Ladies, if you were to upgrade your diamond(s) would you tell your DH beforehand?

[Dancing Fire]

 

[Austina]

Of course. We’ve always had shared finances, so it’d be difficult spending a large sum of money without him noticing, especially as he’s an accountant and checks ours accounts daily!

 

[joelly]

Is telling DH the same as seeking his approval? I’m just curious.

 

[missy]

No question about it. I would enlist my dh's help in the entire process. Makes it that much more fun and exciting and meaningful.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Absolutely! I recently completed my 10 year "upgrade" (added a new ring, still have the originals) and DH helped me and supported me every step of the way!

 

[Tekate]

My soon to be upgrade was something my husband has known about for years and years, he had a timeframe that he he thought we could do it and we are doing it. I could never upgrade without talking to him, ever. AND he know I loved bling when we were dating.

It's the lucky spouse (male or female) that can upgrade without speaking to their spouse because this to me means, they have enough of their own money without hitting up their 'shared' money, in my case my husband is sharing 75% of the cost of my ring to be and I'm contributing 25% of my money. (seems fair to me!).

 

[Starfacet]

No

 

[autumngems]

If it was substantial yes, a minor upgrade no.

 

[arkieb1]

He buys planes, cars etc without getting my opinion on his s@#* so why should I ask him when I want something the answer is a solid hell no from me..... and usually when I do tell him about it he will claim later I didn't tell him about something new anyway. We've been together 20+ years as the saying goes.... "ignorance is bliss"

 

[baby monster]

Yes, we always discuss big purchases beforehand.

 

[bludiva]

if i upgraded or reset or did anything to this ring, it would be with my own $ but i'd still tell him b/c he gave this ring to me and we went through the whole laborious process of finding a stone and having a setting made together. planning on keeping it as-is for that reason, and also i just like it

 

[Dancing Fire]

It's the lucky spouse (male or female) that can upgrade without speaking to their spouse because this to me means, they have enough of their own money without hitting up their 'shared' money, in my case my husband is sharing 75% of the cost of my ring to be and I'm contributing 25% of my money. (seems fair to me!).

Can you please talk to my wife? b/c I want the same deal.

 

[Calliecake]

Of course. We always discuss large purchases.

 

[whitewave]

I didn’t, no, but it was “only” 12k

 

[LinSF]

Yes, we talk about everything, financial and otherwise. An upgrade to a piece we picked together would feel different than something that I bought on my own with my own funds. Engagement ring is never getting upgraded, but any other piece is fair game. Either way though, for us discussion still applies.

 

[msop04]

Is telling DH the same as seeking his approval? I’m just curious.

 

[cmd2014]

Yes, which is why I still have the original ring that I got engaged with...

I would not upgrade my E-ring without it being ok with DH. He's waaaaay too sentimental about it. If I saved my money and bought myself other jewelry he wouldn't care, but this would be a line that I could not uncross I'm afraid. Plus, we talk about all the big stuff, so I wouldn't feel right spending the kind of money I would want to spend were I to upgrade without us talking about it first.

 

[joelly]

Of course. We’ve always had shared finances, so it’d be difficult spending a large sum of money without him noticing, especially as he’s an accountant and checks ours accounts daily!

I’m the accountant in this household. My husband hates bills. Is this mean I get a pass from telling him about an upgrade?

 

[bludiva]

I’m the accountant in this household. My husband hates bills. Is this mean I get a pass from telling him about an upgrade?

 

[doberman]

Of course I'd have to tell him lol. I don't make purchases on that scale without a joint discussion.

 

[joelly]

He buys planes, cars etc without getting my opinion on his s@#* so why should I ask him when I want something the answer is a solid hell no from me..... and usually when I do tell him about it he will claim later I didn't tell him about something new anyway. We've been together 20+ years as the saying goes.... "ignorance is bliss"

This is my husband as well. Without telling me, he loves buying me jewelry from the mall store like Daniel’s jewelry. Spending thousands for a jewelry that I may not like. As a result, they sit in my jewelry box. I’d rather he let me spend on something really nice. I can get something really nice with PS vendor with the $$$ he spent on Daniel’s jewelry. Am I a snob or are you kind of agree with me?

For our 10th anniversary, I preemptively asked him if it’s okay for me to get a diamond band to mark the anniversary. He said yes. I told him my budget and he said okay. I show him the videos and pictures of diamonds that I’m considering though. He puts his two cents then move on.

 

[doberman]

This is my husband as well. Without telling me, he loves buying me jewelry from the mall store like Daniel’s jewelry. Spending thousands for a jewelry that I may not like. As a result, they sit in my jewelry box. I’d rather he let me spend on something really nice. I can get something really nice with PS vendor with the $$$ he spent on Daniel’s jewelry. Am I a snob or are you kind of agree with me?

For our 10th anniversary, I preemptively asked him if it’s okay for me to get a diamond band to mark the anniversary. He said yes. I told him my budget and he said okay. I show him the videos and pictures of diamonds that I’m considering though. He puts his two cents then move on.

Are you married to my husband? My husband has execrable taste in jewelry and he insists on showing in occasion. I have too many pieces that he's brought back from somewhere and I grind my teeth at the thought of money being spent on this.

 

[msop04]

I’m the accountant in this household. My husband hates bills. Is this mean I get a pass from telling him about an upgrade?

Yes... Yes you do.

 

[OreoRosies86]

He knows jewelry is my thing, and it both fascinates and frightens him, so unless I cleaned out the savings for a colored stone he wouldn’t have much say about it.

 

[joelly]

Are you married to my husband? My husband has execrable taste in jewelry and he insists on showing in occasion. I have too many pieces that he's brought back from somewhere and I grind my teeth at the thought of money being spent on this.

So glad I’m not the only one with this problem.

 

[dk168]

I'll spend my hard earned money my way, and have always been financially independent.

DK

 

[Starfacet]

I’m the accountant in this household. My husband hates bills. Is this mean I get a pass from telling him about an upgrade?

Yes! I figure new jewelry is my payment for being the household accountant and H&R Block representative.

 

[arkieb1]

So glad I’m not the only one with this problem.

Yes me as well, he has terrible taste (well not my taste) in jewellery, clothing or anything pretty well for me. He likes selecting his own stuff although I can buy clothing and watches for him he likes but I don't think he's ever purchased anything I like. So basically the rule is if I want it I buy it for myself. He says what am I buying you for your birthday and I say oh this fabulous new sapphire, spinel, handbag, or whatever it happens to be, he says I'm a fabulous shopper aren't I and I say, the best.

When my son was smaller he even went to the trouble of intercepting the packages and wrapping whatever it was so I wasn't allow to see what I'd bought for myself until it was that day ie mother's Day, Christmas, Birthdays.

It beats wasting money on a heap of cr#* I hate that I will never wear.

 

[joelly]

Yes me as well, he has terrible taste (well not my taste) in jewellery, clothing or anything pretty well for me. He likes selecting his own stuff although I can buy clothing and watches for him he likes but I don't think he's ever purchased anything I like. So basically the rule is if I want it I buy it for myself. He says what am I buying you for your birthday and I say oh this fabulous new sapphire, spinel, handbag, or whatever it happens to be, he says I'm a fabulous shopper aren't I and I say, the best.

When my son was smaller he even went to the trouble of intercepting the packages and wrapping whatever it was so I wasn't allow to see what I'd bought for myself until it was that day ie mother's Day, Christmas, Birthdays.

It beats wasting money on a heap of cr#* I hate that I will never wear.

Exactly! They mean well but gosh just give me the $$$ and I know how to make the most of it. I asked him that the next time he has the urge to buy me a jewelry, just tell me his budget and psers can help us find good stuff. He is too sentimental and sensitive though so I have to thread lightly.

 

[arkieb1]

Exactly! They mean well but gosh just give me the $$$ and I know how to make the most of it. I asked him that the next time he has the urge to buy me a jewelry, just tell me his budget and psers can help us find good stuff. He is too sentimental and sensitive though so I have to thread lightly.

Yes mine used to be sensitive too but after being together 20+ years he finally gets I'm much happier not wasting money (I'm a practical person) on stuff I don't like.....

He once bought me a car I hated, a car, without asking..... we aren't just talking about $20.00 items here.