Love vs. Greed

[Upgradable]

Regarding jewelry, being this is Pricescope.

This is a dilemma has haunted more than a couple of us posters over our tenure at PS. I hope maybe I've gotten a hold on mine. But when do you feel more is too much more? I find reading here gets harder and harder, and I've stepped back accordingly. But I'm just wondering what others think?

 

[Circe]

I see it as a fun hobby. Yes, it's pricey, but no more so than being an oenophile, and this is, a) better for my liver, and, b) longer-lasting. I figure so long as I'm not actually losing money on it by buying things I don't appreciate, I'm okay. And, happily, while a lot of the things on here are pieces that I admire immensely for their craftsmanship and sheer beauty, I know they're things I wouldn't wear, so I don't covet them, if that makes sense ....

I think it's only a point of concern when it's an addiction - like, I can't remember where, but I just read someone's story somewhere about their grandmother who had been an alcoholic, kicked it, and just switched over to being a home-shopping-television-jewelry-addict. She was quoted as having said that she just loved receiving packages in the mail, it made every day like Christmas. But when she passed on, they found her drawers stuffed with them, most still unopened.

It made me a little uneasy, because I've been known to say things like that ... but I could no more leave a package with a jewel in it unopened than I could leave a book unread. I collect because I love every detail of jewelry - the fluorescence, dispersion, refraction of the gems, the skill of the metalworker, the history of the vintage pieces, the mystery-solving aspect of correctly IDing an old piece. If it was just the rush of acquisition, that, I think, is when I would have to back away ....

 

[Dancing Fire]

Regarding jewelry, being this is Pricescope.

This is a dilemma has haunted more than a couple of us posters over our tenure at PS. I hope maybe I've gotten a hold on mine. But when do you feel more is too much more?

When your SO files for a divorce...

 

[OreoRosies86]

I really think it turns from a hobby into a problem when it's a financial strain.

 

[ame]

I am like overly practical to a fault. I don't wear what I have, so I am good about not buying more. I am 99% sure I will probably buy those studs. But I am equally certain I'll wear them with equal infrequency to the ones I am sending back.

 

[distracts]

I really think it turns from a hobby into a problem when it's a financial strain.

This.

Almost everyone spends money on their hobbies. As long as you are only spending "fun money" on them, it's fine. I spend a lot on jewelry, but we spend more each year on hockey season tickets, and if you include concessions, parking, and various fan-related things, we spend a ridiculous sum. No one bats a lash at that craziness. There are so many expensive hobbies that no one ever considers a problem - why do people consider THIS one a problem if it is not negatively affecting your finances?

 

[Catmom]

As I've aged I've come to the conclusion that I can only wear so much and I really only wear those pieces that I love. I've been slowing weaning out the collection ever since. There are some that I am replacing with better quality but I am basically done. That doesn't mean that if I find something I absolutely love that I won't go after it but for the most part it's just "enjoying the view" these days. Sheese, I am old!

 

[Kaleigh]

I am with you Catmom!! You are not old. But yes as I have gotten older I don't want stuff. Heck I am selling my asscher, oval etc.. I can't wear it all. I did however buy a gorgeous locket the other day. I was waiting for the price to go down. Went to the store and it wasnt there, and had the vendor track it down. For me to buy now, it has to be smaller and awesome!!! This locket is Art Deco with an OEC in the center.. Amazeballs..

 

[vintagelover229]

How much is too much? IMO what you can really (and will really) wear. I know many on the boards wear a LOT more than I do-fancy dinner parties/etc so they have use for super nice pieces.

I actually think what I have is TO much (in terms of tcw) than what is suitable for my personality and my lifestyle. It still brings me enjoyment but it also brings me some stress. Mainly since my tastes have changed and I find myself wishing for different style pieces-smaller in size-same quality though.

I still love it and wear what I have-but new pieces coming in (which aren't any right now since the money should be spent on other things) need to be just right. I'd still like to swap/down size my current collection into stuff that mores 'me' but it's SO hard when I got such good deals on them and replacing them isn't an option (of the same size/quality). So for now-they just sit.

But I think if one is asking the question then it's probably time to stop-or down size.

Too much stuff can make a person very unhappy. The enjoyment can me stolen from it.

I like good deals. Good deals are also very expensive too-since you get so good at finding good deals that you just can't pass it up. Then you hoard them even though you don't use them (not just jewelry for me) and it just collects dust.

I'm making a huge effort to reduce/recycle/re-use/re-purpose/sell in every area of my life. Clothing-jewelry-shoes-everything.

I want to make sure I have quality-not quantity-but also very 'me' which I find is hard because I like a good deal-and I like high quality-and I like unique and where possible-locally made (or artisan made.)


Now I just need to find someone with the love of antique pieces to trade me their james meyer pieces. I highly doubt that will happen though

 

[Dreamer_D]

Financial strain or emotional anguish would tip the scale from Love/Fun Hobby towards Obsession/Maladaptive Behavior for me. You know what I mean by the latter -- obsessive thinking, rumination etc.

My interest in jewelery is strong but we are not in a financial position to afford luxuries at the moment So it would be unhealthy to pursue projects right now.

 

[Dreamer_D]

...
I think it's only a point of concern when it's an addiction - like, I can't remember where, but I just read someone's story somewhere about their grandmother who had been an alcoholic, kicked it, and just switched over to being a home-shopping-television-jewelry-addict. She was quoted as having said that she just loved receiving packages in the mail, it made every day like Christmas. But when she passed on, they found her drawers stuffed with them, most still unopened...

I often think that most people have SOME type of addiction in life that meets their needs for distraction or emotional numbing or emotional stimulation. If it's not booze, its drama, food, spending, cleaning, working out, sex... really any human activity can tip over into an unhealthy obssesion it seems!

PS -- on an only somewhat related note, you might find this interesting Circe. Do you watch the BBC version of Sherlock? I love it, so look it up if you haven't watched it. It's on NetFlix. Unlike the Hollywood versions of the Holmes story/characters, which never really explain WHY Sherlock and Watson pursue Detective work with such passion, the BBC version does a great job of displaying the psychology behind their interest. I think they both are detectives because they get off on danger, murder and mayhem -- they are addicted to the thrill and the rush. Seeing that aspects suddenly the characters make sense, in a way they don't make sense on, for example, Elementary (US version). Same type of thing on Masters of Sex: the main characters "get off" on their work (more literally on that show). Anyways, I think obsessions and pseudo addictions are everywhere.

 

[distracts]

I often think that most people have SOME type of addiction in life that meets their needs for distraction or emotional numbing or emotional stimulation. If it's not booze, its drama, food, spending, cleaning, working out, sex... really any human activity can tip over into an unhealthy obssesion it seems!

I know I certainly do. I am ALWAYS "fannish" about something - whether jewelry or hockey or my first obsessions - Star Trek or Star Wars. I see it as all sort of the same thing. Is buying jewelry you rarely wear any crazier than buying action figures you keep in their packaging? Is participating on a jewelry forum any more maladaptive than watching and rewatching all 30 seasons of Star Trek and 12 movies until you have an encyclopedic knowledge of them? Or spending thousands of dollars on a ticket to the World Series, which is, after all, only a several-hour-long sports game? Lots of people have weird and expensive hobbies. I figure as long as it's not interfering with their lives (making them unhappy) and as long as they are financially secure, it's fine.

 

[Mayk]

I think for me PS developed my new found taste for beautiful bling. I was not much of a jewelry girl. It is something that takes restraint, something I didn't show much of.. I'm in hopes my bucket list is just about complete with nothing significant on it at this point. I love this place but I needed a hall monitor at times. The devil on my left shoulder drop kicked the angel on my right and was working me over!

 

[Circe]

...
I think it's only a point of concern when it's an addiction - like, I can't remember where, but I just read someone's story somewhere about their grandmother who had been an alcoholic, kicked it, and just switched over to being a home-shopping-television-jewelry-addict. She was quoted as having said that she just loved receiving packages in the mail, it made every day like Christmas. But when she passed on, they found her drawers stuffed with them, most still unopened...

I often think that most people have SOME type of addiction in life that meets their needs for distraction or emotional numbing or emotional stimulation. If it's not booze, its drama, food, spending, cleaning, working out, sex... really any human activity can tip over into an unhealthy obssesion it seems!

PS -- on an only somewhat related note, you might find this interesting Circe. Do you watch the BBC version of Sherlock? I love it, so look it up if you haven't watched it. It's on NetFlix. Unlike the Hollywood versions of the Holmes story/characters, which never really explain WHY Sherlock and Watson pursue Detective work with such passion, the BBC version does a great job of displaying the psychology behind their interest. I think they both are detectives because they get off on danger, murder and mayhem -- they are addicted to the thrill and the rush. Seeing that aspects suddenly the characters make sense, in a way they don't make sense on, for example, Elementary (US version). Same type of thing on Masters of Sex: the main characters "get off" on their work (more literally on that show). Anyways, I think obsessions and pseudo addictions are everywhere.

Heh, I actually do! And I only just started watching "Elementary." I quite like the juxtaposition the two shows provide: Cumberbatch's Sherlock is presented perfectly as someone who's just massively bored with a world that's just a little too dinosaur-slow for his weasel-quick wits. Though I actually hate whats-his-name's Watson ... I feel like Lucy Liu's character on "Elementary" does a much better job of providing a comprehensible motivation (and Johnny Lee Miller's somewhat compulsive, addictive personality, socially maladroit Sherlock is also oddly appealing to me).

But I agree with you that almost everybody has the capacity for addictive behavior ... I just wonder what percentage fits the technical definition of addiction to something that's not a mood-altering chemical. Sure, the runner's high, the oxytocin rush of good sex, the endorphins of even winning an eBay auction, those are chemical, too, but in the absence of unusual body chemistry, I think they're less typical addictions than booze or pot or cigarettes ... maybe just because they require rather more effort?

 

[Puppy4248]

I think for me PS developed my new found taste for beautiful bling. I was not much of a jewelry girl. It is something that takes restraint, something I didn't show much of.. I'm in hopes my bucket list is just about complete with nothing significant on it at this point. I love this place but I needed a hall monitor at times. The devil on my left shoulder drop kicked the angel on my right and was working me over!

@Mayk...i'm the same way!!! I wasn't much of a jewelry person before, then I found PS and and became addicted to this site. I check it practically as often as I check the news

With all the gorgeous pieces PSers have here, it's so easy to get sucked into wanting more. Sometimes I find myself dreaming about getting certain pieces... especially pics of great STACKS... whether it's bracelets or rings, I definitely have those moments where it's like "ooo I like that... i LOVE that... oh and how about thoseeee? TOGETHER?!?!...and THOOOOSE!!" Pretty sure there was a WEEK where I was convinced I absolutely had to have every VCA Alhambra motif bracelet in each color hahaha. But then I come back down to earth after telling myself that jewelry is a luxury, not a necessity. As much as I love jewelry, being a pretty risk-averse person I realize there are a lot of other things I should put my money towards, such as for medical emergencies or anything like that. A quick mental image of myself with a bunch of nice jewelry but no money usually does the trick REAL QUICK hahaha.

 

[aljdewey]

I'd agree with the many of you who said 'when it moves into financial strain to maintain."

I have a decent collection now, but only because I had a 2nd gig for a while that gave me extra $$ to put to discretionary uses. Also, I don't really have any other pricey tastes - not into designer clothes, bags or shoes, so I don't have to divide between hobbies.

The other thing for me is that I don't like to be wasteful. I feel uneasy about having money tied up into something I find I don't wear much, so that slows me a bit too. I just converted a pair of studs/jackets into charms because I love them but never wore them as studs. (I have a Frankenlobe piercing that makes them look uneven (no one else sees it but me, but it drives me insane), and studs amplify that to me. Since leverbacks minimize it, I converted the studs to charms and now I wear them quite often.

I do find that as I'm getting to a certain age, it's harder for me to justify buying pieces too - I just feel like "will I get enough wear out of them over the next 20 years or so to make it worthwhile.". Crazy, I know, but I don't have kids to leave this stuff to. I have a a few nieces, but it's not like I'm building with an eye toward creating heirlooms.

 

[lyra]

Absolutely agree with the part about if it turns into financial strain, then it's too much.

I will always love jewelry. I used to wear quite a lot at one time, when I was younger. Now, it seems to be my hang-up to NOT wear the pieces I love the MOST. What's the psychology behind that? I recognize that I do it, therefore, I go to lengths not to buy anything else.

I usually wear a WB/ER and an old 5 stone ring, and that's it. Not my fancy stuff, no, that sits in a safe for months and months. Instead, I wear a used etoile type .76ct ER that I bought a few years ago, and a matching band. I also have a yellow gold WB that matches my husband's WB. Sometimes I just wear that band and NO other jewelry at all. I don't know why. At least I have daughters to give my stuff to.

 

[dk168]

IMHO, a woman cannot have too many jewellery/shoes/handbags!

Joking aside, I believe as long as one can afford the time, money and effort that is required for a hobby, without compromising other aspects of one's life, then it is fine.

I only spend what I can afford nowadays, after getting my fingers seriously burnt with over-spending in the past.

DK

 

[luv2sparkle]

I would have never found my ring and setting without pricescope, so I am very thankful for all the help and information here. I have had to step back on occasion because I did feel a little obsessed. Sometimes, when I see a giant sparkler, I really really want to upgrade to a larger stone. I have to remind myself that there are places I wouldn't wear my ring now because it would draw to much attention.

I don't feel the same frenzy to acquire that I did years ago. I wanted an upgrade for many years before I got one. I have enough and maybe even too much. I am thankful for it and I enjoy it. If there are any more additions, they will be smaller and farther apart. But if I never purchase another new piece, I am content.

 

[missy]

There can be a fine line at times between the 2. I definitely enjoy the adrenalin rush/endorphin flow that the search and purchase brings (whatever I am shopping for at the time not just jewelry) and I can go overboard at times. Never though to the point of financial strain. I am way too cheap to do that lol.

I blame my dh's influence because before him I was much more frugal but he has an adversity to being cheap and it has rubbed off on me a bit. Life is to be enjoyed and if your hobbies are affordable (for you) and bring you happiness then it's all good. If it becomes an obsession maybe it is time to slow down.

My jewelry purchasing has slowed down but my shoe/clothing/handbag purchasing has picked up a bit so I guess while I love shopping I do it in a somewhat balanced way. And we never take money marked for investments/mortgage/other expenses for shopping. Never.

 

[bliss_cathy]

I was thinking about 'why I started reading PS' yesterday - I was thinking of starting a new thread, but I think it fits in here.

For me, the day I got engaged was one of the most happiest days if my life. The engagement ring was part of that experience as well. I think PS is a way of remembering that moment and the sentimental value I place on my engagement ring.

To add to that, I've always associated jewellery as a sentimental emotional thing. Even though I can buy what I want when I want, I have this view (that many people may disagree with) that jewellery is a gift that comes with meaning, and in most cases from my husband. Even though we share finances etc yada yada, I have this idea that when it's something precious I want, it comes from a personal transaction from him, ie he goes into the shop and makes the purchase, or he goes online and purchases what I've pre picked out... and it generally means something, ie an anniversary gift, a birthday, an I love you gift etc etc. Then I treasure them because I remember what they were for.

I just think that for my personality, for me to continue to appreciate it and treasure it, it needs to come with a bit of work, and that work may be in a sense of waiting, or thinking, or a moment, or research, or shopping for.

It maybe that exact same premise of it needing to be a little bit harder to get, which is why I like diamonds.

The only reason I've even been thinking all this, is lately I've been thinking very seriously about buying some earrings for myself. Thinking that if I buy earrings they are not sentimental pieces, they're just earrings and that I can purchase them for myself.

The more I think about it, the more I've nearly bought them for myself.

I think if I do buy them for myself, I will need to think to myself why I deserve them, what they mean to me, etc, so I cherish them and they are special.

I think consumer items have brackets and once you purchase in those brackets that becomes comfortable and normal, and when you start thinking its normal to spend $1k overnight, then $2k is normal, then $5k, then $10k, then $20k, then 40k and it continues on and on.

I think if it becomes to easy to purchase things, and so easy to take things forgranted that you need to find a way of making things special.

For me, I want to ensure that diamonds stay special and precious to me, etc and at essence, I want to hold onto that moment I had when I got engaged, that feeling I had when I first had the ring slipped on my finger. How happy I felt walking around with it. That is what is important to me.

 

[packrat]

I don't think I could ever get to a greed stage b/c I'm so riddled by anxiety by every project I've ever done. I pared down what I had to just my chrysoberyl ring get my avc three stone, and that was by far the smartest thing I ever did. Now I have one more ring project to pay for--and reset my opal pendant--and then I will be done. I can't handle the stomach churning anymore. I want to love what I have and not be paralyzed by the idea of spending money or look at my projects and feel they were a waste of money--money that is so very hard for us to come by now!

 

[armywife13]

When I first stumbled onto PS and saw all of the gorgeous jewelry, my eyes were definitely bigger than my bank account. I was in a naïve, greedy stage. After a few months, I started to realize that my huge(in ctw and number of items) was not reasonable.

Now, I am focused on keeping my bling journey enjoyable and stress free. I have a short(er) list of items that I want, the items are a more reasonable ctw for my daily life and bank account, and I am spacing the items out. I am focused on slowly acquiring the staple pieces I really want and would wear on a frequent basis-solitaire, 5 stone, studs, pendant, and maybe a bracelet.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I have always loved jewelry and had to let it go for years, except for maybe something new once a year or so. Then I got back into when I came here trying to find a diamond for an anniversary. This coincided with the timing that we aren't getting any younger, and hey, maybe it is time to spend some of the money we have worked for!!!

I do have to be careful because I do think maybe I love my hobby too much! I am being careful to only buy heirloom-worthy pieces, and I certainly don't need a LOT of jewelry considering I don't even work now! I'd love a couple more diamonds, but I am trying to go towards colored stones for rings now because they are more attainable without breaking the bank. There are a few other odds and ends I want like a long DBTY necklace and maybe a bracelet, too. I agree with Catmom, though, I only need so much, so I really need to slow down and just get a few great pieces rather than so many smaller things.

I doubt I'll ever stop this hobby unless I run out of money. But I also enjoy the hunt and getting nice things for great prices on ebay, etc. And like Circe, I definitely open all my packages!

(Oh, and I really don't spend much on clothes, shoes, or purses. I wear jeans most days!)

 

[partgypsy]

Maybe this is a pushover answer, when it is a positive influence on one's life, and not a negative. Researching and finding and acquiring things that are beautiful, rare or however pleasing can add pleasure and spice to one's life. But if it gets to the point of distracting from regular life in a way that impedes it (whether from being preoccupied/distracted from regular relationships, with spouse, financial reasons, other hobbies or activities) then it becomes a negative.

Everyone the line is different. If I could buy a new gemstone every month I would. But I know that money would come out of ( specifically for me) vacation budget, and I'd rather have money to travel and spend time with my kids, so I refrain.