VRBeauty|1415851507|3782472 said:
Lizabeth|1415852855|3782482 said:
KaeKae|1415860918|3782526 said:
KaeKae|1415860918|3782526 said:
Circe|1415854954|3782500 said:Lizabeth - you're right, but I'm going to throw this out not for the OP, but for the regular posters who are lucky enough not to have had this crap happen.
When I was 22, I was out at a bar with friends, dancing. Some guy started dancing near me, and then with me ... and then he kissed me. And I was so remarkably grossed out that I ran home and washed my mouth out with rubbing alcohol. Yes, seriously. BTW, don't ever do that: Listerine is just as hygienic, considerably less painful. But I was really grossed out.
Now, I'm sure some of the posters here are going to believe that by being in a bar, by drinking, by dancing, by not maintaining a magical force field or teleporting when a strange man came within three feet of me, I encouraged his behavior.
I encourage those people to remove their heads from their sphincters.
I feel really sorry for this girl, frankly. "Flirting" is a really broad category: for some people, it encompasses just talking to a member of the opposite gender. It doesn't sound like she had any interest in engaging in any hanky-panky with the dude in the bar: it sounds like she was surprised. People are, when strangers do completely inappropriate things. And, OP (even if I do think you're fictional), if you're usually as judgmental as you came off in your first post, I don't blame her a bit for being hesitant to tell you. Considering how much crap you projected onto her when you thought she didn't like the ring ... yeesh, no wonder she felt nervous about telling you something with this much potential for victim-blame-y bull-pucky.
Bottom line: I don't think it's a coincidence most the people who think OP's reaction sounds reasonable are gentlemen. I'd assume it's a privilege and a delight not to have to worry about, a) that kind of nonsense, or, b) being blamed for having "provoked" it by doing things like wearing clothes, being out in public, existing. QuietlySW, Distracts, Mrs. Blop, DS ... cosign. Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm out.
End of.
Yes. The running 8 blocks without a jacket in 20 degree temps got me thinking this was a romance novel. I have a hard time imagining any guy doing that. Like, why?Lizabeth|1415852855|3782482 said:
Circe|1415854954|3782500 said:Lizabeth - you're right, but I'm going to throw this out not for the OP, but for the regular posters who are lucky enough not to have had this crap happen.
When I was 22, I was out at a bar with friends, dancing. Some guy started dancing near me, and then with me ... and then he kissed me. And I was so remarkably grossed out that I ran home and washed my mouth out with rubbing alcohol. Yes, seriously. BTW, don't ever do that: Listerine is just as hygienic, considerably less painful. But I was really grossed out.
Now, I'm sure some of the posters here are going to believe that by being in a bar, by drinking, by dancing, by not maintaining a magical force field or teleporting when a strange man came within three feet of me, I encouraged his behavior.
I encourage those people to remove their heads from their sphincters.
I feel really sorry for this girl, frankly. "Flirting" is a really broad category: for some people, it encompasses just talking to a member of the opposite gender. It doesn't sound like she had any interest in engaging in any hanky-panky with the dude in the bar: it sounds like she was surprised. People are, when strangers do completely inappropriate things. And, OP (even if I do think you're fictional), if you're usually as judgmental as you came off in your first post, I don't blame her a bit for being hesitant to tell you. Considering how much crap you projected onto her when you thought she didn't like the ring ... yeesh, no wonder she felt nervous about telling you something with this much potential for victim-blame-y bull-pucky.
Bottom line: I don't think it's a coincidence most the people who think OP's reaction sounds reasonable are gentlemen. I'd assume it's a privilege and a delight not to have to worry about, a) that kind of nonsense, or, b) being blamed for having "provoked" it by doing things like wearing clothes, being out in public, existing. QuietlySW, Distracts, Mrs. Blop, DS ... cosign. Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm out.
Circe|1415854954|3782500 said:Lizabeth - you're right, but I'm going to throw this out not for the OP, but for the regular posters who are lucky enough not to have had this crap happen.
When I was 22, I was out at a bar with friends, dancing. Some guy started dancing near me, and then with me ... and then he kissed me. And I was so remarkably grossed out that I ran home and washed my mouth out with rubbing alcohol. Yes, seriously. BTW, don't ever do that: Listerine is just as hygienic, considerably less painful. But I was really grossed out.
Now, I'm sure some of the posters here are going to believe that by being in a bar, by drinking, by dancing, by not maintaining a magical force field or teleporting when a strange man came within three feet of me, I encouraged his behavior.
I encourage those people to remove their heads from their sphincters.
I feel really sorry for this girl, frankly. "Flirting" is a really broad category: for some people, it encompasses just talking to a member of the opposite gender. It doesn't sound like she had any interest in engaging in any hanky-panky with the dude in the bar: it sounds like she was surprised. People are, when strangers do completely inappropriate things. And, OP (even if I do think you're fictional), if you're usually as judgmental as you came off in your first post, I don't blame her a bit for being hesitant to tell you. Considering how much crap you projected onto her when you thought she didn't like the ring ... yeesh, no wonder she felt nervous about telling you something with this much potential for victim-blame-y bull-pucky.
Bottom line: I don't think it's a coincidence most the people who think OP's reaction sounds reasonable are gentlemen. I'd assume it's a privilege and a delight not to have to worry about, a) that kind of nonsense, or, b) being blamed for having "provoked" it by doing things like wearing clothes, being out in public, existing. QuietlySW, Distracts, Mrs. Blop, DS ... cosign. Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm out.
SB621|1415886399|3782618 said:Circe|1415854954|3782500 said:Lizabeth - you're right, but I'm going to throw this out not for the OP, but for the regular posters who are lucky enough not to have had this crap happen.
When I was 22, I was out at a bar with friends, dancing. Some guy started dancing near me, and then with me ... and then he kissed me. And I was so remarkably grossed out that I ran home and washed my mouth out with rubbing alcohol. Yes, seriously. BTW, don't ever do that: Listerine is just as hygienic, considerably less painful. But I was really grossed out.
Now, I'm sure some of the posters here are going to believe that by being in a bar, by drinking, by dancing, by not maintaining a magical force field or teleporting when a strange man came within three feet of me, I encouraged his behavior.
I encourage those people to remove their heads from their sphincters.
I feel really sorry for this girl, frankly. "Flirting" is a really broad category: for some people, it encompasses just talking to a member of the opposite gender. It doesn't sound like she had any interest in engaging in any hanky-panky with the dude in the bar: it sounds like she was surprised. People are, when strangers do completely inappropriate things. And, OP (even if I do think you're fictional), if you're usually as judgmental as you came off in your first post, I don't blame her a bit for being hesitant to tell you. Considering how much crap you projected onto her when you thought she didn't like the ring ... yeesh, no wonder she felt nervous about telling you something with this much potential for victim-blame-y bull-pucky.
Bottom line: I don't think it's a coincidence most the people who think OP's reaction sounds reasonable are gentlemen. I'd assume it's a privilege and a delight not to have to worry about, a) that kind of nonsense, or, b) being blamed for having "provoked" it by doing things like wearing clothes, being out in public, existing. QuietlySW, Distracts, Mrs. Blop, DS ... cosign. Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm out.
+ plus 5 or is it 6 now on the call about Troll! I can't believe anyone would take this seriously
mn_shopaholic|1415885006|3782612 said:Circe|1415854954|3782500 said:Lizabeth - you're right, but I'm going to throw this out not for the OP, but for the regular posters who are lucky enough not to have had this crap happen.
When I was 22, I was out at a bar with friends, dancing. Some guy started dancing near me, and then with me ... and then he kissed me. And I was so remarkably grossed out that I ran home and washed my mouth out with rubbing alcohol. Yes, seriously. BTW, don't ever do that: Listerine is just as hygienic, considerably less painful. But I was really grossed out.
Now, I'm sure some of the posters here are going to believe that by being in a bar, by drinking, by dancing, by not maintaining a magical force field or teleporting when a strange man came within three feet of me, I encouraged his behavior.
I encourage those people to remove their heads from their sphincters.
I feel really sorry for this girl, frankly. "Flirting" is a really broad category: for some people, it encompasses just talking to a member of the opposite gender. It doesn't sound like she had any interest in engaging in any hanky-panky with the dude in the bar: it sounds like she was surprised. People are, when strangers do completely inappropriate things. And, OP (even if I do think you're fictional), if you're usually as judgmental as you came off in your first post, I don't blame her a bit for being hesitant to tell you. Considering how much crap you projected onto her when you thought she didn't like the ring ... yeesh, no wonder she felt nervous about telling you something with this much potential for victim-blame-y bull-pucky.
Bottom line: I don't think it's a coincidence most the people who think OP's reaction sounds reasonable are gentlemen. I'd assume it's a privilege and a delight not to have to worry about, a) that kind of nonsense, or, b) being blamed for having "provoked" it by doing things like wearing clothes, being out in public, existing. QuietlySW, Distracts, Mrs. Blop, DS ... cosign. Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm out.
This is one of those times I wish PS had a like button. I thought about replying to this topic last night, but Circe said it so much better than I could have.
Several years ago, I was out with friends and had something similar happen to me except without the dancing. This was someone I had met before (my friend knew him) - I wasn't interested romantically/sexually in him and I assumed he felt the same and I was under the impression based on something he said that he was seeing someone. I'm also not the perky / bubbly / flirty type - I've been accused of being rude for not wanting to socialize outside my immediate group when I've been out with friends due to not wanting to be misconstrued as interested in something/someone I'm not interested in.
Given that it was December in MN, I highly doubt I was wearing anything too revealing and the most that could be said re: flirting is that I might have been less guarded than usual being excited about a 3 week trip to Europe I had coming up and believing he was involved with someone and just hanging out with our group because of mutual acquaintances. Next thing I know though, his tongue was down my throat.
I was single at the time, but I was absolutely mortified/disgusted on many levels. I hate the idea that someone can't just be out with their friends having a good time without it being perceived as an invitation for more. I also don't like the idea of blame automatically being assigned to someone because of another party's actions upon them and with only one side of the story being heard - not cool.
I don't have any comments directly for the OP or advice (though I would ditto what VRBeauty and Gypsy said based on the info at hand), but just wanted to re-iterate that sometimes these things happen without consent or invitation and we don't always know (sometimes until a little too late) exactly what another person's intentions are. Best we can do is to learn from these experiences and move on; hopefully without becoming too jaded.
Asscherhalo_lover|1415891454|3782649 said:Lol I called troll after the second post, that's why I didn't bother posting again until now, I'm glad I'm not the only one troll troll troll!
And now, after hearing everything else that she has done...let's just say that I do believe that everything happens for a reason, so like you and other have mentioned, I'm glad this all played out now rather than later.
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