Koi assisted birth

[anchor31]

Love your pond, DF. Will they give my bub to the surface once he's out? (kidding, I'm not even preggo)

 

[Dancing Fire]

ladies,i almost forgot that i also have a measuring tub to measure your baby after you give birth...

 

[ImperfectGirl]

ladies,i almost forgot that i also have a measuring tub to measure your baby after you give birth...

This will really come in handy!

btw, lovely pond DF

 

[centralsquare]

You should open up a koi birthing center in your pond...seems you have the right tools (such as measuring devices)!

 

[maplefemme]

..ladies,my koi are ready to assist when you give birth...

*ROAR*!

 

[platinumrock]

Haha

 

[Dancing Fire]

i can also check your baby for parasites with my microscope...

 

[centralsquare]

Well, there shouldn't be many parasites to see, since they sterilized with Potassium Permanganate (followed byhydrogen peroxide)

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

OMG I LOVE the "Animal Relationship Councilor" advertisement at the end of the FAQ.

Those poor koi are going to need some counseling after that trauma!

 

[Circe]

..ladies,my koi are ready to assist when you give birth...

It's the photo of the net that makes it for me. DF, expect me in November.

 

[Dancing Fire]

..ladies,my koi are ready to assist when you give birth...

It's the photo of the net that makes it for me. DF, expect me in November.

Circe...my koi will be ready for ya!!
FYI...the net is 29" in diameter just in case you have a HUGE baby..

 

[somethingshiny]

Well, we're glad to know you also have the net in case the Koi aren't as dependable as we hope.

 

[Indylady]

Bahaha hilarious.

 

[oobiecoo]

Its definitely a joke... http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1318193/sharing-my-koi-assisted-waterbirth-plans

 

[MonkeyPie]

Its definitely a joke... http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1318193/sharing-my-koi-assisted-waterbirth-plans

There are some very angry mama's on that board. Wow.

 

[centralsquare]

Its definitely a joke... http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1318193/sharing-my-koi-assisted-waterbirth-plans

There are some very angry mama's on that board. Wow.

What's so hard to understand is that it is so clearly referred to as a joke and then a poster comes in with a "are you crazy" post. Must not read the others...

 

[somethingshiny]

Thanks for linking, oobie!

That's still hilarious.

Seriously, what kind of fruit loop thinks that this is degrading the human experience of giving birth. Women giving birth has happened for millenia. WE get it. Why not have a little fun? I think people with no sense of humor are lowest on my list.

 

[Tuckins1]

WTF, can this be real?!?

 

[kas baby]

Its definitely a joke... http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1318193/sharing-my-koi-assisted-waterbirth-plans

has anyone heard of the "dolphin assisted birth" that a few of them reference? I mean, to each their own, but how in the world would that even work? hmmmm, lol

 

[chemgirl]

Its definitely a joke... http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1318193/sharing-my-koi-assisted-waterbirth-plans

has anyone heard of the "dolphin assisted birth" that a few of them reference? I mean, to each their own, but how in the world would that even work? hmmmm, lol

Apparently there's a Penn and Teller Bull***t episode about it! I'm disappointed that I can't find it on Netflix because I am really clueless about how it would work and I find their show hilarious. A synopsis I found online says that you're supposed to give birth in the ocean and the dolphins are there for support and "healing power." Its supposed to be a "harmonious" and "painless" natural birth. Um...

 

[pregcurious]

Forget about the koi. What about the poor kid? He/she is going to come into this world thinking he/she is a tadpole.