Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chime in

[eh613c]

Ok, in the last 5 months or so there have been PSers who have purchased their "the one" stone. First it was Mara, then Dreamer_D, then armywife13 and now ForteKitty (sorry if I missed anyone...I can't keep up anymore!!). I'd like to know how you convinced your DH in making this big purchase.

I'm a stay at home mom and obviously money will be tight but I will eventually go back to work (hopefully in 3 years) and start my diamond 'hobby'. However, DH doesn't see it that way. Like ForteKitty mentioned in her recent post, I'm very frugal. I do my own mani/pedi. I don't go to the salon very often. I do my own facials and other stuff to take care of myself. I don't have a gym membership (I run around the Rose Bowl). I try to save as much as I can. I recently spluged on myself (I temporarily worked part time this year) by purchasing some nice small OECs from Pre-Loved. But DH didn't appreciate it.

Is there some sort of a "boot camp" thread in this forum that I'm just not aware of? If not, I think it would be a good idea .

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

Ok, in the last 5 months or so there have been PSers who have purchased their "the one" stone. First it was Mara, then Dreamer_D, then armywife13 and now ForteKitty (sorry if I missed anyone...I can't keep up anymore!!). I'd like to know how you convinced your DH in making this big purchase.

I'm a stay at home mom and obviously money will be tight but I will eventually go back to work (hopefully in 3 years) and start my diamond 'hobby'. However, DH doesn't see it that way. Like ForteKitty mentioned in her recent post, I'm very frugal. I do my own mani/pedi. I don't go to the salon very often. I do my own facials and other stuff to take care of myself. I don't have a gym membership (I run around the Rose Bowl). I try to save as much as I can. I recently spluged on myself (I temporarily worked part time this year) by purchasing some nice small OECs from Pre-Loved. But DH didn't appreciate it.

Is there some sort of a "boot camp" thread in this forum that I'm just not aware of? If not, I think it would be a good idea .

Please note that the PSers you have mentioned have been here a long time. They have had YEARS to brainwash their DH/SO's.

And obviously you are not familiar with Mara, hehehe...there is no such thing as her "the one" stone. I'm in line for this one when it gets punted!

 

[ForteKitty]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

My SO is pretty relaxed about jewelry because he knows I wont buy unless it's a good deal. My oec was significantly discounted at just under $15k, so it wasn't too hard to justify. I also recently went through a purge and sold a lot of jewelry I haven't worn in a long time, which covered about 1/3 of my purchase. He asked what it would retail, what I paid, and if there were anymore at that price!!! I think if I were looking to buy at retail prices, I'd have a hard time justifying it, both to him and to myself. But that's only because I'm stingy.

 

[Skippy123]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

are you wanting a 3 carat? I found my 2 carat in the Preloved section. I still have my ering 3 stone so that isn't going anywhere. maybe look on ebay, lots found old stones on ebay and made sure they have good return policies. As for husbands being on board, I guess it depends on the hubby. I am pretty thrifty so he knows that I don't buy a lot of diamonds in general but that is to the go to gift for big anniversaries or birthdays. I must of missed the thread on Dreamers 3 carat stone? I will have to go look for it

 

[eh613c]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I'm not wanting a 3 ct stone right now. Ooogling at the ones in this forum is enough. I do want to upgrade eventually...perhaps on our 15th or 20th wedding anniversary (this year is our 5th year) so I have a long time to go. It's never too early to start working on an upgrade!

 

[Skippy123]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I'm not wanting a 3 ct stone right now. Ooogling at the ones in this forum is enough. I do want to upgrade eventually...perhaps on our 15th or 20th wedding anniversary (this year is our 5th year) so I have a long time to go. It's never too early to start working on an upgrade!

for sure!

 

[eh613c]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

My SO is pretty relaxed about jewelry because he knows I wont buy unless it's a good deal. My oec was significantly discounted at just under $15k, so it wasn't too hard to justify. I also recently went through a purge and sold a lot of jewelry I haven't worn in a long time, which covered about 1/3 of my purchase. He asked what it would retail, what I paid, and if there were anymore at that price!!! I think if I were looking to buy at retail prices, I'd have a hard time justifying it, both to him and to myself. But that's only because I'm stingy.

Yes, this forum has taught me to stay away from retail. I've been watching Pre-loved and ebay off and on so I'm aware of the price difference.

PS: I got my first OEC from you (1/3 ct). It's purty!

 

[Skippy123]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

if you live in a big city, there are auction houses that sometimes will sell old cuts! You might check those out too!

 

[ForteKitty]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

PS: I got my first OEC from you (1/3 ct). It's purty!

Omg, I must be losing my mind because I can't remember sending anything to the Pasadena area. (and I would remember because i'm near there!) I have a hard time matching names to emails! will you remind me please?

 

[Rhea]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I've quit expecting my DH to be on board for jewellery purchases. If I ever tried to explain to DH how little I spend on myself in other ways he'd probably just laugh and say that he doesn't go to the gym, spa, or salon either.

I recently bought earrings, my 4th pair, and DH just doesn't get it. I'd love for DH to get me another ring (if you're reading this note I said another, not an upgrade!), but he's probably never going to. I wear a ring I bought, earrings I bought, and a band that I bought. I bet very few women's husband's are all for expensive diamond purchases after the engagement ring hunt is over.

 

[armywife13]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I honestly don't think my husband knew what he got into with this upgrade. Originally I was going to upgrade my ering with Zale(trade in + $4k), then through research on the Internet I ran across PS. After reading lots of posts here, I determined that wasn't the best route for an upgrade. I then found a 1.79 OEC from jbeg and my husband begrudgingly agreed to that. About a month or so before I got the 1.79, I had a few conversations with my hubby and Grace because I was in loooove with the 3.62 and it was a good price. My husband just laughed, threw his hands up in the air, and said "if we can afford it and it will make you happy, go for it." The rest is history....though he still shudders when he thinks about the $ aspect of it because he doesn't get the diamond obsession. When he does that, I just remind him about his humongous truck we are going to br getting him, which will be waaaaay more than my ring.

ETA-Part of why he agreed to the upgrade was because I put my free money towards it. Each month we get a certain amount of money for fun things(golf, eating out, massages, mani/pedi). I was very frugal with things when it came to myself, but did not let it affect him...I did not think it wold be fair for anyone else in the house(husband, daughter) to be affected by my choice to upgrade.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I don't have a 3+ct, can I chime in?
I am similar to armywife when I say that I gave up on things I wanted. I knew that if I took away from DH to get something I want, it wouldn't make anybody happy. So, I stopped going out to eat, shopping, etc. and saved money. While I let DH get everything he wanted. He really doesn't have anything to say since he has a truck, a motorcycle, a sports car, and a convertible. But it did take 5 years of convincing him that this small little rock was worth thousands and thousands of dollars. He gets it when a car is say, 15k, but didn't quite comprehend the whole diamond price. But in the end, I showed him how much this diamond truly meant to me and he caved

 

[Enerchi]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

Another 'Not a 3ct' poster, but I have purchased all of my own stuff (silver items and anything of value). I only started back into the FT work force 3 years ago, after 18.5 years of part time work, plus my own decorating business. In those 3 years, I have been able to pay for several couple trips as well as 3 family of 5 trips, so I do feel as though I've been spending on others, which helps me to justify this past years diversion... to spend on ME! I bought earrings first, then started an upgrade to a 3 stone, then reset another ring... then ... then... then... but I've done it all myself while still being able to contribute to family things. As for shopping, I hate it. I hate clothes shopping - I'd be happy in a sack or a uniform, I despise trying on clothes and making decisions... so that is not an issue for me to scrimp there. Other than jewelry, I'd say I do not spend a lot on myself.

My DH knows I appreciate diamonds and jewelry but when he glazes over as I go on and on about the merits of "XYZ", I then flip to relating it to apple products - its like a 32" Macbook pro with retinal display (or whatever it is that I just said - its not my language!) And that's just it - i relate it to something in his world so he can appreciate and equate the importance to something he values. I'd say that's your best angle - relate it to his interests and save save save!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

Ok, in the last 5 months or so there have been PSers who have purchased their "the one" stone. First it was Mara, then Dreamer_D, then armywife13 and now ForteKitty (sorry if I missed anyone...I can't keep up anymore!!). I'd like to know how you convinced your DH in making this big purchase.

first you say no more sex... if that doesn't work then tell him if you don't get a 3ct you will upgrade the husband...

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I wish I had a three carat! Skippy you might be looking a long time for a thread showing off such a large stone on my hand But I did recently get a gorgeous 1.89ct OEC in a hand made vintage setting, and this is a ring I have no urge to change. The setting and stone are really just perfect together. I think I will have it a good long while. Who knows? Maybe forever

My current diamond ring was the result of five years of diamond schenangans. If anyone cares to spend a month or so reading my back threads they can see all the detours and fun times.

Basically, DH does not care what I do with respect to diamonds. He trusts me. I also manage all our finances and money so if I tell him we can afford it, he believes me. Maybe it helps that I work and bring money into the household. I don't know. But he has never been controlling about how I spend money. It would piss me off if he tried to control how I spent my/our discretionary money. I guess the dynamic in our house is that we are equals. So no convincing involved.

 

[Laila619]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I wish I had a three carat! Skippy you might be looking a long time for a thread showing off such a large stone on my hand But I did recently get a gorgeous 1.89ct OEC in a hand made vintage setting, and this is a ring I have no urge to change. The setting and stone are really just perfect together. I think I will have it a good long while. Who knows? Maybe forever

My current diamond ring was the result of five years of diamond schenangans. If anyone cares to spend a month or so reading my back threads they can see all the detours and fun times.

Basically, DH does not care what I do with respect to diamonds. He trusts me. I also manage all our finances and money so if I tell him we can afford it, he believes me. Maybe it helps that I work and bring money into the household. I don't know. But he has never been controlling about how I spend money. It would piss me off if he tried to control how I spent my/our discretionary money. I guess the dynamic in our house is that we are equals. So no convincing involved.

It's the same in our household. I tell DH I would like to buy ABC piece of jewelry, and he says "If you want it, go for it." I manage all the money in our house, so he knows that I know what we can afford. I basically inform him what I'm planning on buying, and he is okay with it.

 

[eh613c]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

Ok, in the last 5 months or so there have been PSers who have purchased their "the one" stone. First it was Mara, then Dreamer_D, then armywife13 and now ForteKitty (sorry if I missed anyone...I can't keep up anymore!!). I'd like to know how you convinced your DH in making this big purchase.

first you say no more sex... if that doesn't work then tell him if you don't get a 3ct you will upgrade the husband...

That's an idea!

 

[eh613c]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

PS: I got my first OEC from you (1/3 ct). It's purty!

Omg, I must be losing my mind because I can't remember sending anything to the Pasadena area. (and I would remember because i'm near there!) I have a hard time matching names to emails! will you remind me please?

Sorry that was my error!

 

[ForteKitty]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

PS: I got my first OEC from you (1/3 ct). It's purty!

Omg, I must be losing my mind because I can't remember sending anything to the Pasadena area. (and I would remember because i'm near there!) I have a hard time matching names to emails! will you remind me please?

Sorry that was my error!

Haha, I must have gone thru my list of sales like 10 times, thinking I was going senile!

 

[madelise]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

You didn't include me, but I'll bite too.

I live in So Cal, where a lot of my peers have 1.5-2 carat center stone rings. That seems to be "average" to me.
SO mentioned a dollar amount one day, when we were dating. He said he didn't want to spend "$X" on an engagement ring for someone who he wasn't sure he was going to spend the rest of his life with. He was talking about his past relationship. I said, hey, if you were thinking of spending $X on her, you better not skimp out on me!

That money was never meant for bills or anything else. It was excess cash set aside for "fun". I could have chosen to get a car with it, but I don't like the idea that my "engagement car" would basically be dead in 10 years, and worth nothing. I'm happy with my dinky little car I drive. He wanted to get a car with it, but he didn't "need" another one. If we had anything that needed paying for, I would not have gotten my engagement stone. We knew that I was probably never going to upgrade after we have house payments and children, so we "upgraded" before buying. With that came the foot down on possible future upgrades, though. We're also going to skimp out on the lavish SoCal wedding. I wanted our wedding $ to go to something more concrete than a "1 night stand" with family and friends!



Is your DH supportive of diamonds? Or does he already have his foot down? The reason I ask is because you say you need help "convincing". If he has his mind already set, he might not budge. SO gets pissed off QUICK if I mention something he already "laid the law" on. Can you maybe get a part time job on the side to fund your own project? That way, you can keep your original E-ring that your DH might have sentimental feelings for?


Also, all of the diamond owners you mentioned have larger but lower colored OECs that are not cut specifically for optics (with an exception to DD, I consider her color white lol!). For the budget to buy a 3 ct lower colored OEC, you could buy a 2 carat higher colored MRB with great optics. I basically had the same budget as a lot of our peers, but I opted for a larger size > better color/better optics.

 

[madelise]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

Oh hay, you're in Pas? I just moved out of Pas a few months ago to SG! Hi neighbor!

 

[eh613c]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

Oh hay, you're in Pas? I just moved out of Pas a few months ago to SG! Hi neighbor!

Hey! My SIL is in SG so we're there all the time.

 

[eh613c]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

You didn't include me, but I'll bite too.

I live in So Cal, where a lot of my peers have 1.5-2 carat center stone rings. That seems to be "average" to me.
SO mentioned a dollar amount one day, when we were dating. He said he didn't want to spend "$X" on an engagement ring for someone who he wasn't sure he was going to spend the rest of his life with. He was talking about his past relationship. I said, hey, if you were thinking of spending $X on her, you better not skimp out on me!

That money was never meant for bills or anything else. It was excess cash set aside for "fun". I could have chosen to get a car with it, but I don't like the idea that my "engagement car" would basically be dead in 10 years, and worth nothing. I'm happy with my dinky little car I drive. He wanted to get a car with it, but he didn't "need" another one. If we had anything that needed paying for, I would not have gotten my engagement stone. We knew that I was probably never going to upgrade after we have house payments and children, so we "upgraded" before buying. With that came the foot down on possible future upgrades, though. We're also going to skimp out on the lavish SoCal wedding. I wanted our wedding $ to go to something more concrete than a "1 night stand" with family and friends!



Is your DH supportive of diamonds? Or does he already have his foot down? The reason I ask is because you say you need help "convincing". If he has his mind already set, he might not budge. SO gets pissed off QUICK if I mention something he already "laid the law" on. Can you maybe get a part time job on the side to fund your own project? That way, you can keep your original E-ring that your DH might have sentimental feelings for?


Also, all of the diamond owners you mentioned have larger but lower colored OECs that are not cut specifically for optics (with an exception to DD, I consider her color white lol!). For the budget to buy a 3 ct lower colored OEC, you could buy a 2 carat higher colored MRB with great optics. I basically had the same budget as a lot of our peers, but I opted for a larger size > better color/better optics.

DH is not 'opposed' to the idea of upgrading but I can tell from his response that the money could be better spent on other things. I think his mindset is that way right now because we are single income with mortgage and 2 small kids. I did mention to him once that once I start working, I can financially contribute and save my 'fun' money for an upgrade. He didn't say anything but he didn't oppose the idea either. Then again, I was perplexed by his reaction when I bought 2 small OECs from the Preloved forum. It was my "fun" money that I saved up while temporarily working. I just don't get guys sometimes

Also, I think he's attached to the e-ring he gave me. As an early 5th wedding anniversary he agreed to have it reset (by VC), which I'm in love with at the moment. Ideally, I would keep my original e-ring and buy another diamond. I'm not looking for an upgrade right now but when the time comes, I'm going to have to decide whether I want a MRB or OEC (the OEC bug bit me).

 

[madelise]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

DH is not 'opposed' to the idea of upgrading but I can tell from his response that the money could be better spent on other things. I think his mindset is that way right now because we are single income with mortgage and 2 small kids. I did mention to him once that once I start working, I can financially contribute and save my 'fun' money for an upgrade. He didn't say anything but he didn't oppose the idea either. Then again, I was perplexed by his reaction when I bought 2 small OECs from the Preloved forum. It was my "fun" money that I saved up while temporarily working. I just don't get guys sometimes

Also, I think he's attached to the e-ring he gave me. As an early 5th wedding anniversary he agreed to have it reset (by VC), which I'm in love with at the moment. Ideally, I would keep my original e-ring and buy another diamond. I'm not looking for an upgrade right now but when the time comes, I'm going to have to decide whether I want a MRB or OEC (the OEC bug bit me).

Well then, it looks like you have a plan! You can work on building your "fun money" savings/ "bling fund" in a few years when the kiddos are older I can see where he's coming from, though. We roll our eyes at "guy stuff", and they roll theirs at bling stuff. Venus and Mars!

 

[grapegravity]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

Ok, in the last 5 months or so there have been PSers who have purchased their "the one" stone. First it was Mara, then Dreamer_D, then armywife13 and now ForteKitty (sorry if I missed anyone...I can't keep up anymore!!). I'd like to know how you convinced your DH in making this big purchase.

I'm a stay at home mom and obviously money will be tight but I will eventually go back to work (hopefully in 3 years) and start my diamond 'hobby'. However, DH doesn't see it that way. Like ForteKitty mentioned in her recent post, I'm very frugal. I do my own mani/pedi. I don't go to the salon very often. I do my own facials and other stuff to take care of myself. I don't have a gym membership (I run around the Rose Bowl). I try to save as much as I can. I recently spluged on myself (I temporarily worked part time this year) by purchasing some nice small OECs from Pre-Loved. But DH didn't appreciate it.

Is there some sort of a "boot camp" thread in this forum that I'm just not aware of? If not, I think it would be a good idea .

Please note that the PSers you have mentioned have been here a long time. They have had YEARS to brainwash their DH/SO's.

And obviously you are not familiar with Mara, hehehe...there is no such thing as her "the one" stone. I'm in line for this one when it gets punted!

Just want to chime in as my hubby recently upgraded my ering again (5th time in 15 years) from 2.02 ct to 3.16ct in celebrate of our 3ed wedding anniversaries
All I can say is it does take YEARS to brainwash and make him understood my love for diamonds (and handbags, but that's another story).all I can say is be patient and he will eventually cave in and agree to upgrade
As for my hubby, we have agreed that he will get the car of his dream in a few years and that will cost 4x more than my upgrade :p

BTW, he has already mentioned DDS has kicked in as he sees me wear the new ring and told me there will be future upgrades again as the years go by.. .

 

[Mayk]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

My SO is pretty relaxed about jewelry because he knows I wont buy unless it's a good deal. My oec was significantly discounted at just under $15k, so it wasn't too hard to justify. I also recently went through a purge and sold a lot of jewelry I haven't worn in a long time, which covered about 1/3 of my purchase. He asked what it would retail, what I paid, and if there were anymore at that price!!! I think if I were looking to buy at retail prices, I'd have a hard time justifying it, both to him and to myself. But that's only because I'm stingy.

THAT IS AMAZING... FK you won the lottery!!!! Lucky, lucky Girl..

 

[rosetta]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

My SO is pretty relaxed about jewelry because he knows I wont buy unless it's a good deal. My oec was significantly discounted at just under $15k, so it wasn't too hard to justify. I also recently went through a purge and sold a lot of jewelry I haven't worn in a long time, which covered about 1/3 of my purchase. He asked what it would retail, what I paid, and if there were anymore at that price!!! I think if I were looking to buy at retail prices, I'd have a hard time justifying it, both to him and to myself. But that's only because I'm stingy.

THAT IS AMAZING... FK you won the lottery!!!! Lucky, lucky Girl..

Lucky duck indeed!!

I have the money for my 3 ct now, but I keep saving for more. And then I have ideas about using the money for other things (there are ALWAYS better and more worthy uses for spare cash!) and end up umming and aahing and doing nothing either way. Ah well!

I do have the full support of my husband to buy whatever I want whenever I want it though. I don't think I could spend that much on a rock without him being 100% happy though. It would sour the whole experience for me.

Good luck with convincing your hubby, sadly I can't offer much advice!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I have talked about buying a large antique diamond for a major anniversary (5 years? 10 years?) since we got married. I've hemmed and hawed about it so much that I've driven my husband crazy. At this point, my husband just wants me to get it so I stop debating it. So my inadvertent strategy is to drive my husband so crazy that he wants me to get a diamond so I'll stop talking about it.

 

[Circe]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I think the question is ... is he indifferent, or actively opposed? Because my husband comes from a culture where the average diamond ring is .20, but when he saw how happy the silly shiny things made me, he became, if not an active member of Team Diamond, then at least a part of the Gentleman's Auxiliary. But even so ... he's never had a hate-on for them, either. If I'd been a gun enthusiast coming in? It probably wouldn't matter just how much I craved a Sig Sauer, it would stay in the realm of fantasy.

As for HOW? Well ... for starters, I never really thought of it as a thing to talk him into, you know? Why should I have to talk my husband into making me happy? That's ... his job, like my job is making him happy. It's more a question of most effectively communicating what makes me happy. And I think he got the picture the year we were engaged, when I walked around beaming like an idiot, shooting rainbows into his eyes when he was reading, stealing his laser pointers to demonstrate how cool it looked in red, like a little miniature Eye of Sauron, perching it on the cat's head like a tiny crown ... seriously, name a silly thing to do with a diamond, and I did it. Dignity and I, we passed like ships in the night.

The second half, I think, is that he and I are both thinky-thoughts people, and I have absolutely no inner filter. So after I started spending time on here, and on other boards, to the point that I was joking about how my third book would obviously be about the sociological significance of jewelry in modern life - fake vs. real! the politics of upgrades! the history of investment scams vs. the big returns some recent consumers had wrought! - we had a LOT of talks about the observations I was making, vis-a-vis the bizarreness of the notion that a lady's engagement ring is the! most! important! piece! FOREVER.

So for us, the philosophy and the follow-through fed into one another. With you? I am equally head-scratchy about why he thinks he gets a vote in how you spend your fun money. Is he equally judge-y about other things, or is it just "frivolous" expenditures?

P.S. - For it to be equitable, he'd have to be skipping out on something society required for him to present his gender role. He gets as many points for not following female beauty rituals as you should get for, oh, not bothering with that pesky time consuming annual prostate exam ....

 

[madelise]

Re: Ladies who recently got their 3ct+ babies....please chim

I am equally head-scratchy about why he thinks he gets a vote in how you spend your fun money. Is he equally judge-y about other things, or is it just "frivolous" expenditures?

I agree with all of the rest of your post, Circe, but I would be one annoyed Madelise if my paychecks went to my SAHS (Stay at Home Spouse)'s $30k+ bling. Materialism does not need to be supported by a marriage partner, and it shouldn't be considered judge-y. That's why I suggested that if he's so against it, she do the purchase on her own when she is employed (but even then, I was hesitant on saying that because the DH should totally have a say on whether that $ should go towards savings and the family > bling). I mean, really, 3+ carat diamonds are frivolous. There's no need for one whatsoever (though the PS viewer might be inclined to disagree!), and kids, bills, and saving for the future should come first. If I had kids, and a SAHS to support, I would want every penny of my extra money to go towards those said kids' college funds in some type of investment. Bling can always be purchased after the kids have gone to college and graduated.. but you can't pay their tuitions with a 3 carat ring! Let's say you and SO already have 2 cars that are very dependable and "enough", and he goes out to buy a $30K+ sports car "for fun" to add to his collection of cars.. when you have a young family to save for. I would go batsh!t crazy on him, take the kids, and leave!


Honestly, in the outside-of-PS world, upgrades are looked at as an unnecessary extravagance, and gives off the feeling that the woman is ungrateful for her first ring. I am part of a non-jewelry related forum that has thousands of members, and one girl brought the subject up of upgrading in a thread. She had gotten flamed to the ground for being ungrateful and materialistic. Many members chimed in saying that they would wear the crappiest, ugliest rings for life because it's what is represented as their engagement ring. Any other rings wouldn't be a "real" engagement ring, but just another reason to hide the real one.