 

[firebirdgold]

It took my Dh's ears bleeding on a regular basis from the foam earplugs before I went to the sleep center.

During the sleep study I stopped breathing 178 times in four hours, and DH never noticed me not breathing at night. I can only imagine how bad it is for your husband if you notice he stops breathing!

We also had the arguments because I too snored while I was awake but relaxed. Apparently we can't hear ourselves, our brains tune it out. It was so awful, I'd try so hard to stay awake so he could fall asleep first and then to be told I was snoring anyway was horrible!

I've been snoring since I was three! It's not something only overweight people do. Although there is a connection. People's sleep apnea gets worse when they're heavier, and it's harder to lose weight with sleep apnea. So it can be a vicious cycle, really.

I have a cpap machine now, and it's made a HUGE difference. I don't snore anymore. We both feel so much more rested. And our relationship is better as well. Amazing what a difference it can make when you're not being either a) kept awake by your snoring spouse all night, or b) being kicked repeatedly in the middle of the night by an irate spouse.

It made such a difference in our lives that it convinced my FIL to go into a sleep clinic and now he has a cpap machine. Both he and MIL are much happier!


So PLEASE!!! get your DH into a sleep clinic pronto!

 

[karasue91]

fiery, just wanted to see if you got your DH to go to the doctor? i have the same problem with mine, we got in another fight about it this week, and it pisses me off when he tells me to wear earplugs while not doing ANYTHING to try to fix the problem. if i had a physical problem that could possibly be fixed by a trip to the doctor and caused him to lose sleep, i would make an appointment for the next day.

also, does anyone know if snoring can be exacerbated by smoking? DH smokes and is a bit overweight, but he''s planning to stop smoking so that''s anotherr argument he makes, that when he stops smoking it will be better so why should he bother going to the doctor? ugh.