Moms, need your opinion re: job situation

[fieryred33143]

Boss sent me an email (yes while on mat leave) with our audit plan for the year. I am scheduled to go “country hopping” in November when DD will be a little over 4 months. The trip is scheduled for 2 weeks but I know I can get it done in just one.

My boss pretty much sent over the hotel and flight info but at the end he asked “will you be able to?”

Here are my options:

1. DD will be watched by MIL during the day. I can leave her here with MIL during the day and FI at night.
2. Leave her with MIL all week to sleep over.
3. Have my mom either stay in my home for a week or take my daughter to her house for a week
4. Pay for my mom and DD to go traveling with me
5. Just say no
Here are my thoughts on each:
Of options 1-3, I would feel 1,000 times more comfortable if my mom were taking care of DD. MIL is ok to take care of her during the day but I wouldn’t want DD sleeping there overnight for that long of a period. I honestly don’t feel like MIL can handle her. As for FI, he’s great with DD but when he sleeps, he sleeps. Nothing wakes him up. DD has been crying before while I’m in the shower and he’s in the bedroom with her snoring away. So that would worry me. And my mom is just wonderful with her.
Option 4 would be ideal but super expensive. The last time I went on a trip like this, it cost $10k in flight fees. Of course that was business class but I wouldn’t have my mom sitting in economy while I’m in business. And I *think* infants have to pay for international flights but not sure.
Option 5 is what I really want to do but something I’m really nervous about. I want to be considered for a management position and while I know they’ll understand, it’s corporate America and saying no stays in their minds for a long time.
Any opinions, advice, other suggestions? Please keep in mind that my goal is to breastfeed for at least six months and I’m hoping to still be bfing at this point.

 

[fieryred33143]

Sorry for double thread, asking admins to delete this one

 

[janinegirly]

Will you be able to do this trip in a week, or it going to be 2 unless you propose something different?

If it's 1 week, I say leave DD with your mom. Peace of mind is everything. I think it's important to do the trip so your employer sees you're serious and not going to be unreliable now that you're a mom. Unless of course you do not have desires to continue working long term.

PS I do think it's a little much for them to corner you for an answer on this while your on maternity leave though--hopefully it's just a one-time thing b/c they need to plan ahead!

 

[D&T]

Date: 8/27/2009 12:10:46 PM
Author: janinegirly
Will you be able to do this trip in a week, or it going to be 2 unless you propose something different?

If it's 1 week, I say leave DD with your mom. Peace of mind is everything. I think it's important to do the trip so your employer sees you're serious and not going to be unreliable now that you're a mom. Unless of course you do not have desires to continue working long term.

PS I do think it's a little much for them to corner you for an answer on this while your on maternity leave though--hopefully it's just a one-time thing b/c they need to plan ahead!

agreed. I did a training trip when my DD was seven weeks, but mine only lasted a few days. Hopefully yours is not longer than a week?

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Since your options involve other people, their preferences probably should be given more weight than that simple 5-option list seems to indicate. (Am I correct in assuming that FI is the father and the two of you live together, BTW? My apologies for not remembering.)

--Which option does your FI prefer? (Would he prefer solo and think you are underestimating him, his mom babysitting during the day, or your mom coming to stay with him for the two weeks?)
--Which option has your mother said works best for her? (Would she even be able to stay away from her home life for two weeks and spending two weeks with her son-in-law without her daughter present?)

Other than option #5 (not going on the trip), it seems like greatest weight in the decision should be given to those who would be doing the "heavy lifting" as it were while you are gone.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Re option #4 . . . if your tickets aren''t booked yet, could you get the company to buy two coach tickets instead of one business ticket?

When my dad went on business trips where he was given $5000 or whatever for a round-trip business class ticket, he would call up American Express (not sure why he used them versus other options) and say he wanted to book one ticket for $5000, and he wanted a companion ticket for free. I guess this was so he could show the price of his ticket being what they had given him. If it makes no difference to the company price-wise, the least they can do is book both tickets for you, and if they can''t, maybe you can do the "two for one" trick.

Otherwise, I''d go with #3. I''m sure the baby would be fine with MIL and FI, but the snoring story did scare me a little! Of course, MIL did successfully raise FI, so I''m sure she will be just as capable with your baby, but your peace of mind is important too.

 

[fieryred33143]

FDL-Yes he is the father and yes we live together. His preference is that she stay with my mom because he knows I’ll be the most comfortable that way. Re: my mom, she would actually prefer that she go stay with her just because she wouldn’t want to make FI uncomfortable and as you said, she rather not be away from home (she lives 4 hours away btw)

Phoenix-That’s a good idea except that my company won’t go for it. If I tell them I could fly coach, that’s what I’ll fly without the additional ticket. They do have companion airfare that started back in July but I’m not sure how that works and I think Directors and above are the only ones eligible (I think it has to do with the new platinum cards that the Directors and very few managers received).

I’m starting to lean more towards having my mom take care of her while I’m gone. I’ve been chatting with my boss all day and once I got more details of the work we have to do, I know it can be done in a week and we can probably cut it down to just two countries instead of 5.