My daughter is switching political party after she ..

[VRBeauty]

I thought this run a bell, you posted another food stamp scam earlier, with lobsters

I posted this story on PS a few years ago...

I was in line at an Asian market waiting to pay for my stuff. This guy walks up to the cashier and asked "do you take food stamp for live lobsters .. " LOBSTERS??? Wednesday, Thurs, Friday... you are on food stamps and having lobsters for dinner on taxpayer's money?... This kind of BS happens all the time at Asian grocery stores. I saw this lady buy (5) $100 can of abalone like it was Campbell soup.. I even heard her saying ...I will receive more food stamps in the mail tomorrow.

Well DF must've dreamed that one, because "food stamps" haven't been sent in the mail in years. The credit is deposited to an account electronically.

Is the type of dreams you dream heredetary...?

 

[Matata]

Let's say that she gets $150/mon in food stamps. She spent that entirety on 2 cans of food. Do you know if she has kids? No. Do you know if her mother is sick and dying, and this was her favourite food, and her daughter wants to give her a wonderful last meal? No. As far as I'm concerned, she is not using them illegally (selling for booze, cigs, etc), she is not using more than what she was given (because she paid entirely with food stamps as per the OP), then why is it such a big deal?

People who engage in that type of judgment believe that better choices should be made because they have stereotyped views of people who are on public assistance as those lacking education, having too many kids, being lazy and unmotivated, taking advantage of the system and it's especially touchy because the judgers' tax dollars are funding the program and if it takes village, so to speak, then everyone gets a vote on what everyone else should do. On a daily basis we build an entire puzzle about someone from just one tiny piece of interaction. It's a huge factor in why we can't all get along.

 

[AGBF]

Deb I don't think this is true re not having homeless people living in the streets in the 1950s. Cannot research it now because I'm out and on my phone but a quick link. Didn't get to read it fully so not sure if it makes my point but I believe it shows homelessness was a problem throughout all time.

I forget how young some of you are. I lived through it. There were no homeless people on the city streets when I was growing up. When I studied undergraduate history-before I ever thought about becoming a social worker-in the 1970's at NYU I studied the Progressive Era in the United States. I learned about Jacob Riis and his book of photographs of the poor immigrants coming to The Lower East Side in New York City and living in poverty. I remember the huge contrast between the way the people in pictures lived and the way people lived when I lived in the same general area. Homelessness was yet to come, missy. It was to come after the Vietnam War ended after the movement to deinstitutionalize psychiatric patients (with no money put into housing them). Some of you don't know any other way of life, but we older people do. And we don't have to go look anything up. It is horribly, horribly sad that the collective memory of our society is so dreadful that even educated people like you cannot believe that there was a time-a recent time-when we had no homeless.* (When I say
"no" homeless, I mean so few that they were statistically meaningless.)

*When I say "homeless" here I mean actually living on the street. In reality, many other people are homeless. They may be moving from one temporary shelter to another.

 

[the_mother_thing]

We have the absolute right (and duty) to question how our government spends our tax dollars on things like roads, military, the latest GAO boondoggle, and a bunch of other things. And people here are even questioning how corporations spend THEIR money. Why would we NOT have the right to also question the legitimacy, purpose and use (or abuse) of a public assistance program paid for with those same tax dollars? What, so someone's feelings aren't hurt? Newsflash - if you didn't want side eye for how you spend your food stamps, don't buy shit that EARNS you some side eye. NO ONE needs a $75 can of tuna! And the only person who has a RIGHT to it is someone who doesn't rely on others or public assistance to buy it. Sorry, not sorry!

It matters not to me if it's a government employee staying at a $300/nt hotel when there is a perfectly good $100/nt hotel in town, or someone who is abusing welfare benefits to buy $75 cans of tuna (instead of buying multiple heads of lettuce, packages of meat, bags of fozen vegetables, bulk eggs, etc.) Abuse is abuse - PERIOD. And I'm not going to be made to feel bad with "oh, her mother might have been dying and it's her last meal" hypothetical nonsense, and I really refuse to feel bad because I own a nice home that I worked darn hard for ... as a single mother ... without money from anyone to do it! And I'm not anyone special ... I just used my brain.

And before someone comes at me with some "well not everyone was born with a Tiffany silver spoon in their mouth" nonsense, just know that I wasn't either! My mother relied on food stamps when I was young, and she ONLY stayed on it until she got a job (not a high paying job with big benefits either; just slightly above minimum wage). And even then, we still ate a lot of the same spaghetti, PB&J sandwiches, canned veggies, eggs, and God-awful liver as when we were on assistance. Ya know what we didn't eat? $75 cans of freakin' tuna! Ya know what else - I learned from that experience ... that if I didn't want to be in that same boat, I needed to make better choices in my life - as a teen and as an adult, so I did, and I feel ZERO guilt for it!

And don't even get me started with this 'wealth redistribution' nonsense. How do you go from being all "don't judge the poor" to saying "those rich people don't need all that money" in the same breath? It's pretty darn judgy & hypocritical! You have no better idea what that rich person did to EARN their money any better than you do if the tuna can girl's mother was on her deathbed. To tell someone (who used their savings, double mortgaged their home if they had one, spent countless hours away from their family, taking ALL the risk to create something that gives others jobs) that they needed to give me their money ... just because they have "too much" by my standards and I don't like flipping burgers or whatevs ... really? I would hope that person would knock my block off and hopefully bring me back to my senses.

EVERYONE has & makes choices in life, and with those choices come good & bad consequences. You have the right to life, liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness (meaning go find/make your OWN happiness); not for that 'happiness' to be served up to you at others' expense. The only caveat there IMO being IF someone is truly incapable of caring/providing for themselves (children, handicapped/disabled, etc.).

 

[kenny]

I bought all my Fancy Colored Diamonds with welfare and food stamps.

Thanks, Y'all!

 

[monarch64]

What I don't understand is how people are seeing how other people pay for stuff at the grocery? I understand that DF and his daughter were shopping at a smaller market but still, how is it even possible to see if people are paying with an EBT card vs. a debit or credit card? Like VRBeauty mentioned (and I thought the same thing) actual food STAMPS haven't been in use for quite some time now. I remember when they were paper currency--when I was in high school I had a job as a cashier at a grocery store, back before everyone used plastic.

It's pretty obvious when someone is writing a check for groceries because they have to take out their checkbook and at least sign the thing and tear it out/hand it over. But cards? You gotta be staring preeeeettttyyy hard or standing preeeettttyyy close to someone to see what card they swipe.

Our local supermarket is starting online ordering and drive-through pickup of groceries in a few months. I CANNOT WAIT because no one will be eyeballing what's on the conveyor belt and how I pay for my groceries!!! Free at last!

 

[Bonfire]

This is certainly a very thought provoking and passionate topic. Poverty has always been around and always will be, that's a very sad fact. Until there is a complete overhaul to our tax code, nothing will change. Equal education opportunities for all children. Job creation (and who creates those jobs?). But As a middle class tax payer, we are getting TAXED TO DEATH. Everyone needs to pay their fair share. Not just squeezing the middle class. Welfare was not created as a long term solution.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I bought all my Fancy Colored Diamonds with welfare and food stamps.

Thanks, Y'all!

woohoo!

Now, divide them up equally and give me half ... you don't NEED them all, and I have no FCDs, so I should have some of yours. THANKS!

 

[charleston1]

I have been a welfare caseworker for years (in Canada). What I found interesting with the other caseworkers in the office is that the ones not born in Canada were much more suspicious of abuse by their clients and "harsher" overall in regards to benefits clients were entitled to with the program. I think a lot of it stems from "I came to this country with $100 and never went on welfare". Not to put words in DF''s mouth but I think that may be part of his take on welfare. (My husband immigrated to Canada with very little money, no job, etc. but I was born here).

There is some abuse but not as much as many think. We have a snitch line that people call in and often it is because they don't understand how the program works (i.e. that you can get a job while on welfare up to a certain amount before it is cut off). Also after being a worker for years you can spot the dishonest clients pretty quickly.

In Canada the days of a free ride are long over. Cuts made to welfare rates in the 1980s have made rates way below the poverty line. We don't have food stamps a client just uses a portion of their cheque for food. Living in a very expensive city, the cheque is mostly towards housing with little left for food.

 

[Bonfire]

Right on JoCoJenn!!!

 

[the_mother_thing]

What I don't understand is how people are seeing how other people pay for stuff at the grocery?

Here (not sure if it's the same all over) the cards have a certain design to them, and you are only like 3 feet away from the person paying. Also, there are some forms of assistance provided to recipients in the form of checks (not in a checkbook), and they sign those over to the grocery store to pay for their stuff. I've also seen some people push all the 'healthy' food to the front of the conveyor and pay for that with the 'assistance'. Then, they pay cash for their smokes, beer, wine, and other 'nonessentials' that are not covered by the assistance. That's the kind of stuff that angers me ... you they have enough 'cash for trash'.

 

[kenny]

I bought all my Fancy Colored Diamonds with welfare and food stamps.

Thanks, Y'all!

woohoo!

Now, divide them up equally and give me half ... you don't NEED them all, and I have no FCDs, so I should have some of yours. THANKS!

Whatttttt????

Do you think I'm some Democrat?
I'm a Republican when it comes to sharing.

 

[monarch64]

What I don't understand is how people are seeing how other people pay for stuff at the grocery?

Here (not sure if it's the same all over) the cards have a certain design to them, and you are only like 3 feet away from the person paying. Also, there are some forms of assistance provided to recipients in the form of checks (not in a checkbook), and they sign those over to the grocery store to pay for their stuff. I've also seen some people push all the 'healthy' food to the front of the conveyor and pay for that with the 'assistance'. Then, they pay cash for their smokes, beer, wine, and other 'nonessentials' that are not covered by the assistance. That's the kind of stuff that angers me ... you they have enough 'cash for trash'.

You must be referring to WIC vouchers. For those who don't know, those are provided to women and children to cover the cost of essential foods which must be from an approved list like peanut butter, beans, eggs, milk, cheese, and fresh produce. (Don't worry, it does NOT cover any of those fancy, $$$ organic fruits and veggies! You poors will eat your pesticides!)

I guess I'm not very nosy or intrusive because I go through the self-checkout the majority of the time and if I have to stand in line for some reason I'm either paying attention to what my kid is doing or checking my phone or looking basically anywhere except at the person in front of me. I.e. more important stuff to worry about!

 

[the_mother_thing]

Whatttttt????

Do you think I'm some Democrat?
I'm a Republican when it comes to sharing.

 

[telephone89]

We have the absolute right (and duty) to question how our government spends our tax dollars on things like roads, military, the latest GAO boondoggle, and a bunch of other things. And people here are even questioning how corporations spend THEIR money. Why would we NOT have the right to also question the legitimacy, purpose and use (or abuse) of a public assistance program paid for with those same tax dollars? What, so someone's feelings aren't hurt? Newsflash - if you didn't want side eye for how you spend your food stamps, don't buy shit that EARNS you some side eye. NO ONE needs a $75 can of tuna! And the only person who has a RIGHT to it is someone who doesn't rely on others or public assistance to buy it. Sorry, not sorry!

It matters not to me if it's a government employee staying at a $300/nt hotel when there is a perfectly good $100/nt hotel in town, or someone who is abusing welfare benefits to buy $75 cans of tuna (instead of buying multiple heads of lettuce, packages of meat, bags of fozen vegetables, bulk eggs, etc.) Abuse is abuse - PERIOD. And I'm not going to be made to feel bad with "oh, her mother might have been dying and it's her last meal" hypothetical nonsense, and I really refuse to feel bad because I own a nice home that I worked darn hard for ... as a single mother ... without money from anyone to do it! And I'm not anyone special ... I just used my brain.

And before someone comes at me with some "well not everyone was born with a Tiffany silver spoon in their mouth" nonsense, just know that I wasn't either! My mother relied on food stamps when I was young, and she ONLY stayed on it until she got a job (not a high paying job with big benefits either; just slightly above minimum wage). And even then, we still ate a lot of the same spaghetti, PB&J sandwiches, canned veggies, eggs, and God-awful liver as when we were on assistance. Ya know what we didn't eat? $75 cans of freakin' tuna! Ya know what else - I learned from that experience ... that if I didn't want to be in that same boat, I needed to make better choices in my life - as a teen and as an adult, so I did, and I feel ZERO guilt for it!

And don't even get me started with this 'wealth redistribution' nonsense. How do you go from being all "don't judge the poor" to saying "those rich people don't need all that money" in the same breath? It's pretty darn judgy & hypocritical! You have no better idea what that rich person did to EARN their money any better than you do if the tuna can girl's mother was on her deathbed. To tell someone (who used their savings, double mortgaged their home if they had one, spent countless hours away from their family, taking ALL the risk to create something that gives others jobs) that they needed to give me their money ... just because they have "too much" by my standards and I don't like flipping burgers or whatevs ... really? I would hope that person would knock my block off and hopefully bring me back to my senses.

EVERYONE has & makes choices in life, and with those choices come good & bad consequences. You have the right to life, liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness (meaning go find/make your OWN happiness); not for that 'happiness' to be served up to you at others' expense. The only caveat there IMO being IF someone is truly incapable of caring/providing for themselves (children, handicapped/disabled, etc.).

Your post makes me so sad. I congratulate you whole heartedly on being a success story. My mother is one as well. Raised in severe poverty, had a child too young, and worked damn hard to give us both the best life she could. I am so thankful that we had welfare for a small portion of that, while she was working a minimum wage job and going to school 4 nights a week. I myself have never needed govt assistance, and believe it is due to my mothers hard work.

However, in your post, it sounds like you are assuming that these people (people on welfare) didn't work hard. YOU worked hard, and have a house. Obviously they didn't, and that's why theyre poor. YOU double mortgaged your house, and came out on top. If they did and it failed, it obviously was their fault and that's why they lost their home/life savings/etc and are now couch surfing or staying in a shelter.

I have no idea what that rich person did to EARN their money, but you have no idea what that poor person did to lose their money/home/etc either. It's such a double edged sword.

 

[the_mother_thing]

@Monarch - I am not trying to be nosy or obtrusive. But when the wait is excessive because someone is divying up their payment 5 ways, yeah ... I look to see what the hold up is ... just like when I pass an accident that had me sitting in traffic for 20 minutes. I certainly don't make faces at the person or grab the mic from the cashier and announce that the person in front of me is "on the dole".

 

[monarch64]

@Monarch - I am not trying to be nosy or obtrusive. But when the wait is excessive because someone is divying up their payment 5 ways, yeah ... I look to see what the hold up is ... just like when I pass an accident that had me sitting in traffic for 20 minutes. I certainly don't make faces at the person or grab the mic from the cashier and announce that the person in front of me is "on the dole".

I'm just speaking in general, not trying to pin those terms on anyone specifically, I promise!
LOL at the mic grabbing visual!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Wow DF you sure seem to run into a lot of people buying expensive delicacies with food stamps

Didn't one of your daughters live at home on your dime for quite awhile?

Go shop at an Asian food market on food stamp day. Most of the people who are buying expensive live seafoods are using food stamps.

My daughter #1 live with us till she bought her own house then got married about 18 months ago, so now they have double income with no kids and pay a lot in taxes that's the reason why she was piss off when she saw people using food stamps to buy $75 can of abalones.

Lunch time!

 

[rainwood]

I guess I'd rather have a welfare recipient buy abalone once in awhile than continue to grant loopholes and tax breaks to the 1% so they can buy abalone every day for every meal and still have millions leftover for their yachts and private jets.

And sorry to break it to your daughter, DF, but the Republicans have shown many times they don't care about the economic well-being of middle-class people such as her and her husband.

 

[partgypsy]

The reason I don't get my panties in a twist, is that Food stamps use 2 cents of every Federal dollar. Of that fraud is estimated around 2%. More than 1 study has shown that overall improving in efficiency of the program is more cost effective than cracking down on fraud. It just doesn't recoup that much money in being more and more restrictive in trying to reduce fraud. In fact it is similar to voter registration rules and enforcement; that the amount of voter fraud is low and usually the rules are for another purpose (reducing access).
So for me, politically, and rationally it seems more important to go after big guns in our budget.

Morally, well, I have changed.
At work I have high standards for myself and for those I work with. I learned things went a easier with positive than negative reinforcement. I also noticed in my own personal life whether it is dealing with my kids or a stranger on the street, is to know what I have to offer, be straightforward, but not to spend so much time judging or critiquing. Would I buy abalone for $100 a can if I was on food stamps? Of course not. Does me judging that person solve some problem or improve the world in any way? Does it make ME a better person?

Some members of my family are addicted to cigarettes. Some have tried multiple times to quit; my Dad and brother successfully quit, while my Mom, sister and other brother are in the tried, didn't work, will smoke rest of their lives. They literally would spend their last 5 dollars on getting cigarettes over say needed medications or food. Is that a good use of their money? Of course not they are addicted. There have definitely been times I've spent a lot of time and energy negatively judging some of their life choices. It didn't make me any happier, nor did it change their lives for the better.

"Don't judge a man till you've walked a mile in his shoes." Elvis

 

[telephone89]

Let's say that she gets $150/mon in food stamps. She spent that entirety on 2 cans of food. Do you know if she has kids? No. Do you know if her mother is sick and dying, and this was her favourite food, and her daughter wants to give her a wonderful last meal? No. As far as I'm concerned, she is not using them illegally (selling for booze, cigs, etc), she is not using more than what she was given (because she paid entirely with food stamps as per the OP), then why is it such a big deal?

People who engage in that type of judgment believe that better choices should be made because they have stereotyped views of people who are on public assistance as those lacking education, having too many kids, being lazy and unmotivated, taking advantage of the system and it's especially touchy because the judgers' tax dollars are funding the program and if it takes village, so to speak, then everyone gets a vote on what everyone else should do. On a daily basis we build an entire puzzle about someone from just one tiny piece of interaction. It's a huge factor in why we can't all get along.

Very true, good points.

I feel like IRL I am a bitchy pessimist, but on here I'm the one sticking up for these people haha.

Another side question - your income is tracked, and if you make a certain amount your welfare gets cut off/lessened. The only way around this (that I can think of) for this woman to be SO rich that the food stamps are just discretionary income, is if she is making other money under the table. Which is from a business who doesn't want to pay taxes. Is it OK for a corp/business to cheat the system, but not for regular seafood lovin folk?

 

[House Cat]

We have the absolute right (and duty) to question how our government spends our tax dollars on things like roads, military, the latest GAO boondoggle, and a bunch of other things. And people here are even questioning how corporations spend THEIR money. Why would we NOT have the right to also question the legitimacy, purpose and use (or abuse) of a public assistance program paid for with those same tax dollars? What, so someone's feelings aren't hurt? Newsflash - if you didn't want side eye for how you spend your food stamps, don't buy shit that EARNS you some side eye. NO ONE needs a $75 can of tuna! And the only person who has a RIGHT to it is someone who doesn't rely on others or public assistance to buy it. Sorry, not sorry!

It matters not to me if it's a government employee staying at a $300/nt hotel when there is a perfectly good $100/nt hotel in town, or someone who is abusing welfare benefits to buy $75 cans of tuna (instead of buying multiple heads of lettuce, packages of meat, bags of fozen vegetables, bulk eggs, etc.) Abuse is abuse - PERIOD. And I'm not going to be made to feel bad with "oh, her mother might have been dying and it's her last meal" hypothetical nonsense, and I really refuse to feel bad because I own a nice home that I worked darn hard for ... as a single mother ... without money from anyone to do it! And I'm not anyone special ... I just used my brain.

And before someone comes at me with some "well not everyone was born with a Tiffany silver spoon in their mouth" nonsense, just know that I wasn't either! My mother relied on food stamps when I was young, and she ONLY stayed on it until she got a job (not a high paying job with big benefits either; just slightly above minimum wage). And even then, we still ate a lot of the same spaghetti, PB&J sandwiches, canned veggies, eggs, and God-awful liver as when we were on assistance. Ya know what we didn't eat? $75 cans of freakin' tuna! Ya know what else - I learned from that experience ... that if I didn't want to be in that same boat, I needed to make better choices in my life - as a teen and as an adult, so I did, and I feel ZERO guilt for it!

And don't even get me started with this 'wealth redistribution' nonsense. How do you go from being all "don't judge the poor" to saying "those rich people don't need all that money" in the same breath? It's pretty darn judgy & hypocritical! You have no better idea what that rich person did to EARN their money any better than you do if the tuna can girl's mother was on her deathbed. To tell someone (who used their savings, double mortgaged their home if they had one, spent countless hours away from their family, taking ALL the risk to create something that gives others jobs) that they needed to give me their money ... just because they have "too much" by my standards and I don't like flipping burgers or whatevs ... really? I would hope that person would knock my block off and hopefully bring me back to my senses.

EVERYONE has & makes choices in life, and with those choices come good & bad consequences. You have the right to life, liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness (meaning go find/make your OWN happiness); not for that 'happiness' to be served up to you at others' expense. The only caveat there IMO being IF someone is truly incapable of caring/providing for themselves (children, handicapped/disabled, etc.).

I want to get this straight, it was ok for your mom to rely on food stamps, but it isn't ok for the rest of the population to use them?

I have heard this a few times from conservatives.... their parents used food stamps, but they used them in the correct way, so that was acceptable. Is this what you are saying?

I feel that you can't have it both ways. Public aid is either acceptable or it isn't. Able bodied people should either work to eat and if they don't, they can starve OR they are entitled to aid if they can't secure a job, period. If we are going to pass judgment on people, then let it be passed on EVERYONE.

Furthermore, I have lived through hard times. I was 19 years old with a newborn, working as a shift manager at a Taco Bell. My son's deadbeat father lived with us and felt he was better suited to watch the baby than to work. I worked very, very hard. I never received aid. There were times when we had to make the choice between paying our rent late or buying food. The enormous fear that I lived under while being a mother to a new baby, knowing that I was barely making enough to survive was bone crushing. That experience made me more compassionate for others, not less. I do not sit on some high horse today and feel the need to tell others that because I learned from that experience, they need to make better choices for their lives. Learning new skills, new life skills, getting an education, etc, that stuff takes time. Some people never get it. It isn't for me to judge these people as less than me. I don't know what experiences brought them to this point in time. These are human beings who are living hard lives. They deserve all of the help they can get.

Don't even get me started on their kids...

 

[the_mother_thing]

Your post makes me so sad. I congratulate you whole heartedly on being a success story. My mother is one as well. Raised in severe poverty, had a child too young, and worked damn hard to give us both the best life she could. I am so thankful that we had welfare for a small portion of that, while she was working a minimum wage job and going to school 4 nights a week. I myself have never needed govt assistance, and believe it is due to my mothers hard work.

However, in your post, it sounds like you are assuming that these people (people on welfare) didn't work hard. YOU worked hard, and have a house. Obviously they didn't, and that's why theyre poor. YOU double mortgaged your house, and came out on top. If they did and it failed, it obviously was their fault and that's why they lost their home/life savings/etc and are now couch surfing or staying in a shelter.

I have no idea what that rich person did to EARN their money, but you have no idea what that poor person did to lose their money/home/etc either. It's such a double edged sword.

To clarify, I did not say nor mean to infer that people on welfare do not/did not work hard, and I did not say I double mortgage my house to come out on top. What I said in a rather long-winded way was: 1) it's just as wrong to judge the wealthy as some here have said it is to judge the poor. Unless you're married to that person, you have no idea their choices, sacrifices, obstacles, risks, etc. to put them in their position of 'prosperity' or 'poor house'; and, 2) that as taxpayers, we have every right to question uses & especially abuses of any government spending and/or programs, of which welfare/WIC/public assistance is ... just like some people criticize the need for a $20B fighter jet. If you choose not to, that's fine and your prerogative.

And to be clear (not that I infer this from your post, Telephone ), I don't walk around pointing my finger at people who are better or worse off than I personally am; I'm not an *******. I admire people who are more successful than I am (and where possible, I try to learn from them), and I have empathy for those who are less 'secure' than I am (and when possible, I do what I can to help). But I'm also not blind, and I'm human, and when I see people abusing ANYTHING that I know others are truly in need of or that is wasteful, or that demonstrates a disrespect for the work others have contributed, it REALLY pisses me off.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I want to get this straight, it was ok for your mom to rely on food stamps, but it isn't ok for the rest of the population to use them?

I have heard this a few times from conservatives.... their parents used food stamps, but they used them in the correct way, so that was acceptable. Is this what you are saying?

I feel that you can't have it both ways. Public aid is either acceptable or it isn't. Able bodied people should either work to eat and if they don't, they can starve OR they are entitled to aid if they can't secure a job, period. If we are going to pass judgment on people, then let it be passed on EVERYONE.

Furthermore, I have lived through hard times. I was 19 years old with a newborn, working as a shift manager at a Taco Bell. My son's deadbeat father lived with us and felt he was better suited to watch the baby than to work. I worked very, very hard. I never received aid. There were times when we had to make the choice between paying our rent late or buying food. The enormous fear that I lived under while being a mother to a new baby, knowing that I was barely making enough to survive was bone crushing. That experience made me more compassionate for others, not less. I do not sit on some high horse today and feel the need to tell others that because I learned from that experience, they need to make better choices for their lives. Learning new skills, new life skills, getting an education, etc, that stuff takes time. Some people never get it. It isn't for me to judge these people as less than me. I don't know what experiences brought them to this point in time. These are human beings who are living hard lives. They deserve all of the help they can get.

Don't even get me started on their kids...

You definitely do NOT have "it" (me) straight. I did NOT say people shouldn't USE assistance or it should not exist; I said people shouldn't ABUSE assistance. And when people do ABUSE assistance, call it 'me on my high horse' or whatever floats your boat - yes, I DO have the right to an opinion about that - just like you have the right to object to the government "wasting" money on what you may feel (for example) is "excessive defense spending" ... because those are OUR tax dollars paying for those programs. And abuse - regardless of who commits it - is abuse. Lastly, I do not walk around poking my finger in people's faces and tell them "too bad so sad; shoulda made better choices!" I'm responsible for what I say/type; not how you choose to interpret (or in this case, twist) it. I have enormous empathy for people who are in situations created by circumstances beyond their control. I do not, however, have as much for people who are in self-created situations as a result of their own never-ending cycle of poor choices. Sure, we all make mistakes, and sometimes, we make the same mistakes twice. If you don't 'wise up' after the second time, well ... let's just say some people gotta learn things the hard way. But I certainly don't walk around pointing that out to people.

Life can be your greatest teacher, or your biggest adversary - the choice is yours.

 

[Arcadian]

So....

DF, love you but your daughter should be glad that they're using the money for food.

I grew up in the projects, that's even with a 2 parent household, a father who was in the military, my mother who when she wasn't sick because of cancer treatments, worked in a school cafeteria. Yes I saw all types, some who did some shady isht with food stamps and welfare.

We got it because we needed it for a while, especially after my mother nearly lost her life and was too ill to work.

Had your daughter had said the person was sitting outside the door trying to get cash for the card, that would be a whole other story and her getting upset would make more sense. I'm in the boat of not caring what type of food they get and eat. Its food, let them eat it. It would otherwise go to waste. Unless you know someones story and situation, maybe take a step back a bit.

If Trader Joe's and Whole foods can accept EBT (or SNAP for those who aren't totally aware), I don't see whats the big deal about someone going to an Asian market (hell they probably saved money!)

The sad reality is that there are plenty of places where job markets may not have totally bounced back, and yes some people because of their income limitations, do qualify for SNAP benefits. SNAP is based on whatever the state allows. Think the program isn't good? Get mad at the state not the person.


*goes back to eating popcorn*

 

[E B]

Perhaps your bait wasn't so weak, DF. Boy, do people delight in spotting and broadcasting any 'abuse' they witness from the less fortunate.

My tax dollars pay for your food, so I should get a say in what you should eat.

My tax dollars are going to the US war machine, so I should get a say....oh, wait.

You'll always find people gaming "the system," but social programs go toward the greater good and the majority of recipients (children, by the way) need it for legitimate reasons. Like bling-encrusted Caddies and OBummer phones with unlimited data plans. You should see their sweet stereo set-up at home, too. All on the gov't dime, y'all.

 

[AGBF]

Furthermore, I have lived through hard times. I was 19 years old with a newborn, working as a shift manager at a Taco Bell. My son's deadbeat father lived with us and felt he was better suited to watch the baby than to work.

I worked very, very hard. I never received aid. There were times when we had to make the choice between paying our rent late or buying food.

The enormous fear that I lived under while being a mother to a new baby, knowing that I was barely making enough to survive was bone crushing. That experience made me more compassionate for others, not less.

I do not sit on some high horse today and feel the need to tell others that because I learned from that experience, they need to make better choices for their lives. Learning new skills, new life skills, getting an education, etc, that stuff takes time. Some people never get it. It isn't for me to judge these people as less than me. I don't know what experiences brought them to this point in time. These are human beings who are living hard lives. They deserve all of the help they can get.

Don't even get me started on their kids...

Thank you for your wonderful posting, House Cat. Hunger really gets to me although I have never experienced it myself. It is an evil that should be wiped out in the entire world, but certainly one we should not tolerate right here in the United States, where we have the resources to keep it at bay.

Many people in the United States are hungry right now, or-as the saying goes-go to bed hungry at night. That is unacceptable in wealthy country. Most of the people going to bed hungry are, of course, helpless or they would not be hungry. The powerful tend to manage to get their fill of food! The helpless are sometimes the elderly and the children. These groups cannot earn money for themselves and are often helpless and dependent. Even my own father, who lives in a home full of food, needs to be helped to eat or he will go hungry. Last night I came home from taking my daughter to an evening class at her college and I realized that if I didn't exert myself to get my father a meal that he would just go to sleep. He I had seen him eating cereal before I drove her to school. (That is what he eats if he is left to his own devices.) So he had had only one prepared meal (breakfast) that day. And he is getting too skinny. I thought of my long dead grandmother (my father's mother) and how he was her youngest son, her baby. When we visited her, she always urged us to eat. She would have had food prepared for him. She would have urged him to eat. She would never have let him dwindle down to skin and bones as he has. With a mother, he would have been fed. I felt I had to try to act in her place and feed her baby.

Remember that this man had the resources to buy food; he had the money. But it is the helpless among us who need the extra help. We cannot let our most vulnerable citizens be hungry.

 

[House Cat]

I want to get this straight, it was ok for your mom to rely on food stamps, but it isn't ok for the rest of the population to use them?

I have heard this a few times from conservatives.... their parents used food stamps, but they used them in the correct way, so that was acceptable. Is this what you are saying?

I feel that you can't have it both ways. Public aid is either acceptable or it isn't. Able bodied people should either work to eat and if they don't, they can starve OR they are entitled to aid if they can't secure a job, period. If we are going to pass judgment on people, then let it be passed on EVERYONE.

Furthermore, I have lived through hard times. I was 19 years old with a newborn, working as a shift manager at a Taco Bell. My son's deadbeat father lived with us and felt he was better suited to watch the baby than to work. I worked very, very hard. I never received aid. There were times when we had to make the choice between paying our rent late or buying food. The enormous fear that I lived under while being a mother to a new baby, knowing that I was barely making enough to survive was bone crushing. That experience made me more compassionate for others, not less. I do not sit on some high horse today and feel the need to tell others that because I learned from that experience, they need to make better choices for their lives. Learning new skills, new life skills, getting an education, etc, that stuff takes time. Some people never get it. It isn't for me to judge these people as less than me. I don't know what experiences brought them to this point in time. These are human beings who are living hard lives. They deserve all of the help they can get.

Don't even get me started on their kids...

You definitely do NOT have "it" (me) straight. I did NOT say people shouldn't USE assistance or it should not exist; I said people shouldn't ABUSE assistance. And when people do ABUSE assistance, call it 'me on my high horse' or whatever floats your boat - yes, I DO have the right to an opinion about that - just like you have the right to object to the government "wasting" money on what you may feel (for example) is "excessive defense spending" ... because those are OUR tax dollars paying for those programs. And abuse - regardless of who commits it - is abuse. Lastly, I do not walk around poking my finger in people's faces and tell them "too bad so sad; shoulda made better choices!" I'm responsible for what I say/type; not how you choose to interpret (or in this case, twist) it. I have enormous empathy for people who are in situations created by circumstances beyond their control. I do not, however, have as much for people who are in self-created situations as a result of their own never-ending cycle of poor choices. Sure, we all make mistakes, and sometimes, we make the same mistakes twice. If you don't 'wise up' after the second time, well ... let's just say some people gotta learn things the hard way. But I certainly don't walk around pointing that out to people.

Life can be your greatest teacher, or your biggest adversary - the choice is yours.

I guess that is where we differ. I believe that when someone knows better, they make better choices. Until then, they will continue to live their lives in a state of learning. It isn't our job to judge someone else's learning process just because it looks foreign to us.

As I said, some people never learn. I don't feel they deserve to starve or die because they were unable to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and live life according to the rest of us.

 

[telephone89]

Thanks for the clarification JoCoJenn.

I guess my point is that, I don't see this as abuse. She's still buying food. She isn't buying a boat load of abalone, like she could say, Corn pops. She is buying a small, but still expensive amount. I look at it like: You can buy a 12oz striploin or you can buy a 6oz filet. Still food, costs the same, but one is smaller. Do you fault people (even on food stamps) for buying a smaller portion of something they deem better quality? (I will take the 12oz all day!)
And I truly believe that if someone wants to have 1 great meal, and spend the other 29 days eating rice/corn pops/water, then they can. Even if the govt paid for that 1 meal.

I would be upset if she were peddling the $ for booze or drugs. That is abuse of the system IMO. Or even if she bought lettuce and then tried to sell it on the street for $ - abuse. But buying a small bit of something expensive doesn't make it abuse in and of itself to me.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I guess that is where we differ. I believe that when someone knows better, they make better choices. Until then, they will continue to live their lives in a state of learning. It isn't our job to judge someone else's learning process just because it looks foreign to us.

As I said, some people never learn. I don't feel they deserve to starve or die because they were unable to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and live life according to the rest of us.

I wouldn't insinuate you are a bad/mean person, twist your words around and/or publicly allege false assumptions about your character based on a couple sentences you wrote on a forum. But ... I guess that is where we differ.