Ladies, if you were to upgrade your diamond(s) would you tell your DH beforehand?

[seaurchin]

Yes. Well really I'd ask him before spending on any large purchase, not tell him, but he'd do the same. We've always kept our money together and discussed large purchases beforehand. I don't recall ever having an argument about money so I guess we're just lucky to think the same way about it.

 

[Bron357]

I told DH I was getting my engagement ring remade.
I just didn’t mention that it was costing $6,000

 

[Dancing Fire]

I told DH I was getting my engagement ring remade.
I just didn’t mention that it was costing $6,000

I like your style!..

 

[GliderPoss]

Yes we would always discuss large purchases/outlays, mind you his definition of large and mine vary quite a bit!

 

[joelly]

I told DH I was getting my engagement ring remade.
I just didn’t mention that it was costing $6,000

 

[Dandi]

Sort of. The diamonds in my original 3 stone engagement ring were of average cut quality, and the centre had a decent white feather smack bang in the middle. Still beautiful though I mentioned to DH that I could trade those stones for ones of ideal cut and better clarity. He looked at me blankly and said 'OK then'.

When I started thinking about resetting it into a 5 stone for our 10 wedding anniversary I asked him how he would feel about that. I got a similar look and 'whatever makes you happy dear'. So yeah, but nah

 

[Bron357]

Well, it started out innocently enough......
My engagement ring needs re sizing larger - sure
My engagement ring shank will need to be remade - sure
The bezel settings are going to have to be re done - sure
I think I might add a few melee diamonds, just little ones - sure
The little diamonds are too small I need a bit bigger - sure
The shoulders don’t look right I think I need something there - sure
The little diamonds on the shoulders looks yuk, the jeweller called in some fancy cut diamonds and they look perfect - sure
The rings taking longer because there’s quite a bit of work involved - sure
The ring is ready - sure, do you want me to pay and pick it up?
NO, NO, ALL GOOD .........

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Yes but only because I tell mine EVERYTHING except let him read the fanfic I write (that's where I draw the line).

We have a pot of tea every night and that's when we spill our guts about all the random crap going on in life.

Hehe he did beg to be released during my jade cab phase. His exact words were "Please I have looked at so many of these they all look the same now. Can you pick something and move on because I can't look at another green stone and guess if there are dots or clouds."

He was a trooper though and we did find the perfect one in the end that no one took issue with!

 

[Matthews1127]

DH & I don’t have secrets. Especially not pertaining to my wedding set.
We’ve already had the conversation, and he agreed that, if some day, I wish to upgrade my ER diamond, we’ll do it, together, just like the first time. We are both sentimental about my rings, esp my ER, so I’d rather keep the diamond, and match it for earrings, then purchase a larger EC for my ER center stone. The best of both worlds!!
All large financial decisions are discussed mutually, and made, together. He brings these discussions to the table, just as I do. Mutual respect & consideration are strengths in our marriage.

 

[joelly]

Sort of. The diamonds in my original 3 stone engagement ring were of average cut quality, and the centre had a decent white feather smack bang in the middle. Still beautiful though I mentioned to DH that I could trade those stones for ones of ideal cut and better clarity. He looked at me blankly and said 'OK then'.

When I started thinking about resetting it into a 5 stone for our 10 wedding anniversary I asked him how he would feel about that. I got a similar look and 'whatever makes you happy dear'. So yeah, but nah

Good hubby you have there

 

[cflutist]

Of course I would tell hubby. We run all major purchases by each other. But he always encourages me, e.g. he wanted me to get the 2.79 F-VS1 CBI without trading the 2.21 cut to order in. He said that we should look for 20 pointers when I thought 15 pointers FIYs for my bracelet (9 leftovers from the parcel were used for a pendant.) He insisted that I buy the FY from Tiffany's in Carmel CA when I wanted him to talk me out of it.

Oh, but he said absolutely not for a 5ct CBI on my size 4.25 finger, he thinks it would look out of place.

 

[Austina]

DH & I don’t have secrets.
All large financial decisions are discussed mutually, and made, together. He brings these discussions to the table, just as I do. Mutual respect & consideration are strengths in our marriage.

^ This!

 

[Dancing Fire]

All large financial decisions are discussed mutually, and made, together. He brings these discussions to the table, just as I do. Mutual respect & consideration are strengths in our marriage.

Rule #1.... never tell your wife everything if you want a long successful marriage...

 

[Matthews1127]

Rule #1.... never tell your wife everything if you want a long successful marriage...

It’s kinda difficult to hide a boat...lol!!!

 

[missy]

Rule #1.... never tell your wife everything if you want a long successful marriage...

It’s kinda difficult to hide a boat...lol!!!

Hahaha unless you hide it in your other house with your other family...

 

[Matthews1127]

Hahaha unless you hide it in your other house with your other family...

LOL!!!

 

[missy]

Hahaha unless you hide it in your other house with your other family...

LOL!!!

LOL is right. In my book though that could be how it begins. Little secrets become bigger secrets that eventually rip away at the very core of the trust and respect one wants in their marriage. Like you we don't keep secrets in our marriage and it is because we respect and trust each other.

 

[Matthews1127]

LOL is right. In my book though that could be how it begins. Little secrets become bigger secrets that eventually rip away at the very core of the trust and respect one wants in their marriage. Like you we don't keep secrets in our marriage and it is because we respect and trust each other.

Exactly!!

 

[Starfacet]

My husband and I aren't into each other's passions. He gets bored when I start talking jewelry, and my eyes glaze over when he starts getting technical about photography. He also has a terrible memory. I can wear a piece I've had for 15 years and he'll say, "Is that new?" Ultimately, he doesn't care what I do as long as he gets to buy camera new lenses!

 

[cmd2014]

I can’t sneak new pieces past DH anyway. He knows me too well and he notices when I have what he calls “new jewelry glow.”

 

[Calliecake]

Too funny @cmd2014 . Jewelry glow is something we can all relate to here!

 

[Gussie]

An upgrade I would run by him. But part of the reason for my band obsession is that I can buy them and he doesn't notice the new band or the change in the bank account!

 

[KristyDarling]

Without question. An upgrade involves big money and is a major splurge, so I'd need his buy-in first. We're a 2-income family and even though he's the bigger earner, we've always looked at our combined finances as "ours" and 50/50. He'd never upgrade his stuff without asking me first either.

 

[MissStepcut]

He would flip out if I even floated the idea of an upgrade.

We have completely separate finances and make almost exactly the same money, so it’s not that. He bought my engagement ring when we were still in law school and it was a big financial stretch at the time, in part because he didn’t want me wanting an upgrade later.

Admittedly I think about it sometimes but in the end it’s a good size for my lifestyle.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Yep, we always discuss these things. I am sometimes the more hesitant one to buy but he says life is short - go for it! He loves his old cars that he restores so we both have our 'hobbies' to spend money on so neither of us feels short changed I guess.

 

[LLJsmom]

Doh, ok, after reading the responses, I upgraded w/o telling him, well, in time for him to make the wire transfer.

Now, after the upgrade...
I tell him what I'm thinking about doing way before I do it. If he has any concerns, he will tell me. I consider telling him my plans sufficient advance notice. No voiced objections is tacit acquiescence to me. Really, it's just me giving him time to absorb the blow...

 

[vintageloves]

Yes but only because I tell mine EVERYTHING except let him read the fanfic I write (that's where I draw the line).

This. Except I've also made him proofread my fanfic.

My husband knows our networth down to the penny and he updates every week. I couldn't exactly sneak a purchase past him. I also like consulting him. If I'm going to make a big purchase, I want his opinion. The upside of this for him is that I never blindside him and he has the chance to tell me if he's uncomfortable with something. The downside is that he's had to look at lots of pictures of shoes evaluating which pair would go best with my outfits.

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

Well, I can’t help what the cats bought me!

(LOL)

 

[Arcadian]

I recall when he upgraded to his last JLC. He came home, stuck his wrist in my face and said, "what do you think?"

Knowing him, I knew he traded a watch, sold something else to get it. I asked how much it was. and of course he told me everything......lol

So I say "its gorgeous, glad you got a good deal on it".

And so it goes. I believe we both make the effort to tell each other of our big purchases. I told him I'm upgrading my earrings someday. He said OK. He doesn't particularly care because he knows me well enough that I will look long and hard for a good deal and I don't like to go into debt. So, those earrings might be a few years out unless I win the lottery and then all bets are off

 

[DiamondGal28]

We have shared $ and personal $. I am the family accountant and bill payer. He knows I'm pretty frugal. We have shared financial goals that always get funded first. Then we get to play with what is left. I usually have more left. He has always been supportive of what I do with my leftover slush so I don't actually pre-clear purchases, but I also don't hide what I'm up to.