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Ladies, is seeing another woman wearing what you're wearing a bad thing today?

kenny

kenny

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Apr 30, 2005
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In films and on TV I've seen female characters wilt like ice cream in the sun when another woman walks into the room wearing the same thing.
Yes, I know media is not real life, but I've never understood the reasoning behind this.

What ... is every woman expected to commission original haute couture one-offs from Dior, Lauren, Prada, Chanel, Hermes, Vuitton, Gucci, or de la Renta?
 
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It does not bother me. The very few times it happened to me, I saw humor in it. And luckily the other woman did too. Usually a shared compliment in a joking way about what great taste she has or vice versa :)
 
Well, you are gracious and handled it well.

But it doesn't answer my question.
Why does it matter at all?
Why is it something to be handled?
Why even notice at all?

I often try to look behind the curtain. :))
 
Just my opinion but the trope of women being mortified to find another woman wearing the same dress as them has always seemed to me one of those stereotype cliche things that didn't really exist. It kind of portrays women as dingbats, in my opinion, that they'd fall apart over it lol.

As someone else said, if another woman was wearing the same thing as me, I'd probably find it mildly amusing and would compliment her on her good taste, that's all. I've never seen or heard of a woman being mortified over it.
 
It can be a bit funny/exasperating if it’s someone I’m meeting to hang out because then we look like we decided to dress like twins, haha. But it doesn’t bother me for any length of time. Also it depends on what I’m wearing. If it’s white blouse and black pants, I don’t care if 10 other people are wearing the same clothes because they’re so generic it’s not a funny coincidence. Same with the blue jeans / black top combo. Now if I’m wearing a highly patterned dress then it’s a bit funnier.

For example, this one time, I bought an outfit for a wedding (not a fast fashion brand but from a high end designer boutique). When I showed up at the wedding my cousin was wearing the exact same outfit - we didn’t discuss our clothing choices. Obviously it didn’t bother me or ruin my day or anything, but there was a moment of “seriously??? You’ve got to be kidding me!”
 
No other woman will have my bling - and that's what counts most, right? ::)
 
It doesn't bother me but I have never been in that situation.

First of all no one has Bubbalah so I do not expect ever to see a look alike Bubbalah on anyone and my earrings are antique also and don't expect to see my exact earrings on anyone either.

As for clothes my style is not ubiquitous and I have never seen anyone wearing exactly my outfit. But it wouldn't bother me. No one could wear it just like I wear it. I am confident in who I am and something like that wouldn't even register on my radar. And as @Austina was inferring it would look better on us anyway so-

Screen Shot 2020-08-08 at 6.00.51 AM.png

No one does me better than me so yeah, no biggie.

missyandgregatlincolncenter.png


Now another question that comes to mind if what if someone purposefully imitates your style. Would that bother you? It wouldn't bother me because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But what say you?
 
kenny said:
Why does it matter at all?
Why is it something to be handled?
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no clue..

kenny said:
Why even notice at all?
Click to expand...

I think it's more artificial /bizarre not to comment if you're talking to someone who's wearing exactly the same outfit.....

It's a funny coincidence.


Except if it's jeans and a white T-shirt.

I usually wear dresses. So today I'm in navy blue with bold polka dots.
It's kinda hard to miss and would be pretty bizarre if I met someone at a function in that same dress and we'd pretend to not notice..
 
Haha, here you go.
It does matter to some. :)

 
I am not so sure this applies only to women. In my circles, if two men showed up in the exact same outfit, it would be considered an equally remarkable coincidence.

Maybe in the olden days when womens' (erroneously) perceived value was all about their appearance, it was more of a 'thing', but IMO those days are long over...
 
I definitely do not shop in boutiques and do not wear couture. I shop in very average mall stores like The Loft or Banana Republic. Plus, my style is super simple....usually sleeveless blouse Of some kind in the summer, so often see people dressed identically at work or at my kids’ school event. I often just laugh it off, and say to the other person: “I see we got the same memo!” breaks the ice and puts everyone at ease over an awkward situation.
 
Nope, if anything I'd be likely to give a compliment and tell them they obviously have great taste :)
 
I've had this happen to me, and I've seen it happen with my friends (male and female). It's usually a great photo opportunity.
 
You're assuming I'd even notice.
 
Austina said:
Only if it looked better on her :lol:
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A few years ago, I bought a designer dress for a fancy dinner party.

I ended up not wearing it. But another woman at the party showed up in that exact same dress.

She used to be a model, so she stood about 6'3" in heels. Along with her 6'6" date, they were the most striking and statuesque couple I'd ever seen.

I was sooooo glad I didn't wear the same dress, lol.
 
I thought of another story that tangentially fits this thread and I had to post it here.

I attended a wedding a few years back of a good friend - a three day affair. That friend has a sister, who picked out her outfits quite far in advance, and was showing the outfits to some close members of the family and close friends, as people do when they’re excited about clothes purchases, lol. Well, an aunt of the bride is a HUGE narcissist and drama queen, and she was so taken by the outfit that the bride’s sister had purchased to wear on the wedding day, that she decided to buy the same thing for herself to wear at the wedding as well! She also, obviously did not tell anyone about this.

About a week or so before the wedding, the sister found out that this aunt had deliberately gone and bought this same outfit and was poking around to find out what accessories the sister was wearing in order to either copy her or one up her, and in fact had even decided to wear this one specific accessory that only the mother and/or sister of the bride are supposed to wear because “I’m like a mother to her only”. The sister, being super charitable, said something like “I’m sure you didn’t realise it was the same outfit as me, would you please mind wearing something else, it’s my only sister’s wedding etc” and the aunt basically said “do whatever you like, I’m going to wear this, I bought it months ago and YOU copied me.” One week to go, it’s impossible to get something else without spending a ton of money and alterations are impossible, so the sister was resigned to wearing the same outfit as the aunt (who would undoubtedly tell all the guests that the sister had copied her and she would be unable to correct the story without making a scene). So she hit upon an idea.

The first day of the wedding, everything went smoothly. The second day, the sister came wearing the dress she was originally going to wear on the wedding day (she switched the two outfits), and as the second day involved her making a speech on stage etc. EVERYONE in attendance saw her. The aunt looked like she had swallowed several lemons. The third day, the aunt showed up in the dress the sister had worn the day previously. Now, I’m sure no one would’ve cared or noticed, but knowing the kind of person the aunt is, she definitely noticed... and it showed in her expression the whole day.
 
my mother told me that 'imitation is the highest form of flattery' and if I walked into a prom and someone had the same dress as I had on that I should be gracious and kind, and that did happen, her dress was yellow and mine was blue and we both laughed and hugged and both admitted we were wearing our older sister's gown from the year before.. love that girl now as I did in 1969.
 
missy said:
Now another question that comes to mind if what if someone purposefully imitates your style. Would that bother you? It wouldn't bother me because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But what say you?
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I would definitely usually be flattered if someone copied something I wore or etcetera but I recall one time that I didn't like it at all.

I had a neighbor who started copying a lot of what I did, clothes, hairstyle, home decor etc. I would have been very flattered if she ever said she liked what I did so did the same herself or something like that. But she never said anything and was actually pretty nasty to me so it was just weird.

Our kids liked to play together and were still young enough to need constant adult supervision. But she creeped me out enough that I decided to cut off communication with her anyway. I guess there are just a few strange people around...
 
seaurchin said:
I would definitely usually be flattered if someone copied something I wore or etcetera but I recall one time that I didn't like it at all.

I had a neighbor who started copying a lot of what I did, clothes, hairstyle, home decor etc. I would have been very flattered if she ever said she liked what I did so did the same herself or something like that. But she never said anything and was actually pretty nasty to me so it was just weird.

Our kids liked to play together and were still young enough to need constant adult supervision. But she creeped me out enough that I decided to cut off communication with her anyway. I guess there are just a few strange people around...
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Under those circumstances I agree. That is creepy. And unpleasant. :/
 
It's never happened to me that I recall.

It did happen to my daughter at Prom. She decided somewhat last minute to go, so we went to Macy's and found a beautiful dress that fit her perfectly, needing no alteration. As it turned out, another girl had the identical dress and a third the same thing in a different color.

It didn't upset DD, so much as surprise her. I told her that had that had been me, I would have been sure to get a picture of the three of us together.
 
I dress like a ??? what is a PC term now? I'm not worried about me. I am bland and wear cotton everything.

My daughter went to a friend's wedding a couple of years ago. Sort of her first real introduction into this circle of friends, and her now fiance was in the wedding party. She showed up, then her fiance's ex-gf showed up wearing the same dress. It was a wild night apparently. I died laughing when she texted me. Her friends kind of made fun of it. So in theory, it probably wouldn't be a nice thing to happen I guess.
 
Few weeks ago I was parked by another red VW GTI. We were both totally tickled by it, then complimented each other on our great taste.

So I can't say I'd lose my shit if I saw someone wearing the same tshirt, yoga pants and flipflops which is my daily workwear...lol

Unless I'm doing something utterly bespoke I can't see being peeved about it. I do have a couple of bespoke perfumes which people seem to love. I have no issue telling people who I worked with, they're a great perfumer. But bespoke is very expensive indeed. I would not go that route too often.

Outside of that, if people want to know perfume names and such I have NO PROBLEM writing them down and telling them where to get it...everyone should smell as good as I do.
 
The women replying in this thread are all awesome. I was going to write that I couldn't imagine another woman showing up in blue jeans and a white Tee, but two other women before me mentioned the same outfit. :)) I don't think this question really applies to how we live today. I also think there's a lot of sisterhood on Pricescope.

women.jpg
 
@kenny

I just realized that I didn't answer your question.

I don't know why it's considered a bad thing. It doesn't seem to bother men, does it? And when my kids were small, they loved to dress the same as each other or as friends.
 
HI:

Go to a bank and see men dressed in identical black or blue suits and white shirts. Doubt their knickers get in a knot.

Women often have identical purses or boots--when I see stuff like mine I say "great taste!"

cheers--Sharon
 
seaurchin said:
I would definitely usually be flattered if someone copied something I wore or etcetera but I recall one time that I didn't like it at all.

I had a neighbor who started copying a lot of what I did, clothes, hairstyle, home decor etc. I would have been very flattered if she ever said she liked what I did so did the same herself or something like that. But she never said anything and was actually pretty nasty to me so it was just weird.

Our kids liked to play together and were still young enough to need constant adult supervision. But she creeped me out enough that I decided to cut off communication with her anyway. I guess there are just a few strange people around...
Click to expand...

I had the same thing happen to me! This girl was never complimentary, and frequently said ridiculous things to me. My favorite was the time we were in Vegas with our husbands and I was getting ready in the bathroom while she was touching up her makeup or something. She straight up glared at me and said "ugh, I hate you, you're too perfect." She had the same SUV as me, moved to the same neighborhood, copied my watch, she and her husband copied a ton of things we bought for our home. I've never experienced anything like it before or since. I went to a mutual friend's wedding a few years ago and she was a bridesmaid, and would barely speak to me. (As if I cared, ha.) People are very strange, indeed.
 
I think it's kind of fun! I also get inspiration from fashion bloggers. My friends and I have similar tastes and wear similar things.
 
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