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My dad passed away last month…..

I'm so sorry @babs23r for the loss of your father.

Sending gentle hugs your way.
 
OneKuhlChic said:
I am so so sorry for your loss. It will take a long time for you to feel better... And you will never get over losing your Dad. But I can say with absolute certainty that rembering, sharing stories about your dad, thinking of family holidays - all of this will help you heal.

I lost my Mom over 18 yrs ago and still dream about her almost nightly. It's a protective mechanism that initially helped me to cope with her sudden loss. Over time, I was glad about dreaming of my Mom.

Take it slow, there will be days that are better than others, just know in time you will heal.

Addendum:
I also know that you're Dad is young, healthy and happy and he's with family and friends on the other side. I hope this gives you solace...
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My deepest condolences on the loss of your father. Allow yourself to grieve, there is no timetable. I don't believe you ever get over this kind of loss, you just adjust to living on without. Be good to yourself.
 
So terribly sorry to hear of this loss. Grief is like waves; the more time that passes, the longer the intervals of the crashing wave of grief. You, like so many of us, will finally come to a place where you can live with it without it being all encompassing. Memories eventually show up as smiles and not tears but until then, be good to yourself. Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions, eat good food and rest as much as you can. It truly is a traumatizing loss to the body and soul. Allow yourself to heal in your own way, in your own time. Hugs to you!
 
Bron357 said:
Sending hugs, lots of hugs.
You don’t “get over it” you just day by day learn to live without him there being there physically.
He will always be with you, always.
He will be in your heart, in your memories, in your genes.
Talk out loud, tell him you love him, tell him you miss him, tell him you are so sad he has gone. Let the words and the tears come out. There’s no holding them in or holding them back.
The days will get better, slowly.
Be kind to yourself, cherish your mum and remember him even though it hurts.
If we didn’t love we wouldn’t feel grief and you would never give up that love so as to avoid the grief.
The price of love.
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I couldn't have said this better myself.

I am so sorry to hear this news. I lost my father suddenly what I was 27 & always remember somebody at work telling me I'd soon "get back to normal."

But normal has gone. You have to make a NEW normal now, but in time it will come. Huge hugs to you & remember one day at a time.

It has been 20 years since my dad left, but I do still cry sometimes. It's tough, but you will get through it
 
I'm very sorry for your loss. when we lose someone, we often just end up with a new normal.

The pain is always there but, time blunts it some.

You are in my thoughts.
 
((hugs))

It's so hard and everyone processes grief differently. Let yourself cry. Be kind to yourself and give yourself as much time as you need. When the world starts making a little bit of sense again you can start thinking about how you want to honor him and carry his memory.

I lost my own dad in the early days of the pandemic. It still hurts me every day but it's easier to remember that he would have wanted me to be happy. I figure if I still love him this much then he must still be here, living in my memories and in my heart.
 
My dad wanted to stay alive. He told my sister that he didnt want us to have nervous breakdowns if anything happened to him, but it’s really hard for us to hold it together. It’s a new abnormal normal, and it hurts so much.
 
Hi,

I am so sorry, sweet girl.

Annette
 
So sorry for your loss. I lost my mom last summer. She was just too amazing for words and she was always always there, so it’s been a huge void and a huge adjustment for me. I’m still devastated a lot of the time and reading through these comments - cue the waterworks!

I will say, one thing that has helped me so much emotionally has been flower remedies. I had never heard of them but stumbled on them and gave them a go. (Apparently Bach’s Rescue Remedy is a more mainstream one that can be found in drugstores.) I’ve tried several different formulas and some did nothing for me. But if you want to do some research and try one - Alexis Smart’s Wholehearted formula in particular - recommended for heartbreak and grieving. That one has helped me and when I ran out I noticed a *huge* drop in my mood after a while, so I ordered more, and truly started feeling better once I was taking it again. Peaceful Worrier is a great one as well. They say you might need to repeat one formula for 2-3 rounds in a row.
 
e2the3rd said:
So sorry for your loss. I lost my mom last summer. She was just too amazing for words and she was always always there, so it’s been a huge void and a huge adjustment for me. I’m still devastated a lot of the time and reading through these comments - cue the waterworks!

I will say, one thing that has helped me so much emotionally has been flower remedies. I had never heard of them but stumbled on them and gave them a go. (Apparently Bach’s Rescue Remedy is a more mainstream one that can be found in drugstores.) I’ve tried several different formulas and some did nothing for me. But if you want to do some research and try one - Alexis Smart’s Wholehearted formula in particular - recommended for heartbreak and grieving. That one has helped me and when I ran out I noticed a *huge* drop in my mood after a while, so I ordered more, and truly started feeling better once I was taking it again. Peaceful Worrier is a great one as well. They say you might need to repeat one formula for 2-3 rounds in a row.
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Thank you. Will research these. I really need help with this.
 
So sorry for your loss.

Since you asked for coping tips, I think it is all about distracting yourself while enough time passes to take the edge off. And hopefully coming out of that time with something positive too or at least without any additional negatives.

I would advise against turning to any type of addictive substance at all right now. A trauma or loss is a typical danger time for people's lives to slide downhill into addiction. It doesn't take long to form a dependence and that's hard to come back from.

Instead, positive ways to distract yourself are filling up your time with a schedule that keeps you busy: A daily walk or workout, channeling your feelings into creative expressions such as painting or writing; deep cleaning, organizing or painting the walls; trying a new recipe every day. Anything that leaves you better off in some small way than you were before. I feel like that also honors the person you lost. I'm sure they would want to see you progress as well as possible rather than fall apart or languish.

Next best are comfort distractions like light, fun TV, movies and fiction, games and puzzles, hanging out with your silliest friend. But here too, careful not to fall into anything that gets you deeper into a negative place in the longer run like overspending, overeating, gambling etc.

If you don't have a pet and are in a position to get one, that might be good too.

An early bedtime can help too because everything seems worse late at night imo.

A prescribed anti-depressant, if needed (which is not addictive) or grief counseling can also help.

One thing that also helps me for some reason is just to remember that we all collect sorrows and losses as we progress through life. Remembering that carrying these burdens is a normal part of life that we all do (or will do) helps me anyway. Best wishes.
 
So very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent can be so hard. A life changing event. I lost my Dad suddenly a number of years ago. While still sad at times, the wonderful memories make me smile. Wishing you all the best. Take good care of yourself.
 
I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Dad. It never gets easier, we learn to carry the pain with us everyday. I agree it changes you, losing a parent.

Sending you lots of love and hugs.
 
seaurchin said:
So sorry for your loss.

Since you asked for coping tips, I think it is all about distracting yourself while enough time passes to take the edge off. And hopefully coming out of that time with something positive too or at least without any additional negatives.

I would advise against turning to any type of addictive substance at all right now. A trauma or loss is a typical danger time for people's lives to slide downhill into addiction. It doesn't take long to form a dependence and that's hard to come back from.

Instead, positive ways to distract yourself are filling up your time with a schedule that keeps you busy: A daily walk or workout, channeling your feelings into creative expressions such as painting or writing; deep cleaning, organizing or painting the walls; trying a new recipe every day. Anything that leaves you better off in some small way than you were before. I feel like that also honors the person you lost. I'm sure they would want to see you progress as well as possible rather than fall apart or languish.

Next best are comfort distractions like light, fun TV, movies and fiction, games and puzzles, hanging out with your silliest friend. But here too, careful not to fall into anything that gets you deeper into a negative place in the longer run like overspending, overeating, gambling etc.

If you don't have a pet and are in a position to get one, that might be good too.

An early bedtime can help too because everything seems worse late at night imo.

A prescribed anti-depressant, if needed (which is not addictive) or grief counseling can also help.

One thing that also helps me for some reason is just to remember that we all collect sorrows and losses as we progress through life. Remembering that carrying these burdens is a normal part of life that we all do (or will do) helps me anyway. Best wishes.
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Thank you for these tips. Playing with my grandson now. I would be crying if he weren’t here…..
 
I’m so sorry….It’s a heartbreaking loss. Grandchildren give the best hugs. I’m happy you have your grandson there with you.
 
I'm so sorry for your devastating loss @babs23r. Time will eventually ease your suffering and I know that's small comfort to you right now...but it will happen. In the meantime be patient with yourself and take care of yourself as you try to cope with the pain and grief. You are going through a terrible trauma. I'm glad your grandson has brought you some solace. I hope you can find other ways to distract yourself from your heartache, even for just a little while. My heart goes out to you and I send you thoughts of healing and comfort.
 
junebug17 said:
I'm so sorry for your devastating loss @babs23r. Time will eventually ease your suffering and I know that's small comfort to you right now...but it will happen. In the meantime be patient with yourself and take care of yourself as you try to cope with the pain and grief. You are going through a terrible trauma. I'm glad your grandson has brought you some solace. I hope you can find other ways to distract yourself from your heartache, even for just a little while. My heart goes out to you and I send you thoughts of healing and comfort.
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Thank you. My heart is just aching. My grandson helps, but the sadness creeps back. I find myself reaching for the phone to call him, and then remember…I appreciate everyones comments. They are soothing. This is a part of life that I have dreaded, and now am so filled with pain.
 
I am sorry for your loss
 
babs23r said:
Thank you. My heart is just aching. My grandson helps, but the sadness creeps back. I find myself reaching for the phone to call him, and then remember…I appreciate everyones comments. They are soothing. This is a part of life that I have dreaded, and now am so filled with pain.
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As much as you mentally prepare for this event, it can never be easy. Although it is a part of life, this type of loss is so huge it can be a gaping hole in your heart and soul.

Please be patient with yourself. Everyday (every minute) that you get through is a step in the right direction.
 
allycat0303 said:
As much as you mentally prepare for this event, it can never be easy. Although it is a part of life, this type of loss is so huge it can be a gaping hole in your heart and soul.

Please be patient with yourself. Everyday (every minute) that you get through is a step in the right direction.
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Thank you. What you said is so true. I’m trying, not easy, but my dad always said you have to roll with the punches. But sometimes the punches are really hard.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in remembering the moments of love and laughter, and let slip away the other things. We are all here but for a moment and the pain in losing someone is the surest measure of how much we love them, still.
 
i’m so very sorry for your lost. Sending many prayers and hugs. I’ve lost my dad to Covid in 2020 and some days are still very hard. But some days are okay too. I’m so sad for you and wish there is something I can offer besides inadequate words and prayers. You and your family are in my thoughts:cry2:
 
GreenPapaya said:
i’m so very sorry for your lost. Sending many prayers and hugs. I’ve lost my dad to Covid in 2020 and some days are still very hard. But some days are okay too. I’m so sad for you and wish there is something I can offer besides inadequate words and prayers. You and your family are in my thoughts:cry2:
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Your words are comforting, not inadequate. I’m sorry that you lost your dad to Covid. Sometimes life is really hard.
 
I was feeling better at work today( I thought),until I saw a worker and he asked how I was. I told him that my dad had passed and burst out crying. He told me about his father passing. Everyone goes through this sooner or later, but still raw.
 
Every day is a new landscape of feeling - sometimes better, and then a chance word, sight, memory, conversation will send you back to the deepest grief. It’s not easy, and there is no shortcut. Sending you thoughts - I lost three people very close to me in October, December and January, so I fully empathize. Little things do help, seeing a friend, planting flowers, baking cookies, watching a thought provoking movie, small successes on the road.
 
peachster said:
Every day is a new landscape of feeling - sometimes better, and then a chance word, sight, memory, conversation will send you back to the deepest grief. It’s not easy, and there is no shortcut. Sending you thoughts - I lost three people very close to me in October, December and January, so I fully empathize. Little things do help, seeing a friend, planting flowers, baking cookies, watching a thought provoking movie, small successes on the road.
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Thank you @peachster . You are so right. I’m so sorry for your losses. It’s so weird how you can think you’re doing okay, and then just moments later, it all changes. The nights are the worst. God bless.
 
I am really sorry for your loss , hope you find peace soon .

My father died suddenly in 2013 . For the first three years , I couldn't mention his name to anyone without crying . If I saw people laughing or having fun , I would think my father is lying underground ! I couldn't bear to hear cheerful music in shops or the mall . My personality changed . I was more serious and did not care as deeply for things as I did before . We talked a lot about him in our family , remembering every small detail . Even now I am always telling my kids that my father did or said this .
Eventually the acute pain started decreasing , eventually it turned into a dull ache .
Now after almost 10 years , I feel proud to have been his daughter and that he passed some of his great personality to me (hopefully ! ) .
 
jeweln said:
I am really sorry for your loss , hope you find peace soon .

My father died suddenly in 2013 . For the first three years , I couldn't mention his name to anyone without crying . If I saw people laughing or having fun , I would think my father is lying underground ! I couldn't bear to hear cheerful music in shops or the mall . My personality changed . I was more serious and did not care as deeply for things as I did before . We talked a lot about him in our family , remembering every small detail . Even now I am always telling my kids that my father did or said this .
Eventually the acute pain started decreasing , eventually it turned into a dull ache .
Now after almost 10 years , I feel proud to have been his daughter and that he passed some of his great personality to me (hopefully ! ) .
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I am so happy that you have found peace. I just get so frustrated in the evening wondering where he is. I have had a very strong belief about the after life until my dad died. I keep looking for signs that he is around.
 
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