My Life Changes Tomorrow...

[Rockdiamond]

Wow- I'm deeply moved. Thank you for what you're doing

sledge

Definitely picked up my day too!

 

[cmd2014]

I'm excited for you. I'm sure there will be some trials and tribulations ahead, but I hope that the good that this brings into your life and hers outweighs any challenges along the way.

 

[Austina]

You’re doing a great thing, I hope it all works out for you.

 

[MarionC]

You guys are amazing human beings. Wishing you all the best as this new family is created!

 

[strawrose]

So I may have hinted at this in a few other threads, but Saturday is a life changing event for me.

Me and my fiancee will become legal guardians to a 14 year old girl. For now we will call her J. After we are married, our plan is to legally adopt her. This wasn't something we were seeking out to do. My fiancee specializes in family & children trauma so has resources & knowledge with these types of situations.

While we were visiting Houston a few weekends ago, my fiancee got a call asking for help in finding J a new home. We know J and her 2 siblings and our hearts were broken to hear of the news as these are all good kids. While we were not asked to intervene in the situation, but rather just provide some resources, we talked it over and decided that we would like to help J if she was open to the idea. The other 2 siblings have permanent homes and will not be joining us.

We had some conversations with J and her temporary guardians and everyone is agreeable to the situation. Since this is not a foster situation there appears to be less red tape, although we are seeking legal counsel to ensure things are up to snuff.

With that said, we head out tomorrow for a Christmas cabin vacation and on our way out we pick up J. I'm super excited, nervous and scared all at the same time. I can only imagine she must be feeling the same, or worse.

Never done this so wish me luck.

It is always heartwarming to hear these stories. The road may be tough, but you are changing a life for the better.

 

[tyty333]

Good luck Sledge! You sound very logical and even-tempered...I'm sure you'll be a great Dad!

 

[AGBF]

I wish you luck. Perhaps I should add that I am currently having a very hard time with my own daughter, this morning has been very hard, and prayer may be better than luck. I, also, will send up a prayer for you wonderful people.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[LLJsmom]

God bless you and your wife and J. I am speechless. Sending you love and hope and best wishes. I really hope that you will come back with updates.

 

[sledge]

Thank you PS family, as always you rock! We greatly appreciate your kind words, thoughts and prayers. They mean a lot to all of us!

So far things have went very well. We were doing some last minute shopping for J before we picked her up and apparently she was anxious for us to arrive. When we got there she literally had all her stuff on the porch ready to go. She looked heartbroken when the current guardians advised her we may not be able to fit everything this trip and we could get the rest on the way back from the cabin. Challenge accepted! The SUV is packed but it's all there.

It was about a 4 hour drive so we had a little time to talk and just be silly, which is what we did. Played YouTube music videos where we took turns selecting our own songs. Small miracles as she has decent music tastes and even liked some of my stuff. No Justin Bieber garbage here, lol.

Towards the end of the road trip, I got a message from the natural mom wanting to talk with her. We had already had a talk about how she's had a few different homes but we were tough and strong and would love her and make this her permanent home as long as she wanted that. I knew natural mom had kept in contact and caused some issues in the past. I was straight with J and advised her mom wanted to talk, I understood the relationship was strained and I was her personal bodyguard that would always protect and defend her. And furthermore, she could now decide when and at what level she wanted to communicate with her natural mom and I would have her back regardless of the answer. She said she was tired and would call tomorrow (now today). I advised natural mom as such.

Thus far she's still asleep so we will see how that goes.

Oh yeah, went to dinner and this little bean pole orders a half rack of ribs, wants some fried mushrooms, etc. Dinner shows up and she takes off her white jacket and tells me things might get messy, lol. No issues but she is a little clean freak and had to excuse herself to bathroom to wash up after dinner.

Almost forgot, fiancee has now got her to tease me with a saying when my seat belt chime goes off. Way before J, fiancee came up with, "Ching ching daddy" in a really bad Chinese accent as the chime does a "ding ding" noise. Silly I know but I hate wearing seatbelts and my fiancee is a rule follower to the tee. This little thing has made us giggle for quite some time and I immediately put on the seat belt. On the way back to the cabin, out of the clear blue I hear this from J (solo) from the backseat. We all busted out laughing.

Probably more details than you needed. But just wanted to say it was going well and one day in and no hurt kid, lots of laughs and a happiness that is different than I've felt before. We will see what day two brings, lol.

 

[Karl_K]

Awesome!!!!! Sounds like things are off to a good start!

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

 you seem to be a wonderful person and clearly have a natural talent with kids. It's truly heartwarming to know that you are giving this girl a home. Happy holidays!!!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Aw Sledge, you remind me of all there is good in this world. Thank you, much luck, and biggest hugs to all three of you!

 

[yssie]

You and your fiancée are generous, beautiful people @sledge! Inside and out.

I wish you and your new loved ones the best of everything on this journey!!

 

[LJsapphire]

How wonderful! I wish you all happiness

 

[Matata]

this little bean pole orders a half rack of ribs, wants some fried mushrooms, etc.

No issues but she is a little clean freak and had to excuse herself to bathroom to wash up after dinner.

Happy to hear that the first couple days are going well. I know ribs are messy to eat but keep an eye on the "beanpole" to ensure she doesn't have an eating disorder, OCD, et al.

 

[Bron357]

How wonderful for you.
Once your daughter (wow) settles in expect a bit of drama from time to time - totally normal and healthy - in fact I’d be more concerned if she stays too meek and mild!
You win, hands down, “who got the best Christmas present”

 

[arkieb1]

I wish all three of you the best, what a wonderful Christmas gift you have given the young lady, as a former teacher, children need love, reassurance and stability, I hope you bring joy to each others lives for many years to come.

 

[KristinTech]

It is SO awesome that she will have stability and JOY this holiday season. It sounds like your wife is experienced with working with trauma survivors. It will be a crazy ride. Your teen will teach you so much. So much you never knew you were supposed to learn.

I wish you guys peace and joy, and grace! This time will be seared in your brains.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Sounds like a wonderful start to a great adventure! Best wishes to all of you!

 

[AprilBaby]

This is the best Christmas present ever for all three of you! Blessings to you all for a happy new life!

 

[luv2sparkle]

How great, Sledge! Nothing is better than loving someone, especially a kid that needs it. I hope it will be a wonderful, life changing thing for all of you. I was just telling one of my kids that at the end of your life its all about the people you love who love you back. It doesn't get better than that. Congratulations!

 

[sledge]

Day two and and my daughter (still wow) is still alive! LOL

Yesterday was awesome. She was worn out and slept until about 10:30 or so. Did some shopping, went ziplining, got in some swimming, taught her how to play billiards (8 ball), took her to a steakhouse (yup, still a good appetite and no excusing to the bathroom, as I was paying attention -- thank you ), took them for ice cream at a Cold Slab and ended the night playing a vicious game of Uno.

Ching ching daddy is part of regular routine. The crap talking was plentiful during the game of Uno from her and one of my fiancee's best friends and also her (the friends) 7 year old. The friends husband and I were easy targets apparently. FYI, the 7 year old has renamed me McFarty Princess. And I introduced him to the term and reality of a titty twister, lol.

Natural mom tried to start drama. She isn't happy J doesn't want to talk with her and that we are allowing J to make those decisions and calls on J's comfort level and timing. Of course we shielded J from the drama and details but I diplomatically readvised mom how the new rules were and that I would be happy to provide her updates but I was not forcing J to talk until she was ready. I'm sure it's not over yet but it has subsided for 18 hours or so. I expected these type of battles so I was prepared.

To end on some good news, we asked J how she wanted us to introduce her to people. She looked at us weird and said "as your daughter". We smiled and said we considered her that but wanted to make sure she was okay with it and didn't want to put her on the spot in front of people.

Also she came up last night and gave me a hug and cuddled a little bit. I'm not surprised by much but that was a good one and I took a moment to enjoy that little gift.

 

[Ally T]

@sledge I have the biggest smile on my face & tears in my eyes reading these updates. I know you are a complete stranger, but I am so proud of you for taking this huge challenge on head first, and not only that, acing at it. There will be bumps in the road, absolutely there will be, but you have instantly made her feel so incredibly comfortable, loved & safe. She will take this & respect you forever

Wishing you all, as a family of 3, a very Merry Christmas & Best Wishes for the New Year, from all the way over here in the UK. Big hugs, Daddy!

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

@sledge I have the biggest smile on my face & tears in my eyes reading these updates. I know you are a complete stranger, but I am so proud of you for taking this huge challenge on head first, and not only that, acing at it. There will be bumps in the road, absolutely there will be, but you have instantly made her feel so incredibly comfortable, loved & safe. She will take this & respect you forever

Wishing you all, as a family of 3, a very Merry Christmas & Best Wishes for the New Year, from all the way over here in the UK. Big hugs, Daddy!

I can't say it better than @Alex T. All the best to your family @sledge

 

[Bonfire]

Merry Christmas Ching Ching Daddy!

 

[Ellen]

Your update is truly heart warming! Sounds like prayers are indeed being answered.

Praying things continue on the same track. Have a blessed Christmas sledge.

 

[bmfang]

Reading these updates from you @sledge is making me wish my toddler was a little older so that I can actually converse with him more like an adult, until I realise that these years with him will go by so quickly and then I’ll be where you are at now with someone J’s age.

Sounds like the three of you are having a cracking time settling in as a new family. My continued prayers for the three of you and that natural mom doesn’t become a pain in the ass more.

 

[ccuheartnurse]

Wow Sledge, you & you fiancé have incredibly huge selfless hearts. Congratulations to all 3 of you for becoming a family. Merry Christmas to all.

 

[jeweln]

Sledge
My eyes teared up when I read your post . You & your fiance are brave and have a big heart . May your life be happy & blessed . please read about dealing with teens .J must be grateful & happy to be with you but at the same time she is a teenager going through lots of changes .
(dealing with a 17 year old son myself these days ) .

 

[yennyfire]

Aw Sledge, you remind me of all there is good in this world. Thank you, much luck, and biggest hugs to all three of you!

This. Sending hugs and prayers for a continued smooth transition!