Must learn by Highschool Graduation (or 18) List

[ksinger]

Um, I wasn't implying that "shiny happy people" are all we need....
My point was that most of us have enough common sense to figure out how to boil water, fry an egg, wash a load of clothes, etc. I agree that it's important to raise responsible, self-sufficient, productive adults, but there are certain processes that are simply the product of common sense. My kids help with cooking from time to time and I'm sure that when they are old enough, they will be doing laundry too (they've seen me wash/dry clothes often enough that it's probably not a process that I would actually have to "teach" them how to do). As I said before, my main goal is to raise decent, caring, respectful, polite human beings (which the world desperately seems to be lacking these days), which does not imply that those things are the only things they need to function in this world. By the time they flutter off into adulthood, I'm quite certain that they will have the skill sets required to maintain a household as well.

I agree with this. I don't remember ever being taught how to cook or clean. But I watched my parents do and figured it out. Someone mentioned this earlier, and I think it's right on- the most important skill to know is how to figure out how to do what needs to be done. That's way more useful than knowing how to do specific things.

I honestly don't get the love affair with "figuring it out". Why not just have your kids actually DO the stuff as they grow up? Teaching is still teaching even if you don't make a formal statement that "this is a LESSON". I'm a big believer in doing. Just watching mom clean the toilet or make the beds is a far cry from actually doing it yourself. And I wasn't asked to do it, I was TOLD to do it, because laziness was not tolerated. And I did it to her standard, not mine. My mother's take, and it was not formally articulated but I got the gist quite well enough, was that If you lived in the house, you pulled your weight and contributed to maintaining it, period. Which is an important lesson in itself.

By the time I was 18 I didn't have to figure out how to iron, clean a sink or a toilet, set a table, wield a knife, peel a vegetable, do dishes, do laundry or any other household maintenance activity because I had not just watched it being done for me, but had done it myself many times over. And cooking to any real level beyond boiling an egg is NOT an intuitive thing that yields to simply watching someone else do it. If that was the case, everyone who watched The Cooking Channel would be a 3-star chef. That was the dutiful observation AND practice of years of helping in the kitchen, not standing in the kitchen doorway passively watching.

Oh, and I still managed to "figure out" things too. Probably better than those who just watched, because not all of my knowledge was theoretical.

 

[momhappy]

^My posts did not imply that all one needed to do was watch.... My kids are fairly young now, so cleaning a toilet for example is not something that I would have them do at their age. I mentioned that they participate in the household by picking up after themselves, cleaning windows, dusting, etc. As they get older, I'm sure that their chores will become more advanced. I guess what I meant by "watching" is that they also watch/learn the basics of running a household and that, paired with common sense and some experience, will help them with their independence.

 

[Gypsy]

I honestly don't get the love affair with "figuring it out". Why not just have your kids actually DO the stuff as they grow up? Teaching is still teaching even if you don't make a formal statement that "this is a LESSON". I'm a big believer in doing. Just watching mom clean the toilet or make the beds is a far cry from actually doing it yourself. And I wasn't asked to do it, I was TOLD to do it, because laziness was not tolerated. And I did it to her standard, not mine. My mother's take, and it was not formally articulated but I got the gist quite well enough, was that If you lived in the house, you pulled your weight and contributed to maintaining it, period. Which is an important lesson in itself.

By the time I was 18 I didn't have to figure out how to iron, clean a sink or a toilet, set a table, wield a knife, peel a vegetable, do dishes, do laundry or any other household maintenance activity because I had not just watched it being done for me, but had done it myself many times over. And cooking to any real level beyond boiling an egg is NOT an intuitive thing that yields to simply watching someone else do it. If that was the case, everyone who watched The Cooking Channel would be a 3-star chef. That was the dutiful observation AND practice of years of helping in the kitchen, not standing in the kitchen doorway passively watching.

Oh, and I still managed to "figure out" things too. Probably better than those who just watched, because not all of my knowledge was theoretical.

Ksinger, I had chores to do, and it often started with me helping with a chore, and doing it with supervision to make sure i did it right, then just became my chore to do.

I think it depends on what your definition is of 'figure it out' versus 'teach'... I was expected to figure stuff out... but it was usually through doing it. Or helping do it at first, then doing it on my own.

My parents didn't make a lecture out of everything (except the ironing thing) but I was taught through doing (absorbing while doing) most things.