whitby_2773
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2009
- Messages
- 2,655
Date: 4/21/2009 7:08:54 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
Bee - I totally agree that the other extreme is no good either - the more parents can promote a healthy attitude it seems, the better off kids are. One thing my mom did which was great was she always made me lots of fresh veggies, and my dad was really into fresh fruit, so between the two of them I developed good habits as far as produce was concerned
hi bee and ambergretchen
the thing that always bugs me with parents and food and ISSUES - is that it''s rarely an issue for the child! children, especially up to a certain age, have no say over what they eat. oh - they might complain, whinge, want something different...but in the final analysis, they get what they''re given. if they''re fed well, given a role model of exercise, and then basically left alone, the VAST majority of the time, they turn out just fine! they dont need a lot of commentary; the comentary never helps. it''s ridiculous to say to a 10 year old "approach your nutrition and exercise routine differently so you can achieve an excellent quality of life, longevity, satisfaction with your appearance and a fulfilling romantic and sexual relationship." these things are ADULT issues - and need to be addressed by adults. kids needs the "here - eat this...and now we''re all going for a bike ride and i dont care if you complain, it''s what we, as a family DO" approach. no commentary - just DOING.
as for the ''lose 5 lbs and you''ll look even cuter'' comment - that just makes me want to slap somebody (otherwise known as ''hands on psychology''. ok - just kidding..but gees...!) it almost NEVER works as incentive to try to drive someone away from a position. you virtually always need the ''carrot and the stick'' combo, but with little kids, heavy on the carrot, veeeeeeery light on the stick. and the stick needs to make sense. and it should NEVER be a stick a parent holds over a child''s self esteem. ever. the implication of ''you''d look even cuter'' is NOT saying ''look how great you could be''. what it''s REALLY saying is ''hmmm - you dont quiiiiite make the grade now...maybe try a little harder - oh - and by the way - i dont fully approve of you the way you are.'' that''s a stick. a big one. a carrot would be "you look fabulous!" period. no provisos, not reservations. and you know what, AmgerGretchen? i''ll bet you did look absolutely fabulous. i applaud your parents for feeding you a healthy diet. but they really do/did need a looooot of help on how to deal with their own insecurities which they tried to pass on to you. i''m sorry about that, AG, you''re proabbly as gorgeous as.
and bee - in my experience parents who ''love with food'' have all sorts of issues of their own. often they struggle to be liked, often they have food issues of their own (were your parents overweight?), often they''re giving all they feel they have to give, often they''re trying to set up a culture of permissiveness with food - like - food is the big treat - get what you can as soon as you can get it! and yet bee - if your avatar is anything to go by, you''ve worked out the food thing and are a very pretty sweet young thing! good for you and well done!
isnt it incredible what a difficult issue just EATING is??
and by the way - i''ve meant ot say for ages - AmberGretchen - i LOVE your ring!! i love green and your ring looks so fresh and beautiful. gorgeous!