Just gave him back the ring

[happydreams]

so sorry to hear that!

 

[tlh]

I just wanted to give you a hug. It is hard to be the one to end things, it takes a lot of strength and courage. My heart is with you right now.

 

[purplediamond]

 

[Dreamgirl]

I''m so sorry to hear about that. But if you felt like it wasn''t right, then I think you did the right thing by ending it. Especially when you have your children involved.

**HUGS**

 

[ms.halo]

Good for you.

Treat yourself well and remember to do a few nice things for yourself each week.

 

[dragonfly411]

I wish you the best. I''m sorry you are sad, but I''m glad you are doing what is right for you!

 

[elrohwen]

I''m so sorry, Winks Elf! {{hugs}} I''m sure it wasn''t an easy decision, but if you were having panic attacks about it, I''m sure it''s the right decision. I''m proud of you for being strong enough to know wht decision was the right one for you.

 

[Squirrly]

oh winks, i''m so sorry you have to go through this, but it certainly sounds like you made the best decision for you and your kids. *hugs* i hope you''re feeling alright and that you and your kids are able to take some time with what''s left of this summer and have some fun, they''re lucky to have a great mom like you!

 

[bee*]

Sorry to hear that Winks-sending hugs.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Thank you. My ex is not taking it very well. He keeps calling, crying, is not sleeping, etc. He called at 6 this morning, while standing outside his sister''s house. He said he needed to go to the hospital because he had not slept in 4 days, couldn''t breathe, and his arms and legs felt funny. I feel bad for him, but honestly my first gut reaction was this just reiterates some of my reasons for the breakup. I don''t see him as mentally stable, and I need a strong man. I was not unkind to him on the phone though. When he calls I do talk to him, but I stand by my decision. I hate to say it, but I have a feeling he''s heading towards a hospital stay.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/10/2009 5:59:28 PM
Author: decodelighted
*HUG*

What a tough thing to go through ... I'm glad you listened to your inner (nagging) voice despite the initial pain from breaking things off. Those voices are there to help us & I really believe that.

WISHING YOU MUCH PEACE & LOVE & STRENGTH & SERENITY.

Ditto, really sorry Melissa...

 

[SparklyLibra]

I have tremendous respect for you for standing up for not only yours, but your children''s AND his best interests. You already have the reasons why you made this decision. And I know you probably agonized over it for months. So to have come to this place, I''m sure that you are sure.

I know it must be difficult to see him like this, but what he doesn''t know is that this decision was also what''s best for him. You''ve set yourself, and him free to find the right partner for each of you. I''m sorry for your pain, because I know it was hard. Doing the right thing is sometimes the most difficult thing to do. I have so much respect for you, and I mean this on such a personal level you have no idea:

My husband''s ex had maaaaaajor religious differences with my now dh & her then fiance. She kept reassuring him that she wouldn''t let her beliefs come between them and that she was 10000% willing to compromise. He bought it. When the hype and the excitement of the wedding planning wore off and they were married, she pulled a MAJOR bait & switch, and MANY MANY problems ensued. Needless to say they ended up divorced, but there are kids involved, and my DH was traumatized for a good while, and it took him YEARS to find closure.

In my Dh situation, he was the one who couldn''t see that you can''t just pretend those major differences aren''t there. She knew just how much her religion meant to her, while he didn''t really have a clue. Melissa, in this situation, YOU are the one who has the wisdom to see that this would end in disaster, and you''ve been very responsible with that insight. He may be hurt now, but in the end you did yourself, your kids, and him, a world of good.

Blessings and Peace to you, and I KNOW that you''ll be rewarded for doing the right thing. (((((MANY HUGS))))

 

[chiapet]

Winks, my ex-DH is bipolar and the behavior that you mentioned (especially the part about having to stay in the hospital) sounds exactly like what he used to say whenever something doesn''t go his way. It was very difficult being married to someone with bipolar, especially when he refuses to take his medication and instead gets high all day. Your ex needs to take care of himself. You''re not responsible for his mental health.
I hope you and your kids are doing okay.

 

[UCLABelle]

Hugs...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I''ve been thinking about you, Winks. I''m afraid things might get worse before they get better, he sounds very desperate and is not strong enough not to lean on you. It''s very sad to see...and yet, it will only make you realize that leaving was the best decision. I feel for you and hope that with distance it will get easier!

 

[Haven]

Just wanted to say I''m thinking about you, Winks. You obviously made a choice that''s right for you, and I think you should be proud of how strong you are, and look forward to finding someone who is right for you.
Hugs.

 

[ringless]

Oh honey! So sorry! You did the right thing! HUGS!

 

[Little Monster]

Melissa,

I am so sorry

I know exactly how hard it can be to be in a relationship when mental illness is involved; one thing you have to remember is that you made the best decision for you & your children. You cannot change the differences between you & his current behavior & mental state is not a reason to stay. It may sound cruel, but he is an adult who needs to face his disease & become a strong person on his own.

Stay strong -- it sounds like you made a very difficult decision, but it''s the right one.

Hugs!

 

[bebe]

Big hugs to you Melissa. I feel as though I know you. So sorry you have to go through this heartache right now.
I''m sure you are making the right desicion, even as painful as it is. I hope your ex is ok.

 

[purelily]

Hi Winks_elf,

I''m so sorry to hear this. I hope things get better for you and your ex.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 7/14/2009 9:23:08 AM
Author: SparklyLibra
I have tremendous respect for you for standing up for not only yours, but your children''s AND his best interests. You already have the reasons why you made this decision. And I know you probably agonized over it for months. So to have come to this place, I''m sure that you are sure.

My husband''s ex had maaaaaajor religious differences with my now dh & her then fiance. She kept reassuring him that she wouldn''t let her beliefs come between them and that she was 10000% willing to compromise. He bought it. When the hype and the excitement of the wedding planning wore off and they were married, she pulled a MAJOR bait & switch, and MANY MANY problems ensued. Needless to say they ended up divorced, but there are kids involved, and my DH was traumatized for a good while, and it took him YEARS to find closure.

Blessings and Peace to you, and I KNOW that you''ll be rewarded for doing the right thing. (((((MANY HUGS))))

This is a very good point and it takes a brave and thoughtful woman to see past the glitz and glamour of the ''big day'' and look at the reality of their situation and do something about it.

''Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning''. That joy may not come tomorrow or the next day but it will come.

 

[cleokizzy]

sending a BIG HUG towards you right now... feel better

 

[Winks_Elf]

I''m actually doing fantastic, and haven''t heard from him in over 24 hours, so that''s progress!

 

[BlueSki231]

Wow this must be stressful to go through, even if you feel you made the right decision!
Glad to hear you are doing well.. or at least as well as can be expected

 

[Black Jade]

Best to you, Melissa It''s very hard but you''re doing the right thing.

 

[Amethyste]

sorry to hear this Melissa - but listening to the inner voice always proves right.

 

[UCLABelle]

Prayers and hugs to you!

 

[asscherisme]

I''m sorry to hear you are in pain and things did not work out as you want. However, I have the utmost RESPECT for you for having the courage to walk away and to recognize the red flags and do the best thing for you and your kids.

I made the mistake in my maraige of ignoring red flags when dating and engaged. Never never again will I ignore red flags and I will teach my kids the same thing.

 

[asscherisme]

Date: 7/14/2009 9:02:45 AM
Author: Winks_Elf
Thank you. My ex is not taking it very well. He keeps calling, crying, is not sleeping, etc. He called at 6 this morning, while standing outside his sister''s house. He said he needed to go to the hospital because he had not slept in 4 days, couldn''t breathe, and his arms and legs felt funny. I feel bad for him, but honestly my first gut reaction was this just reiterates some of my reasons for the breakup. I don''t see him as mentally stable, and I need a strong man. I was not unkind to him on the phone though. When he calls I do talk to him, but I stand by my decision. I hate to say it, but I have a feeling he''s heading towards a hospital stay.

Good for your for staying strong. And this is no role model for kids and you totally did the right thing.

No matter what happens with him at this point, please don''t feel guilty about it. He will try and make you feel guilty but its your job to protect yourself and your kids and you did the right thing.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 7/17/2009 9:34:32 PM
Author: Winks_Elf
I''m actually doing fantastic, and haven''t heard from him in over 24 hours, so that''s progress!

Good! That definitely means you''ve done what you KNOW is for the best, for you and your children.