JewelFreak, Tigathoes, and Me

[AGBF]

When I discovered the Hangout thread with the random photos and comments on "fur babies", I was enchanted. I started leaving messages all over the place in the thread the way a new poster sometimes does. The thread had been around for quite some time and many posters had had the time to talk with each other over a period of months. There was no need for them to check it daily. Nevertheless, I left a message there for Jewelfreak among the many things I posted. It's been weeks now and she never commented on what I wrote in that thread. Usually when I leave a comment for her in a thread (like Royal jewels) she responds. Sometimes when I just say something that I don't particularly think about, she responds. (I didn't mean to be funny, JewelFreak, but I am glad I entertained you. ) But I digress.

At any rate, in the fur babies thread, JewelFreak asked the owner of a Golden Retriever to check the pedigree of his dog, which had a redder coat than that which she usually sees nowadays, to see if there were any Tigathoes dogs in his pedigree.

The word, "Tigathoes" was an unusual one and rang a bell in my head. I thought that the sire of my late Golden Retriever had "Tigathoes" in his name and that his owner/breeder was well known. I started to do some research and found out a huge amount on Tigathoes Golden Retrievers and the champions among them. I saw photos of Evelyn "Torch" Flinn, who bred them (here in Connecticut) and read stories of people who had dogs from them going back to the 1950's.

My dog's sire was, indeed, a Tigathoes dog. I remember that they chose one of my neighbor's dogs, because she had such a pretty head, to be the dam. She was not big and was was not very red, but had a beautiful head. My dog had her beautiful head but was slightly larger and redder.

I do not have a lot of photos available to me right now, but I am posting one of my dog when she was about 12. I found this whole excursion into history fascinating.

AGBF

 

[JewelFreak]

WOW, DEB!! I'm sorry, I haven't checked the furbabies thread in ages!

What a GORGEOUS dog! Beautiful Torch Flinn head. Oh, I'm SO glad you followed up! Can't remember what I said about Torch. She was one of my very best friends of my entire life. She was about 35 yrs older than I & we lived next door to her in Greenwich. We were bosom buddies, wore a path in the pachysandra between our houses, walked in & hallooooed without knocking. Oh, how neat to see one of her dogs! She died, what, maybe 17 yrs ago & honestly, not a day goes by that I don't miss her & wish she were around. We talked about everything under the sun, and laughed & laughed, same sense of humor. She had a life someone should write a book about, many adventures.

Torch bred the old-fashioned wonderful, intelligent goldens. Beautiful conformation & health & temperament because they were true hunting retrievers & could perform their function with ease. She was profoundly devoted to her dogs & producing the best possible offspring. Her last dog, Jake, was her shadow, dearest friend, lived to old age despite a horrific spinal injury during a trial. He was a sweetheart & con artist and I loved him too. She could not see any reason to have Siberians, who don't hunt & never obey, but was completely fascinated by their wolf-like behaviors & cheery temperaments.

The name Tigathoe originated with her husband. When they moved to the place in Greenwich, 15 meadowed acres on the edge of water company-owned woods, with a reservoir, their first morning there, George looked around & sighed, "This is God's acres..." She took the 1st letters TIGA & to my chagrin, I can't remember how she arrived at the rest of it....but I always think of George, though he died before I met Torch, when I see her kennel name.

Torch snuck down & fished in the reservoir, where she had several encounters with the police because it was strictly a no-no -- but she gave generously to the police fund, so they cut her plenty of slack. After she died, her daughter & I spread her ashes in the water there -- at her request. Torch had said, "I used to eat the fish. The least I can do is return the favor." Typical. She died at her winter house in Florida of cancer & called me to say goodbye when she realized she wasn't gonna beat it. I am so grateful for our last lovely chat, at the end of which she said, "I have come to love you so much." I dittoed that in spades. She left me some money in her will, not a lot, just a remembrance -- when her nephew (executor) called to tell me that, I'm embarrassed to say I quavered, "Oh Michael!" & started to bawl on the phone. It was her way of saying "friends" again. What a good girl she was.

Oh gosh, I'm running on at the mouth, er, keyboard & I've made myself all misty. Hope I didn't put you to sleep! THANK YOU so much for the photo of your lovely beautiful Tigathoe honey. What a joy she must have been for you. You made my day, Deb!

--- Laurie

 

[AGBF]

Laurie,

I loved your wonderful description of your friendship with the legendary Torch Flinn! You have also given me a lot of really fascinating history that I otherwise would not have had.

Brit was a wonderful dog. Before I got Griffin, who is the ultimate gentle dog, I used to think that she was the most gentle dog in the world. Now I know that Griff is just as gentle, but his gentleness is inherent. Hers came with intelligence and spirit.

I have many stories about Brit. For a long time she could be enclosed on a large screened in porch with a doggie door out into a fenced area in our yard. We used to be able to go away for part of a day and leave her there. Then one day she discovered that she could fly through the screen. As other dog owners told me, once a dog discovers that, one can never again leave him on a screened porch. So from then on we took to leaving her in the fenced in area when the weather was good.

One day we came home and the dog was gone. At first I was afraid that someone had taken her...but she appears to have dug her way out. My husband and I had been with my parents visiting my brother in upstate Connecticut, but Brit didn't know that. She knew that we were always either at our house or my parents' house. So when my parents got home from dropping off my husband and me they found Brit on their front porch-a mile and a half away-all wet-waiting for them! We were never sure whether she took the bridge across the Mianus River or swam it. But I have looked up the pedigree of one of her full siblings, and he was a utility dog, tracking dog, Junior Hunter, and had a working certificate excellent (UDT,JH,WCX). So even though we never trained Brit, she definitely had "the right stuff" genetically to swim the river!

Deb

 

[yennyfire]

Laurie, I can't really comment on the Golden's that she bred/raised, other than to say that Deb's looks like a sweetheart, but I wanted to comment on your lovely recollection of your dear friend. I think when we each die, we would be lucky to be remembered so lovingly by another human being. It sounds like you had a special relationship...what a gift to one another and how wonderful that you were able to make a connection here on PS that brought that friendship to light.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Laurie, I got so choked up reading your tribute to your friend. She sounds like a wonderful person and a fun lady. I would have enjoyed meeting her. Your sweet recollections are a fitting tribute to her.

Brit, is a beautiful dog!

 

[JewelFreak]

Thank you, Yenny & Luv2Sparkle -- yeah, Torch was quite a pistol & a privilege to know & love. I'm lucky enough to have had a (very) few friends who were great treasures. I met the majority through dogs. Nothing like animals to bring out the best in people. To bring out the best people.

Deb, I'm SURE Brit swam the river! No Golden can resist water! In fact, their feet are webbed for that purpose. Brit sounds like a thinker, the hardest kind of dog to keep ahead of but with that wonderful Golden sweetness, trouble is somewhat tempered. Love the story of her escapes, though they can be scary, partly because a Golden will go happily along with absolutely anyone. Ours, when I was a teenager -- who, Torch & I discovered, was out of her lines -- gave his whole soul to everybody. He stayed with friends when we went away, and far from being lonely & distressed there, he loved them up exactly as he did us. One night, his head on Bob's lap as he gazed up adoringly, Bob remarked, "Curly, you have all the loyalty of a whore!" Too true, lol.

Torch did not have an easy life; plenty of heartbreak. Her oldest child, a son, had some sort of mental troubles -- I think now he was autistic, from her descriptions. He could not deal with unpredictability in any form & therefore lived in a facility where they provided him the total regularity he needed; any form of family life upset him terribly, and in fact, according to his sister he never quite took in that his mother had died. Her youngest daughter was an expert horse rider who competed & rode constantly. Unbelievably, she fell going over a fence & was killed at 18. Torch didn't talk about her often but when she did, the pain had obviously not lessened over 30 years. That left one more daughter -- who got deeply into drugs at a Greenwich private school, spent a long time in the grip of heavy stuff. She had been clean & sober for many years -- I liked her almost as much as her mother, great woman. We had a lot of laughs together too. Torch's husband built his father's construction company into a big very successful entity. His life ended with Alzheimer's, I think somewhat young for it. Torch cared for him at home, by herself without help, as he lost his mind. She told me that for six long years until he died she did not once go anywhere outside the house -- she didn't dare leave him alone. I said, "Oh, Torch, why didn't you get someone to spell you?" Standing straight as an arrow, she answered, "Because I promised him I'd always be there."

She never lost her incredible enthusiasm & energy for living, through all that. I often wished I had her neurotransmitters. She spent a month one summer in her late 70s up at UConn, taking courses for fun. Though she had only lovely handicapped Jake as her own, she trained & handled others' dogs in field trials (to ribbons of course) & was always active to the end in those clubs.

The word I think of about her is "Young." Her world never got boring or old. An example that still cracks me up: driving down North St., I passed a house I'd always liked, a Spanish-style stucco mansion. It was undergoing renovation & I saw the door wide open & nobody about, so, loving houses, I went in to have a look. Nothing to see, gutted to the studs. I started for the back door to look at the pool & gardens, until I encountered on the step the BIGGEST spider I'd ever seen. I HATE HATE spiders! This gorilla was the size of a dinner plate, dark brown, & hairy as a dog. I backed out slowly -- if it had moved, I would've had to be put in a straitjacket, ugh! Mentioned it to Torch later & her face lit up. "Oh my gosh, wonderful!" she crowed, "You should capture it in a jar & take it to the Audubon Society to find out what kind it is!" Chills ran up my spine at the thought. "YOU put him in a jar & tell me all about it from a long distance!" Yuck. She laughed & said I was a disappointing coward. Yeah, and proud of it!

Here are a couple photos.

Hiking in her woods. (Took myself out because it's the WORST pic ever of me!) Torch has Jake with her. She mourned his death as she would a child. He was her child, the last of her breeding. Jake was a peach of a soul.



Summer dinner on our patio. (DH behind the camera.) My darling Star under the table waiting for tidbits to drop from heaven. I loved not needing pretense with Torch; she was down to earth. If either of us asked the other over, we felt no hesitation to say, "Gosh, I just want to stay home tonight, no thanks." Rare freedom.

Well, that's enough boring stuff. I got going & should've hung up a thousand words ago. Thank you again, Deb, for the photo of beautiful Brit & description of her smart, sweet self! What an upper.

--- Laurie

 

[AGBF]

Laurie,

I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed your photos and your anecdotes. I have very limited computer time today for reasons I won't get into, but I wanted to tell you how much they have meant to me. I have always felt a real connection to you and everything you have shared has just strengthened that feeling. (But perhaps that is a feeling that every Pricescoper reading your words is experiencing, because you are a very gifted writer and you are sharing so much of yourself with us in such a moving essay.)

Your friendship with Torch reminds me of the friendship I had with my mentor, Elaine, who was my history teacher at The Low-Heywood School and then my colleague in the History Department at The Low-Heywood Thomas School. She became a friend to me shortly after I graduated from high school and eventually our friendship blossomed to the point where we vacationed in Maine with our husbands! We used to get together regularly as couples to play bridge. Elaine was, if not 35 years my senior, at least 25 years my senior. She had three daughters who were more or less my age.

Elaine was a really elegant woman not so much in the way she dressed or the way she wore her her hair, which were not more than the average in how stylish they were, but in her manners. She earned the sobriquet, "Lady Elaine" among the Low-Heywood faculty. She seemed to know everything about the correct way that things were done, even though she came from a middle class home.(Once one of our colleagues who derived from the English upper class was asking at a gathering if we didn't sometimes long for the old days of big houses and servants. I shocked everyone by saying that I didn't, because my family would have been among the servants, and Elaine joined with me in saying that hers would have been among the servants, too!) She knew things that my mother, who was Elaine's age, and pretty well-versed in etiquette, did not: such as during what months women were supposed to wear black gloves in the United States. I wish she were still alive so that I could ask her about that again. I asked her so many times, but I could never remember the answer! It was nothing as simple as the Memorial Day to Labor Day white rule.

I did not mean to copy you, Laurie, but what you wrote was inspirational. Your wonderful friendship with Torch made me want to share about my similar (in that there was an age gap) relationship with Elaine. Both Torch and Elaine were exemplary women, too. I won't get into details here, but Elaine gallantly fought ovarian cancer for eight years in a way no on I have ever seen before has.Shortly before her death she gave herself a big 80th birthday party and invited all her friends to her lovely home where she had someone playing her piano (she was a wonderful pianist and singer) and everyone gathered around the piano and sang. It was Elaine who left me all her Georgette Heyer books, something I mentioned in another thread.

I have always felt close to you, Laurie, with shared bonds of Greenwich, dogs, age, a brush with Sarah Lawrence College (my best friend went there and I almost transferred there), a love of silver flatware, and more.... Now I really feel I need to meet you!

Hugs,
Deb

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Thank you ladies for sharing these beautifully written stories--such a pleasure to read!!

PS--love the pics of the pooches! More pooch pics are always welcome....

cheers--Sharon

 

[JewelFreak]

Pooch pics we got, Sharon! By the bucketful.

Deb, your teacher & friend sounds wonderful. There's something special about friendships with people older than we are -- from the time I was a teenager I always liked to hang with old folks. Lots of wisdom & humor if they've survived as long as they have. (Now I'm practically one of them! ) I'm sure you treasure experiences & memories with Elaine -- & how cool you went off with husbands in tow too!

It would be fabulous to get together -- message me on DB. I'm JF1407 there. I'll look forward to hearing from you!

--- Laurie