I've been hating my engagement ring… PLEASE HELP!!

[Keswainy]

Hello,

This is my first post here and I cannot wait to hear what you all have to say. So… back in 2013 I met my now husband in the Navy, he deployed to Afghan and I went to Spain. During deployment I looked at rings everyday and found a tri tone gold ring with intricate detailing and a ton of little diamonds, the ring was from Robbins Brother’s Supreme Collection at the time. That was literally the only ring I wanted and would entertain us getting. We got engaged Decemeber 2013 with that exact ring and spent a STUPID amount ($8,500 (I was young and I paid for probably $5,000 of it by myself)) on a ring that had a CZ center (yes, I literally kick myself in the butt everyday for EVER spending that much on pretty much just a setting).



January 2014 we got married at a small ceremony in Santa Barbara California. Well fast forward 4 years now and I have always had issues with finding the “right” bands for my ring. I love having a ring on the top and bottom of my engagement ring but it is hard because the diamonds are on EVERY side of it and they just rub whatever band I get. Recently I got a gorgeous ring guard off eBay that I had separated into two rings and I LOVE them! The only problem… my engagement ring is wearing away the bands now. I have looked into “spacer rings” but it is hard because my engagement ring is 8mm wide (she’s a big girl) and with the other two rings they take up my whole finger pretty much.



Just today my center diamond came in the mail (another eBay win!!) and it is a 2 carat GIA round brilliant. I need to get it set in my enagement ring but I feel like just keeping it in the solitaire it came in. I know my husband would be heartbroken because we spent so much on my engagement ring itself. I am at a loss and do not know what to do. I used to adore my engagement ring but it has just been a hassle over the years.



Any feedback or comments is GREATLY appreciated!

PHOTOS IN ORDER:

Robbins Brother’s Ring Photos from their website

Side view I took (CZ center)

New diamond in the solitaire it came in

My ring (CZ) with my bands

New diamond with my bands

 

[Luce]

That is quite a thick substantial Ering. I would wear it by itself and the wedding band on my right hand if I were you because unless you wear a spacer, the melee will continue to eat away at your bands. Would love to hear the details on your new 2ct stone, it looks beautiful!

 

[Keswainy]

That is quite a thick substantial Ering. I would wear it by itself and the wedding band on my right hand if I were you because unless you wear a spacer, the melee will continue to eat away at your bands. Would love to hear the details on your new 2ct stone, it looks beautiful!

Thank you! I would wear it on my right hand but I wear 3 rings already on that hand
I have been looking into cheap spacer rings as kind of "throw away" rings so that they take all the damage but my ring itself is fine.

And my "new" diamond is:
GIA certififed
2 carat Round Brilliant (8.03 - 8.07 - 5.01)
M - Faint Brown (I LOVE!)
VS2
Excellent Cut

 

[SimoneDi]

I agree with @Luce that I would either set the new diamond in your existing setting and wear it alone. The e-ring already has a lot of presence. Or you can potentially just keep the diamond in the new solitaire. Both look lovely.

P.S. That diamond does not look like an M - great find!

 

[Keswainy]

I agree with @Luce that I would either set the new diamond in your existing setting and wear it alone. The e-ring already has a lot of presence. Or you can potentially just keep the diamond in the new solitaire. Both look lovely.

P.S. That diamond does not look like an M - great find!

Thank you!! I was thrilled because I got it for $6,000 on the DOT!! I really wanted an Old Mine cut but dang a 2 carat OM is TOO expensive lol

 

[Luce]

It sure does not look like an M! You could always keep it in the solitaire and purchase a pretty color sapphire for your Ering! (Im of the mindset that you can never have enough rings!!!!!)

 

[Keswainy]

It sure does not look like an M! You could always keep it in the solitaire and purchase a pretty color sapphire for your Ering! (Im of the mindset that you can never have enough rings!!!!!)

I have actually thought of going the route of a gemstone instead of diamond but Robbins Brothers will not mount it and then that would void my warranty that I have with them for the setting.

This 4 years older me is just kicking 4 years younger me for getting a ring that is so dang WIDE! An 8mm wide ring is big. Plus the diamonds on both sides make wearing bands so hard! I've been searching for bands that would work with this ring but it is hard to find any.

 

[prs]

I don't think there is any need to tell your husband you overpaid for the Robbins ring, after all the setting is spectacular! Just say that now you are both more financially secure you think it's time to replace the center cz with a real diamond, and that you want to wear this ring everyday for the rest of your life. I don't see why this would upset your husband, in fact I think he would be delighted.

Your engagement ring is big and fantastic, and sure as heck doesn't need bands on either side. I agree with others the bands should go on a different finger, maybe with a nice sapphire!

 

[foxinsox]

Why not get an OEC/OMB moissanite to fit your Robbins setting and keep the MRB in the solitaire so you can switch them round as you want? Golden Bird Jewels on Etsy/Ebay have some very well priced, quite nicely cut moissies so you could have both options. Will Robbins Bros only cover setting diamonds?

Also SCORE on that MRB! what a pretty find for a lovely price

 

[Bron357]

Hi, your engagement ring setting is absolutely spectacular and worth the money you paid.
Those side rings - no, they are too fussy, too wide and detracting from your spectacular engagement ring.
My suggestion would be too go with two plain band rings either side, either diamond set or plain and either in two tone gold, white gold or yellow gold.
BUT what you need to do is get a jeweller to put two or three small 18kt gold beads on the outside edge of each band. That will give you a pseudo spacer and stop the outside edge diamonds on your engagement ring wearing down your band rings. 18kt because you want these “gold beads” to wear down rather than your engagement setting. It’s easy enough to get little gold beads re added if they wear too much.
And get yourself a nice 8mm round coloured gem to pop into the other setting and wear that with the fancy side rings.
Problem solved.

 

[peacechick]

Your original e-ring is very beautiful. Actually it already looks like 3 bands, a top and bottom white gold guard band around a yellow gold woven solitaire band. I think it was designed to be an all-in-one like when people weld their e-ring and wedding band together. So you really don’t need those extra guard bands, the look is somewhat excessive. Your e-ring looks ornate, antique and expensive (and it was!) but I feel that your guard rings clash as they are from a different era (80s, early 90s), and it brings down the overall look. I would wear the e-ring and the solitaire separately, and place those guard rings over a colored stone which would make them look good.

 

[nala]

I agree with most replies here. Wear your original as is! No need for the ring guard. Your new M is so perfect for that setting! Do yourself a favor and set your M in that ring. Then you will have a 2 carat designer ring for 14k which is a fair price! That might make you feel better about the money you spent on the setting. But i would return the ring guards! Save that money! I used to have a set like that in the early 90’s!

 

[GliderPoss]

I agree with the others - simply switch out the old CZ centre stone for the new real diamond and wear your original ring by itself! It’s already very ornate and has plenty of bling presence.

 

[Niel]

Is that an ann McKay or a Marc Williams ring on your finger? I love it

As for your ring situation. - I’m obsessed with the guard soli combo- though I’d probably have the metals matching myself. The soli is really perfectly accentuated by the cool guard you found which I ,tbh, am pretty jealous of.

I honestly jewelry is a frivolity. If you don’t like wearing it there is literally no other point.
If he’s attached to the setting- which you paid so much for- pop a lab stone in there and save it for special occasions.(if it doesn’t already have a lab stone in it- I didn’t quite follow that bit)

 

[Niel]

This is very now very “instagram” it’s a look thay is much more modern and “upcoming”

The current setting is a bit more dated in my opinion and I think you’d be better served saving that for a rhr that can stand on its own and be worn sometimes when you want to.

I know this is similar to my other post but I feel very strongly that this look attached is a million times more fresh and attractive and I feel you shouldn’t wear something you hate

 

[Elizabeth35]

I agree with others---your e-ring is spectacular and should be worn as a stand alone ring. You are lucky your fingers can accommodate that wide ring!
Can you post a hand shot with your e-ring without the guards? I'm thinking the guards are hiding some of the sparkle of the diamonds on the sides of the setting, and who wants to hide sparkle?!?!?

I would put the lovely new diamond in your original setting and enjoy it!

 

[justpeachy]

Agreeing with everyone who says not to wear anything else with your e-ring. Unless you had a sentimental wedding band that you were dying to make "work", I don't see the point. It is more than enough ring and beautiful on its own.

Also +1 to @Niel in that your guard is modern and very "instagram" for the moment. Looks great with the solitaire (yet it somehow dates the original e-ring in a very 80's way). I would leave all 4 rings as-is. Keep your e-ring with the cz in it, it was what you were married with & kind of sentimental that way- yeah? Plus it looks great. Just wear it alone. Keep the new diamond in the solitaire and wear it with the ring guard. Also looks great. And suddenly you have 2 very nice and different options. The diamond isn't going anywhere, you can always put it in your e-ring later. And you don't have to present it to your husband that you've changed your mind, or are ditching your expensive setting, or any of the above. Just that you're taking your time and will likely get around to it, right?

 

[luv2sparkle]

Your original ring is very pretty, but please ditch the bands. They so take away from the lovely intricate beauty of your setting. I really don’t like them even with the solitaire. I got married in 1980 and that style was very popular then and is reminiscent of one of my early (1985) settings. But that is just my preference. I do think that the bands even detract from the beauty of your new stone. I would use them and make a killer right hand ring or use them in a setting.

 

[liaerfbv]

Your e-ring is meant to be worn alone. Or with a plain band. Anything else will rub. I would keep the soli as it with the guards, which is a much more attractive ring set IMO.

 

[elle_71125]

I love your e-ring. The details are beautiful!
Personally, I’d wear that baby as a stand alone ring. It’s perfect as is.

 

[lambskin]

I had the same thought as Luce...reset the original ring with a colored stone. You can wait until you can find and afford the new stone. Thus if it is a colored stone you can wear it on your right hand and there would be no need to have additional bands and/ or spacers. A sapphire, aquamarine, ammy or emerald would look beautiful with the tri- tone metals. In fact almost any color stone would look pretty except for a topaz, citrine, peridot, yellow sapphire. Good luck.

 

[prs]

1. Convince your husband that it would be a great idea to switch out that temporary piece of glass in your e-ring for a real diamond. This should be easy, don't worry about it!

2. Tell him you just got the deal of a lifetime on a 2ct diamond.

3. Break out the Champagne!!!

 

[Keswainy]

Why not get an OEC/OMB moissanite to fit your Robbins setting and keep the MRB in the solitaire so you can switch them round as you want? Golden Bird Jewels on Etsy/Ebay have some very well priced, quite nicely cut moissies so you could have both options. Will Robbins Bros only cover setting diamonds?

Also SCORE on that MRB! what a pretty find for a lovely price

Yes unfortunately Robbins Brothers will only cover diamonds as they will not put any other gemstone into the setting.

 

[Keswainy]

Is that an ann McKay or a Marc Williams ring on your finger? I love it

As for your ring situation. - I’m obsessed with the guard soli combo- though I’d probably have the metals matching myself. The soli is really perfectly accentuated by the cool guard you found which I ,tbh, am pretty jealous of.

I honestly jewelry is a frivolity. If you don’t like wearing it there is literally no other point.
If he’s attached to the setting- which you paid so much for- pop a lab stone in there and save it for special occasions.(if it doesn’t already have a lab stone in it- I didn’t quite follow that bit)

WOW!! Good eye!! You must be from Williamsport or some surrounding city because yes the ring on my pointer finger is from Marc Williams! I had two solitaire rings (1 from my mom and 1 from my dad) and I had him create a ring where I could wear a diamond from each parent.

I found the ring enhancer on eBay and paid $800 for it, and then paid $80 to have it separated into 2 rings and resized.

 

[Babyblue033]

May I ask WHY you hate your original ring? Is it the ring itself you don't like anymore, or the frustration that you can't wear a wedding band with it? If you took away the need for a band, would you be able to enjoy it for what it is, an ornate, beautiful ring that stands on its own?

I can see it either way, put the new diamond in your original setting and wear it on its own, or put a lovely colored stone in it and wear it as a right hand ring. Either way, I think it is a beautiful ring in its own right and don't need a band to go with it.

As for the ring guards, I'm personally not a fan of that style but I can see how it's making a come back. If you decide to keep them you can wear it with your solitaire, with whatever center stone you choose to put there.

 

[liaerfbv]

I wouldn't rely on any warranty from a jewelry store - they are garbage. If you want insurance, get a 3rd party jewelry policy.

 

[Niel]

WOW!! Good eye!! You must be from Williamsport or some surrounding city because yes the ring on my pointer finger is from Marc Williams! I had two solitaire rings (1 from my mom and 1 from my dad) and I had him create a ring where I could wear a diamond from each parent.

I found the ring enhancer on eBay and paid $800 for it, and then paid $80 to have it separated into 2 rings and resized.

Nope just love that designer lol.

Honestly that ring guard is making your set. I’d just wear those and that soli.

 

[Keswainy]

I appreciate everyone's input! I used to wear it alone when we first got married because I never knew what to wear with it

I am including 3 photos of it by itself.
In the last photo, where you can see the side of it... that is exactly what the other side looks like as well. So there is diamonds on every side making it seem impossible to wear any band at all.



**The black blob under my ring is actually the letter D in a cursive font (husband's intital)**

 

[Keswainy]

May I ask WHY you hate your original ring? Is it the ring itself you don't like anymore, or the frustration that you can't wear a wedding band with it? If you took away the need for a band, would you be able to enjoy it for what it is, an ornate, beautiful ring that stands on its own?

I can see it either way, put the new diamond in your original setting and wear it on its own, or put a lovely colored stone in it and wear it as a right hand ring. Either way, I think it is a beautiful ring in its own right and don't need a band to go with it.

As for the ring guards, I'm personally not a fan of that style but I can see how it's making a come back. If you decide to keep them you can wear it with your solitaire, with whatever center stone you choose to put there.

When it all comes down to it... I do love my original engagement ring. I really hate how wide it is though at 8mm and that I cannot find a band to wear with it to save my life.

I cannot really wear it on my right hand because I wear 3 rings already on my right hand. I'll take a photo of my "usual" right hand rings so everyone can see what I wear.

 

[Keswainy]

This is normally what I wear for my right hand rings. Sometimes I switch out the diamond on my pointer finger for a Marc Williams leaf/vine ring that has a brownish stone.

As you can see, I LOVE LOVE LOVE mixing gold tones.