Latchkey kids

[Girlrocks]

I was never a latchkey kid myself, but I had a lot of friends who were. I can't believe how much times have changed...I can't imagine leaving my oldest 2 alone right now and they just turned 9 this week. My best friend's son is in 5th grade and she just started leaving him home "alone" (I live right next door and she always makes sure either I, DH or our other neighbors across the street who are also good friends and both school teachers are home) for an hour or so at a time but he isn't permitted to leave the house and no friends over.

But then again, I also walked 2 blocks to the bus stop by myself, which I would never let my kids do in this day and age, and I rode my bike all around the neighborhood to friends houses by myself, which I wouldn't let mine do by themselves, and I remember spending entire days in the summer when I was 9 or 10 walking around the neighborhood, walking down to the beach, walking to the grocery store to get snacks, etc. and our moms never even knew where we were, no cell phone, etc.

 

[mayachel]

I was both a Gen-Xer and a latch-key kid from about 5th grade. I loved it. I didn''t do anything too terrible, but I did watch more TV than I was supposed to, and ate junk food, like whipped creme from the can. Other than that, I mostly just waited for my mom to come home. I think I got home around 3pm, and she got home around 5pm. At different times, I had to do a call check-in with her or my father''s office as soon as I walked in the door.

I do agree that my friends and I seem to be pretty independent. I''ve been gainfully self-employed since graduation from college, going on about 6 years. People regularly comment that I seem so much more mature than my age. Meanwhile, my friends that are close in age and experience all comment that we feel like we were too serious/focused too young and wonder what we''ve missed out on as we look towards turning 30.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I think if you''re old enough to babysit, then you''re old enough to look after yourself.

Independance is an important growth stage for a kid...they need to learn that they can look after themselves and be self sufficent. I think I started experiencing independence when I was about 11 or 12. I remember how thrilling it was to be alone in my house...or how cool it was to go to the movies with just my friends and no parents. I can''t imagine shielding a child from that experience, to me, that''s a right of passage.

I think in our modern age, with the garage key pads and cell phones and such, kids can be home alone and do just fine! As long as they are mature enough, and aware of their surroundings, then I''m all for flexing a little independence muscle now and then...even if it''s just staying home alone for 15 minutes while Mom runs to the corner market.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/12/2009 9:56:50 AM
Author: Girlrocks
I was never a latchkey kid myself, but I had a lot of friends who were. I can''t believe how much times have changed...I can''t imagine leaving my oldest 2 alone right now and they just turned 9 this week. My best friend''s son is in 5th grade and she just started leaving him home ''alone'' (I live right next door and she always makes sure either I, DH or our other neighbors across the street who are also good friends and both school teachers are home) for an hour or so at a time but he isn''t permitted to leave the house and no friends over.

But then again, I also walked 2 blocks to the bus stop by myself, which I would never let my kids do in this day and age, and I rode my bike all around the neighborhood to friends houses by myself, which I wouldn''t let mine do by themselves, and I remember spending entire days in the summer when I was 9 or 10 walking around the neighborhood, walking down to the beach, walking to the grocery store to get snacks, etc. and our moms never even knew where we were, no cell phone, etc.

In the 6th grade, me and my friend rode bikes everywhere and just hung out. I remember summers in Jr high school, we rode our bikes 3 miles down to the beach and just hung out all day. My mom was never worried.

Makes me wonder, did we all have far more idyllic childhoods than what our children have? And goodness, are they going to have a sense of any independence at all?

 

[elrohwen]

TGal, did you ever read the article by the NYC mom who took her 13 year old son to a store, then let him find his own way home (he obviously knew where he lived, how to use the subway, had money, a cell phone, etc). She wrote this article about how parents need to allow their kids more independence when they are mature enough to handle it and she got flamed incessently by parents who said she was a nutcase. Maybe it's just because people have a negative view of NYC safety in general, but I still think it's an example of the increasing trend of more protective parenting.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 3/12/2009 1:15:59 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 3/12/2009 9:56:50 AM
Author: Girlrocks
I was never a latchkey kid myself, but I had a lot of friends who were. I can't believe how much times have changed...I can't imagine leaving my oldest 2 alone right now and they just turned 9 this week. My best friend's son is in 5th grade and she just started leaving him home 'alone' (I live right next door and she always makes sure either I, DH or our other neighbors across the street who are also good friends and both school teachers are home) for an hour or so at a time but he isn't permitted to leave the house and no friends over.

But then again, I also walked 2 blocks to the bus stop by myself, which I would never let my kids do in this day and age, and I rode my bike all around the neighborhood to friends houses by myself, which I wouldn't let mine do by themselves, and I remember spending entire days in the summer when I was 9 or 10 walking around the neighborhood, walking down to the beach, walking to the grocery store to get snacks, etc. and our moms never even knew where we were, no cell phone, etc.

In the 6th grade, me and my friend rode bikes everywhere and just hung out. I remember summers in Jr high school, we rode our bikes 3 miles down to the beach and just hung out all day. My mom was never worried.

Makes me wonder, did we all have far more idyllic childhoods than what our children have? And goodness, are they going to have a sense of any independence at all?

Ditto me too!!!! My sister and I would ride bikes for hours; we loved it! There was a new strip mall nearby and we would walk over and get ice cream with our friends and we were about 11, 9 and 8 yrs old. I have so many good memories from that time I wouldn't want to go back in time and have a babysitter instead. That is an interesting question about independence, hmmm.

 

[basil]

Date: 3/12/2009 1:15:59 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Makes me wonder, did we all have far more idyllic childhoods than what our children have? And goodness, are they going to have a sense of any independence at all?

I dunno. I mean, I also remember my mom always saying that we didn''t do half of the things that she did when she was a kid. Are we less independent than the baby boomers? I''m really not sure. I don''t know if they think we are.

 

[Mara]

I would much rather have the childhood I had than what kids are experiencing now. Overscheduling activities, malls for trick or treating, TV as the babysitter, fear to let the kids out of your sight.

I used to ride my bike every summer to the library by myself starting when I was about 11. It was about 5 miles away and I'd be gone for 3 hours or so. I'd go out to play with kids in the neighborhood and be gone for hours. My Mom would just know I was out playing...not whose house I'd be at, there was no driving involved, no phone # given for her to contact whomever, no schedule of activities, etc. Plus seriously I think every kid should have to pee in the backyard at least once in their lives. What IS this world coming to?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/12/2009 1:57:36 PM
Author: elrohwen
TGal, did you ever read the article by the NYC mom who took her 13 year old son to a store, then let him find his own way home (he obviously knew where he lived, how to use the subway, had money, a cell phone, etc). She wrote this article about how parents need to allow their kids more independence when they are mature enough to handle it and she got flamed incessently by parents who said she was a nutcase. Maybe it''s just because people have a negative view of NYC safety in general, but I still think it''s an example of the increasing trend of more protective parenting.

Yeah, I heard of the article but didn''t read it. I''d be interested to read it if you have the link onhand.

I would have never thought of the era of our childhood as idyllic. When I was growing up, the 50''s sounded awesome. Now I look back and the 70-80s seem pretty innocent and wonderful too. I still think our children can have great childhoods and I guess we as parents will have to find the balance between giving a little wiggle room and protecting our kids.

 

[elrohwen]

TGal, this is the article about the article that I originally read in Newsweek:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/133103

And here's a link to her original article:
http://www.nysun.com/editorials/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone

Apparently the kid was 9, not 13 like I thought. I guess I can see why there was a bigger reaction to the article because of the age, but still, I don't think people have any right calling her a horrible parent.

ETA: And he also didn't have a cell phone, which I didn't realize before.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I was a latchkey kid at 5 years old. In KINDERGARTEN, I came home and was by myself until 6:30 to 7:00.

In my state, a child has to be 10 for it to be acceptable! Daycare is so expensive. I''d never leave my 6 and 8 year olds alone after school. It''ll cost me $1000 a month for them to be in daycare! During the summer $1280.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 3/11/2009 2:37:52 PM
Author: asscherisme
I was a latchkey kid. You never hear that term anymore. It was the buzz term in the late ''70s early ''80''s and part of era when women flooded back to work.
I can''t imagine leaving my kids alone from such an early age and having SO much indenpendance. My parents had NO clue what my brother and I got iinto!

After school I use to eat spoonfuls of sugar!!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 3/12/2009 2:38:15 PM
Author: Mara
. Plus seriously I think every kid should have to pee in the backyard at least once in their lives. What IS this world coming to?

Ugh, peeing. There is a wide grassy strip between two groups of condos that we live in that is surrounded by windows facing directly there. I caught my 6-year old son PEEING on a tree right in the middle of all that!

Most of my friends keep a close eyes on their kids (8 and younger). I will take a few of the boys'' friends to the park with me, but there is one kid who still isn''t allowed to go w/out his mom! At age 11, my kids BETTER be riding their bikes on their own. I cannot imagine following them around forever. I want my life back!

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 3/12/2009 3:43:15 PM
Author: MC

Date: 3/11/2009 2:37:52 PM
Author: asscherisme
I was a latchkey kid. You never hear that term anymore. It was the buzz term in the late ''70s early ''80''s and part of era when women flooded back to work.
I can''t imagine leaving my kids alone from such an early age and having SO much indenpendance. My parents had NO clue what my brother and I got iinto!

After school I use to eat spoonfuls of sugar!!!

This cracks me up - I could totally see my son doing that

 

[rainwood]

I''m a boomer latchkey kid raised by a divorced mother of two. My sister is 4 years older and we were alone after school probably from the time she was 11 and I was 7. Times were very different then. There was no such thing as after-school or day care and I didn''t know anyone else whose mother worked. And I walked a mile to elementary school by myself from 3rd grade on. No one would let their kids do that now, but it was no big deal back then. And we''d play hide and seek or other outdoor games in the neighborhood until it got dark and the moms would start calling their kids to come home for dinner.

And I do think this made us more independent. My sister was responsible for making dinner from the time she was 12, and once she started a job at 16, it was my turn to start making dinner at age 12. We had some interesting meals until I learned that cooking everything on high just burned things rather than making them cook faster. The advantage was we learned to cook at an early age so by the time we moved out of the house we were pretty good cooks.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

oops, nothing. . .

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 3/12/2009 5:56:41 PM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 3/12/2009 3:43:15 PM
Author: MC

After school I use to eat spoonfuls of sugar!!!

This cracks me up - I could totally see my son doing that

Vesper - wouldn''t it be fun to hide a bunch of cameras around the house and leave your son alone for an hour and see what he does? I think it''d be hilarious to see how creative a child could be during that hour of freedom. I''m pretty sure my kids would either argue over pokemon cards or argue over which movie to watch! Maybe they''d stick popcorn in the microwave and set it for 10 minutes!

 

[Feralpenchant]

Date: 3/11/2009 2:37:52 PM
Author: asscherisme
I was a latchkey kid. You never hear that term anymore. It was the buzz term in the late ''70s early ''80''s and part of era when women flooded back to work.


I am certainly independant, thats for sure.


I can''t imagine leaving my kids alone from such an early age and having SO much indenpendance. My parents had NO clue what my brother and I got iinto!


We were 2nd grade (me) and 4th grade (my brother) when we started getting off the bus and coming home to an empty house. And we would often cook ourselved a hot snack. I shudder now to think that we couldh ave burned the house down. We would then be playing all around he neighborhood with out friends until dark.


Often our mom would call us on the phone and tell us to put dinner in the oven so it would be ready when she got home.


It amazes me sometimes I made it to adulthood alive!


But my brother and I actually did not mind being alone, we liked it. We had so much independence and we had a lot of fun


travelinggal, how old were you when you were left alone?


edited to add, I don''t know if I''m gen-X. What age would that be? I was born in 1969, does that make me gen-X?


Vespergirl, I grew up in Bethesda Md, moving to Potomac Md when I was 8 and there were plenty of latchkey kids back then. But times have massivley changed.


It was such a great area to grow up. LOVED Great Falls and totally miss it!!!

I was at Great Falls last week! Such a great place! I live in Damascus and babysit up in Potomac sometimes. No latchkey kids there anymore! I babysat a 15 year old just last month. I thought that was a little ridiculous. Oh well, $$ is $$.

 

[VegasAngel]

I was but they did have & still do, Safekey.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I was born 1984 so I dunno what generation that makes me? I always thought I was generation x but i guess not lol
I was a latch key kid when I was 8 and I turned out just fine, my mom was always home on the days i had ballet lessons though so she could give me a ride right after school to the studio

So I looked it up, I''m Cold Y generation, lame, doesnt even sound cool

For anyone who is curious, this is what i found on wikipedia:
______________________________________________________________
1966-1980 (15 years)

* Generation X is the generation born between approximately 1965 to 1980, and connected to the pop culture of the 1980s and 1990s they grew up in. Other names used interchangeably with Generation X are Reagan Generation, 13th Generation, and Baby Busters. Most of this generation are children of The Baby Boomers and The Silent Generation. Those born before 1973 spent most of their teen years in the 1980s.[1]

1981-2000 (19 years)

* Generation Y, or "Millennials" are the largest generation in American history[citation needed]. Born between 1981 and 2000, they are 95 million strong, compared to 78 million Baby Boomers. Generation Y could be divided into 2 parts: the Cold Y Generation, noted for their birth during the Cold War between 1976-1990, and the Post-Echo Generation that follow after 1990 who only have a passing memory of the 20th century.

2001-present.

* This latest generation is known as the text generation, since they grew up with cell phones. Early names have included Generation Z, "Generation V" (for virtual), "Generation C" (for community, content or cell phone), "The New Silent Generation", the "Internet Generation", and "Gen @." Generation Z are very young but active consumers, and very connected, being born into a world of ubiquitous digital communication connectivity.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 3/12/2009 3:43:15 PM
Author: MC

Date: 3/11/2009 2:37:52 PM

Author: asscherisme

I was a latchkey kid. You never hear that term anymore. It was the buzz term in the late ''70s early ''80''s and part of era when women flooded back to work.

I can''t imagine leaving my kids alone from such an early age and having SO much indenpendance. My parents had NO clue what my brother and I got iinto!

After school I use to eat spoonfuls of sugar!!!

Sometimes I still eat spoonfuls of sugar...

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 3/15/2009 6:04:03 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 3/12/2009 3:43:15 PM
Author: MC
After school I use to eat spoonfuls of sugar!!!

Sometimes I still eat spoonfuls of sugar...

hehe. Did you ever put spoonfuls in your cereal and let it all sink to the bottom and after finishing the cereal, scoop and eat the globs of sugar from the bottom? lol (from experiences like that, I''ve learned NOT to keep sugar where my kids can locate and devour it!)

 

[sevens one]

What an interesting thread for me to find today. I was out for a walk with my son when we saw our neighbor, a 9 or 10 yr old boy get off his school bus. He came over to greet us and said he was going home to an empty house. He said he had a key and a phone. My first thought was shhhhhh someone might hear you spilling your details of being home alone.
I then thought how strange for him to go to an empty house. That was so much more common in the past. Now with all the
after school activities it seems kids have somewhere to go but I guess he''s too "old" for the after care crowd.

When I was 4 and 5 I used to walk to our community pool which was about a good mile or so away. It seems to crazy now. I was always independent. I need to instill that in my youngins!

 

[akw94]

This is an interesting thread. I only skimmed so I''m not quoting anyone or responding directly to anyone. I find it interesting the amount of parents who say they''d never leave their child home alone. At any age? At 12, 14, 16, never, until they move out? Not even if you need to run to the grocery store? Just curious.

As the parent of a young teen-ager, I understand the feeling of not wanting to leave your child home alone. Mine started staying home alone in 6th grade. This was actually much, much later than many others. He started middle school and there was no after school program. In the beginning of the year, we started him with a babysitter but that didn''t work out. So then he started staying home until I''d get home from work. He also walked to school alone, about 2 blocks at that time. By that time, he definitely felt ready to walk to school alone and stay home alone. I was the one that was afraid.

7th grade, he continued to stay home alone after school and walked about 8 blocks to school, since we''d moved. I''ve never had problems with this. Most children were doing the same, unless they lived further away and couldn''t walk. My son is now 14. I don''t know any parents that don''t allow their children to stay home alone for a period of time. Obviously, doesn''t apply with SAHM''s since they''re home anyway.

I think as you see your child grow and mature, you realize they are capable of more than you''d think. You realize they can care for themselves for a period of time, they can be trustworthy, etc.
My son is just starting to babysit but I babysat far earlier than him. I was also a latchkey kid. I stayed home with a sibling. The only problems I had were due to my annoying older brother.

I still have my son call every day when he gets home. I also make him call before he goes outside and when he gets home, if I''m still not home. No one is allowed in the house when I''m not there and he''s not allowed in anyone else''s home if no parents are there. In my opinion, 12-14 is a great age to start giving them some independence and freedom. Not too much and slowly but before that seems young to me. It really depends on the child, the neighborhood, the parents, etc...

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 3/17/2009 3:07:33 PM
Author: dixie94
This is an interesting thread. I only skimmed so I''m not quoting anyone or responding directly to anyone. I find it interesting the amount of parents who say they''d never leave their child home alone. At any age? At 12, 14, 16, never, until they move out? Not even if you need to run to the grocery store? Just curious.

I haven''t figured out exactly what age my kids officially will be allowed to stay at home, but I would HOPE by age 12 they''re mature enough to do so. If my 8-year-old was an only child, by now I''d probably let him hang out while I ran errands (or worked).

The problem I''ve run into, is that individually, my older son is mature enough, but when his 6-year-old brother is thrown into the mix, it is chaos. They cannot be left at home with each other. They''re way too active and energized that the ONLY way they''d be okay alone is if they watched TV, and I''d prefer they didn''t do that ever day after school for hours! They also bicker A LOT. Even if they were allowed to watch TV after school, they''d argue over which video to watch.

Once when my 6-year-old was sick and it was snowing outside, I let him stay in and watch a movie while I took his brother to a park that''s about 2 minutes away. He didn''t even get off the couch. That was an exception. Actually, he might be okay on his own as an only child. If he didn''t have an older brother, his behavior would be different. He''d have learned to handle himself more as an individual than as a brother-brother team.

 

[akw94]

Date: 3/17/2009 4:53:15 PM
Author: MC
I haven''t figured out exactly what age my kids officially will be allowed to stay at home, but I would HOPE by age 12 they''re mature enough to do so. If my 8-year-old was an only child, by now I''d probably let him hang out while I ran errands (or worked).

The problem I''ve run into, is that individually, my older son is mature enough, but when his 6-year-old brother is thrown into the mix, it is chaos. They cannot be left at home with each other. They''re way too active and energized that the ONLY way they''d be okay alone is if they watched TV, and I''d prefer they didn''t do that ever day after school for hours! They also bicker A LOT. Even if they were allowed to watch TV after school, they''d argue over which video to watch.

Once when my 6-year-old was sick and it was snowing outside, I let him stay in and watch a movie while I took his brother to a park that''s about 2 minutes away. He didn''t even get off the couch. That was an exception. Actually, he might be okay on his own as an only child. If he didn''t have an older brother, his behavior would be different. He''d have learned to handle himself more as an individual than as a brother-brother team.

Hi MC, the issue of the dynamic of having more than one child makes sense. Having only one who lives with us, I''ve never had to deal with that concern. But even having just one, tv is still an issue. If it were up to him, he could play video games all day. He knows that tv is limited and since he''s older, he can go outside when he''s done with homework and chores. I guess when you have more than one, at the very least, the oldest has to be mature enough to be home alone and then care for any younger siblings. It seems complicated!