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Jeweler won't let me find my own pearls for custom earrings?

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 13, 2019
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5,077
I have been hunting for sleeper huggies, and custom detachable dangles to go with them to "dress them up" for bridal earrings. I found a jeweler to make a pair of dangles and hoops for me, and I really like their design. They were excited to do it as they have been wanting to do a project like it for a while.

I asked to procure my own pearls. The jeweler is refusing to let me source my own pearls. Is that normal?

I sent them EXACTLY what I want - I'm offering to let them procure them, and charge me for them at a margin and I will assume all risks since it is not a vendor they source from.

They keep batting around the bush and are sending me pearls that are not what I want. I am getting frustrated, I have never encountered anything like this before and confused as to why they are being inflexible.

I want something very specific. 7-8mm, light silver/blue, semi baroque (40-60% symmetry) Akoyas, with excellent lustre. I found them. Sent them a link. And - they won't use them or give me a reason as to why. Arghhh!!!
 

Pearlescence

Brilliant_Rock
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How odd. But you are the customer. It's your money.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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53,978
I agree with @Daisys and Diamonds find another jeweler if you want to source your own pearls. Most likely the jeweler doesn’t a. Want to take responsibility for your pearls and b. He/she can make a bigger profit by sourcing the pearls for you.

That’s the jeweler’s prerogative just as it is yours to do business elsewhere. Good luck. I bet your earrings will be gorgeous ❤️
 
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
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2,911
I would definitely find a different jeweler as well. It’s one thing if you’re a) not fussy and b) pearls aren’t integral to your design, but they are.

Also, unless the source you’ve found is a wholesaler who won’t sell to you without jewelry business credentials, I don’t see why your jeweler would need to be involved in the sourcing - I’ve taken old pieces in to a local jeweler before and had them repurpose old gemstones. What if those were just two pearls you owned previously? Would he refuse to set them?

Actually perhaps you can ask your jeweler if he’d be agreeable if you take delivery of the pearls from your source and give them to him? If he says yes, maybe he just doesn’t want to assume the responsibility of sourcing from a vendor he doesn’t know. If he says no, then you know that he’s strangely inflexible and probably wants to charge you a significant margin on the pearls, which would make me suspicious of what else he’s upcharging on.
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
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5,077
Thank you all - this is exactly what I thought. I have no clue why the jeweler would refuse/is being finicky. I explicitly stated that I was looking for something very particular for pearls. I didn’t expect them to find something given that! He said they do not use any materials sourced by customers. :???: Never heard that before.

I love the unique style of their huggie hoops - I may just buy the hoops and have a local bench make the dangles.

I gave them one last chance and sent a message last night - if they won’t source them I’m done dealing with it!

thank you all! Glad to know im not being crazy!
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 13, 2019
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5,077
I think that is what I will do.

The ONLY reason I was hesitant, is that I am getting unplated WG. I LOVE the soft warm white color.

I know it is silly, but I am suuuuper sensitive to slight differences in color. I wanted the alloy of the gold for the dangles and earrings to match.

But, I want the style of hoops which I think are very unusual and lovely, and then also the pearls I want...both of which, I want more than tiny bits of metal in the dangles to be precisely the same alloy.

I am....neurotic. :bigsmile:

Just for fun...these are the 13mm oval hoops!

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.05.48 AM.png
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2011
Messages
3,214
I think that is what I will do.

The ONLY reason I was hesitant, is that I am getting unplated WG. I LOVE the soft warm white color.

I know it is silly, but I am suuuuper sensitive to slight differences in color. I wanted the alloy of the gold for the dangles and earrings to match.

But, I want the style of hoops which I think are very unusual and lovely, and then also the pearls I want...both of which, I want more than tiny bits of metal in the dangles to be precisely the same alloy.

I am....neurotic. :bigsmile:

Just for fun...these are the 13mm oval hoops!

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.05.48 AM.png

Recognize those I think. Canadian studio on Etsy???
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 2, 2011
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3,214
Almost bought a pair a year ago. They look well made. I've found that with a lot of Canadian jewellers, refusing to use customer stones. They always claim insurance issues, but...?
 

elizat

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2013
Messages
3,999
I think that is what I will do.

The ONLY reason I was hesitant, is that I am getting unplated WG. I LOVE the soft warm white color.

I know it is silly, but I am suuuuper sensitive to slight differences in color. I wanted the alloy of the gold for the dangles and earrings to match.

But, I want the style of hoops which I think are very unusual and lovely, and then also the pearls I want...both of which, I want more than tiny bits of metal in the dangles to be precisely the same alloy.

I am....neurotic. :bigsmile:

Just for fun...these are the 13mm oval hoops!

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.05.48 AM.png

Those look wide. Your charms may need a very good sized jump ring to go on them. It may be a bit bulky looking?
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
5,077
Almost bought a pair a year ago. They look well made. I've found that with a lot of Canadian jewellers, refusing to use customer stones. They always claim insurance issues, but...?

That is suuuuper interesting. I wondered if it was something like that...I used to live in Canada, and encountered weird bits of bureaucracy seemingly at every turn. It reminded me of that...I am just not used to it. Heck, I even helped source the french lace for my own darn wedding dress. I would NEVER want a metalsmith to pick a gem or anything for me! There are too many variables.

I think what beguiles me the most...non trade ideal pearls seems soooo low stakes...honestly they aren't even worth much! I just like what I like!

This is actually the kind of pearl I want - not ideal. I just like silver/blue akoyas, luster and asymmetry, like little drops! I don't even mind a less than perfect surface.

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.16.42 AM.png Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.15.53 AM.png
 
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
2,911
I think that is what I will do.

The ONLY reason I was hesitant, is that I am getting unplated WG. I LOVE the soft warm white color.

I know it is silly, but I am suuuuper sensitive to slight differences in color. I wanted the alloy of the gold for the dangles and earrings to match.

But, I want the style of hoops which I think are very unusual and lovely, and then also the pearls I want...both of which, I want more than tiny bits of metal in the dangles to be precisely the same alloy.

I am....neurotic. :bigsmile:

Just for fun...these are the 13mm oval hoops!

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.05.48 AM.png

Very pretty! I think once you find someone to make your detachable drops, you can ask them if they will be able to match the color of the gold alloy exactly. If they won’t be able to, just get the drops in a contrasting metal! If the contrast is big enough it’ll look like a deliberate choice (and mixed metals is very chic imo).
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
5,077
Those look wide. Your charms may need a very good sized jump ring to go on them. It may be a bit bulky looking?

They are actually very small hoops - they look deceptively large in photos - I would need a 3.5mm jump ring.

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.22.56 AM.png

I imagine the end result to look vaguely like this. These hoops are 14mm and the pearls are 8.5mm, so slightly bigger.

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.21.53 AM.png

Now I am second guessing myself....
 
Last edited:

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 13, 2019
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5,077
Very pretty! I think once you find someone to make your detachable drops, you can ask them if they will be able to match the color of the gold alloy exactly. If they won’t be able to, just get the drops in a contrasting metal! If the contrast is big enough it’ll look like a deliberate choice (and mixed metals is very chic imo).

Actually - contrasting metal is an AWESOME idea. Maybe a really high karat YG would look like a great contrast with the WG hoop
 
Joined
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Actually - contrasting metal is an AWESOME idea. Maybe a really high karat YG would look like a great contrast with the WG hoop

I like the idea of high karat YG. You’ll have to see the contrast with the pearls though, since they’re the star of the show.
How about the black rhodium finish for the hoop? It’ll contrast against the warm WG without clashing with the blue/silver of the pearls.
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2011
Messages
3,214
Agree. Get the earrings and go elsewhere to get your drops done up. That should be pretty straigtforward to match I would think. They have great reviews for the earrings themselves.

Worst case scenario, you get the pearls drilled thru and wire wrap them yourself. I have oodles of stones that I used to hang on hoops done that way. Matching wire is harder but sometimes blackened silver is a nice contrast. GF wire can be pretty light too. Just brainstorming here.
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
5,077
Agree. Get the earrings and go elsewhere to get your drops done up. That should be pretty straigtforward to match I would think. They have great reviews for the earrings themselves.

Worst case scenario, you get the pearls drilled thru and wire wrap them yourself. I have oodles of stones that I used to hang on hoops done that way. Matching wire is harder but sometimes blackened silver is a nice contrast. GF wire can be pretty light too. Just brainstorming here.

Yeah - I think I could cobble something together in a pinch.

They have the hoops in 14k and 19k (because they want a whiter alloy) - I was going to pick 14k due to easy matching. I also prefer the warmer color and suspect the 14k will be a closer match to my 18k WG unplated wedding set, ultimately. Their 19k alloy is unusual and very close to platinum to my eyes.

I wasn't sure if I should get half drilled or fully drilled pearls. I do prefer the look without metal poking through at the bottom.

Hmm.

I am waiting to hear back from them, I will give them the courtesy of allowing them to respond and pull the trigger on the hoops. I have a local jeweler who I can see if he can make the dangles. Should be pretty easy.
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
5,077
These are their two alloys, I have never seen 19k WG before, to be honest - I was not sure what to pick

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.38.07 AM.png
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
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3,214
These are their two alloys, I have never seen 19k WG before, to be honest - I was not sure what to pick

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 11.38.07 AM.png

Could they send a non glamour shot of the color of each? In natural lighting? I like both!
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 13, 2019
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5,077
That is a great idea.

My wedding set is from Sholdt. It is actually being cast now - so I don’t have it to take comparison photos. The reason I care that they vaguely match, is because I want to wear these hoops everyday.Granted they aren’t sitting right next to each other so total precision isn’t as important to me

This is a photo of the 18k alloy Sholdt used...not my ring, mine will also be high polish. I will see if I can find others. It looks to be smack in the middle.

23239A54-2838-400B-B333-82391A0B1539.jpeg
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
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3,214
It's a beautiful ring!
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
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5,077
It's a beautiful ring!

It is! Mine is quite different - a simple bezel. Sorry that is just the only picture I have of Sholdt's unplated 18k WG!
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
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3,214
It is! Mine is quite different - a simple bezel. Sorry that is just the only picture I have of Sholdt's unplated 18k WG!

My last ER was unplated white gold too, so I get it! My skin tone suits the in between of gold and silver :) Rose gold looks ghastly on me LOL

Well...some of the British 9ct stuff is ok. Just ok tho.
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
5,077
My last ER was unplated white gold too, so I get it! My skin tone suits the in between of gold and silver :) Rose gold looks ghastly on me LOL

Well...some of the British 9ct stuff is ok. Just ok tho.

Oh I am exactly the same way - can’t understand why white gold is always rhodium plated. So many alloys have a lovely soft vanilla color. It is the perfect middle ground and most flattering!!!

And totally agree on rose gold - absolutely atrocious against my pale, pink skin!
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
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3,214
Oh I am exactly the same way - can’t understand why white gold is always rhodium plated. So many alloys have a lovely soft vanilla color. It is the perfect middle ground and most flattering!!!

And totally agree on rose gold - absolutely atrocious against my pale, pink skin!

Hope you can come to an agreeable outcome with the above! I think they are lovely and well made earrings :)
You must be very excited for your ring as well. I know I am, isn't even mine LOL.
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
5,077
Hope you can come to an agreeable outcome with the above! I think they are lovely and well made earrings :)
You must be very excited for your ring as well. I know I am, isn't even mine LOL.

Thank you very much for the kind wishes in responses!!!

I can't wait for it....I don't which ring you were thinking of...the sapphire I just bought won't be set for a while...

But my e-ring with Sholdt should be done in a few weeks!!! :D
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
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The ering :D:D:D
 

Cerulean

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 13, 2019
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5,077
Well! The jeweler making the hoops said they are happy to make dangles, provided I source and mail them and cover customs incurred. Fine by me.

I think they just didn't want to use a different vendor. I am happy with that. They sent a photo of the two alloys - I like the 14k.

14k on the right, same style / size as the hoops I am getting
19k matte on the left, different large tapered hoops
19k polished piece to show

Rough sketch of the earrings to show proportions with with 8mm semi baroque pearls with a slight drop, like I am looking for!

Screen Shot 2020-06-17 at 5.15.35 PM.png
 
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