Ladies: did you gain weight around Perimenopause?

[missy]

My hair started thinning in my late 20's. Not enough for anyone to notice, but it started then. On my wedding day when I was 32, my hair looked glorious, but there are a couple of pictures taken looking down on us as we stood on a staircase & you can see if you zoom in, slightly thinner areas. When I had the babies, it grew back & was ridiculously thick. Post partum shedding left me with visible scalp. Birth control left me with visible scalp. So I KNOW my hair CAN grow, but my hormones fluctuations prevent it for the most part. And my Dr is pretty dismissive.

Unfortunately here in the UK you have to be registered to your local GP Practice & if you aren't happy with them it's tough titties - you can't just ask to see someone else. If you are really really unhappy, you have to put in a complaint. It's difficult here to be seen by somebody other than your registered GP.

I am sorry @Alex T for your struggles and I hear you on dismissive doctors. Even the nice ones can be dismissive when they cannot figure it out and are frustrated. It has nothing to do with us and everything to do with how they feel about not being able to help IMO. Even in the USA where I can go to almost anyone (if I am willing to pay) I cannot find a physician who can really help me. My thyroid is still underactive and I can only tolerate some of the meds I need and I don't absorb the rest and I wake every single hour throughout the night unable to sleep more than an hour at a time. It has gotten worse in the past 2 years.

I know it is hormone (thyroid and sex hormones) related. I know what is wrong but cannot find a competent physician who cares enough and knows enough to help me balance my hormones. I am going to contact @Arcadian 's recommendation and while I might not be able to take HRT I plan on exploring it. From my understanding it is best to have one's thyroid balanced before starting sex hormone replacement.

You are my curly hair sister and I hope you can get back to the thick beautiful curly hair you had. (((Hugs))).

 

[Ally T]

I am sorry @Alex T for your struggles and I hear you on dismissive doctors. Even the nice ones can be dismissive when they cannot figure it out and are frustrated. It has nothing to do with us and everything to do with how they feel about not being able to help IMO. Even in the USA where I can go to almost anyone (if I am willing to pay) I cannot find a physician who can really help me. My thyroid is still underactive and I can only tolerate some of the meds I need and I don't absorb the rest and I wake every single hour throughout the night unable to sleep more than an hour at a time. It has gotten worse in the past 2 years.

I know it is hormone (thyroid and sex hormones) related. I know what is wrong but cannot find a competent physician who cares enough and knows enough to help me balance my hormones. I am going to contact @Arcadian 's recommendation and while I might not be able to take HRT I plan on exploring it. From my understanding it is best to have one's thyroid balanced before starting sex hormone replacement.

You are my curly hair sister and I hope you can get back to the thick beautiful curly hair you had. (((Hugs))).

Thanks Missy, you are a sweetheart. I hope you can find a solution for all of this. Not being able to sleep sucks, as then your whole day is ruined with sleepy exhaustion & fog.

At the moment, I am not planning to take HRT because I am so hormone sensitive. My mother had a hysterectomy at 50 & was put on HRT immediately with no discussion (that's what they did 25 years ago) but she took herself off it after 3 months because she felt so bad. After that she was fine & had no issues. My big sister is 55 & so far she has had absolutely no symptoms. Her periods are becoming more erratic, but she is still her glorious, happy self. I am keeping my fingers firmly crossed that I will follow suit. My mothers mum died from aggressive breast cancer, so I think the women in my family have always had that drilled into them too. We are a happy healthy bunch & have always been encouraged to nurture our minds & bodies, so this is why mother told me to start prepping myself for menopause this year. I took up Yoga in January & it has been amazing for my soul. Together with the right diet & exercise I am hoping to smash this.

And as somebody said earlier in this thread, being healthy & happy are FAR more important that what you look like. And I don't look overweight as I am tall - I am a UK size 12-14, which is a US 10-12. But for me, this is too heavy & I am disappointed I have this spare tyre that I haven't earned. I mean, if I'd have sat on my lazy ass eating cake & drinking Prosecco all day every day, then it would be a justified weight gain! But it's actually a mystery as to why it's happened & why I can't shift it. I am doubling my efforts from today. Mr T is super sporty & exercises every single day, so I will ride his coat tales & up my activity over summer. Fingers crossed!

 

[missy]

And as somebody said earlier in this thread, being healthy & happy are FAR more important that what you look like

100% yes. No question. Feeling good and being healthy outweighs everything.
And true beauty comes from within and you have it all in that department @Alex T. No question about it.




and

 

[jaaron]

Nothing is more disheartening than knowing something isn't quite right and having doctors dismiss it. @Alex T, I can almost guarantee you that a UK gp isn't ordering all the tests Missy mentioned. I spent years in the middle of the range being told nothing was wrong with me until I eventually ran across a doctor who did those levels. And that was even with the knowledge that I'm hypothyroid--every time I asked about the T3 panel I was told it's not necessary, but the truth is if they're only measuring T4 and TSH, you're not getting the full picture. There are many fantastic things about the NHS, but the downside is that they can be very rigid in their protocols. Some of the constraints that are put onto doctors and hospitals are really more about cost efficiency than practicing good medicine, but they can make it very difficult for the doctors to think differently. Most GPs have very little endocrine training, so just take what they're told as gospel. Even most endocrinologists tend to be have very deep knowledge on diabetes-related issues and less on thyroid-related ones. A bit of a rant that might not even be helpful to you...

If I were in your shoes, I would probably, if you can afford it, have one private appointment with a reputable bioidentical hormone specialist. They'll run a comprehensive battery of blood tests that might help give you some answers.

In regards to HRT, I wouldn't necessarily write it off. I'm crazily sensitive to hormones--could never tolerate birth control pills no matter how many formulations I tried and had hyperemesis all three pregnancies (the only thing Kate Middleton and I have in common ). Apparently this kind of sensitivity is not unusual in women with thyroid issues. But a very low dose bio-identical HRT has been an absolute godsend for me. My GP and my gynaecologist are both women, older than me, but within 5 years, and both of them are on hormone replacement. Missy- if I'm remembering right, there are still benefits to be had if you start within six years of menopause.

As to your actual question, finally

I'm through menopause and I haven't really gained. I can see some differences--my stomach isn't washboard flat and my butt isn't quite as high as it once was, but overall not all that much (yet, at least) and I definitely credit that in part to the HRT.

I'm the opposite of you, in that I'm on the short side. A couple of kilos really shows on me, so I tend to be pretty vigilant. The problem is that I'm a real food person--both when it comes to cooking and eating (and I, too, have a fondness for digestives--plain chocolate). I've always been a bit of a grazer and a meal skipper, particularly if I'm very busy. So while I don't really do intermittent fasting, I've sort of harnessed my natural tendencies a bit to try to make it a positive. Some days I just eat whatever I want and some days I'll make a big batch of green smoothie with added green powder and soaked chia seeds and have a couple glasses of that, a coffee with some cream in it, and not much else until dinner. I'm not insane about it-- if I find myself starving on one of those days, I'll eat a few small, healthy snacks, but mostly I find I don't really need anything else. And I've always preferred to exercise before I eat anyway, so it doesn't interfere with that.

I've also added more weights and pilates to my workouts and changed the way I run. I used to go out and just do a pretty long run consistently, but now I vary that with shorter interval runs on the treadmill that are more speed and/or incline based. I think my body was actually so used to the longer runs I wasn't actually working all that hard.

I completely agree that being healthy and happy is the most important thing. That said, I do think it sounds like you're doing everything right and are right to wonder if this is more than just being a year or two older.

 

[Ally T]

Nothing is more disheartening than knowing something isn't quite right and having doctors dismiss it. @Alex T, I can almost guarantee you that a UK gp isn't ordering all the tests Missy mentioned. I spent years in the middle of the range being told nothing was wrong with me until I eventually ran across a doctor who did those levels. And that was even with the knowledge that I'm hypothyroid--every time I asked about the T3 panel I was told it's not necessary, but the truth is if they're only measuring T4 and TSH, you're not getting the full picture. There are many fantastic things about the NHS, but the downside is that they can be very rigid in their protocols. Some of the constraints that are put onto doctors and hospitals are really more about cost efficiency than practicing good medicine, but they can make it very difficult for the doctors to think differently. Most GPs have very little endocrine training, so just take what they're told as gospel. Even most endocrinologists tend to be have very deep knowledge on diabetes-related issues and less on thyroid-related ones. A bit of a rant that might not even be helpful to you...

If I were in your shoes, I would probably, if you can afford it, have one private appointment with a reputable bioidentical hormone specialist. They'll run a comprehensive battery of blood tests that might help give you some answers.

In regards to HRT, I wouldn't necessarily write it off. I'm crazily sensitive to hormones--could never tolerate birth control pills no matter how many formulations I tried and had hyperemesis all three pregnancies (the only thing Kate Middleton and I have in common ). Apparently this kind of sensitivity is not unusual in women with thyroid issues. But a very low dose bio-identical HRT has been an absolute godsend for me. My GP and my gynaecologist are both women, older than me, but within 5 years, and both of them are on hormone replacement. Missy- if I'm remembering right, there are still benefits to be had if you start within six years of menopause.

As to your actual question, finally

I'm through menopause and I haven't really gained. I can see some differences--my stomach isn't washboard flat and my butt isn't quite as high as it once was, but overall not all that much (yet, at least) and I definitely credit that in part to the HRT.

I'm the opposite of you, in that I'm on the short side. A couple of kilos really shows on me, so I tend to be pretty vigilant. The problem is that I'm a real food person--both when it comes to cooking and eating (and I, too, have a fondness for digestives--plain chocolate). I've always been a bit of a grazer and a meal skipper, particularly if I'm very busy. So while I don't really do intermittent fasting, I've sort of harnessed my natural tendencies a bit to try to make it a positive. Some days I just eat whatever I want and some days I'll make a big batch of green smoothie with added green powder and soaked chia seeds and have a couple glasses of that, a coffee with some cream in it, and not much else until dinner. I'm not insane about it-- if I find myself starving on one of those days, I'll eat a few small, healthy snacks, but mostly I find I don't really need anything else. And I've always preferred to exercise before I eat anyway, so it doesn't interfere with that.

I've also added more weights and pilates to my workouts and changed the way I run. I used to go out and just do a pretty long run consistently, but now I vary that with shorter interval runs on the treadmill that are more speed and/or incline based. I think my body was actually so used to the longer runs I wasn't actually working all that hard.

I completely agree that being healthy and happy is the most important thing. That said, I do think it sounds like you're doing everything right and are right to wonder if this is more than just being a year or two older.

Thanks so, so much for writing all of this. I'm glad you've found something that agrees with you too. Being a woman can be tiring sometimes! I am definitely going to request T3 when she does my annual tests & if she says it's not necessary, I will blag & say I was advised by an endocrinologist to get the T3 done because it gives a far clearer picture. As much as I DON'T want to have thyroid issues, it does run in the family & would make sense with symptoms. If she dismisses me then I may very well book in with a private GP - the Cheshire Spire is only a couple of miles away from me. If I can afford to have Juvaderm done there, I can afford to get to the bottom of this!

As for the running, you might be right there too. I run for miles, but I don't do sprints or anything, so perhaps my body is so conditioned to it now that although it's keeping me healthy, it's not having any impact on my weight management anymore.

I do need to cut back on carbs too. I don't over eat, but I do eat more carbs than I used to. I think it's because the children are getting older now & tend to eat the same meals as we do, at the same time. When they were younger I'd cook one thing for them at dinner time around 4pm, then another meal for us around 7pm. Now we all eat together around 6pm & I make more (brown) pasta & rice dishes, things that they need to eat but I perhaps don't. Lots of things to think about here that I've never given much brain space to before.

 

[stepcutnut]

I haven't had a chance to read through everyone's responses yet so I apologize if these suggestions have been made already.

A couple of quick thoughts are to try a weight vest while doing exercising-start slow and add weight to the vest as your feel comfortable doing so(I've been told that as you begin to lose weight to replace that lost weight in the vest). Not only does it help your body to think you are at a higher starting weight and boost your metabolism, but you will get the added benefit of more weight bearing exercise to help build bone faster.

Also, something to think about regarding food is that each time you eat/drink most foods, you increase your blood sugar, these spikes in blood sugar can lead to changes in how your body is holding onto fat. The fewer spikes in blood sugar throughout the day the better, so if one is a snacker-even with healthy snacks, you are still having that spike, maybe try limiting your calories to a few times or windows a day and see if the weight begins to move.

Good luck, fluctuating hormones can be such a challenge.

 

[Austina]

I was perimenopausal from 38, and hit actual menopause early 50’s. I‘ve found that it’s only been since about 55 that the weight has crept on. My muscle tone changed and even with exercising I can’t shift it. I haven’t had any problems with hair loss, my hair is really thick and grows like crazy and my nails grow really quickly too.

I didn’t want to take HRT, so I’ve put up with the hot flushes (still getting them at 61), night sweats and sleeplessness.

The only thing I do take is MACA, and I certainly think it’s helped lessen the effects. I’ve decided to accept the Elizabeth Taylor approach and stick with some extra weight to keep my face plump

 

[partgypsy]

So much good advice! My mother was on birth control and then on HRT till as long as she could be on it. I actually LIKE being on bc because otherwise I have pms and heavy periods (plus it helps my skin). But I know it increases cancer risk.
Main takeaways is that even if just walking in place replace the daily walking I used to do even more, incorporate weight bearing/strength exercises, and try to reduce the sugar. Sugar is my biggest weakness. However I have been trying to be better by not eating as much bread-based items, not having (candy, cookies) in the house. If I do have sweets either make them, or have yogurt bars, or ice cream (which I'm less likely to eat). I just couldn't do a full keto. I can't imagine surviving on meat and cheese and no carbs I think it would literally make me feel ill.

 

[missy]

So much good advice! My mother was on birth control and then on HRT till as long as she could be on it. I actually LIKE being on bc because otherwise I have pms and heavy periods (plus it helps my skin). But I know it increases cancer risk.
Main takeaways is that even if just walking in place replace the daily walking I used to do even more, incorporate weight bearing/strength exercises, and try to reduce the sugar. Sugar is my biggest weakness. However I have been trying to be better by not eating as much bread-based items, not having (candy, cookies) in the house. If I do have sweets either make them, or have yogurt bars, or ice cream (which I'm less likely to eat). I just couldn't do a full keto. I can't imagine surviving on meat and cheese and no carbs I think it would literally make me feel ill.

I just want to add support for carbs. We do need carbs and imo high protein diets (for any sustained length of time) can be harmful to one’s health. However as with all things to do with health please consult with your physician for the facts as they pertain to you. The collective you, that is.

Just saying carbs aren’t the demon some consider them to be and they are important for overall good health. IMO.

 

[Ally T]

I just want to add support for carbs. We do need carbs and imo high protein diets (for any sustained length of time) can be harmful to one’s health. However as with all things to do with health please consult with your physician for the facts as they pertain to you. The collective you, that is.

Just saying carbs aren’t the demon some consider them to be and they are important for overall good health. IMO.

I just couldn't give them up. I'd rather be the size of a house & happy than live carb free!

 

[Matata]

I just couldn't give them up. I'd rather be the size of a house & happy than live carb free!

Re: weight gain. Have you tried time restricted eating (TRE)? It's a popular form of fasting. Pick either a 6 hour or an 8 hour eating window and have all your meals within that timeframe. Eat nothing outside of the chosen window. Drink nothing outside the eating window except plain liquids -- no sugar/sugar substitutes, cream/milk rather black coffee, plain tea, or water. Drink a lot of water throughout the day.

My body responds to 18:6 TRE. I eat all my meals either between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. or between noon and 6 p.m.

If you decide to give experiment with this, measure yourself before you begin -- hips, thighs, chest; get your current weight. During the experiment, don't get on a scale but measure yourself every month. You might see your weight increase during TRE but your body measurements will go down and that's the more accurate way to measure progress. Continue to exercise as usual.

 

[LJsapphire]

I'm 42 on Sunday, I think I am approaching perimenopause. I cut my waist length hair to just below my shoulders because it was thinning. I have gained about 1st /6kg in the last year and about half of that due to lockdown. I am less active because of not being at work. At work I am on my feet all day but working from home I was sitting at my laptop. Before that I had gained a bit, and was finding it more difficult to lose.

 

[Ally T]

Re: weight gain. Have you tried time restricted eating (TRE)? It's a popular form of fasting. Pick either a 6 hour or an 8 hour eating window and have all your meals within that timeframe. Eat nothing outside of the chosen window. Drink nothing outside the eating window except plain liquids -- no sugar/sugar substitutes, cream/milk rather black coffee, plain tea, or water. Drink a lot of water throughout the day.

My body responds to 18:6 TRE. I eat all my meals either between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. or between noon and 6 p.m.

If you decide to give experiment with this, measure yourself before you begin -- hips, thighs, chest; get your current weight. During the experiment, don't get on a scale but measure yourself every month. You might see your weight increase during TRE but your body measurements will go down and that's the more accurate way to measure progress. Continue to exercise as usual.

I haven't heard of this way of eating before?! Sounds really interesting - I shall have a look around the internet & get more information. Thanks so much!

 

[eapj]

@Alex T thank you for starting this thread! It’s been so informative.

 

[Matata]

I haven't heard of this way of eating before?! Sounds really interesting - I shall have a look around the internet & get more information. Thanks so much!

There are two discussions here about it:

Has anyone done/is anyone doing intermittent fasting?

I've done some research on this. I would love to hear your experiences, both positive and negative. Also, did you ease in gradually or dive right in, and do you do 7 days a week or less? Any tips? Any and all info appreciated.

www.pricescope.com

Intermittent fasting

I’m wondering if anyone else is trying this? I decided to give it a go and am on day 3. Wondering what your experience has been like if you tried it or are doing it as a life style change. I’ve put on some weight - mostly belly fat - after menopause. Not a lot of weight but enough that my...

www.pricescope.com

You can take a look on Amazon for Jason Fung's books: The Diabetes Code; The Complete Guide to Fasting. He also has a Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/obesitycodenetwork/. And a lot of videos on youtube.

 

[Ally T]

I'm 42 on Sunday, I think I am approaching perimenopause. I cut my waist length hair to just below my shoulders because it was thinning. I have gained about 1st /6kg in the last year and about half of that due to lockdown. I am less active because of not being at work. At work I am on my feet all day but working from home I was sitting at my laptop. Before that I had gained a bit, and was finding it more difficult to lose.

I am so sorry to hear about your glorious hair. You may have followed my hair struggles in the past, so hearing other women struggling with theirs always pulls at my emotions. Fingers crossed it was just an upset or a late autumnal shed? One thing that has helped my hair shed less is daily Vit D. I had a pattern of shedding throughout autumn, so that every year by Christmas my hair was stringy, wispy & needed a good cut. Then the Dr found I was very Vit D deficient, and over the last 2 winters I haven't shed excessively at all & barely had a cold to boot, whereas before that I spent almost all winter with colds. Might be worth a try?

I find gaining a few pounds during holiday, Christmas week etc, really easy. BUT.... I have always been able to shed it easily within a week or two. Consequently my weight has been super steady all these years. This is why it's just so bloody odd that I can't shift it & not only that, it's WHERE the weight is (lower stomach) that's just frustrating.

 

[LJsapphire]

I am so sorry to hear about your glorious hair. You may have followed my hair struggles in the past, so hearing other women struggling with theirs always pulls at my emotions. Fingers crossed it was just an upset or a late autumnal shed? One thing that has helped my hair shed less is daily Vit D. I had a pattern of shedding throughout autumn, so that every year by Christmas my hair was stringy, wispy & needed a good cut. Then the Dr found I was very Vit D deficient, and over the last 2 winters I haven't shed excessively at all & barely had a cold to boot, whereas before that I spent almost all winter with colds. Might be worth a try?

I find gaining a few pounds during holiday, Christmas week etc, really easy. BUT.... I have always been able to shed it easily within a week or two. Consequently my weight has been super steady all these years. This is why it's just so bloody odd that I can't shift it & not only that, it's WHERE the weight is (lower stomach) that's just frustrating.

Thank you, I should probably try vitamin D and some supplements, I notice it in winter especially with my mood.
Yes, it is the lower stomach for me too. My tummy was always pretty flat, and my hips were my problem area. But I look back at when I was younger and I thought I was big, but I wasn't at all.

 

[Ally T]

Thank you, I should probably try vitamin D and some supplements, I notice it in winter especially with my mood.
Yes, it is the lower stomach for me too. My tummy was always pretty flat, and my hips were my problem area. But I look back at when I was younger and I thought I was big, but I wasn't at all.

Me too! My tummy has always been flat, but now I can literally grab the wobbly bit below my belly button. It's depressing. And yes, I see my 30 year old self, or even 40 year old self, in pictures & the first thing I think is wow, I looked SO good when at the time, I would have been self conscious

 

[missy]

And yes, I see my 30 year old self, or even 40 year old self, in pictures & the first thing I think is wow, I looked SO good when at the time, I would have been self conscious

This is so true. I have learned to appreciate each age because we will never be as young as we are today. When I look back on how silly I was when I was in my 20s never letting people take pics of me and in fact Greg and I took zero pics on our honeymoon (my idea) and we had no video during our wedding. Because I was self conscious and didn't like looking at photos of me, let alone video. (Plus I didn't want a videographer following us around during the wedding) -How foolish I was. The few pics I do have I am like, damn, I looked so pretty and young. Youth is beauty. And youth is wasted on the young or something like that.

Enjoy each age, each decade because you will never be younger than you are right now.

Also remember that with each decade there is a different type of beauty. A mature beauty that we should embrace. Growing old gracefully has its benefits. IMO.

 

[Ally T]

This is so true. I have learned to appreciate each age because we will never be as young as we are today. When I look back on how silly I was when I was in my 20s never letting people take pics of me and in fact Greg and I took zero pics on our honeymoon (my idea) and we had no video during our wedding. Because I was self conscious and didn't like looking at photos of me, let alone video. (Plus I didn't want a videographer following us around during the wedding) -How foolish I was. The few pics I do have I am like, damn, I looked so pretty and young. Youth is beauty. And youth is wasted on the young or something like that.

Enjoy each age, each decade because you will never be younger than you are right now.

Also remember that with each decade there is a different type of beauty. A mature beauty that we should embrace. Growing old gracefully has its benefits. IMO.

You say the loveliest things

And of course, you are absolutely right. I hardly ever let Mr T take my picture with the girls when they were little because of how fat I thought I would look. And there ARE pictures obviously, but goodness me I look so fit & strong & toned! He always says my brain is weird & I look great - maybe he's right. Though at the moment when i catch sight of myself in a mirror or window, i don't like it & i can genuinely see why. I have a Mum Tum. I have been super active & made ready healthy choices over the last few days - got to start somewhere!

 

[Ally T]

As an update, on Thursday afternoon I have a telephone appointment with my Dr. I am going to request hormone testing, T3, T4, TSH, ferritin & full BC.

They are still not doing face to face appointments here due to Covid, but i will be able to get the blood referral & see the Practice Nurse to get sorted.

Since I started this thread last month, my hair has started shedding YET AGAIN very noticeably & I am struggling to get to sleep each night, despite being dog tired & then sleeping like the dead once I have finally nodded off. But this isn't happening until anywhere between 1 & 3am.

I'm trying to stay upbeat & have been running every day lately, but I'm definitely fighting a teary, low mood right now

 

[missy]

As an update, on Thursday afternoon I have a telephone appointment with my Dr. I am going to request hormone testing, T3, T4, TSH, ferritin & full BC.

They are still not doing face to face appointments here due to Covid, but i will be able to get the blood referral & see the Practice Nurse to get sorted.

Since I started this thread last month, my hair has started shedding YET AGAIN very noticeably & I am struggling to get to sleep each night, despite being dog tired & then sleeping like the dead once I have finally nodded off. But this isn't happening until anywhere between 1 & 3am.

I'm trying to stay upbeat & have been running every day lately, but I'm definitely fighting a teary, low mood right now

Alex, first of all I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Second of all I’m glad you’re getting blood work done.

Did I mention LDN (low dose Naltrexone) to you? I might have started a thread on it. Can’t remember. It allows me to fall asleep so easily. Though I can’t stay asleep but that’s hormonal for me. Anyway lmk if you’re interested in more info. It can be helpful for some of us with AI issues including Hashimoto’s. (((Hugs))).

 

[Ally T]

Alex, first of all I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Second of all I’m glad you’re getting blood work done.

Did I mention LDN (low dose Naltrexone) to you? I might have started a thread on it. Can’t remember. It allows me to fall asleep so easily. Though I can’t stay asleep but that’s hormonal for me. Anyway lmk if you’re interested in more info. It can be helpful for some of us with AI issues including Hashimoto’s. (((Hugs))).

Thank you, dear Missy. Trying to stay happy & fun, but it's hard. Have arranged to see a friend tomorrow afternoon for coffee in her garden. She is my age but officially began perimenopause at 42 - she had really weird & sudden health issues that they investigated, which boiled down to hormones being massively out of kilter. She has been very open on social media about her vast symptoms & struggles, and 4 years on she is now in a much happier place. A bit of reassurance from her would be great.

 

[doberman]

This is so true. I have learned to appreciate each age because we will never be as young as we are today. When I look back on how silly I was when I was in my 20s never letting people take pics of me and in fact Greg and I took zero pics on our honeymoon (my idea) and we had no video during our wedding. Because I was self conscious and didn't like looking at photos of me, let alone video. (Plus I didn't want a videographer following us around during the wedding) -How foolish I was. The few pics I do have I am like, damn, I looked so pretty and young. Youth is beauty. And youth is wasted on the young or something like that.

Enjoy each age, each decade because you will never be younger than you are right now.

Also remember that with each decade there is a different type of beauty. A mature beauty that we should embrace. Growing old gracefully has its benefits. IMO.

Amen to growing old gracefully - and not being mean to younger women. I was a waitress in college and there were some middle aged women who would come in loaded for bear. I told myself I would never be like this. What I get now is Look at Doberman! Can't you see how beautiful she must have been when she was young?"

I laughed til I cried on that one.

 

[Ally T]

Hi ladies! I wanted to revive this thread & ask those of you who have kept a steady weight or even lost weight in mid to late 40's whilst fighting a hormonal slog, how many calories each day do you try to stick to?

I have been using the My Fitness Pal App since March & whilst I initially lost a few pounds, I've been stagnant ever since. My app gives me 1,800 cals per day, so this morning I've just reduced it to 1,500 per day. My husband thinks this sounds like a sensible idea given my exercise efforts are no longer having any effect. Something has to give, right?

I am 47 now & still OK from a symptoms point of view. In Aug last year after I last posted in this thread, I had a whole slew of bloods (she took 6 tubes!) & my hormones levels are obviously very off. Apart from aching feet when I run, aching hands (aching everything really) hair loss & EVERYTHING is dry, I am doing ok. No flushes, night sweats, anxiety or low mood. I occasionally get other symptoms come & go, such as a burning mouth or itchy skin, but they never last long enough to bother me. Due to family history of breast cancer, of which I also had a scare last month & was sent for urgent mammogram & ultrasound but thankfully all was OK, my GP recommended a whole heap of supplements & advised me to include more soy, pulses, beans etc to my diet, so that I can try to avoid HRT. And they have worked a treat, really - I'm doing great so far

But the weight....... I was at a garden party last Saturday with my brothers family & ended up on the trampoline after one glass too many. My SIL filmed me & put it on our family messaging app & whilst it's really rather funny, I look like a slightly plumper version of myself bouncing up & down. I realise bouncing on a trampoline is never going to be flattering, but it made me quite upset to see what I now look like. I'm OK with aging & don't expect to still look 25, but I work dam hard to keep fit & strong, so when I saw it I thought what is the actual point of my efforts?!

So how many calories do you eat & does it help?

 

[missy]

Hi ladies! I wanted to revive this thread & ask those of you who have kept a steady weight or even lost weight in mid to late 40's whilst fighting a hormonal slog, how many calories each day do you try to stick to?

I have been using the My Fitness Pal App since March & whilst I initially lost a few pounds, I've been stagnant ever since. My app gives me 1,800 cals per day, so this morning I've just reduced it to 1,500 per day. My husband thinks this sounds like a sensible idea given my exercise efforts are no longer having any effect. Something has to give, right?

I am 47 now & still OK from a symptoms point of view. In Aug last year after I last posted in this thread, I had a whole slew of bloods (she took 6 tubes!) & my hormones levels are obviously very off. Apart from aching feet when I run, aching hands (aching everything really) hair loss & EVERYTHING is dry, I am doing ok. No flushes, night sweats, anxiety or low mood. I occasionally get other symptoms come & go, such as a burning mouth or itchy skin, but they never last long enough to bother me. Due to family history of breast cancer, of which I also had a scare last month & was sent for urgent mammogram & ultrasound but thankfully all was OK, my GP recommended a whole heap of supplements & advised me to include more soy, pulses, beans etc to my diet, so that I can try to avoid HRT. And they have worked a treat, really - I'm doing great so far

But the weight....... I was at a garden party last Saturday with my brothers family & ended up on the trampoline after one glass too many. My SIL filmed me & put it on our family messaging app & whilst it's really rather funny, I look like a slightly plumper version of myself bouncing up & down. I realise bouncing on a trampoline is never going to be flattering, but it made me quite upset to see what I now look like. I'm OK with aging & don't expect to still look 25, but I work dam hard to keep fit & strong, so when I saw it I thought what is the actual point of my efforts?!

So how many calories do you eat & does it help?

Dear @Alex T I find it (personally) not helpful to track my calories. I get that many people do find it helpful though. As you might (or might not) remember I had to gain weight recently due to being too thin and it was adversely affecting my health.

What works for me now is counting my protein intake as for bone health one must eat 1.6 grams of protein per kg which is about 80-85 grams of protein for me. No easy feat but I am glad to say I am doing it and have been doing this for at least 6 months or so. And I successfully have gained 16 lbs healthfully and lift weights to build muscle which weighs more than fat.

I am sharing this because it works both ways. To gain or lose healthfully/safely one must eat sufficient calories (to keep the metabolism going) and eat nutritious food. I used to enjoy being thin but good health is most important and to that end making sure is getting sufficient calories and nutrition and working out is key. Building muscle burns more calories too.

I think you are beautiful inside and out. And while I get it can be distressing to see photos of oneself (omg no one would look good jumping up and down on a trampoline lol!) and not reach your goals of "perfection" I would urge you to be kinder to yourself. Realize how beautiful you are just the way you are. Good health trumps being thin. Plus as we age a few extra pounds can soften the wrinkles on one's face. Something to keep in mind.

But to answer part of your question (sorry for the long tangent) the way I maintain(ed) my weight through the decades is to be active (cardio plus weights), eat healthfully, and don't deny yourself something you really want. Have it in moderation. If you deny yourself let's say chocolate it could backfire and you might eat more of something else that isn't good. I say enjoy the chocolate. Savor it. Just do it in moderation.

FWIW I think 1500 calorie is too low. I don't know your weight (not asking) and of course that has something to do with how many calories you need to maintain your weight but 1500 does sound low to me.

((((((Hugs)))))))) to you Alex.

 

[Ally T]

Dear @Alex T I find it (personally) not helpful to track my calories. I get that many people do find it helpful though. As you might (or might not) remember I had to gain weight recently due to being too thin and it was adversely affecting my health.

What works for me now is counting my protein intake as for bone health one must eat 1.6 grams of protein per kg which is about 80-85 grams of protein for me. No easy feat but I am glad to say I am doing it and have been doing this for at least 6 months or so. And I successfully have gained 16 lbs healthfully and lift weights to build muscle which weighs more than fat.

I am sharing this because it works both ways. To gain or lose healthfully/safely one must eat sufficient calories (to keep the metabolism going) and eat nutritious food. I used to enjoy being thin but good health is most important and to that end making sure is getting sufficient calories and nutrition and working out is key. Building muscle burns more calories too.

I think you are beautiful inside and out. And while I get it can be distressing to see photos of oneself (omg no one would look good jumping up and down on a trampoline lol!) and not reach your goals of "perfection" I would urge you to be kinder to yourself. Realize how beautiful you are just the way you are. Good health trumps being thin. Plus as we age a few extra pounds can soften the wrinkles on one's face. Something to keep in mind.

But to answer part of your question (sorry for the long tangent) the way I maintain(ed) my weight through the decades is to be active (cardio plus weights), eat healthfully, and don't deny yourself something you really want. Have it in moderation. If you deny yourself let's say chocolate it could backfire and you might eat more of something else that isn't good. I say enjoy the chocolate. Savor it. Just do it in moderation.

FWIW I think 1500 calorie is too low. I don't know your weight (not asking) and of course that has something to do with how many calories you need to maintain your weight but 1500 does sound low to me.

((((((Hugs)))))))) to you Alex.

Thanks, gorgeous. I know the struggles you've had & it's not been easy for you.

But also you have a point & really echoed what my Dr said, in that right now the most important thing is to maintain my health & fitness. She said with time & settling hormones, my weight should stabilise again, so for now to focus on keeping good cardio exercise & improving strength. I am doing all I can, so this is why I find a little bit of extra weight frustrating, I guess.

I have never upped my protein so perhaps I should look into doing that - thank you for the tip. It does sound like a LOT to include with your meals, but I think generally upping it at this stage (without weighing etc), might be a good place to start for me.

Thank you & you guys stay well over there x

 

[partgypsy]

Hey I wanted to give an update. Last summer (2020) I had a routine mammogram and was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully it appears they caught it early, and I had surgery (biopsy plus 2 surgeries) and radiation. I experienced a lot of physical changes this year. I went off oral contraceptives which resulted in night sweats and insomnia (helped with time and oxycontin). After the surgery had loss of mobility, weakness in the arm next to the surgery, maybe from cutting of nerves from sentile node biopsy, also radiation changes making the chest area feel "tighter" (and lumpier) post radiation. In December I was put on tamoxifen. The first month or so my joints ached a lot, also night sweats/insomnia, and overall feeling "old", but that has evened out over time. I do feel more "creaky" than I used to. I am glad in retrospect my whole life chose low impact exercises like walking and swimming over running, because even though I can feel my hip, knees when I'm moving, I can still be pretty active. Looks. Because of having a mid-life crisis of both divorce where my ex never really took photos of me (I was the family photographer) and cancer diagnosis, I ended up posting some (safe for work) pics on reddit. And I was blown away by the response (especially from younger guys). It was a good validation, and made me realize we can be our own worst critic. Yes I can still see all the wobbly parts of my body, etc but it's LIFE. And as my MIL says, even if you are the same weight, things move south.
Where am I going with this? I am thankful for being alive and in reasonable health, and health/function is more important than "beauty". Being happy with oneself brings its own kind of beauty. And being productive and having quality time with the people you love, is more valuable than appearances. Appearances in all sense of the word. How you visually look. What kind of "life" you present to others or want people to think of you. It's just not that important.

 

[HollyJane]

The short answer to your question is yes.

I agree with adding weight lifting to your exercise routine. No, you won't "bulk up" if that's what you are worried about.

 

[Ally T]

Hey I wanted to give an update. Last summer (2020) I had a routine mammogram and was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully it appears they caught it early, and I had surgery (biopsy plus 2 surgeries) and radiation. I experienced a lot of physical changes this year. I went off oral contraceptives which resulted in night sweats and insomnia (helped with time and oxycontin). After the surgery had loss of mobility, weakness in the arm next to the surgery, maybe from cutting of nerves from sentile node biopsy, also radiation changes making the chest area feel "tighter" (and lumpier) post radiation. In December I was put on tamoxifen. The first month or so my joints ached a lot, also night sweats/insomnia, and overall feeling "old", but that has evened out over time. I do feel more "creaky" than I used to. I am glad in retrospect my whole life chose low impact exercises like walking and swimming over running, because even though I can feel my hip, knees when I'm moving, I can still be pretty active. Looks. Because of having a mid-life crisis of both divorce where my ex never really took photos of me (I was the family photographer) and cancer diagnosis, I ended up posting some (safe for work) pics on reddit. And I was blown away by the response (especially from younger guys). It was a good validation, and made me realize we can be our own worst critic. Yes I can still see all the wobbly parts of my body, etc but it's LIFE. And as my MIL says, even if you are the same weight, things move south.
Where am I going with this? I am thankful for being alive and in reasonable health, and health/function is more important than "beauty". Being happy with oneself brings its own kind of beauty. And being productive and having quality time with the people you love, is more valuable than appearances. Appearances in all sense of the word. How you visually look. What kind of "life" you present to others or want people to think of you. It's just not that important.

You are a Warrior & you have just now, in one single post, put life & a stupid bit of belly fat into perspective. I am SO glad you are recovering well from your surgery & have found your vibe with life.

When I found my breast indentation a few weeks ago, all other thoughts about wobbly bits went out of the window. Both Mr T & I were terrified & all consumed. I even overheard him on the phone telling his mother, by the end of which he was in tears. Thankfully for me, it was just a hardened ligament & I joke that even my tits are getting old & drying up, but that's because of the sheer bloody relief.

It's just a little bit of weight. I am happy, fit, strong & healthy, which as you point out is all that is really important.

Huge hugs to you, lady! Go get those younger sexy men!